I know that what I've done so far Has really helped people. But sometimes, I wish I didn't care so much. Sometimes, I would give anything to be numb. Because it's so exhausting being a castle of glass. I can't sleep. I can't breathe. Because every day, I feel myself getting one step closer to the catalyst. The thing that makes me ready to take everything I've built and burn it down. Because in the end, does any of it really matter?
Almost out of energy. Almost out of time. Almost out of patience. Almost out of rhymes. Almost out of love. Almost out of space. Almost ready to give up and leave this wretched place. But every time I feel I'm ready to say goodbye, I think about all the people I'd have to leave behind. I think about all the memories that would be erased. Some good. Others bad. I think about all the adventures I'd never get to have. Life can be exhausting. Painful. So I can understand why you'd want it to end. But take it from me. You never know what you'll miss. You never know who will miss you. And you never know What's just around the river bend.
Holidays are usually exciting. But for people who are depressed, Holidays can be exhausting. Excruciating. They can be so stressed Trying to wear a happy face, They might have a hard time Eating anything on their plate. So, if you feel this way, I have a challenge for you. It's called operation happier holidays. Instead of protecting them, Tell your loved ones if you're not okay. They may be upset, confused, or even angry at first. But almost everyone secretly wishes For their loved ones to be happy and healthy. So do it for them. But do it for yourself too. Because you deserve to be happy.
I miss the way you look at me When I’m doing nothing but breathing The way your lips find mine Under every single red light The way it takes hours just to say goodnight When I was too nervous to hold you like I wanted to Because I was afraid of what it might make me want to do And I could write about how I’m terrified, because I am But all I can think about is how happy I feel when you’re holding my hand How you told me you’d be mine as long as I wanted you Like you see a day coming when my “I love you” won’t be true But right now there’s nothing I want more than to kiss you like I’m meant to To trace your lips with my fingertips, just admiring the view I want to lay with my head on your chest Your hands moving over my skin like no one else is in the room I remember your hair, how it gets red in the summer And what it looks like dripping wet just out of the shower You mean a lot to me I hope you know And I didn’t know what to do with how sad I felt driving home Knowing you won’t be there and I still won’t see you for a month Knowing you’re asleep, 953 miles from me Missing you is exhausting