I miss how you used to laugh
And inspired everyone else to do the same.
I miss your fearlessness.  Your curiosity.
I miss how much you loved
to run and play games.
I miss a lot of things.
But what I miss the most is how pure you were.
Like the light from the midnight moon.
You were gone too soon, Innocence.

Why do we ask the same questions
Using the same words
And hope it is any more relevant
And meaningful
Than it was before?

these days, shining a light
In the darkness
Is harder than it sounds.
But don't give up.
There are still people
Looking to be found

I know that what I've done so far
Has really helped people.
But sometimes, I wish I didn't care so much. Sometimes, I would give anything to be numb. Because it's so exhausting being a castle of glass. I can't sleep. I can't breathe. Because every day,  I feel myself getting one step closer to the catalyst. The thing that makes me ready to take everything I've built and burn it down. Because in the end, does any of it really matter?

I breathe in and out trying to clear my head
of all the things i thought about but never actually said.
Even though I never got a chance to tell you
you meant the world to me, i know you knew it; it was plain to see. You took so much of me when you left, i still don't know what to do. But in your honor i will keep on pushing through.
I know someday you'll show me the way
but for now, you're in my heart and that's where you'll stay

it always seems that life is happy to remind you
that it doesn't owe you anything.
it doesn't owe you happiness.
or friends.
it doesn't even owe you an explanation
of what happens at the end of your story.
but guess what?
you don't owe life anything either.
you don't owe anything to anyone except yourself.
it's your time. your happiness. your choice.
because it is your story.

So many things I've said.
So much i have left to say.
But I don't think I have enough time
to find the words that keep getting lost along the way.
Don't be afraid if I forget who I am today
because I still remember who we were yesterday.
I remember the nights by the fire with a bottle of wine.
I remember the the day you said you'd be mine.
I remember all the years we were young, wild, free.
I remember all the dreams we had
of how great our kids' future would be.
I remember the love. I remember the fights.
I remember the summers on the island
watching the fireworks light up the night.
Even if it doesn't show, there's one thing I need you to know.
I remember

Not my strongest work,
but this is my first poem since March.
Irrational fears

Sometimes, I look up at the stars and ask "where do I go from here?"
But the only answers that are ever offered
Come from my Irrational fears

Tonight, I sit down to write
Just like many nights before.
This time, however, I saw something different on the other side of the door.
I saw hope.
I saw it when I saw the grass again.
I saw the sun melt the snow away.
And I knew that snow would turn
Back to water which would bring
The flowers back someday.

Today, I'm conflicted:
I don't want to remember you
But I don't want to forget either.

Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
Turn away. Now look back.
Is the reflection any clearer?
Does it look the same?
Is it what you thought it'd be?
If it's not, don't worry.
You can change it because you control your destiny.
But just because you can change things doesn't necessarily mean you should.
Before you make any decisions,
Ask "is this a change for the good?"

I know I'm in pain.
But is this pain from living? Or dying?
Is it a punishment for trying to survive?
I'm sorry, I don't have the answers.
But I'll keep looking.

Take a minute to think about all the things you've said and all the things you've done.
If you put them all together,
it all adds up to one. One moment.
The moment you realize your mistakes
aren't failures. They're teachers.

My stomach churns as I get ready to fly away.
Adrenaline rises as I hear a voice say...5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Then my rocket blasts off
toward the milky way.
Before I know it, 2 days have gone by. And as I look out the window,
I can't help but cry.
Because floating in the moonlight, even though I'm all alone
in a sea of stars,
it really hits home how small and connected we really are.

You can be hurt, but not feel pain.
You can be scared even though you seem safe. You can feel trapped even when you're alone because everyone processes their own experiences and emotions differently.
It's all valid.

I want to tell you that it's going to be alright.
I want to tell you whatever I have to to get you through the night.
I want to tell you how proud I am that you asked for help as i hold you tight.
No matter how much you scream and cry and shake, I won't give up the fight.
I want to tell you that it's not your fault.
And as we sit by the fire, watching it fill the room with warmth and light, I want to tell you that it's going to be alright

It's not easy to be me.
I don't imagine it's easy to be you.
It's not easy to be anything or anyone.
It's not easy to follow through.
It's not easy to give up. It's not easy to give in. It's not easy to keep people
from getting under your skin.
My point is, nothing is easy.
So, it's okay if you fail. Everyone's done it.
And just look where they are now.
Keep your head up, and you'll go far.

It's not your fault if he doesn't say hi as you walk by.
It's not your fault if she doesn't seem to know you exist.
But it's not their fault either.
It's not your fault if you feel too much or nothing at all.
And if it gets bad, there's nothing wrong with curling up in a ball.
We all need an escape.
This is an important one.
It is NOT your fault if you get addicted to the drugs or the drink.
It's not your fault if you get so stressed, you can't eat, sleep, or think. It's not your fault
Because bad things, confusion, sadness, stress, loss, anger...it happens to everyone. It's not a choice.

It's okay to find shapes in the clouds or stand out in the crowd.
It's okay to ask why or if you feel you need to cry.
It's okay to say no.
It's okay if you don't know.
It's okay if your dreams change as you grow.
It's okay if you're wrong.
It's okay if you're right.
It's okay to ask for help
or if you're afraid of the night.
It's okay to sing.
It's okay to love who you love.
It's okay to believe heaven and your god above.
It's okay if you're lonely.
It's okay to admit you're not okay.
But remember. No matter what they say, it's okay

It's up to you what's wrong or right.
It's up to you whether you want to fight or go quietly into the night.
It's up to you whether you want to take this life by the *****
or fall in line behind the wall.
This is your life.
Your body.
You have the power to choose.
Whatever you decide,
it's up to you

Forgiveness will mean nothing
If you will not forgive yourself
Because it's okay if it's your fault.

Where are we?
This place looks familiar,
But where are the screaming kids?
Where are the runners and bikers?
Why is it so hard for parents
To find toilet paper or diapers?
Why are people wearing masks?
It's spring, not Halloween.
I'm sure this place has its charm
But I want to go home.

I want you to know something.
It's okay to ask for help.
It's not embarrassing; it's brave
To admit you don't know something
And want to change.
I ask that you don't worry
That people will think less of you
If you do. You're trying to learn.
And that's something you should
Never apologize for

the goal was to survive.
but the dream was to live.
I was ready to give it my all.
I just had to stay alive.
then, one day, my whole world came crashing down.
first, I lost someone I loved.
then, I lost myself.
cutting through my grief,
the demons in my head suggested I was better off dead.
but another voice said "you know that's not true."
that's when I remembered.
she always told me
"the goal is to survive but the dream is to live."
I was ready to give up.
but if it means I can keep her dream alive,
I will live. I will survive.

I wonder where you are
I wonder where you've been
I wonder if I'll ever see you again.
I wonder if you miss me
As much as I miss you.
I wonder if you dream of us
And all that we've been through

No matter how hard you try
I won't let you see me cry.

if you tell me I'm wrong,
I won't try to change your mind.
I have better things
To do with my time.
And if you think you can find someone
Better for you than me,
Then go. Be free.
I won't try to change your mind.
Because I love with eyes wide open.
Never blind.
Never again.

It's just another day in the life of me.
Just another day; nothing new to see.
It's just another day in the life of me.
Just another day I wish I didn't feel this way.
It's just another day in an endless war.
Just another day my heart feels sore.
It's just another day, but it's almost done.
Just another day I pray that tomorrow
will be more than just another day.

They say "it's not about what you say, it's about what you do."
But that's not necessarily true.
Like everything, it depends on the situation.
For example, when it came to writing the declaration,
The act of writing it was just as important as the words they wrote.
What I'm saying is, no one action is more important than another.
What we say, what we do, it's all important.
Because in the end, all we have is each other.

Just because it's called makeup
doesn't mean it has to make up who you are.
Just because someone is bullying you
doesn't mean they're not being bullied too.
Just because someone tells you you're stupid or ugly
doesn't mean it's true.
Now, it's true that just because you read something
it doesn't make it true.
But it's important to know that just because you're feeling blue,
it doesn't mean it's the end of happiness for you

"I'm too afraid to die but in too much pain to want to live.
So tell me, what do you do when you've given all you feel you have to give?
"Just live."

A knife. A gun.
These instruments usually inspire
One feeling. One thought. Fear. Run.
But for some people, it could inspire
A completely different thought.
"Just one."
"One slice. One bullet. No more pain.
No more voices in my head
Driving me insane.
It's amazing. One is such a small number, but it can change so much.
One slice. One bullet. One kiss.
One hug. One touch.
All it takes is one person to say
"I love you. I care."
Be that "one."
See how much of a difference you can make by saying "if you want to talk, I'll be there."

I'm not here to tell you why or how.
I'm just here to help you through when life goes POW!

Keep writing about you
Keep writing for me
Keep writing about the future you want to see
Keep writing about your love
Keep writing about your pain
Keep writing about your dream of kissing someone in the rain.
Keep writing when you feel blue
Keep writing when you feel high
Keep writing about the name you'd give your own personal star in the sky.
Keep writing about the fun.
Keep writing about the night you had one too many beers
Keep writing to pass your wisdom on through the years.

The wind whistles as it whips down the winding street
Trying to knock down people
wary of the ice and snow beneath their feet.
The sky watching over them is still.
But it's a trap. A storm is coming in for the ****

If you want the world
to know who you are,
YOU have to know who you are first.
What you stand for.
What you want to say.
Because one day, they may listen.
But you never know how long they'll stay.

"I wish I could fight."
"You can."
"How? I don't know how
to punch or move."
"You fight with words.
It's called kung fu typing."
"Kung fu typing?
Did you just make that up?
Doesn't sound very cool."
"It's not supposed to be.
But if you master it,
you'll never need to worry
about not knowing
how to punch or move."

I wanted you to show me the way.
To give me a sign.
But I looked behind to realize, for once, I wasn't the last one in line.

Dear anger, frustration, denial, and fear,
I don't want you near.
You weighed me down like a lead balloon,
So I'm letting you go to find a new home far away, like the moon.

"How are you today?"
"Honestly? Stuck. Frustrated.
Like I want to give up."
"Okay. What's making you feel that way?"
"It's been a long time coming.
I feel like I've tried so hard
To find happiness.
I'm trying to talk to people.
I'm doing things I love.
But no matter what I do,
I just feel empty. Alone."
"Most of the time, happiness
Is a watched ***; it won't happen
If you're trying to find it.
Same goes for love.
Let me ask you this.
What does happiness mean to you?"
"Uh...I don't know? Hakuna matata?
Being able to actually laugh.
Being able to breathe."
"And can you do that
If you spend all your energy
Trying to force that?"
"Okay. I get your point.
I'm trying too hard.
So what do I do?"
"Let happiness find you."

What I saw didn't change me
What I believed didn't change me
The people I let love me changed me.

Look, I understand.
You don't want to open your eyes
to a world full of despair and lies.
Believe me. I was the same way.
Numb to the core acting like I don't care anymore.
Then I realized that's not true.
I care just as much as you.
I just had to realize we aren't defined
by the actions of a man named trump sitting on his golden ****. Now I know the world's not that scary.
It's extraordinary
because I see the fight in the people who keep the light alive.
Who want to do more than just survive.
Don't say ignore the haters and the doubters
because they are the ones who fuel our powers.
I hope when you read this, you don't cheer or hate.
Just resonate with what I'm trying to say.
The problems of the world won't go away tonight or tomorrow.
But if we band together, our strength will grow forever and ever. And maybe one day, we can rise up and say
let's not make America great again;
let's make the whole world great again.

"If you don't want to hear "I'm sorry" then I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Even if you did, you wouldn't mean it anyway."
"We were great together. What did I do that was so wrong?"
"If you don't know, if you can't see how much you've changed, maybe you're too far gone."
"I haven't changed. I'm the same man I was before.
Yeah, I drink a little more.
But that doesn't mean you have to walk out the door."
"I don't want to. But you're not giving me much of a choice.
You don't listen to how much you're hurting me
no matter how much I raise my voice."
"You're hurting? You have no idea what I'm feeling inside.
You never asked why I started drinking.
You never even tried to understand.
Look, you said you don't want to walk.
So if you're willing to listen, I'm willing to talk."
"So let's talk."

Sometimes, life is good.
And sometimes, it's bad.
Sometimes, life can even seem cruel.
But it can also be special.
Like when you become a mom or dad.
Now that we've talked about
What life is sometimes,
Let's talk about what it is all the time.
When it comes down to it,
Life is life.

If we experience death
While we're alive,
Could we experience life
When we're dead?

Life as a cat? That's where it's at.
The cat is so beloved, the humans offer a beach of crystals to use as a toilet each week.
We may be fancy, but don't fall for those ridiculous stories. we don't wear hats or speak.
As a cat, you get to sleep all day. Then, when you wake up, the humans are ready to play.
If they get annoying, just bat them with your paw and they'll usually go away.
If an intruder makes its presence known, scratch and *** on the walls to let them know "you're in my space. This is my home and mine alone."
Well, I think that's all I have to say. Remember, show your humans love, and you'll be treated like a god for the rest of your days.

Doc tells me im still alive. Don't know how but not complaining. Just trying to live in the here and now. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten my past. Think about life as a boat on the open sea. The mast, the pole in the center of the boat, is your past. It's the foundation and holds up the sail which is your future. You're the captain; the one who controls the here and now. Your loved ones are your power; the wind that pushes you forward. And the sea, that's the most important part
It represents the unknown. The things you can't control. There will be days when the thunder claps and your boat floods from Whitecaps. I know it's hard, but if you don't worry about the sea, what you can't control, and don't block out your past, you can give your all to someone and find happiness that lasts.

Every day, I get out of bed
And wait for work so I can stay out of my head.
For 8 to 9 hours a day, I talk to people I barely know.
but it's a big relief because I'm not the star of the show.
When you live life on the autism spectrum, the mind can be a scary place.
You question every decision you make, and just talking to people can make your heart race.
It can make you feel alone. Frustrated. Sad.
But it's not all bad.
People on the spectrum see the world in a way most could never understand.
It's beautiful. And we want you to experience it. That's why we reach out for your hand.
We want to connect.
But it takes a while to learn how.
If you can be patient, when we're ready, we'll show you the world in a different way. I promise it will make you say "wow."

Things change every day
whether we like it or not.
That's why it's so important
to work with what we've got.
Because one day, they just might pave paradise to put up a parking lot

Everyone has limits.
It's okay if you've reached yours.
You can close any doors
you've opened.
No matter what people say,
you've got nothing to prove.
Just take life day by day, and someday, you'll find your groove.
I'm not saying it will be easy.
In fact, you'll probably
have some scars.
But if you're going to make it, it'll be because you believe in yourself and trust that you ARE enough