Leaving you behind unwillingly. I wanted to run back, but i chose not to. Our relationship was very complicated. I have to let go of you but i’m still missing you. The seasons kept changing but we were still together. I didn’t realize your existence. But you saw me. But you never confessed to me. This was why we were just friends. But, our hearts were close to each other. The time was passing too fast, And i missed my chance to confess to you. My love for you has made me forget what my dream is about. Although my dream has set up us apart You will always be in my heart. This is a secret deep in my heart.
Can’t sleep. Lying here. On my bed. A bright screen. White Dead? No life. My head Filled with knives. I bled. For a time. Words unsaid Steady decline. Depression fed. Fault’s mine. Should’ve fled. Was a sign Should’ve read. Got there fine. Where it led? Should’ve said A bright screen. White. Now red. Dead?
My life consist of complex inginueity striving to be original but molding to the harshness of what the world is doing to me. Am i wrong for contemplating my lifes decisions. Because this isnt the way things where suppost to come out in my own depiction on the out come of my life. Maybe its my thoughts that are making me insane since i constanly think all i am is trash but theres a saying one persons trash is another treasure not sure if weather to believe it or not because woman come and go i just dont measure up to the dream guy. Maybe its my icebox heart that lets them see the coldness in my eyes gazing into theres filling false hopes of prosper and love each seem to be lies. Just to watch them break down in tears with no remorse when i see them cry since id rather not catch feelings being to scared to see where true love coulf take me honestly i dont know why. Im screaming in rage from the inside like im traped in a four corner room staring at walls hyperventilating unable to get out im balled up feeling trapped im at a loss. Maybe you the reader cant understand what i mean maybe you can i feel like my life has been a bunch of ups and downs more downs then ups i was just a accidental nut that swam into the **** since my fathers pull out game wasnt fast enough now im stuck with the harsh reality of a cold world that beats me down after i get back up when will enough be enough maybe i need to find love and stop trying to hide the void wheres my diamond in the rough maybe I'm thinking again to much enough is enough
In the black of night I'll hear her whimper My name As if in a dream, But it was only my own. A light touch, A smile. My beloved miles away- Miles away. Yet never too far to travel for my heart Or my mind.
I really am tired, don't really know why I'm writing this or what I'm going for in it. Gn.