Intellectual stimulation from a twisted mind
Bringing life to the insanity I tried to hide
Cracking whips to break the chains, feeling death drip from my veins
Pouring poison down the drain from infections inside
Chasing rumors through the sewers, lost in tunnels of depravity; God's the only viewer but this show's not quite reality
Gravity scraped knuckles with me all the way down
A brute stuck in a boot loop asking me to drown
These restarts after crashes turned my synapses to ashes
Now I can't feel the rats in my cyber cerebral casket
Dead in the head and strapped into my bed
I dug at my wrists until I saw red
The doctors applauded at everything the gauze did
It still couldnt stop it so on it bled

This life has become more than I ever wanted it to be and the future looks even more hopeful as far as I can see.

Rose Nov 1

Last night I crawled inside my mind
and it is here I've decided to stay
harbouring thoughts that won't suffer
the scrutiny of observers
peering in with beady eyes

© Rose 2017
Rose Oct 24

Two trains running parallel –

I, the passenger

observing them, the passengers

for just a moment

before our trains part ways.

Panic rises in my chest

at the sudden, unexpected realisation

that I might never glance across

any of their faces

ever again.

I might never know their names,

their stories,

their hearts.

One brief glimpse of the eye

is all I get

before the train trundles away,

never to be seen again.

I am left

feeling hollow.

© Rose 2017
ryn Oct 23

Days with deficits
Let me give you what you need
Take all you can get

ryn Oct 31

Sticks and stones...

Thoughts are just
sticks and stones.

But words...
They break bones.

ryn Oct 23

You don't see my eyes...
They look away whilst my cheeks
and a band worn thin,
hold up this mask.

With effortless ease,
I maintain this smile
plastered upon the sheen
of cheap mouldable plastic.

Fooling others
with a face acceptable by default,
when my neck and collar
stain wet.

Protected and hidden
are my innermost thoughts
and emotions - a morbid
sense of oneness and freedom.

I, therefore, cannot shed
such an accoutrement.
This mask - a fort I will hold and
a bastion, I will not compromise.

Because behind it I feel safe, hidden
and unjudged.

ryn Oct 21

Inclined to wonder

If time is worth rewinding

To rewrite the past

ryn Oct 20

Dusting off the dirt
from my shoes well worn.

They've travelled far
and had tasted all manner
of earth.

Soles now parched,
and leather all beaten.

Eyes laced close,
scuffs and tears
crying for a mend.

Tongue lolled limp,
dislocated and misplaced.

These shoes,
they beg for a life
much different.

But these feet
knows and wants
the only ones
that fit.

ryn Oct 24

This time I have,
is but a gift.

Meant to heal
broken skin
and fractured bone.

But I realise
that there's more...

•••

What if,
repairing physical damage
is but a facet of
unanticipated tribulation?

What about...
Shattered thoughts?
Disjointed ideals?
Misplaced hopes?
Askewed trajectories?

•••

Maybe...
This time too is meant
to get my stars in alignment.

But right now there just aren't any...

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