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Oops,
I did it again.
Now i have to clean the floor again.
I don't want my friends to see
The blood everywhere,
Me crying,
Torn apart letters from the times love still existed here.
Well, did it ever?
Maybe i should feel bad,
Lying to my friends.
A "Spill the tea sis" here
And a "Yeet hahaha" there
Some vines,
Some memes
Some weird TikTok's,
Or a crazy text.
And i look completely fine.
Or maybe i do always,
Been hiding the emotions for so long i wonder if i even have them nowadays.
I just say i am a bad person,
They will hopefully leave me to die.
But hey,
Maybe i actually am.
I don't know.
Joking through my life,
If i'm Lucky,
Life will turn into the biggest joke of them all.
But,
Nobody
Cares
This poem is about how you can make jokes and seem fine in front of everyone, while you're actually depressed and suicidal.
Bullet Nov 2018
Place me seated with a placemat
Waters on both sides spring
Conversations of leaves fallen
Color separated between the lines

The way women n' men view
Didn't want anything on the menu
Spilt Motz sticks n' fries
Paid Plate $7.88

Birthday had to tell you ways
Things like not everything is okay
Head space is telling everyone is against me
Had to bring you on a filtered level

Room full of people
Chilling at Denny's
Judge for a shared plate
But thoughts only hit the door
When you point at something you don't get

Judgement try to enclose your mind
Night try to eclipse me from time
Was judge for sharing a plate of food at Denny's made me look at life like not everything we do is okay or set at a certain kind of standard.
jerelii Oct 2018
i’m fine



...............


"when i am not totally fine"
when you can’t sleep
and you stayed until 3 am

Jerelii
October 19, 2018
Pure of Stars Aug 2018
somethings inside of me
killing me
very very slowly
it’s strange
because it’s not making me sick
well not your type of sick
instead it’s taking my mind
and unscrewing all of its bolts
tainting my soul red
and banging my heart against my ribcage
Denise Uy Aug 2018
I'm used to myself and not getting help because I'm way up the
shelf and none of you can reach.

I try to talk, I break the walls that build up again so no one can breach.

I set my moods on fire so I can say that I'm not tired,
so I can say that I'm fine and I don't cry sometimes at night.

Funny how I water down the frown forming on my face,
set my lips to a sincere smile and it's the best lie I don't have to say.

People surround me and they laugh too, but they're all corpses designed to look like clowns:

watering down their frowns and putting on a facade of youth and energy.

I know they're tired, too.

I know they too suffer from the same pretense I have to go through when I'm not being me.
I'm not the only one dying inside.
Pure of Stars Jul 2018
no
everything hurts
i’m not fine
i just want to scream until i can no longer breathe
and fall onto the floor crying
i need a hug
i need some support
i need someone to listen to me
but i need everyone to stay away from me
i have all these perplexing thoughts screaming at me
i feel like i’m going to break

but yeah i’m fine thanks for asking
I know this isn’t really a poem. It was just the heat of the moment, and looking at this now, I can’t really describe how I felt. Even in words, my one escape.
You ask me if I'm okay,
And maybe I was today.
But now you have me thinking,
And I realize my world has been shrinking,
Until it is unrecognizable to me.
Now you are waiting for an answer,
And I know what I should say.
I want to tell you the truth,
But I am afraid of scaring you away.
"Thank you for asking, I'm okay."
Tara Jun 2018
Hunger
Wolves gnawing at my stomach
Pain
With every move and twist of my body
Burning me inside

I want to eat
I need to eat
But I can’t
When I do
Just a bite

One swallow
I feel full
It’s an empty full
Then I puke
It all comes out

Gross acidic taste
The wolves keep eating me from the inside out
Lightheaded and dizzy
Am I okay?
I’m lost in the stomach
Anorexia. Oof. My demon. I haven’t been affected that much but a few months ago it was pretty bad. My mom and friends parents always said Sweetheart your so thin. That made me really sad because I was still called fat face because of my faces bone structure of being round... no matter how skinny I was my face stayed the same.
"Are you okay?"
He asked.
"I am okay."
I lied.

But I guess he's ****** enough,
He believed me.
And everyday he asked.
And everyday I lied.
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