thoughts once so clear now flee en mass like small birds scattering in the wind... try to capture one and it fades to dust in my trembling hand my eyes teared up by the loss... what was her name... when was it I smiled like the sun bursting through the clouds on that day... where did I misplace that long-sought device... where have all my yesterdays gone... all escapes along the shifting winds of age small beautiful birds plumage so bright and beautiful to behold loves and laughter, days of wonder and joy crumble into dust as my forgetful fingers pry at their edges, trying to recall... her yesterday was my forever do you think she remembers me? ... as I slip into forgetfulness I hope that I will no longer remember to mourn my forgotten yesterdays... age is coming for me and iv forgotten how to tame that ugly beast
i sense the walls of sanity cracking unseen trying to hide in the foundation trying to escape but there is nowhere to run the clues begin to reveal themselves we drive silent into the country my Father and i rarely spoke revealed our fears our doubts ourselves but today i saw a frightened man a man dealing with an enemy he couldn't control 'I worked hard my whole life. This is not fair' he fought back tears but i could not
my father passed away from the debilitating effects of alzheimer's
The older man seemed confused. I slowed, turned in my drive. I was just returning from the airport. He fell on the road too, And got a nasty **** to his left knee. Later, I learned he had onset of the dreaded D. This morning, I flew a plane, Then slipped right back into humanity From the mirth of azure skies.
Tip of the cap to McGee's "High Flight." Wonderful poem.
I think my writing is becoming more like texting. :0
i try really hard not to cry a lot. and i try to stop myself from thinking about anymore sort of losses. and i try really really hard not to realize the loss my dog is more hurtful than the loss of my late grandfather. because, there's a difference in-between spontaneity and fore-told doom regarding loss. there's a difference between having someone on my bed every night, and the loss of humanity that Alzheimer turns you into. i don't know which one i'd rather choose, another 6 years of knowing they aren't there anymore. or another dead dog.
i just can't i dont even know what i can't anymore. this is just too **** ******* much emotion i don't know how to handle it. i've spent so long being a shell that being filled with anything but emptiness is confounding and not understandable