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(man enters a tavern)
I'd like a room and a bath please

(tavern keeper)
a room I can do, but, a bath, totally out of the question

(man)
your sign says "rooms with baths", and I would like a room with a bath, as advertised

(tk)
you aren't from around here are you?

(man)
no, why?



(tk)
I thought not, so, I will say this slow...A room I can do, but a bath is totally out of the question

(man)
there is no need to take that tone with me. I made a perfectly legitimate request, as per your signage, and you take umbrage with me.

(tk)
I did not, and besides, I can't take it, if I don't know what it is. Hold on one minute....(walks outside, grabs a shovel on the way out...knocks sign down).

(tk)
(upon re-entry)....now, about that sign you said you saw. I believe you were mistaken.

(man)
this is the "three rivers tavern" as per the sign, which I assume is no longer hanging out front.

(tk)
It is, and your assumption is correct...it isn't

(man)
so, being the "three rivers tavern" would there not be three rivers in the proximity of this establishment from which you would be able to draw water for me, a bypasser, to get a bath

(tk)
yes...and no

(man)
what kind of an answer is that?

(tk)
Yes, it is the "three rivers tavern" and no, there are not three rivers in close proximity of this establishment from which I, a humble tavern keeper, and former owner of a sign, advertising, falesly, I might add...the presence of a bath in this establishment.

(man)
you are called "three rivers tavern" yet, there are no rivers nearby.? what kind of advertising is that?

(tk)
firstly, the sign was already made up, so, it was cheap. Secondly, who are you to question the name of my establishment, which I might add, is quite famous  in the region for many things, other than it's name, which, we may now be changing due to the sudden loss of our sign.

(man)
I sir, am Robin Hood of Sherwood.

(tk)
your'e not

(man)
I am. I am Robin Hood, Sir Robin of Loxley, if you please.

(tk)
I repeat...you're not. Not in those tights.

(man)
And what is wrong with my tights?

(tk)
Seriously? Do I really have to tell you that?

(man)
Yes, what is wrong with these tights?

(tk)
First off, Robin Hood, The REAL Robin Hood wouldn't be caught dead in those. Baggy, Saggy, there's leaves on them, holes...Robin Hood would have nice tight tights that were in good kip and accentuated his....

(man)
*******!

(tk)
exactly

(man)
No, I mean, how would you know what Robin Hood would wear? I mean, what I would wear? The condition of these tights helps me keep incognito in local archery competitions. If I went around showing ...

(tk)
*******!!! INCOGNITO? You are no more than a wayward traveller trying to get a free room on the reputation of someone else, namely...Robin Hood

(man)
My good sir, these are old, tights, ripped from swinging through the trees over time.

(tk)
If you are Robin Hood, tights or not...prove it to me. I'll give you the room, and go for the water myself.

(man)
How should I prove it, with no arrows, bow, and apparently no weaponry in sight. How do I go about showing I am Robin Hood?

(tk)
Use mine. Yep...use my bow, and I dare you to...to...shoot an apple off of his head over there. Oy....wake up. Catch (tosses an apple to man in the corner)
Put that on your head...he's gonna shoot it off.

(man in corner)
He's gonna what? off my...no he's not.

(man)
No, I will not. You obviously have me confused with William Tell. He's Swiss, they do things differently over there.

(tk)
You will, or you won't get your room

(man)
And if I should miss, what then?

(tk)
Not a problem. I've got lots of arrows and apples. We can just keep trying.

(man)
I mean HIM, what if I hit HIM.?

(tk)
You won't if you are who you say you are, and besides, I said I've got lots.

(man in corner)
But I'm your brother in law

(tk)
I've lots of those too. Now, here (hands arrow and bow to Robin)
Step back 10 paces, I'll open the door, and you....put that apple up.
One shot...hit the apple,....room and a bath....miss, and it's off with you

(man)
I really don't think...

(tk)
shoot or leave. Or...I can call the sherrif. If you are Robin Hood, he'll certainly want to see you.

(man)
Fine, give me those. (walks back 10 paces as the tavern owner opens the door).
(He fires, splitting the arrow in two, as the man in the corner slides to the floor)

(tk)
ROBIN!!!! Why didn't you say so? I knew it was you all the time. What can I do for you?

(Robin)
First, pick him up. Next that room. Then I have some requirements, that I need not be tested on. A bow, arrows, clothing, footwear. I need to look the part at the tournament coming up, when I do the big reveal, and I need the proper equipment. You, will help me with that, and seeing as how I have little to no money, as I said, I will need to put this on account which I will pay after the tournament.

(tk)
credit? You want credit?

(Robin)
Yes, as you can see, I am good for it.

(tk)
I saw you shoot an apple off a mans head from ten paces, not...win an archery competition with archers from all over Europe. CREDIT?

(Robin)
Here, hold this apple.

(tk)
Right, First things first...bow and arrows!!

(Robin)
I shall need to see the fletcher.

(tk)
that would be baker

(Robin)
No, I need a bow and arrows. I need a fletcher

(tk)
Exactly, Baker

(Robin)
I am at a loss. I need to see a fletcher and yet you keep saying Baker

(tk)
Right, The Fletcher is Baker. That's the man's name. You need to see Baker, the fletcher.

(Robin)
I see....I think. So I see the baker.

(tk)
You see the fletcher

(Robin)
Baker

(tk)
exactly

(Robin)
that's what I said.

(tk)
No,you said the baker

(Robin)
That's what you told me.

(tk)
No, I did not. I said The Fletcher was Baker. That's the mans name

(Robin)
Baker

(tk)
Now,you have it

(Robin)
Assuming I get what I need from the fletcher. I need a tailor.

(tk)
pastor

(Robin)
No, I do not need to see a pastor, I need a tailor

(tk)
That's the man's name. Pastor is the tailor

(Robin)
So, the pastor is the tailor

(tk)
No, Cooper is the pastor, pastor is the tailor.

(Robin)
I don't need a cooper, I need the tailor

(tk)
exactly. pastor

(Robin)
So, let me see...I go to see the pastor and the fletcher

(tk)
No, you see the tailor, pastor and then the fletcher

(Robin)
The Baker.

(tk)
Listen closely, or you'll never get your room. You see Baker the Fletcher and Pastor, the tailor. Not, the baker and the pastor. You keep getting mixed up

(Robin)
I'll need to write this down
Ok, for footwear, Cobbler

(tk)
Butcher

(Robin)
The butcher makes shoes too.?

(tk)
No. Butcher is the cobbler

(Robin)
That's what I said

(tk)
Look, it's dead easy, you go to see Baker, Pastor and Butcher and you'll be set

(Robin)
I'll end up with bread , a bible and meat. How does this help me in an archery competition?

(tk)
No...you see baker the fletcher, pastor the tailor and butcher the cobbler. It couldn't get any simpler

(Robin)
Maybe I don't need that room after all.

(tk)
follow...fletcher baker pastor tailor butcher cobbler. then back here.

(Robin)
No...I think maybe....is there another village close by.

(tk)
Yes, on the other side of the three bridges

(Robin)
Which, as we know, do not exist

(tk)
And...they speak Welsh!!! your choice

fade out
Parzival Mar 8
He is your average guy
In a hood
Always there alone in his grey hood

Not bothered about you, me them
Just him
He's not timid I know that much

Not a conversation specialist either
Never interested in talking to you
Me
Them
Talks to himself though, enjoys it

Sometimes It feels he likes he's hiding face
I wonder what's his secret identity ?
I reach for his hood
He doesn't like that, he really doesn't like that

So much anger in his eyes
Lots of sadness too
Your eyes, through them i see it
Ravaged battlefields,  how many times did you have to battle yourself
Alone
How many times did you want cry out
But you felt no one would listen?
Who are You?
Bryan Britt Feb 12
Battles never end well for one side,
In the Begging, it was the British who took the fall, one of his might
Ship sunk do to the Kriegsmarine,
Many people died in this battle, many families torn
Apart do to the war, many people served there country with honor, others not,
Revered as the most powerful ship at the time, the people
Clinging for there country on these Battleships, the
Kriegsmarine was now defeated
Poetic T Feb 8
You were coming at me like you
                               got crew.
But you all boys, not men you
              pretend to be.

More like a baby sitting club,
         sitting watching Sesame Street.



Well I got crew,

and guess what,
             there counting down


on you and your
                                                               boys.


One dead, two dead, three and four,
    you still bad mouthing us... guess what
                        we got more finger to count more.

5,6,7,8 more crew sleeping in the morgue..

Guess what you ain't got no crew no more.

You the big yellow bird squawking like you got
     room in your cage, but my boys caught you.

Now we plucked that attitude from your feathers,
                  I don't hear disrespect  just tears that fall.

I'm the cookie monster and I'm all street,
                     I'll eat up your neighbourhood
and you you'll be selling crumb's on the
corner for me.


         I'm the monster that your mum
said would be scaring you.
Mikey Kania Nov 2019
one hit right here
hit right here
hit right here

went through right
there

feel me?
hit up here n###a!

we really in the hood tho
we really with this ****

n###a this **** ain't for
play play this **** ain't
for fun we

really do
this **** we

really live
this life
youtube: "gzuz warum"
To some
He’s born
On the wrong
part of the world

To others he’s above
Prime amidst the odds
Intelligencial murr
Diamond in the ruff
A young god
Or more

To some
He’s nut
Who knows not
What is right and what is wrong
Opposite wise;  probably curse
By the gods

To others he’s just a dude
From the hood
Who walk around with fade blue hat
On stitch rag and sewed bag
Striving; even with his bruised heart
Trying to rebuild his confused path

To some
He’s a dawg
Who dresses poor
Whose sense is bore
Whose thought needs cure
A piece of junk
Lilly-knight of the lost

To others he’s tore
Been through a lot
Take a trip to his world
Through his sea and shore
You wont make it back bros

To some he’s dumb
Somewhat numb
Fault
Paralysically not
Senserable to hurt
*
But for real; he’s just a boy
Who doesn’t need to be judge
For what he is or not
Can’t you see his strug'
He’s just a boy from the slum
Trying to make it to the top
Maria Etre Aug 2019
MUSK(Y) SCENTS

HUMID NIGHTS

CHEAP V(O)DKA

STALE N(U)TS

STINKY CIGARETTES
Toxic yeti Mar 2019
These days
There are more wolves
Instead red riding hoods
Those who are
Wearing red
Are vulnerable
My weapons is my mouth
And my minds
Pick your’s carefully.
Out smart the wolves.
Jasmine Dec 2018
I looked up at the stars twinkling in the midnight sky
Smiled
Looked at him
"they remind me of my eyes the first time I saw you!"
I said with the sweetest smile on my face
He said nothing..
I asked him "wassup".. then
Noticed his eyes shivering
His cold heart was reminding him
Of each person he ever put a little piece of his heart in
Then took it with them to their death bed
His mind never seemed to rest easy when we stargazed
He said "baby
You over here ooh-ing and awe-ing over lights in the sky
While we surrounded by falling stars"
I could hear the unhealed scars in his heart
When he spoke
You could see the burn and twinkle in his eyes like fireflies
If only I could trap it in a jar the same way
Ease his pain
Kisses and I love you's were never enough
He believed he had to be tough
To run from his rough past
He came a long way
but ran the wrong way
shutting doors on every person who came his way
so he could have more room for harms-way
Because he knew the feeling of being shut out too
Shut out of heaven or hell's doors
Or in his words "wherever real ****** go when they die"
Everything he ever loved walked in and never came back
And as many times as he knocked
Those doors never opened for him
Those shores never swept him
Yet his mind was always lost
At "see what I mean, this life wasn't made for us"
..I wish he didn't believe it
His smile so precious
His mind so ambitious
His love so priceless
I wrote this poem to tell him that
Dirt in his mouth will never taste anything like the dinners I cook for him
and even on his good days, there will always be darkness
Calling for him
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