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Just Melz May 2016
Two spiteful lovers in a raging battle
Fighting against the tides of war
Lost within themselves and images
Of the serenity from the ways of before
Not knowing how to come down from the high
Never needing much, just a little bit more
In love with the idea of opposites attract
Until it leaves them both lying on the floor
Just Melz Apr 2015
If you accidentally
             fall out of love,
Do you just dive
                back in head first?
           Feet first??
                     Eyes closed???
        Cannon ball????
             Or
Do you walk away
       Cause you can't swim
And you're scared to death
                   of *drowning?????
I don't know the answer and I'm not sure what I'm even asking..... Enjoy.

Comments welcomed and appreciated.  
      Thx

http://www.gofundme.com/r5wnpsd5
I'm not only asking for financial help, moral support and advice can help too.

PLEASE CLICK THE LINK
Share my story, help if you're able.
THANK YOU all for any help or support.
Just Melz Nov 2014
Tracing the patterns
                       of the stars
          Onto the peaks
    and ridges
                      of your spine
Seeing
        the galaxies
                    and universes
       Of all those
                   trillions,
          I only want
              YOU
      to be *mine
Just Melz Oct 2015
I love life too much
      To ever actually
                **** myself
Although, sometimes I wish
          I was dead
So, for now,
       I guess I'll just dream
   Seeing stars floating around
And softly put this pillow
            *To my head
Just Melz Jan 2015
There's
     a
        FIRE
            in
                my
                     SOUL
                 burning
              me
          ALIVE
       from
   the
INSIDE
    out.
        No
            WATER
                or
                    wind
                 CAN
             control
         it.
For the element challenge...
Just Melz Jul 2014
My anger rustles tree branches like fallen leaves,  
and I believe the wind can find a way to blow it all away,
like a tornado,  
spinning my emotions out of control,  
wherever they go,  
they'll move mountains and make streams,  
I believe the water will boil over with doubt and rage,  
crashing over the shores in waves,  and for days I believe in the truth of the storm,  
begging the skies for more,  
a single thundercloud with drops of jealousy so pure,
and thunder made from screams of outrage and misery,  
bolts of dreams,
crooked and lost at the seams,  
I believe in the calm,  
in the eye of the storm,  
that moment of happiness you'll never remember anymore,
and hail falls in a perfect form,
frozen and hard like my heart when the skies are clear,
I fear the clouds will disappear,  
along with everything I feel,
and when the sun shines,  
I can no longer heal,
the earthquake of despair rumbles though the ground,  
and the dirt moves like a whirlwind of truth,
light of fear starts shining through,  
frightening the leaves as they crumble to the earth,
they disperse in a tsunami of fury,
telling the story of the barren tree branches that were once my soul,
stealing the emotions and madness that had once made me whole
Just Melz Jun 2014
Smooth as silk on soft crimson sheets
Sliding and gliding in unison
Rhythmic hearts beating
Nothing in comparison
The heat splashes in waves
Our minds in a daze
Lost in intertwined bodies
Skin on skin, lips on lips
Tongues soothing like wine
Electricity at our finger tips
Wrapped up and warm
But oh so paralyzed
Lost in the others eyes
Totally hypnotized
Dancing to our own beat
Singing our own ****** tune
Words all spicy and sweet
The ending will come too soon
The beat gets faster, we move as a whole
Locked together as one soul
Sweating, panting, barely able to breathe
Eyes lock, arm tightens
Sensations move as a prefect one
Space around sudden lightens
The dream is finally done
Just Melz Jun 2014
The sun is rising
I am dying
It's fateful
This role I play
But to live
And love
Just one more day
Like a dream
I've found the way
To live and to love
Without any fear
I hear my heart
At last
Its calling to me
Hurts from the past
Pains of the scare
Having a blast
Without any care
A future
A life
A wondrous love
Looking back to the past
My choices never last
But it's a change
I've found in me
Finally to be
In love and life
Anticipating
What was meant to be
You'll see
My heart belongs
To the everlasting mystery
Just Melz Jun 2014
It's burning in your soul
I know
Pretenscious
And foolish
Reminiscing the pain
Which way
Should I go to turn around?
To see the past
Is to know the future
History repeats itself
And all of that
Making the same mistakes
Everyday
Learn from the past
Make a new future
Travel a new way
Go
Get your life underway
You have a history to make
Challenges to defeat
Life
Its worth discovering
Its truth and dispair
You're alive
Surviving
Find love everywhere
Just Melz May 2015
The truth is bleeding out of my pores
And yet the feelings are all bottled up inside
I fall out of my skin, disappearing out the back door
Losing my mind, struggling to find the best place to hide
Running laps around the sounds of my own screams
Trying to decide which dreams I should or should not believe
Thinking that my life is no more than it seems
And these struggles I have are sent by the devil to deceive
It works; the lies, the hate, the pain that I'm put through
It makes me break down and I get scared of the truth
But the suicidal thoughts in my mind all lead back to you
And the tears that stream down my cheeks burn like a fire
That's bigger than all the flames of rage from my youth
It hurts; it builds in my soul before it pours out my eyes
Becoming rivers that flood my life with disguises and lies
I don't know how to make it all fade away, to disappear
Because it's more than I can handle and I hate to admit it
But it fuels my spirit and awakens all my childhood fears
Chilling me to my core, causing me to give up, simply quit
How do I do that? How do I commit myself to suicide?
Is that what I really want? Is that truly what I need?
Do I believe that my life is only my choice to decide?
And if I hide in the corners of my mind, will I still bleed?
These are the things I ask myself every morning when I wake up
As I stare at all the sugar settled at the bottom of my coffee cup
Then the caffeine hits me and I finally start to think clearly
What was I thinking? There is no way in hell I'll ever give up
Meant to be a slam/spoken word poem.
www.gofundme.com/r5wnpsd5
^This just explains more plainly what I'm going through.
Copy and paste to read it if you can, thank you.
Just Melz Feb 2016
Every song you ever said was about me
I play on repeat
Singing along to all the words that hopefully still mean something
Titles and tracks that shuffle on a loop
Somehow constantly reminding me of you
And I can't seem to forget the words you wrote too
But what means the most
Is something only you can do
When you sing to me
And I can feel that every word is true
Just Melz Oct 2014
~
England, 6am
~
Germany, 7am
~
Singapore, 1pm
~
Australia, 4pm
~
Just keeping track of my friends

Friends from all over the world can be complicated at times.
Just Melz Dec 2016
Dreaming of a new day
Hoping the past fades away
Never knowing the truth
Cause the lies always stay

Nightmares await my waking hours
And reality's dreams never really mattered
So I surround my self with a wall of glass
But the past crashed in and my faith was shattered

And that wall falls into a black hole of despair
Leaving my emotions exposed, naked and bare
Just Melz Nov 2014
I hope at night that you dream of me
That my sweet whispers reach your ears
I pray to God at night that you might love me
Say it's so, take away all my fears

But the girl I see in the mirror
Prays to God you don't hear her

There's a girl looking in the mirror
I can see her, but I can't hear her

Beautiful face,
lonely eyes
I can see she's not one,
to mess around with the guys

There's only one,
That holds the love in her heart.
Him.


If he doesn't hold on dearly, he might lose it
A fragile soul and a breakable heart
She cries out with lovely music
Praying she doesn't get torn all apart

This girl looking in my mirror
Knows you'll never hear her

How do I tell her, show her the way
He'll never hear her, if he can't see her
It goes deeper beyond what meets his eye
It's time for her to reveal what's inside

Don't hide!
Behind...
The mirror!

Show him your smile, dance in his eyes


Staring carefully in to that mirror
Remembering who can really hear her

Dreaming of herself
Doing whatever she wants
Sing at the top of your lungs, girl!
Forget the lies and foolish taunts

You look beautiful in my mirror
Never will she care who can hear her!


Just Melz
*Ana Sophia
Thank you Ana!  This was a great, bright piece to work on.  I had a lot of fun!
Just Melz Mar 2016
She lost her mind caught in a web of lies laced with deceit
Tangled in knots made of suicidal thoughts left on the concrete

She lost her heart in the aftermath of an unrequited love
With more passion and pain than she could ever have dreamed of

She lost her soul to a man she didn't know and can never get it back
Crying inside and constantly on the verge of an anxiety attack

She lost her faith in life with so little to show for all that she'd done
Burning all the bridges she'd carefully built, fading away from everyone
Just Melz Aug 2016
If the person you love
Is truly
Holding you up
Then there's no way
You could fall
For someone else
Just Melz Jan 2016
in love

Sometimes
You get hurt

Sometimes
You get caught

But either way

It never turns out
Like you *
thought
Just Melz Aug 2014
They grow.
Some on trees so tall
Some on bushes,  
So very small.

They fall.
Such a long way to the ground
Fluttering and floating all the way down.

They all die.
Such a pity how a beauty growing up high
Lives such a short life only to die.

They're remembered.*
When you think back to the beautiful summer,
You remember the colors covering the trees
Just think how dull the forest would be
Without all those *Leaves
Just Melz May 2015
I would travel all night
Just to see your face
Just Melz Jan 2015
Too many times
I've been pushed aside
     On the back burner
My whole **** life
         But I wanna be the fire
   That lights your soul
I want a raging, blazing
         Inferno
      Sparking flames
Making changes
        In the chemistry
   A little oxygen
       So I can breathe
A lot of hydrogen
     So you can believe
We're floating on air
        Particles you can't see
      Like love
It's a mystery
            A theory
   Of who's meant to be
And who's left suffering
         That's destiny
     I'm creating
Breaking
     Changing the flames
   Into ashes
And graves
      With no names
Just broken hearts
          On tombstones
     And no chance
*To restart
Just Melz Dec 2014
As we travel lifes long road
We meet and make new friends
And even though the friends may go
The friendship never ends

That is how it is with you
You gave me a fresh start
You gave me vision, you gave me hope
You touched and healed my heart

You gave me strength to do the things
You knew that I could do
You inspired me in so many ways
I can't begin to repay you

You're always there when I need you most
Somehow you seem to know
And that is why I hope and pray
Our friendship continues to grow
I found this in an old journal, I know the first stanza is a quote from a famous poet/person ( if you know the name please tell me) the rest, to be honest, I'm not sure if I wrote it or if it's all from that poet. I wrote it in my journal about ten years ago, so I'm really unsure. If you know, please tell me.

Update: The Original Author is
Kunal Badlani

I'd like to dedicate this to Frank, Adam, Jordan, Quin, Rose, Natasha, and Rino. Thank you all, for being my friends. I can't tell you how much it means to me.

I love you all.
Just Melz Nov 2014
I keep digging and digging and digging,
     trying to dig myself out of this hole
But it seems everything is collapsing around me
      burying me with my soul.
      This small shovel
  just doesn't seem to be enough,
     No one thought to tell me
         how life could be this rough
Now,
    I'm just getting deeper and deeper
        and deeper
    with my unwanted thoughts
This shall be my grave,
        but don't put any roses on top,
      I prefer **forget-me-nots
Just Melz Aug 2014
Such passion?
It's a distraction
I'd rather be focused and poised
Forget all the noise
Pay attention to the game
Cause you know we all play
Insider rules
There's nothing to see?
Like a diamond in the rough
It all makes jewelry
Think this game is about love?
Well maybe it once was
Now it's about self preservation
Just staying alive
Through destruction and devastation
Your game is a hard act to follow
Cause you think you always win
But I'm not about too wallow
In self pity or depression
I'm making new rules
And your not allowed to play
Remember how you walked in my life,
Nothing but words and lies?
It's no longer yesterday,
Forget tomorrow,
Because Today...
*You can leave the same way
Just Melz Aug 2014
A knocking...
Knocking on the door
Pick yourself up off the floor
I'm here for you
Open the door,  let me in
I'm your friend.

Been by your side through thick and thin
And as you've been there for me,  
Let me assure you
I'll never leave.

And you best believe
After all we've been through
The times we've cried,  laughed and held each other tight
And like this night when things grow dimmer for you
I'll be the light to help you though.

And I know you'd do the same for me
Although I pray and wish hopefully that my light stays bright
There will come a very dark night
I'll need you to hold my hand.

Although it may not be planned
One of these night I may not be able to stand
When I hear the knocking on the door,  
I'll let you in
And when you pick me up off the floor,  
I'll know I've found my best friend.
For Mandi Fallon.  My best friend.
I love you Mandi!
Just Melz Dec 2014
Here I am, just me
Crawling on my knees
Begging
Pleading
Teasing
Licking my lips
Can you see how badly I want you?
Can you tell my ******* are leaking through?
Do you want this as badly as I do?
Writhing
Panting
Salivating
Just a little taste of you, that's all I need
I'm on my knees, begging you, please
Just give it all to me
I wanna feel you inside me
Mouth
*******
Thighs
All of my orifices
Every inch of me, belongs to you
You own me, Do whatever you want to
Cause I promise, I want it too
Harder
Tighter
Passionately
Just give me everything
You can have all of me
I just need you badly
I'm burning for you
Sweetly
Erotically
Frantically
Please Baby
Just **** Me already
Just Melz Aug 2015
He loosened his hold.

He'd been hanging on for so **** long.

Finally, the realization hit after so many lies had been told.

He let go, knowing that it had always been wrong.

And it was a bold move, but the cold inside was suddenly removed.

He felt more free than he had in such a long while.

He slowly walked away, proudly showing off his freedom smile.
#7777 challenge, 7th book, 7th page, 7th line and 7 lines of a poem. My book was Gena Showalter,  'The Darkest Craving".  7th line on the 7th page was 'He loosened his hold.'
Just Melz Jul 2015
Running marathons through my mind
One of a kind
Time and time again
You keep playing this game
The rules always change
You're doing laps around the field
And I'm just your home base
A rest stop when you need to change lanes
Like I'm nitro for your ego
But I'm running low on oxygen
And you've had enough nitrogen
Keep scoring singles if you got to
But you're about to miss your chance
At a grand slam
Cause I'm scouting out a new partner
Who's playing the same game
That I am
Just Melz Sep 2016
Polished and refined,
With death I have found
A life below ground
A place I can call mine
Destruction and evil deeds
A breeding of pure hate
Is all that I can create
Out of all these heartless seeds

I punch them in
To the deep sullen dirt
Water them with vengeance
And a sprinkling of hurt
Tonight is the night
I find what dwells below
I don't have a key
But I can bargain with my soul
As I place it into these seeds
I am but reeds in the grass
I'm letting go
Only Heaven knows
The blackness of Hell's wrath

I plant my lifeless soul in this plot
To groom it as it grows
So slowly that nobody knows
It's the place the devil goes to rot
Watered with tears, warmed with fire
And as time stands still, never changing
This fruition of evil continues growing
Until the depths of hell can go no higher

Then it will bloom
A flowering gloom
Growing out of control
The ground will harden
In this here garden
Fertilized by my soul
Just Melz Dec 2014
I'm
             heartbroken
      by
                    someone
          who
                           never
                 really
                                 wanted
                         me
                                        anyways...
Isn't that hilarious?
Just Melz Mar 2015
The green and the gold
Worth more than you are ever told
But you're not so bold
Just Melz Nov 2014
Sitting in your car
    Parked outside my house
You had to leave soon
        But, it was so peaceful out
You kissed me so sweetly
           deeply
Then you asked me
     I saw it coming, honestly
Yet, I was still shocked
           And more than a little terrified...
     Mine?  Yours?
Belonging to one another?
        I wasn't sure how this made me feel
     So many doubts and questions,
Running through my mind
             I don't like admitting it
But you're really a rare find
               Honest, sweet and kind
   I'm not sure I feel as strongly as you do
         Cause we both know the past I've been through
     I think I'm gonna try
            For you
But you seriously gotta make an effort too
       I don't wanna do this alone
   I know you're busy
Just pick up the phone
         Make some time for me
You want me to be your girl?
         Then you gotta be my guy
But this whole thing terrifies me
      I'm not gonna lie
I'll NEVER cheat
           I'll stay faithful and true
    But seriously,
That's what you gotta do too...
        So, what's my answer to you?
     First, I have stipulations
I'm not a girl all about big DECLARATIONS
          I'm the poet, I'll do that
     But I gotta know you're with me
          That you got my back...
    I'm not afraid to admit
                 I need attention
       If you can handle that
           And my crazy A$$
   Then I'll be **all yours
True Story.
Just Melz Feb 2017
She sees heaven in his eyes
He sees a hell in her heart
Too many times she's been hurt
and torn all apart
He sees her suffering
She sees that he's trying
But something inside her
Feels like she's dying
She knows it's worth fighting
He knows how much she's struggling
Struggling with pain versus time
Never knowing if she'll make it through
Like she's blind, walking a twisted path
He guides her towards the truth
She falls behind, she's just too tired
He turns around, sees her lying on the ground
Adrenaline kicks in
He has to carry her out of this place
A heavy load to bare, he struggles through
He takes the weight on his shoulders
Pain, sorrow and a lifetime of despair
Knowing she's his one saving grace
He pushes on until he sees the light up ahead
The final stretch, but he feels heaven on his side
Wondering if he'll make it after how much he's bled
And how much he's cried
The bright light awakens her
She holds on tight, crying tears of joy
With a kiss and a laugh they move on together
Cause love is something even hell can't destroy
Just Melz Jun 2014
Lonely I sit here
Dried up tears
The pain I feel
Only my kids can hear

They ask me why
I don't know what to say
Why did Daddy leave?
Why couldn't he stay?

There's nothing in my heart
But pain and misery
Being left, not once but twice
Now I barely breathe

I ask myself
What did I do?
How could I change?
To be good enough
For either of you...

I'm high on sadness
And lonely in love
I just realize now
I'm not good enough...
Just Melz Nov 2014
~

Pain
    Might lessen
         Over
              time

But
       The memories
            Never
                 Fade

~
Just Melz Oct 2015
The worst thing in the world
you can do
is hurt a child...  
What hurts more
than being kept away
from someone you love?
I can only call where I live my home if my children are with me, otherwise it's just where I live. My life just isn't complete without them here. I hate him for what he's doing to me and them.
Just Melz Oct 2014
Gazing through this smoky haze
Thinking about you again
It's been awhile since I thought of you
       My dear old friend        
I needed you then
Last night...                          
When my mind began to spin
I was beginning to lose touch with reality
I read some of my old poetry        
Bringing up some old memories
Pictures and videos too.      
But that didn't help me
I simply needed you                
I've heard it called destiny
And I can see that smile in my mind
So very clearly
It's been awhile my old friend
Since I've needed you again
But last night              
When my head began to spin
I retraced the pattern of my soul within          
I was disappointed to trace over you once or twice
Oh! How nice it would have been
If I'd never grabbed that knife          
That you deliberately stuck in my back dear friend          
If I hadn't, I'd never have known it was you
I could've died peacefully            
Never knowing your love was through
But I did grab it, I did turn around
Now you're laying there
Still sliced up on the ground
My dear old friend
Inside my soul                              
Is the last place left you can still be found
Another interesting yet dark dream....
Just Melz Jan 2015
There's nothing I'd like more
Than to just be happy
I don't even know anymore
Just Melz Sep 2014
It's all just a trick of the light
Never really wrong or right
Like, last night?
We let "love" take control
You entered my soul
Damaged my mind, but I didn't care
I wasn't really there and neither were you
Just a few drinks, the night was through

I remember it all clearly
How your eyes danced like poetry
Your lips tasted like sweet red wine
I was addicted, said "you're mine!"
You said I was yours too,
But I know that's not really true, so do you
The truth is,  I didn't really love you

I know you don't love me
But in that moment
Our bodies made poetry
So beautifully outlined, flowing and rhyming in perfect harmony
Such a simple little melody

This morning came fast,
Knowing that moment had passed,
We knew it wouldn't last,
Getting dressed fast
Sharing a quick little smile
All the while thinking that for a few moments it was great
What was it, our second date?
Not my usual style

A few drinks and "love" took hold
We lost all control
I showed you my soul,  
Too drunk to care, barely even there
Last night?
It wasn't wrong, but it didn't feel right
That poetry in your eyes?
Must have been a trick of the light...
I had a dream last night (after a few beers) about an unknown man, this is loosely based on that.  Enjoy. :)
Just Melz Dec 2014
Ugly
Unwanted
Heartbroken
Emotionally Abused
Betrayed
Unloved
Disgusting
Unworthy
Lonely
Depressed
Fat
­Helpless
Pained
Stupid
Crazy
Insane
Jealous
Withdrawn
Old
Confuse­d
So **** Hurt
Hopeless
Utterly Miserable

I feel the already torn pieces of my heart
Shredding inside my chest, falling apart
Floating slowly down to the floor
It's deja vu, I've seen this happen before
Each time there's less and less pieces
To struggle putting back together
But I got some super glue somewhere
The puzzle of love, literally in my hands
Almost nothing left for when I get my "forever"
And I'll truly never understand
How this keeps happening to me
Time after time
Don't worry though
I'm sure the glue will work *
just fine
Just Melz Aug 2014
I know you can't see
But there's scars on your heart
You've been deceived
And I know it's hard
But you need to just breathe
Take that deep breath and let it out slow

I know you can't know
But there's scars on your soul
You've been kicked while your down
And I know it's hard
But you gotta pick yourself up off the ground
Stand up tall and for now...  
Just close up your heart

I know things look like too much
But there's scars on the truth
You're been lost in his touch
For far too long
And I know it's hard
But you gotta stay strong
Hold yourself up for now
Something better will come along
Just Melz Oct 2014
I love that magestic look in your eyes
Blows my mind to see you staring that way
The design,
flaws,
curves,
every part of your face
I dont want it to fade away
Ever.
Your body lying next to mine,
Devine.
With your curves
closely curved into me
Another half to my whole
Completely enrapturing my soul
I wake up from a nightmare,
Middle of the night,
You're there,
holding me tight.
It's so hard to let you go
But your body is starting to get cold
People have started to wonder
where you are,
I'll keep you close though,
I already dug you a hole in the back yard...

Just Melz Jul 2014
I'm a woman
I can shout
I can scream
Without a doubt
I'm soft
And sweet
Emotions galore
Can't be beat
I see all
I feel more
I'm smart
I keep score
I remember
I try to forget
About that day
We never met
I hear all
I see your heart
And I wanted it
From the start
I am broken
I am confused
I've been beaten
Abandoned and used
I'll get tough
I'll stay strong
and never forget
That you were wrong
Just Melz Dec 2014
Rock-a-bye
Rock-a-bye
Baby can't you see?
Momma wants to cry
When you're away from me
I miss your little smile
Your little kisses and laughs
Momma's been sad for awhile
Ever since you left my arms last

Rock-a-bye
Rock-a-bye
Baby can't you hear?
Momma just wants to hold you
Forever keep you near
All the winter nights through
I miss your all your tiny little toes
How you're so ticklish everywhere
Momma cries when you leave, everyone knows
Just how much I really care

Rock-a-bye
Rock-a-bye
Baby don't you know,
Momma is lost without you*
Oh! How I miss you so!
Momma just doesn't know what to do
I miss you so much
I know it's hard, please stay tough
My precious little Angel
Momma can't hold you soon enough
But when I do, I'll be eternally grateful


I Love You Baby Boy
My ex is keeping my kids away from me for too long sometimes and I just miss them so much, especially my little baby boy, he' ll be two next week.
Just Melz Dec 2014
I'm just an American girl
With a North Carolina soul
A Greek spirit
Two Egyptian eyes
A Tennessee heart
Spanish lips
A Southern body
An Italian attitude
A Washington mind
Three beautiful children
A Texas love
A little New York social skills
And a California childhood
There's basically everything you need to know about me. This is based on the idea by MF and her poem titled "Location". Thx. :)
Just Melz Jun 2015
Just because
I don't have the right
To be jealous
That doesn't mean
That I'm **not
Just Melz Feb 2015
Happiness
      Is bound
          By light
   In a cruel,
               **dark

       World.
And yet...  Nothing is impossible...
Just Melz Apr 2016
I'm scared of the future
Because
Love
and the unknown
Are more terrifying
Than anything else
I could possibly
**Imagine
Just Melz Feb 2015
Fill my cup
     with your scent
   Let me drown
           in your essence
               I'm dying
           of thirst
And you're the only
      sustenance
On which
      I can thrive
   And finally
        *Feel alive
Just Melz Sep 2014
The next time you hold in your hands,
The tiniest little grains of sand
Think of how precious the smallest things can be
Like diamonds, or newborn babies feet.
Then think of the world as a grain of sand
Tiny, precious, and in someone else's hands
If we're lucky, they'll lay us gently back on the beach.
If not, by tomorrow we'll be within the tides reach.
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