There's just something* about the way the light shines off *your eyes like emeralds in their purest form just dug out from the ground.

There's just something in the way the words flow off your tongue like the wide array of colors that flowed off of Picasso's brush onto his canvas.

There's just something about the slow and steady movements you make in life, like it's a game of chess but you're the knight,  I'm the Queen and you're always a dozen moves ahead.

There's just something in your smile that radiates laughter, hope and joy like it's the sun and if we all didn't see it at least once a day, we might just **wither away.

"You can't really love someone you've never met."


          He's the first thing on my mind
   when I open my eyes,
             the last thing I think about
    before I go to sleep,
           he's in my thoughts all
    the moments in between,
his face takes away the nightmares
             and fills all my dreams.
       *How is this not love?

There's an ice storm in my brain,
        my thoughts
                     are sliding
                out of control,
         there's a fire in my chest,
                        making ashes
          of what's left of
                     my soul.

He didn't, and that was that.

There's no going back and erasing the past.

Life's too short not to forgive and forget.

Sometimes, there's just no time to justify where everything went wrong.

Time is a battle, a war you won't win, but you gotta push along.

Keep moving forward, you can't change the past or make it come back.

He didn't, she didn't, they didn't. It's time to accept and be okay with that.

Love,
          
         You bring out the *worst
                  and best in us...

I wanna hold your hand all night

I wanna kiss you until I melt into your very soul

I wanna undress you with my eyes until the image of your perfection is embedded in my memory

I wanna be in your arms until I can feel nothing but you and the darkness that surrounds us becomes all we know

I wanna make love to you until the sun rises on us and we're blinded by sweat and high off the fire that sparks every time we touch

I wanna fall asleep in your embrace, secure in the knowledge that I am loved.

I wanna wake up next to you until...

Forever.

I wanna be with you until...

Eternity.

I dont care about signing the divorce,
I've already told you that.
All I want is my kids,
more than just a few measly weekends,
I want them to not call her mommy,
I want my kids to learn from me,
I want my kids to know that I love them,
I want my kids to not be used as pawns
in your battle to hurt me.
I want my kids to not get hurt by this war
that you are starting with your arrogance
and inflated ego,
I want my kids to not be emotionally abused by you.
**I WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE THEIR MOTHER

My body

       Intertwines with yours,

               There's nothing

I love more*.

I just want to be known
I need to be heard
I just want people to remember my name
I'd love to make a difference
     in at least one person's life
I would like my words to resonate within
         at least one soul
I'd love for my rhymes to be the flow
    in which at least one heart beats
I need my life to mean something
I want my poetry to matter
        To anyone
          To  everyone
              To somebody
   To at least one single person

I wish
    I knew
       how
To mend your
            heart
   So you could
Start
       Mending mine....

I wish
     I knew
         how
  To show you
      you're worth
    Loving
       So you could
Start
       Loving me...

Regretting Some Past Mistakes
Realizing what's actually At stake
Feeling so helpless and confused
So many memories of your abuse
Screaming, kicking, punching
Just too much fighting
You always knew the best ways to hurt me
Now you wanna take away what means everything
Like your final play to torture me
For eternity
What right do you have to judge me?
To look down upon me?
I am only all that you've made of me
This so called monster that you love to hate
Is just the manifestation of what you helped create
You WILL regret this
In the end, you will lose
I won't let you win, not again
They'll realize what you're trying to do
Remembering the years of abuse
And they'll HATE you
You can never destroy a mother's love
Although I know you're willing to try
When I win this battle for what I hold dear
Don't come crawling to me with tears in your eyes
Cause I won't be here

I would happily suffer
   because of how much I love you
I will put myself through misery
    just so you feel no pain
I would walk on flames
     and put them out
         so you can walk through
I will drive myself insane
     so you can have no part of the blame
I just wanna believe
        that you love me
               that much too

Sometimes
        The
    Hardest
       Part
    Of *Life
             Is
    Never
    Knowing
       *Why

It's there,
           in that Treasure Chest
Locked up tight,
          next to my bed
I don't know who has the
                     k e y
At night,
             I can hear it inside
It's not too loud,
        but it whispers to me~
                    "let  
                           me
                                out"
I do not cry,
but I say to it very gently~
           "I have
                    to wait
                            for the
                                    key"

When someone finds it,
          Will you let me know?
My heart's still
          b e a  t i n  g
            in that treasure chest
Although it's been broke
                It's wants to be
                              f r e e
          So please,
    Help me unlock my broken heart that's been torn all
                         a  p ar  t
     Release it back into me,
            So I can love,

             B
                       r
                              e
                               ­     a
                                         t
                                           h
                                           e
             and
Finally be free...  

*Do
      you  
           have
                  the
                      key?

Consumed by a life
    She couldn't handle anymore
          Ashamed by desires
       Too desperate to score
               It's just too addicting
   She wants nothing more
Watching everything she loves
            Walk out the door
    Finds money where she can
         But still living life poor
          Too smart to get too involved
     And too dumb to ignore it
             She don't even care
      They all call her a *****
Now thinking, as she sees the knife
           This isn't what she prepared for
    But with a little thought, she knows  
It's what she's always had in store
              As she lays, bleeding out
     On her ****** kitchen floor

white knuckles
tighten my grip
can't lose control
hold my breath
hold it all in
do not let go
I cannot snap
close myself off
count back from ten
let my mind get lost
I cannot let it happen again
feels like the edges
are all coming undone
tiny cracks splintering
knuckles loosening
thoughts raging
I can feel it now
the anger
it's blossoming
showing its ugly face
can't control what I do next
I tried holding my breath
but I don't have any oxygen left
I don't know what you've heard
but if you say one more word
it will be with YOUR last breath

Little bird sitting in a tree
Why are you staring at me?
Do you sing that sad song
Because you can see my pain?
Can you tell?
Am I that obvious?
Does the pain radiate off of me?
Little bird,  you're my only friend.
No one else knows,  
No one else can see.
Only you little bird,
Can see right through me.
Do you know why I cry?
Can you make it go away?
Sing a happy song little bird,
Just to brighten my day?
Take away some of the pain?
Oh,  little bird
Not even you can make me smile.
Little bird,  
Why do you sit there all day,
Staring at me?

No,  little bird!
Don't fly away!


Little bird,  
You've left me all alone.

"Being lonely
In a crowded room"
You've heard that expression,
Have you?
Well, it's so much more than that.
It's down to your core,
To your very soul.
Never having more
Than the thoughts you already know.
No hand to hold
No one there to hug
No voices around
Except the voices in your head
Laying alone in a big empty bed
Sleeping all the way on the edge
Saving room for...
The "one" you think will never show
No friends to call
Knowing no one will be there
Falling deeper and deeper
Into despair
"Lonely in a crowded room"
That's just the beginning
When your still lonely in your head
The voices stop
Your every thought is dark, death...
Let me just tell you..
You think you're lonely?
Think of that empty grave
No room to scoot to the edge
No crowds to even feel alone in...
I promise you
There's nothing more lonely
Than dead.




Think about it.
I've felt this way, I don't know how,
But I've managed to pull through
I'm sure that YOU...
Well, you can too.

I see you there, staring into her eyes,
Like she completes you.
For a moment you were mine,
Maybe that's not true
But that came to a bitter, cold end.
I'd like to say you were my friend,
Well, for a time you were,
But she became yours,
My mind you tortured.
Lies and hate, your future.
Yet, you still stare into her eyes,
With that look of bliss upon your face.
I close both your eyes, on my floor.
Regretting getting blood all over the place.

I Love You
       **Hello Poetry

Ever so changing like a rhyme
              Color
                    Never
                           Bound

Falling down one at a time
              Going
                    Sinking
                           Ground

Shivering alone, not really seen
              Cold
                    Lonely
                           Freezing

Waiting for what cannot be foreseen
              Counting
                    Faith
                           Believing

Distant thunder calls for rain
              Dripping
                    Dropping
                           Crying

Inside feeling nothing but pain
              Never
                    Stop
                           Trying

As the seasons change, so does the weather
               Spring
                     Summer
                            Fall

Love keeps all things together
               Emotions
                     Conquer
                             *All

There's a door
In life
Its open to all
Who wish to walk through
It leads to happiness
And a better you
But to get to the other side
There's a decision to make
A choice to decide
Sometimes there's a sacrifice
Sometimes there's pain
But in life
Without losing there's no gain
It's give and take
It's love and loss
Just a random gamble
Gotta give the dice a toss
Because in the end
It's not what you had
Or the money you made
It's what in your heart
Even after your body fades
With every scary part
And every gory detail
Doing what feels right
Decides wether you win
Or fail

Walk through the door
Get to the other side
It's worth it all
Forget your **** pride
Choose happiness
And true morality
Nothing means more than family
Love and loyalty

Lust
       On
            Fingertips
                      Is Better
            Than
       Love
From
        *Lying Lips

"Cradle my emotions in the gentlest of whispers"* ~~ *Ryn



Hold me
Tenderly
Make me feel something
Be gentle with me
I've been hurt lately
Despair courses through me
Depression
Regret, guilt
Can you help me?
Don't just tell me
What I want to hear
Tell me what you really feel
Take away the fears
Don't scream
Tell me softly
Whisper in my ear
The beautiful things
I need to hear
Make me feel something
Cause lately
All I've felt is...





Absolutely nothing

I just want him to reach within my soul
and try to grasp all the pieces that make me whole.

The sky is such a deep beautiful blue
It makes me think of you
Knowing that it's your favorite color
The stars are shimmering just right
Like the twinkle in your eyes, so bright
Thinking of the coming night makes me wonder
How could a simple color change my mind?
Who in the world said that love is blind?
Seeing the blush in your cheeks when you smile
How you know what I'm thinking by looking in my eyes
How you can see through my disguise and little white lies
Dreaming of your laugh lines drives me wild

So, as I walk towards my life late at night
The sky becomes a deeper midnight blue
And there's nothing I've ever seen in your eyes
That could ever make me stop loving you

I
    Keep
Clawing
       Away
   But
        You're
   Still
In
     My
  Head

Little boy, fussing in my arms
Why won't you sleep?
Baby boy,
Do you know who you are?
What kinda things will you dream?
Mommy's little man, growing up before my eyes
I remember when you were born,
The smallest of my three
I thought your sisters were tiny
Then I saw your precious little feet
Now I hear those feet running through the house
With everyone you meet, you look to me and smile
I can see that mischief in your eyes
Oh baby boy, how I love to hold you tight
Whisper how things will all be alright
Even now as you fuss and squirm
I can see you slowly drift off
I imagine what you will dream
The last thing you see
Is me smiling at you
As you finally go to sleep

My reprehensible mind
       Slipped you into my dreams last night
    You were there for me
         Cared for me
               Said you were mine

     I cannot say
           I did not enjoy this dream
While it was happening
      It's been a long time
Since I've even thought about you
       But when I realized your words seemed true
    My dream took a turn
                Something morbidly new

      I said the things I wanted to say
          Instead of just saying sorry
And... "It's okay"
         I cursed and I screamed
    I put you down the way you always did me
               I broke your fragile, pathetic heart
       Tore your soul apart

             I was so cruel,
     Yet, I still never reached your level
       With what you did to me
   You'd have made friends with the devil
         I was an angel in comparison
   Enjoying my first little taste of sin

    God, how I loved watching you crumble
                    And fall
          Made me feel larger than life
To make you feel useless and small
          All the times you pushed me down
             Watched me laying,
        Crying on the ground
    I finally had my turn
          How do you like me now?

This may make me seem
         Like a terrible person
     But... I Don't Care
            My dream made me smile
       You weren't there
               You didn't see
All the terrible, painful things he did to me
      
      When I woke up,
   I was finally able to laugh at the past
           Like I never was before
     Truly Enlightening
                 A new beginning
  I'm not in pain because of him anymore
       And *I never will be again

Caressing my legs open
Lingering my fingers on my thighs
I feel my own wild anticipation
I feel the heat of your eyes
Already tasting my body
But you can't have me yet
I'm tracing the lines
Of my ****** poetry
Down the length of my body
"Harder, Faster"
Written on my thigh
"More please"
Outlined on my neck
"I like to tease"
Traced on my arm
"I wanna be loved"
Covers up my heart
"Just take me now"
Drawn straight down
Ending at my.....

Nature has no poverty, wanton destruction or hatred
For she is nature
Man rips out the beating heart
With every saw cut and bite of Axe
With ever searing brand
That lights the fire of mans destruction

Humans, with their materialistic ways
Slowly draining away my beauty
It's almost the end of my days
Can't they see,
What every flower, river and tree,
Means to me?
I'm the mother of all nature
And my loves flows pure
But soon my love for life
Will no longer endure

You are the rain forest
The beating heart of life
And yet how long can you take the wounds
Caused by my lust and greed
Your heart, your beaten bleeding heart
For every drop of your precious blood
Humanity must die

You purposely destroy me
Use me
Cut out my heart, bleed me dry
Leaving me bare
Then walk away as I cry
Without a care
This is not new to me
Been happening for centuries
I think I've had enough now
I'm bringing a flood to watch you drown
Then a hurricane to bury you underground

Nature was placed here to serve me
You are neither master nor lord
And you serve in humility for the betterment of man
But I, I'VE
Chosen to use and abuse what you offer
It's not for me, the delicate surgeons cut
More the slash and hack
Of the untrained butcher
Me, oh me who drains the life blood from this earth

You deserve no more of what I can offer,
I will rain hail of fury upon my precious ground
Simply to watch you suffer
With all living things, I'm naturally bound
But I will destroy the soul of me
Just to watch you die with no mercy
I AM MOTHER NATURE
You will fear me
Bow down to me
Respect me
Care for me
Or you WILL all DIE in misery
Maybe next time, humanity,
You will choose how you treat me more carefully.

I don't typically get inspired by flowers or trees,
But sometimes,
I'm moved by the way the wind breathes through the leaves.

I'm not usually hypnotized by beaches or the ocean,
But every now and then,
I feel a connection to the waves, how they crash, over and over again.

I can't say I'm always motivated by music or a catchy beat,
But occasionally,
A song plays and I can't help but get up and move my feet.

I haven't felt inspiration in many things before
But today I realized,
You captivate me, draw me in, every day, more and more.

Your voice, your smile, your eyes, even all your bad moods,
All the time,
You inspire me to write, to laugh and to simply DO.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...
You're my muse.

And I love you.

You come to me quietly
A whisper I barely hear
Thoughts in my mind
Suddenly you disappear
I relish your return
Whenever it may be
You take me by surprise
Your truth a mystery
You have a hold over me
Such is beautiful ecstasy
I understand your want
To be held in my soul
And you know I need you
I'll never let you go
You give me strength
To put thoughts to paper
You've watched me grow
You've made it easier
Everyday,  you're there
Staring at me
Wanting me to express you
My lovely poetry

I NEED YOU. HAVE I NOT MADE THAT CLEAR? I WANT TO HEAR SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS WHISPERED IN MY EAR. I WISH I WASN'T WRITHING FOR A DRINK OR A DRUG TO CLEAR MY MIND OF ALL THE ***** THOUGHTS YOU LEFT BEHIND. TOO MUCH TO HANDLE? UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!!! I NEED YOU, BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO NEED ME.*

*please

Mystery, slow and steady
As I watch the stars take form
Powerless in this shell
But at least it's kept me warm
Concealing the outside world
From me, just a scared little girl
With no thoughts of bravery
Or curiosity to wonder about the storm
As lightning strikes
Through the scars in my eyes
And imagined tears take form

Tunneling through the hole in my brain
Trying to find a spot in which you still remain
Getting lost continuously along the way
Finding old memories,
Some dreams previously lost to me
Leaving my thoughts in disarray
If only I could find you, you'd say
'Take my hand, I'll guide you home
And never lead you astray'
But that destiny is clearly lost to me
And deep inside, I start to pray

My thoughts form like raging waters crashing on the shore
Deep, moving fast, like a gun blast, then quickly dying down until they are no more
Telling me what's truly on my mind, then disappearing after showing me what to find
Squeezing out details from the far corners of time,
Subconsciously thinking of a new way to rhyme,  
Knowing all along,  the truth behind my thoughts that I mysteriously put into song
Is it wrong, that my thoughts strangely have the same tune
As every depressing country song that puts me in a bad mood?
It's a serious notion, to think there's no magic potion to put a smile on my mind
Yet, there's always one person in my life, truly one of a kind
Who's jokes and antics run my misery to the ground, turning that frown around
And knowing all the time what my thoughts are, making sure that a smile isn't too far.

My three children,  my world

My first baby girl,  Krystalyn
Strong willed and full of heart
She's quick on her feet
And for just six,  she's very smart

My other sweet little girl
She's an angel,  my Klairety
Five years old,  so innocent
And nothing compares to her beauty

And my precious little baby boy
One and half,  always with a smile
So curious,  and so full of joy
KJ makes everything worthwhile

My three children,  my world
To me they are everything
I love them more than life
I love them more than anything

My three children,  my world

I'm coming for you,
better run and hide,
found you,
thought you were sly,
make you hold me tight,
all night,
don't cry it will be alright,
I'll make it feel good,
I'll make it nice
maybe add some spice,
make you whimper and beg,
please,
Biting down, blow and squeeze
I'll make you scream,  
till you want more,
on the floor?
Top, bottom, doesn't matter,
don't flatter yourself,
I'll give you a dollar,
holla!
Look so good,
so fine you'll be mine,
its a crime how your kind
But I'll make you see all of me,
turn you over shake you down
turn you around,  
be true
*to the monster I made of you

YOU
  are no more me
    than I am
       *MYSELF
Yet,
    you
      think you know
   *me
         like the back of your hand
   or the words you write
       or the rhymes you create
YOU
      might think you know how I feel
         or what I think
            or what I've done
    but
        you
will never understand my SOUL
    or the inner workings of my mind
So,
     you
         can go choke on the words you write,
     the songs you sing
and the hearts you steal
       because
YOU
      can never have my life

Love is a
     shooting star...
It's rarely there
      Never
     seen for very long
Beautiful
           Always
              so far away
       And yet...
  You keep
          wishing on it

There's no hope in a mountain of regret
         Yet,
             we keep on climbing
    And piling it higher
                and higher
     Hoping to reach the top
                Knowing all we'll see
    Is the smoke floating
           from bridges we've burned
     And a  t r  a   i   l
                  of mistakes
   Leading to the lessons
             we thought we learned
     But regret has a funny way of sneaking up on you
            Thinking you're in the clear
     Making a run for it
Then smashing right into
       that MOUNTAIN you built out of fear
    Looking back is easier than looking ahead
           Cause there's nothing left to fear
            If you're *already dead...

The intensity you scream
         is a hard pill to swallow
The density of your brain
         makes you hard to follow
Like wading through a creek,
         your mind's so shallow
Skimming through the mud,
         your thoughts have no flow
Up river without a paddle,
         now you got nowhere to go