We are light bulbs
Every one of us is luminous and flickering with hopeful rays of light
And you know what?
All light bulbs break sooner than we'd like them to
Doesn't that imply that all energy sources deplete sooner than we'd like them to too?
And that we, as shatterable creatures with complex brain structures also do crack more often then we'd expect ourselves to
And that's okay, it really is
As long as each one of us manufactures new light bulbs
And continue to replace our fractured ones with freshly made ones,
But never leave yourself tangled in unilt fragments
The sooner you start helping yourself, the better you'll feel
Don't. Lose. Hope.
My Favorite part of loving you
was always when i hugged you
as if a hug from me could fix your childhood
as if a hug from me could protect you from yourself
and your fears
as if a hug from me,
can mend all of your broken pieces
Because at the end of the day
no one understands you the way i do
no one knows you the way i do
i know every side of you
all the things that you desire
all the things that can destroy you,
that's our bond
Breath hunny, let it out
Let it float away in silence
There is no need to shout
Breath hunny, for one day
You will find a love like the one
That remorsfuly cast you away
Breath hunny, for you will learn
To love him, as you loved him
Your feedom you will earn
Breath hunny, this is just life
Not every relationship works
It's all just part of the strife
I never desired death,
except for this once,
that I lay right next to the window on the floor staring blankly at
the glare of the heater
It were on my face and it hurt
but I welcomed it for it felt as though I were being scorned for being pathetic.
I waited for Satan to come and claim my soul.
I never wanted to cut myself,
except for this once,
that I took the most jagged knife in the kitchen and in the overwhelm of tears,
I rubbed furiously on my arm.
It didn't feel even close to redemption.
I never wanted to hate myself
until this once I made my mother cry.
She was so angry, frustrated, worried and sad.
Sitting ten feet away from me and weeping in the dark.
All I wanted to was to put my hand through her soul, gather all of that frenzy in a fist and then bite it,
gulp it down, wishing it'd slowly choke me.
There were dark nights, there still are.
I don't understand nor can I ink down a timeline as to
how in all the selfloathing I came to love myself.
Somewhere down the line, I forgave.
I think that's what's happened.
perhaps at the most oddest hour or the most oddest day,
I would have sat back and
in the judiciary of my my soul, said-
And just like that everything must've fallen together.
Some nights are revolutionary.
But humans are the biggest miracle in that revolution.
There must be a reason why humans and hope alliterate.
When you eat more than you said you would
When you accidentally text the boy who broke you
End the conversation
When you get too drunk and kiss someone
Don’t be ashamed
When the pain becomes too great and you slip up with the blade
clean the blood
bandage the wound
and then call your mom.
We are all human
We all mess up
And we can all be redeemed.
Less than three months left.
More than three months in.
To be sure of my day of getting back to reality
I just have to keep a good grasp onto
This smile Ive come fond of
I need to stick to doing it myself
And not waiting for someone
Or more likely
Like a pill of some sort
Or the sticky stuff
Or the liquid stuff
The point is
I got this
And my job is to prove that
Stay on track
Put up with these druggies' bullshit for a bit longer
I'l be home.
I read the same sad love poems I have before. The same wymsical heartbreak only other poems seem to understand. The same heart clenching ones that made fat warm tears spring into my eyes before...and don't cry. At this point don't do much more than look at them with...annoyance. I still think of you...but feel this emptiness. Sure an achy heart because hey! I thought I loved you! I think I loved you.
Am I over you? Or just broken?