Crazy really, to love blindly, when it takes squinted eyes to see

I don’t want to be a, “Good Person”
Or rather,
Not if you have to tell me,
I’d rather die,
Then hear someone tell me I’m nice,
You’re so nice,
You’re a good guy,
Gratefully with twinges of gluttonous ego I accept,
In spite of myself,
Perhaps I’ve been groomed to act,
Act nice to be complimented,
Act as a good artisan to appease all.

Humans never cease to appall me,
With ways to be unwarrantedly wareful,
And secretly subconsciously submergent,
So I remain watchful of myself.

When will this suspicion
Go into remission?
Splitting like nuclear fission
Is their miserable mission
So they poke and ****
Claiming I'm a fraud
Thinking they're my god
Which seems kind of odd
Because they know so little
And I know so much
I play them like a fiddle
Then eat them for lunch
For when it comes to raging rhetoric
I prove myself to be the better *****

They turn suspicious
So I become vicious
And treat them like *******
Because all of their wishes
Are of being capable witches
So they can morph me into a frog
Maybe then I'll hope on their log
And live the limited life they want
But they'll always tease and taunt
So my sensitive secrets I'll flaunt
To disarm their negative notions
Yet that's a never ending ocean

We live in a world of suspicion
With a hatred ignition
We live in a world that's a prison
A world that's sad to envision
Where everyone's a guard
And everyone is charred
By the judge
Who throws sludge
At the fragile mirror
To make hatred clearer

We must break the lawyers' locks
And sell their suspicious stocks
For when we fear one another
We don't hear one another
Communication goes
Suspicion grows
That's the flow
While we sit in our vaults
Hoping that this halts
But it never stops
In a world of cops
A world that's continually turning
While suspicion keeps burning

A thought that comes so sudden

Like a stranger unpleasant

Who knocks at your door

and barges in before you say, No

Why was it let in without resistance.

Why were you stupefied by its appearance

What made you so afraid that you watched helplessly while it settled in.

Maybe the intruder was not a stranger but someone you had seen earlier.

Someone you were afraid to encounter

and wished would never come so near.

Helped by your fear, this intruder dictates your behaviour and enslaves you further to become your master.

This intruder is Suspicion and none other.

An undesirable thought when allowed to register will feed on your fear and soon become a doubt that is difficult to clear.

Save yourself from being ruined by this intruder, whom Suspicion we call here.

What does it say
When being happy
Worries me?

What does it say
about me
When being happy leaves me concerned
that the worst is yet to come