there's a special grace about the way it flows
in and around, back again
with a certain sound, there it goes
twisting through to the end

It's a blessing and a curse,
    this connection that we share
A balance between the love we feel
        and how much we should care

Can you feel the ache in my chest?
Can you touch the cracks in my heart?
Can you tell where my soul begins,
And where it's been torn all apart?

I'm made of sharp edges and pieces fit with super glue
Can you feel it?
I'm a heartless enigma and a soulless slice of truth
Can you feel it?
Enemies make the best friends and now I hate you
Can you feel it?

Lies are like a bullet to my heart, filling me with holes
A feeling of emptiness overwhelms me, a space too bold
Trying to hold on tight to a tangle too tied to unfold
Lost in a web of pain too damaged to be controlled

I'm made of broken glass, chipped and shattered
Can you feel it?
I'm an empty shell of something that once mattered
Can you feel it?
Pieces are falling, a love now bruised and battered
Can you feel it?

The harmony of injustice is ringing in my ears
A lullaby of sweet nothings and my childhood fears
A common trend unfolds, a chorus of chants and tears
A pain ripples through my body and the monster finally appears

Can you feel it?

I wanna hold your hand all night

I wanna kiss you until I melt into your very soul

I wanna undress you with my eyes until the image of your perfection is embedded in my memory

I wanna be in your arms until I can feel nothing but you and the darkness that surrounds us becomes all we know

I wanna make love to you until the sun rises on us and we're blinded by sweat and high off the fire that sparks every time we touch

I wanna fall asleep in your embrace, secure in the knowledge that I am loved.

I wanna wake up next to you until...

Forever.

I wanna be with you until...

Eternity.

Catastrophic calamity
Souls made of blasphemy
On the down low
The World as a whole
Had turned to anarchy
And it's a shame there's no name
For all this antirelgious hate
Spreading across the world
Like a facebook game
Everyone looking for a high score
All in the name of fame

She sees heaven in his eyes
He sees a hell in her heart
Too many times she's been hurt
and torn all apart
He sees her suffering
She sees that he's trying
But something inside her
Feels like she's dying
She knows it's worth fighting
He knows how much she's struggling
Struggling with pain versus time
Never knowing if she'll make it through
Like she's blind, walking a twisted path
He guides her towards the truth
She falls behind, she's just too tired
He turns around, sees her lying on the ground
Adrenaline kicks in
He has to carry her out of this place
A heavy load to bare, he struggles through
He takes the weight on his shoulders
Pain, sorrow and a lifetime of despair
Knowing she's his one saving grace
He pushes on until he sees the light up ahead
The final stretch, but he feels heaven on his side
Wondering if he'll make it after how much he's bled
And how much he's cried
The bright light awakens her
She holds on tight, crying tears of joy
With a kiss and a laugh they move on together
Cause love is something even hell can't destroy

I can see that light,
      burning in your eyes.
        It burns brighter when I'm around
          and I know you're there
   by your hearts beating sound.
          Like luminescent drums,
     your light beats for me
   and your soul can be heard and seen.
         And **I can finally see everything.

Dreaming of a new day
Hoping the past fades away
Never knowing the truth
Cause the lies always stay

Nightmares await my waking hours
And reality's dreams never really mattered
So I surround my self with a wall of glass
But the past crashed in and my faith was shattered

And that wall falls into a black hole of despair
Leaving my emotions exposed, naked and bare

Throughout this soundtrack that I call my life,
       your heart is the beat,
          your voice is the lyrics,
   your soul is the slow and steady rhythm,
             your kisses are the chorus
       and your face is the album art.
Without you,
  I would never hear music the same again.

Love* can conquer all
But so can *war
So be careful
What you wish for

It's dark tonight
And I cannot breathe
The hands of time
Are slowly choking me
Tick Tick
Watch the color
Fade from my face
Tick Tock
Watch my body
Fall through space
Caught inside
These hands of time
Losing my grip
Losing my mind
Tick Tick
Why can't I see
What these hands
Want from me
Tick Tock
I'm fading fast
This life is just a memory
That can never last

Ice* cold
Like my soul
     Growing older than old
  Melting away
         As the days get hotter
Why bother with the same things
      When everything changes
          And I can't escape the heat
   Of my heart as it finally feels
                   *Defeat

Polished and refined,
With death I have found
A life below ground
A place I can call mine
Destruction and evil deeds
A breeding of pure hate
Is all that I can create
Out of all these heartless seeds

I punch them in
To the deep sullen dirt
Water them with vengeance
And a sprinkling of hurt
Tonight is the night
I find what dwells below
I don't have a key
But I can bargain with my soul
As I place it into these seeds
I am but reeds in the grass
I'm letting go
Only Heaven knows
The blackness of Hell's wrath

I plant my lifeless soul in this plot
To groom it as it grows
So slowly that nobody knows
It's the place the devil goes to rot
Watered with tears, warmed with fire
And as time stands still, never changing
This fruition of evil continues growing
Until the depths of hell can go no higher

Then it will bloom
A flowering gloom
Growing out of control
The ground will harden
In this here garden
Fertilized by my soul

This path we all walk alone through our minds
Has the most comforting of hiding spots
Like the trees in nature all around us
We grow our thoughts
We branch out and reach for the horizon
We build up walls
To provide the shade and oxygen we need
To breathe
To have the silence we can only find within ourselves
To continue on this journey with a clear mind
We create ideas within this path
We travel on and bring as much beauty to the world as we can
And yet,
Sometimes the only comfortable solace we have
Is alone,
Just walking down this path

If the person you love
Is truly
Holding you up
Then there's no way
You could fall
For someone else

Lonely
In the corner
Staring into an abyss
       of pointless options
And all the edges
       in the world
Aren't sharp enough
       to cut through
The concrete wall
       surrounding her heart

Cold**
In a crowded room
Searching for an empathetic face
She sees the smiles
        filling the empty space
And it seems
        that no amount of joy
Is real enough
        to take the fears place

Will you watch me as I soar,
Stare into space as I disappear?
Will you love my memory,
After I'm no longer here?
Will you sketch an image into time,
And frame it on your wall?
When I finally fade away,
Will you catch me as I fall?
Is it too much to ask,
For you to float by my side?
Can you never let me go,
And if you fail, will you still try?
Can you take me higher,
Than just an endless journey?
Can you take me higher,
Than what you've already done for me?

Pain is a cloud of fog that's constantly following me, shadowing over my existence and the rain is steady pouring faster with each strike to my heart and every rumble in my soul.

Love is the shelter protecting me from the storm of heartaches that keep building and raging through the nights and with his arms around me, I'm in the safest place I know.

Today was my birthday

And I barely remember what I did
But I was surrounded by those I love

Today was my birthday

And I didn't get very many gifts
But what I got was just enough

Today was my birthday

And I didn't go anywhere special
But I was surrounded by those I love

**And it was just perfect enough

You are the
        window
              to my pain
  Cloudy with
            no chance of clarity
      I can see
               how far
away you are
                    Out of focus,
           still hurting me
                      *so easily

Two spiteful lovers in a raging battle
Fighting against the tides of war
Lost within themselves and images
Of the serenity from the ways of before
Not knowing how to come down from the high
Never needing much, just a little bit more
In love with the idea of opposites attract
Until it leaves them both lying on the floor

As raindrops slowly trickle down the window
              and expose a reflection of what
                   I used to know
   An image of the past that tends to haunt me pops out so clearly
                against the scenery
    And I can't complain about the hatred and pain
           brought on by the memory
              Cause
      the truth is I broke promises
          and I can't say I'm undeserving of the punishment
        As those raindrops turn to tears
   I realize all my fears
       must have been
          **heaven sent

There's no more time to spend
    On all the reality of things
         Because I've gone broke
      Listening to your crazy *dreams

There are moments in life where we were meant to struggle
Where the past and future collide in an epic battle
And though it may seem hard like you won't survive
There's always a reward when you get to the other side
Life has a way of only showing you what you need to know
You just gotta have faith in order to let yourself grow
And learn to trust in the people around you
That have proven how much they really love you
It may seem like an impossible dream
But with love anyone can do anything

There's nothing more romantic
          in my eyes
        Than holding your hand
   And talking about our lives
          Because in my mind
The only thing better than the fantasy
        Is the intimacy I feel
  When it's just you and me
            *connecting

She lost her mind caught in a web of lies laced with deceit
Tangled in knots made of suicidal thoughts left on the concrete

She lost her heart in the aftermath of an unrequited love
With more passion and pain than she could ever have dreamed of

She lost her soul to a man she didn't know and can never get it back
Crying inside and constantly on the verge of an anxiety attack

She lost her faith in life with so little to show for all that she'd done
Burning all the bridges she'd carefully built, fading away from everyone

The heart it leaves is broken and cracked
All that remains can't get itself it back
In the withering hours of the starless night
The tattered bits work hard to make themselves right
As the dark and cold winds blow across those feverish dreams
Pieces slowly get sewn but it's less effective than it seems
The air holds a certain mystique hidden under a scary mask
With feelings of pain and envy, and questions too difficult to ask

Every song you ever said was about me
I play on repeat
Singing along to all the words that hopefully still mean something
Titles and tracks that shuffle on a loop
Somehow constantly reminding me of you
And I can't seem to forget the words you wrote too
But what means the most
Is something only you can do
When you sing to me
And I can feel that every word is true

Like colors on a wheel
We compliment each other
We're complete opposites
Bringing out the best in each other
So rough around the edges
With a smooth consistency
Mixed with some clashed feelings
And a fine tuned delicacy

I just want him to reach within my soul
and try to grasp all the pieces that make me whole.

Mystery, slow and steady
As I watch the stars take form
Powerless in this shell
But at least it's kept me warm
Concealing the outside world
From me, just a scared little girl
With no thoughts of bravery
Or curiosity to wonder about the storm
As lightning strikes
Through the scars in my eyes
And imagined tears take form

Tunneling through the hole in my brain
Trying to find a spot in which you still remain
Getting lost continuously along the way
Finding old memories,
Some dreams previously lost to me
Leaving my thoughts in disarray
If only I could find you, you'd say
'Take my hand, I'll guide you home
And never lead you astray'
But that destiny is clearly lost to me
And deep inside, I start to pray

Seeing the flames
   Burning everything in there wake
             Taking my soul down too
   I can't take all this
       For God's sake
    Like a sidewalk massacre
Everyone has to stop and stare
        Watching all the blood drip
    But none of them really care
           Gotta get a grip
I know this life ain't fair
         Trying to balance my thoughts
    On a tight rope of razor blades
Getting sliced up on the inside
      No matter which choice I make
Whether or not I know they lied
           I'll always know they're all fake
   And it's a shame
           That it's always a game
     With no way to win
Or start over again
         Without being the only one to blame

The intensity you scream
         is a hard pill to swallow
The density of your brain
         makes you hard to follow
Like wading through a creek,
         your mind's so shallow
Skimming through the mud,
         your thoughts have no flow
Up river without a paddle,
         now you got nowhere to go

The worst thing in the world
you can do
is hurt a child...  
What hurts more
than being kept away
from someone you love?

Black and white dreams
Less conventional
            it seems
Yet,
         I still believe
That too
    many
colors
Can fade out
        the true meaning
And if
       I dream of death
Then it's *just
                   the beginning

I've built this wall around myself
To shield my heart from the pain
Like the caterpillar, I hide
Until I'm finally free to find
A love to fly with me in the rain

Consumed by a life
    She couldn't handle anymore
          Ashamed by desires
       Too desperate to score
               It's just too addicting
   She wants nothing more
Watching everything she loves
            Walk out the door
    Finds money where she can
         But still living life poor
          Too smart to get too involved
     And too dumb to ignore it
             She don't even care
      They all call her a *****
Now thinking, as she sees the knife
           This isn't what she prepared for
    But with a little thought, she knows  
It's what she's always had in store
              As she lays, bleeding out
     On her ****** kitchen floor

white knuckles
tighten my grip
can't lose control
hold my breath
hold it all in
do not let go
I cannot snap
close myself off
count back from ten
let my mind get lost
I cannot let it happen again
feels like the edges
are all coming undone
tiny cracks splintering
knuckles loosening
thoughts raging
I can feel it now
the anger
it's blossoming
showing its ugly face
can't control what I do next
I tried holding my breath
but I don't have any oxygen left
I don't know what you've heard
but if you say one more word
it will be with YOUR last breath

I love life too much
      To ever actually
                **** myself
Although, sometimes I wish
          I was dead
So, for now,
       I guess I'll just dream
   Seeing stars floating around
And softly put this pillow
            *To my head

I would happily suffer
   because of how much I love you
I will put myself through misery
    just so you feel no pain
I would walk on flames
     and put them out
         so you can walk through
I will drive myself insane
     so you can have no part of the blame
I just wanna believe
        that you love me
               that much too

I don't typically get inspired by flowers or trees,
But sometimes,
I'm moved by the way the wind breathes through the leaves.

I'm not usually hypnotized by beaches or the ocean,
But every now and then,
I feel a connection to the waves, how they crash, over and over again.

I can't say I'm always motivated by music or a catchy beat,
But occasionally,
A song plays and I can't help but get up and move my feet.

I haven't felt inspiration in many things before
But today I realized,
You captivate me, draw me in, every day, more and more.

Your voice, your smile, your eyes, even all your bad moods,
All the time,
You inspire me to write, to laugh and to simply DO.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...
You're my muse.

And I love you.

The image
Of your tongue
Gently caressing
My spine
While
You're pulling
My hair
From behind
Brings thoughts
To mind
That make
My heart race
And I'm sure
Nothing could replace
That emotion
As you trace
Little hearts
Down my chest
With your calloused
Fingertips
Or that look of lust
That appears
With every
Sway of my hips
Or how the sight
Of me
Licking my lips
Makes you
Lose control
And you
Don't even know
How often
These images appear
But for now
It's just dreams
Until you're here
Holding me
Touching me
Kissing me roughly
Squeezing me
Pounding me
Biting be softly
I just can't wait
Until these dreams
Become my reality