"I'm too afraid to die but in too much pain to want to live.
So tell me, what do you do when you've given all you feel you have to give?
"Just live."

They're swinging left and swinging right.
They hide in the shadows just out of sight.
But how can I fight what I cannot see?
How can I stop them from breaking every piece of me?
If you're out there and feeling all alone,
you don't have to fight all on your own.
Because the more you ask for help, the more you take control.
And when you take control and feel it in your soul,
the doubts will start to disappear.
Doubts! The bullies of the mind.
Doubts! Leave no trace of them behind.
Now that you know how to fight back, it's time to put it to the test. Take it one step, one day at a time, and we'll figure out the rest.

I live every day in a self-inflicted wound
With self-destructive tendencies, my insides are festooned
I fill my lungs with nicotine to keep me calm
Adderal to keep me going as the day drags on
Alcohol to slow my breath and make me smile
Caffeinated beverages push me through each mile
Streaming television at all hours, night or day
To forcibly make vicious thoughts of self-loathing go away
Painkillers are administered every night for sleep
Behavioral modification so crazy thoughts won't make a peep
I drank, I smoked, consumed, and used
Altered, Changed, Rewired, Abused
Danced in the streets, a wistful fool
Clearly a vagabond, with pharmaceutical tools
     Can't I stop?
Dance for us you idiot, give us delight
     Why can't I stop?
Stand up like the stupid puppet you do each night
     I'll stop!
Make merry like the fiend you are
     ...and it stopped
With the screeching brakes, horrible crash, and flipping of a car

Oh for a poor vagabond like me
My only drug now is the long road of recovery