Humans are brick walls
putting up a front
hard, yet not impossible, to break down
but if one gets it down
they've opened
a whole new world

Childhood is
summer nights spent playing outside with the crickets singing their song,
catching lightning bugs,
waltzing around sillily,
watching the Saturday cartoons,
fitting ring pops on your hand,
and begging your parents to let you stay up later than normal
Adulthood is
nostalgia of all these things aforementioned

You were the sudden taste of champagne on my tongue
you gave me a taste of my future
and gave me courage
making me explode with every feeling imaginable

You were the choker on my neck
restraining your emotions with a hint of humor
changing the past & making it present

You were the pencil in my hand
erasing everything I thought I knew about love and coming up with your own definition

You were the view from my window
giving me a peak into a curious, beautiful new world awaiting me the chance to explore

You were the fog after the storm
unknown & mysterious
causing me to wander

You were the puppeteer
putting on a show
with me as your puppet
only to leave within a matter of time

Books;
the very bearings of our souls
pages of emotions just dying to get out
the stories of our deepest secrets hiding in

Books;
form of communication passed through time
memories shared and people changed

Who knew some sheets with jotted down words could mean so much?

Why are girls compared to flowers?
We may be sensitive and sweet
But we are tougher than a diamond
We should be compared to
the wind
or the sky
so beautiful
& powerful
& necessary

Late night game shows droning on
Frozen pizza boxes on the counter
Eyes fixated on that glowing screen
Communication has come to a halt
Is this all we're living for?

Homework scattered on the bedroom floor
Laying in bed and sleeping till 1
Never seeing the light of day
Is this all we're living for?

Let's make a new beginning
You and I
Where the birds still sing
And we watch the sun rise
Let's step outside of our comfort zones
Before loneliness eats us up
Take away the materialistic dream of the world
And create our own masterpiece

I've lost my mind
in a sea of dreams
It's floating around with my hopes and things
The only time I can see to reach it,
is when the tide comes in,
and my creativity subsides,
If that's the cost for a normal mind,
I'd rather be mad

Angel in the garden
Won't you come and play?
Help us here to see more peaceful days
Send us up with illuminating flowers
Let harps ring in our heads for hours and hours
Be kind, dear, sweet angel
Release us from this morbid world
let us be free
in the place that reigns with love and grace

If we were soldiers
and our "love" the war
Why, there was nothing we were fighting for
Just empty air
and shouted threats everywhere
with awkward, distant stares

I yearn for something ever so strong
and adventurous
I want the feeling of
loving someone so much
that you just look at them
and think, "wow, I'm so lucky"
I feel like I could've had that
with you
If you'd stuck around longer
I guess circumstances really do change things

From the smooth, delicate texture of fallen rose petals
To the soft, gentle blow of the spring wind,
God knew what he was doing when molding the earth
Looks can be deceiving
It's a beautiful haven
filled with love
and kindness
and controversy
and hate
How could something so striking be so deceitful?
With beauty, comes a price
I will choose not to
conform to society or
accept the wrongs of the world
Culture doesn't own me
God does
and He is my reason to live on this
poisonously gorgeous earth
In hope of a perfect heavenly home later

I'm having writers block
& it's all because of you
I'm having writers block,
the words are leaving me,
and so are you,
you're the ink going out of my pen,
used to drip so passionately,
It's now empty, once again,
While this writers block has twisted my mind & jumbled my soul,
So have you,
and my heart still yearns for writing,
but I can't think clear thoughts with my suspicions of you,
so, I'm slowly letting you go,
my heart is peaceful,
my words are true,
writers block doesn't have a hold on me,
and neither do you

Mothers cried for their children to see
The threat of this nation and it's captivity
Liberty, life, and the pursuit of happiness
Was never the truth, you see

Although he may make your spine tingle and your stomach dance in its lonely pit, is it love?
Do you want to explore the wonders of his eyes for the rest of your life?
Do his lips make you want to kiss him all day long?
Does his voice put a smirk on your face?
Do you want to listen to his thoughts night and day?
Could his way with words put you to sleep like the sweetest lullaby?
So, just think
Before you give this person your life,
Make sure you want every single inch of them
Make sure they make you smile like you've never smiled before
And make sure that the love they give is as pure & effortlessly beautiful as a babbling brook

Some say karma is evil
but I believe jealousy is much worse

The best year of my life
It all blurs together
Into a seamless, funny film
It's an old film, a heartwarming one
There's static on the screen
There's soft French jazz in the background
I'm golden
You're golden
It's all golden
This is the only way I can see the past year
It was a massive wave of change,
A wave that brought you in,
And has kept you here
This has been the best year

12:00 a.m.
Now it's over,
And you're still here.

How can I take one day to celebrate my love for someone when one lifetime isn't even enough?

***** you
for making me think you would stay
(It's been over a year and I still miss you)
***** you for not checking up on me
(I desperately wish you would've talked to me)
***** you for flirting but never taking action
(I think you know it was more than that)
***** you for breaking my heart with nostalgic memories
(Every time I think of last year, you always seem to be in the picture)
***** you for staring at me the way you did
(Your eyes changed me and now when I see them I just want to run away)
***** you for holding back your feelings for me
(I thought for sure you would've done something by now)
***** you for messing with my heart
(Hearts aren't made to be broken, no matter how much people say they are)
Ha and for the curtain call
***** you because I still like you
(Ignoring me and all)

You
with your intriguing, snakelike lies
your cocophanous ragings
You
with your overused words
apparently I wasn't the only one
You
with your arrogant charm
making everyone feel special
when in reality
it's all a joke
a play
my oh my,
you were one of the best **** actors I've ever seen

In an odd way,
I'm glad you broke my heart,
and left me wondering,
because it made me realize the past is not to be lingered on
I'm living for today
and I'm moving on without you

Only fools speak that life is solely about being happy
for if life was for personal happiness,
no one would actually be happy
Life is about connections,
meeting strangers in odd places,
eating Chinese takeout while reading your favorite book at 2 in the morning
It's hard working days and sleepless nights
Sad days spent by yourself
The love of two broken people
God and his promise
The fresh smell of the first day of spring
Life is happy and sad
But in the end, it isn't half bad,
For these torn-up moments make us into who we are
You've come so far

There's a hidden paradox between
flowers &
death
When loved ones die,
we place living things on their graves
to soften the loss
Irony at its finest

This one's for the lonely
This one's for the proud
This ones for the sad at heart
This one's for the loud
This ones for the tired
This one's for the poor
This one's for the quiet
This one's for the happy
The ones who can be free
This one's for everyone
Including you and me
You see, we're all the same, dear
We all seek something more
So next time you start judging
Think down deep inside
We aren't that much different
You don't have much to hide

Let me go
Don't pretend you're holding on
when I see you are in love with her
You've already broken my heart
Just let me go

A contradiction.
An anomaly.
Representing everything I am and everything I want to be.
My passion in the afternoon, followed by my silence in the evening.
It'd take you a lifetime to understand me.

Submerged in rigorous waves,
Walking out among the decadent summer haze,
filled with peace and calm for the riveting scene in front of me,
But what do the crashing tidal waves really mean?
The world has a way of showing what we humans have done to it
Showing and telling really makes all the difference
Starting now, I will not be the one,
to take advantage of the magnificent sun,
or the bright crowded clouds,
or the misty afternoon rain,
For these are the epitome of beauty,
and technology is not,
so, I'm putting my foot down,
I'm refusing to let my mind rot
Beauty comes and goes
in mysterious ways
and some of its excellence,
is found on summer days

I've been given more clarity
with the heavy rains of life
than I have with days of
never ending sunshine,
some days I prefer the rain,
but most,
I long for the naive sunshine

So when you call that boy up and tell him you don't have a burning, smoldering love for him, come to me
We can talk and drink soda while sitting on the kitchen floor in the refrigerator light
When you've had more than you can take and you can't handle the path you're going down, I'll lead the way
We can share the road of pain and dance in the sun's golden rays
When you get a job you aren't satisfied with just for good money, speak to me
We can both bear the financial burden as you open your cage and follow your heart
The thing you mustn't ever do, my dear, is just settle
Don't settle for false love,
or a lifestyle,
or a job,
or a feeling
Find where you belong
I'll be there to help you on the way

Time is just trivial
and clocks are just toys
what's really pivotal
is that we enjoy
the life we are given
is not meant to be rushed
time is a heathen
and clocks make us mushed
mashed up vegetables
with no sense of reality
can't you see
we aren't what we are meant to be

I'm not one for boys who whisper sweet nothings into my ear & pass another girl & do the same thing,
I'm not a package
You can't ship me away when you get tired of me

It doesn't make sense
You left me entangled in your lies
Without a goodbye
Only a "let's be friends"
As you jumped right in the dating pool with another girl
But somehow
No matter how much you hurt me
Part of you is kept in my soul
And part of me still wants you to come back

I'm afraid
that one day the sun will come up
and the shadows will appear
Mocking me as distant wishes in the light
Casting their gloomy glow on my wanderlust
And making everything I thought to be true, seem like a lie
As the air that I breath could be miles from home
The shadows will taunt me and make me feel alone
The place that I longed for might no longer be there
And is possibly replaced with an inhumane city love affair
The shadows, they warned me, it was too good to be true
But the shadows trail behind me everywhere I go
With the goal of keeping me dissatisfied
But the only goal they've attained is loneliness

I said you were a weakness
I said you were a drug
And you could cure a lifetime of sadness with one of your hugs
I said that you were different
I said you understood
But now I see, you never could
I said that you were truthful
You said you wouldn't let go
But even with that promise
I feel you drifting farther so
I fear that I must go
I don't do little heartbreaks
I do full on emotional lakes
so I take back what I said
every single word
I can move on within time
I'm independent
I'm self assured
Haven't you heard?

You were found in my ignorances

The things I chose not to see in myself,
you found in me

This contagious, spontaneous, fun house walk-through, reflecting only the compassionate parts of us two

I remember fingers entwined
Your hands pushing back my hair
Your heart running a race against time

A dust storm in your eye that would later leave me bereft of you
A gentle thumb rub that gave me a momentary epiphany causing me to hope in you and God too

The rush
Our feet fighting the fear of missing a step
Avoiding the evident chance of falling

You led me down those narrow stairs
Where every breath of destiny seemed to be calling
And it still is
Come back to me

Fragile hands,
Weathered and cracked,
Grasping onto the neck of the swan
They are tough,
Yet, all the while, their reach is gentle,
And they glide with the swan to the pond’s lively middle

Up

Up they go

   Ricocheting off the dancing beads of
      water
    
       doing the tango,
          
         the salsa,

            and, at last,

               ballroom.

His voice was muffled

He rang,
I answered

Each word he said came with a crackle and the loss of a letter

To me, it didn't matter that I couldn't hear every word he said

To me, he spoke so I would I understand

And I did,
even through the distortion

And every time he spoke,
he meant 'I love you'

I wanted to say you guys wouldn't last
I know that was terrible of me
But I wanted it more than anything
I had this hope, that somehow, somewhere, it would happen
It hasn't been that long
but I don't want it to get any longer
and I know that it probably will
because you're "made for each other"
but what's the fun in being with someone predictable
you're a foreign country to me, and I want to explore

Enveloped by mixed emotions
Just put a stamp on me and mail me out
Maybe not

How beautiful the earth You made
and Your life You freely gave
all for our souls to save
and all the pain we deserved,
You mercifully took away,
What a price to pay,
Creator of life,
Giver of grace,
the King of Kings,
my Savior,
Peacemaker,
You rescued me,
so that I could be free,
how heavenly

You said that I was different
You'd never felt what you felt with me
You'd wait for me forever
And to think I almost believed you

You're sitting on your grandmother's porch
Eating watermelon
Spitting out seeds
While grandpa is reading the Sunday paper
You feel a stillness, a peacefulness
to the rolling earth around you
and you understand
You'll never be in that exact moment again
The South has a way of holding your heart in a way you wouldn't know
Always wanting to leave
But when you actually do,
You miss it more than you could even miss a person
It's the stigma of home

Raging through your flesh
making you feel anxious
picking through each part of your mind
suddenly you're frantic
making you lose your (little) bit of sanity
leaving you with insane memories
ripping your heart down an uneven line
leaves you wondering "Do they even love me?"
he's the monster that leaves a trail
he makes a difference on your life
he leaves you out to dry.... or die
it's survival of the fittest with him
                           Stress

Who are you
to pick on that person for things they can't change?
Who are you
to be so shallow & superficial?
Who are you
to not see the pain you cause with your words?
Who are you
to hurt the innocent?
Who are you
to hurt anyone?
Who are you?
Respect others
Spread love
We're all sisters & brothers
Share your thoughts,
while listening too,
this world wasn't made,
For just me or just you
It's a temporary home
That we can't take for granted
Because we will leave one day
And all that's left is what we've implanted
our thoughts & ideas
truly can change the world
everyone is a voice
waiting to be heard

Caught between
asking too many questions
while dreading the answers
or never asking questions
& letting the fear of ignorance take over

A daily riddle
Has come to mind
Where abstract words
Break an abstract mind
And things once healed
Fall apart
After the moon hits that mark
Thoughts are runny
Dilapidated ears hear harsh lullabies
But no baby cries
Just you and I
Cries fit for the night
The dubious night
The doubtful night
The dangerous night
Our night

Time is as real as we make it
      out to be in our minds
        time seems to be a
           metaphor for a
              controller
               *******
             the life out
        what is time really
     you're late, you're early
  the sand is running out quickly
the clock is sneakily ticking midnight

Overcome by debt,
Which my Heavenly Father paid
by hanging with my sins and sorrow
on a rugged cross

I pushed the nails into His hands as passionate, red blood flowed out
and I pulled down the crown of thorns farther into His head with every selfish deed I committed

By my regressions He died,
and when He was gone,
so was a part of me too,
for I was His & made brand new

When the cave could conceal Him no longer,
He rolled the stone aside,
He's alive! He's alive! He's alive!

By strength in him,
my stone started to move,
the sunlight began to appear,
I was dead no longer,
and I was alive in Him

This earth is a car transporting me to a joyous adventure
This place isn't my home
Not now,
not ever

These winter months are barren
with grief and nostalgic memories

As snow consumes the streets,
you consume my mind
Filling it up
and making me fall

The trees are naked and vulnerable
like you made me feel

We were a house without a roof,
a soldier without a shield

I should stay away from your poison
but the thought of you calls me back

I'm tired of waiting & letting life pass me by like a busy street with a neon road sign
I don't want to waste another day
Because these foolish infantile games are getting harder to play
No more sitting in front of the screen
I'll be working on my goals, if you know what I mean
Life's not a game for the weak or the sad
If you think of it that way, you'll end just as bad
So tonight I make my plans to start anew
(But who knows, by the time morning comes they may have fallen through)