Sad excuse of a man
Only yourself to blame
For a life filled with nothing
And a mouthful of shame.

I'm certain
That your rib cage is hollow,
And your heart
Is misplaced on your tongue.
I know that the light
That shines in your eyes
Isn't the same
As the one in the sky,
And I can't decide
Which is brighter.

The blinding white of your eyes
Show promise of the future,
But the flames in your hands
Show contradiction.
I'd like to believe
You'd heal me if you could,
But these codes can't be cracked
Like my broken bones.
And I'm scared to take flight
Into the unknown.
They asked me
How to stop an exploding man,
But I'm afraid it's out of my control.

As invisible as air,
I idle near the door,
Hopeful for a brief greeting
From your burdensome feet.
In and out,
Never forgetting
To step on my very core.
I wait and wait
Knowing that someone
Will eventually have to come,
Forgetting that they'll just as soon
Have to leave.

You standing for one night
Leaves me crying for a day.
And I don't think running in circles
Will make me less dizzy
Like you told me it would.
Of course I wanted your heart
I just wasn't sure what to say,
And my life kept spinning
And I couldn't make it stop
Long enough to land where you are.

The rips in my sweater
Are a metaphor
For the way your cold hands
Still keep me warm,
And your glittering eyes
After 5 glasses
Are the reason I've diagnosed myself
With insomnia.
Your lips part like the clouds
And expose my soul
To the warmth of your chest
And I actually struggle to breathe
When you say my name
But I can't think of a better way to die.

The sunlight reminds me
That it's morning
But my eyes were still clouded
Like 2 am.
I'm not sure
Who keeps topping off
My glass
Because it seems to be empty
Every 5 minutes.
How did the sun get
To that side
Of the room?
I see your face
In every shadow.
The thought of you
Is murderous
And the knife
In my gut
Keeps turning.
Another glass?
I suppose.

The time I wasted on you
Never felt wasted
At the time.
And if courage
Is what makes a man
You are a child
And I am not ready
To be a mother.
My arms are too weak
To lift you up
When you're already
So high.
And I'm afraid
I'll have to leave you
With your games
Because I am too old
To play.

And even on
My brightest days,
With thoughts of you
Come storms.

I've grown tired of being there for you
To hold at night
When your mind
Suppresses your faith.
There for you to conquer
When you feel powerless.
There for you to love
When you feel generous.
You've stitched me up
With the thinnest of strings
That threaten to unravel
At the slightest touch
And you're anything but gentle.
Your carelessness keeps you unaware
And your incognizance renders you useless.
I've grown tired of holding you up
While my knees shake and quiver.
And I've grown tired of pouring my heart out
Into your impermeable hands.
And I've grown tired
Of growing tired.
I think I'll rest now.

The feelings don't hurt much anymore
But the memories are shards of glass
Swirling in my head.
It's like,
I can't feel your touch
But I remember loving it
When you touched me.
And I can't hear your laugh
But I remember how my body
Liquified at the sound.
And I can't see your face
But I remember its beautiful shape
And how you'd smile at me
As I came into view.
I wish I could pretend
That your memory is you.

The kiss of the stoic breeze
Is the most loving thing
I've felt in your presence.
Your tarot cards showed destruction,
But I knew I could face your wrath.
Ball it up and hold it over your head
But I dropped it on myself instead.
You played God, and I played dead.
I still can't figure this out..
But there's something to be said
About a person who feels
Nothing but warmth
When they're lucky enough
To touch something so cold.

I feel so bloated
When I think of you
Like I've swallowed a hundred pills
To forget your silhouette
Against the moonlight
And the perfect edge
Of your sculpted jawline
And the contours of your chest
That move with your ragged breath
And your very strong hands
That are oddly so gentle.
It's almost like I can hear you
Whispering my name
Or feel your arm
Gripping my waist.
These images are so vivid
Why aren’t you here