why do i have to pretend
that i don't care
just to get you
You know that state of shock when you suddenly wake up with a feeling of falling and your body physically moves itself because it feels so real?
That’s what happens right before you die in a dream.
You’re in this REM state, your body is basically paralyzed and you’re about to die, but our brains are simply miraculous.
See, our brain actually give us that jolt and wakes us up, because our mind doesn’t know what to do after death.
It doesn’t know what comes next.
Therefore, we live again.
That’s what it felt like.
It felt like a paralyzing dream effect where I was dying but I couldn’t wake up and my body couldn’t move and my brain forgot how to work and my heart didn’t remember how to pound to its normal beat.
“Mom, I think I like girls, but I’ll never tell you this, because I don’t know who I am yet, but what I know is that my body will rather paralyze itself, than tell you this...”
If I'm okay
But not because
You really care
But because you're trying
To convince yourself
That you do
always broken my heart
sliced it more than two
the words you left were ****
it’s sad that i love you
what made you change
why do you lie ?
you’re really acting strange
i’m not the bad guy
but neither are you
you’re just hurt
there’s nothing i could do
now you’ve left me in the dirt
- letha fay
it’s stupid. all of things you did, all of the things you do. i don’t understand why. i don’t understand why i could still care so much. you still cross my mind. although, there’s nothing i can do. just know that i’ll always love you .
I’m lost, and I feel like I can’t be found. I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know if I should listen to my friends giving me advice or just ignore it. I’m hurt. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I can still remember that day in April, your eyes, so full of happiness. Your smile was so perfect. It still is. You were so beautiful. To me you were perfect. I remember the last day. The feelings in the air. I still feel that way if not worse. I know I hurt you more then you hurt me, and I know I can’t do anything to fix it and now I’m worthless and I don’t know anymore,
The worse part is that I know no one is looking for me anymore. And it’s okay too. Cause I know that deep down, I’ll never be found.
I hate spring because of you,
Nobody tells you that it just hurts.
To put it simply, you try, you take the medication, and you talk to the therapist, but it's still lingering.
It's the shadow that follows and its the thread that is entwined through the fabrications of your lies. My mother is sad.
My brothers don't understand.
And my sister remains silent.
To be told to be happy is not the way to go.
I've appreciated the help, but I no longer know how far I can go.
I want whats best but what's best doesn't want me. I've given so much from the salt of my tears to the iron in my blood. Both, unwavering, and bitter to the touch. I've given and still, I have lost so much.
To you, I say, until further I'll be, forever with me, you'll be.
That **** hurted
I'm depressed sometimes suicidal
It's okay, I'm okay (no I'm not)
No effing pill could fix this
Pills **** anyway, don't want that ****
I'm sorry this is bad, don't be a hater just let me be depressed
And maybe if you had a heart you would end my suffering
I put it on, everyday.
I tried not to make mistakes.
Even though it’s full of cracks,
I still sit up and put on my act.
And though no one ever wants to ask,
I still get up.
And put on My Mask.
i didn't remember what it was like to be young,
i'm young now but
i guess what i mean is happy.
i don't remember what it's like to be happy.
inspired by ...myself