Star Gazer:
Unlucky overlord from sydney australia. Named hidden agenda before.

We conversed in only poetry remember?

For once where the tyre swing hung on the tree
Now hangs a broken noose....

Remember?

Conor Blatchford:
I remember, for our poetic talk
Became our poetry
And I always did enjoy
The leisure of a pleasant memory

Star Gazer:
A pleasant memory twas,
But memories get forgotten,
But I do send applause,
For a memory unlike cotton.

Conor Blatchford:
Applause graciously accepted,
No roses are thrown but none needed
That memory was but a play, one of many
That in life will continually be seeded

Star Gazer:
Until uprooted without reason
Dangling onto what is left,
And heart plays traitor in treason,
And memory is but a theft.

Conor Blatchford:
True, memory is not quite the event
But tend and care for it like any plant
And it will grow into something fond
Something that becomes more real and less like a mask

Star Gazer:
Humans are attracted to masks,
Cruel facades are what we have known all our lives.

Conor Blatchford:
A façade makes life worthwhile
A display of grace and eloquent style
Hiding what we truly are
Is perfectly understandable, not in the least bizarre

Star Gazer:
But where is the line between imaginary and reality,
Feeding false hopes and liee to banality,
It is just one step closer to hell,
And one stop further from heaven as well

Conor Blatchford:
Heaven and Hell are concepts designed
To induce goodness and quell pride
For even though evil creates a social reject,
An old saying re-written: no-one is perfect

So how are we supposed to climb
The stairway to Heaven with imperfection in mind?
Wouldn't it be just easier to fall
Into the Hellhole that awaits us all?

A dark and stormy day
Stone-walled house and creaky floorboards
Rain tapping all the windows, streaking them,
As the windows shudder in their housings

A high, keening wind
Clap of thunder and a drawer being opened
The cutlery inside rattling
As the drawer comes to rest

A roving and admiring eye
So wet, reflecting the dull silver sheen
Sizing up the pain within
And the size of the blade to release it

A lightning bolt outside the window
Causes him to look up, through the pelting rain
At his own reflection, to the dark hair
And those sad, sad eyes

He tilts his head a little, wondering
Just how good a scar would look
To beautify what is the exact opposite
And decides, for the time being, against it

The front door bangs open,
Footsteps in the hall
Resisting that encompassing impulse,
He drops the blade, the butcher knife, back in
The drawer

"You need any help, Mother?"

I was crying out for help,
As those I loved died all around
The sounds of slashing and blood spurting
Are two of the most torturous sounds

I was looking frantically around for a while,
Looking for a way out
But no matter how hard I looked,
All exits became closed with doubt

I tried fighting solo,
But no man is an island
He may want to stand alone, the Gunslinger,
But he can't fight up a highland

So I finally gave up
I was drowning in the blood of helplessness
My revolvers had been completely destroyed
Leaving this Gunslinger defenceless

But a hand reached down through the gore,
And pulled me out of that sea
And when the problem was dealt with,
"Visionary, I thank thee".

When your friend says goodbye,
But she also says,
"I can't be here anymore
Nobody understands my pain"

What do I do?
I'm scared...

I'm tired of chasing,
Unwillingly hating
Everything and anything
That makes my mind all hazy
Maybe
If I understood things just a little
Better
Then maybe I'd be squeaky clean
From now till
Forever

But I love to hate, and hate born from society
That unfair mother-f_cker that destroyed the best of me
My own little sister
Whenever she needs comfort
Turns away from me and toward
Her supposed loving mother
Who harmed me with wicked lies
That made me die inside
And I cried
Determined into her past I pried
And I found something
I should've let go
But it's hard to release a part of your heart
When it's bound to you,
Y'know?

But I tried
It's a struggle to push through everyday
Memories and pictures that within my own mind
Sway
Amplified
By the natural instinct, desire to hide
To hide away someplace,
Give up and
Just
Die

But I gotta stay strong
Fight my urge to wrong
I at least owe that to a "happy family"
Those who wronged me
I see this with clarity
But it's the part of me that takes pride
In donating to charity
My split and splitting divisions
Mindset, shows
Insanity

But not the monster I hold
In the darkness he grows
Old
And even though I hold him
So close
He grows bold
And I try to make him obey
Doesn't do what he's told
This vicious beast of fangs and claws he
Loves to roar!

But control is necessary
Others better be wary
Of angering
The demon that can be
Me
So please, just leave me alone
Because I'm an archive that holds everything you ever
Did wrong
To *me!

A crutch, a walking stick
Use and abuse so sick of it
There for you when you can't move
Support your weight when you lose

But let me burn when you're cured
So ******* from all us tortured
Swinging in chains, bonded by pain
A snakes skin is all that changes

The venom still gleams crystal clear

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your hopeless desires

I'll just take a seat right here
Blindfold off its so **** clear
This cinema rolls the same tape
But it's hilarious to see your face

The devil on the big screen
You wanted attention, now act your scene
A snakes skin is all that changes
But your method never rearranges

The venom drips, so crystal clear...

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your faith has retired

Once again, called you out
It's hard to swim when drowning in doubt
I know, that riptide was far too strong
But in seeking help, I never did wrong

And your life is crumbling, as the venom drips

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your hopeless desires

So let me burn!
Playing with fire
Let! Me! Burn!
Your faith! Is!
Retired....

An acid that burns me up
Falling slowly, drop by drop

Too caught up in my own affairs
To really show that much care

Self-pity comes so easy
I don't show it much but my heart is bleeding

And once again, I pity myself
And shudder at the name of someone else

With all these voices in my head
And all the messages I've sent
All the replies I never get
They say forgive and then forget

Everything I've done has led to regret
And stood me up right on the edge
Feet halfway over the ledge
Wind in my face and what comes next?

A flashback to memories
With violent ends from violent deeds
I see them right before they bleed
And cold shivers run underneath

I've been called both crazy and insane
Like something's wrong inside my brain
To everyone else I'm not the same
I ain't normal, I ain't plain

But then again, I didn't want to be
It's not my fault I cause unease
I don't see what everyone else sees
I see dead men on their feet

Why fight on and be so strong
In a world where I don't belong?
Where everything has gone all wrong
From ongoing wars to the suicide song

I hear white noise when I walk
And whispering when I don't talk
A shadow behind that always stalks
Paranoid, eyes like a hawk

I'm sorry I'm not what you wish I was
But don't hate me just because
I don't meet your expectations
So give up on my resuscitation

*"You cannot revive the dead and ******"

I'm not a sheep amongst the flock but a wolf amongst the sheep
Not a carcass left to rot but the butcher slicing meat
Because someone gotta survive, and its gonna be me
You can pull the wool over my eyes but you'll end up losing sleep

See you can lie to my face but i can sniff out the truth
Not everybody's buying *******, we are wiser than our youth
I may have a young face but my soul is in pursuit
Of old age, divine space, that's ruthlessness for you

See my stamina is boundless and i have that pack mentality
I can toggle between the two, loyalty or reality
You can make all these promises, but you cant promise me
That you're not another poser because you reek of it to me

Imma howl at the stars just to keep you awake
Outside growling at your window just to drive you insane
Because you messed with a wolf and thats a fatal mistake
Now I'm putting pen to paper just to put you in your place

You, dont know what you're in for
You, aren't getting away
You, are already falling
And now, in your head, I'm here to stay

You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
You dont know what you're in for, and now you're going crazy

The possibilities are endless like the power of Infinity
You stop dead in your tracks like you just had an epiphany
You can't lose the trail when i **** my head, listening
Your voice trembles with fear and I'm feasting on the signaling

Your muscles race with adrenaline, a system overdrive
To face what you can't see admist the shadows of the night
All your senses quickening, preparing for the fight
Because you're in the corner now and there's nowhere left to hide

Hands shake, an earthquake, i hear the drumming of your heart
Jesus Christ, any faster and it could tear you apart
An explosion from the inside, you glow in the dark
From the heat that you expel like the embers of a dart

Eyes wide, pupils large you know this is your fate
Wishing you could go back but you know that it's too late
You meddled with a wolf and now you're filled with doubt
Things are getting serious: head down, claws out

You, don't know what you're in for
You, aren't getting away
You, are already falling
Check under your bed because the monster's here to stay

There's so much left to do,
And so little time,
With nothing left to lose
It's time to set things right

You can't play, Chinese Whispers
With me, because, I hear everything

You, don't know what you're in for...

You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
You, me, crazy
I've got so much in store, enough to drive you crazy

You, me, crazy
You, look, wasted
You, me, insanity
You don't know what you're in for, and now you're going crazy

So i sit here spinning my pen again
Tryna think straight too late, easy man
Runnin' up, too fuck3d i don't have a chance
Too quick, too slick, made it to the end

Now what should I write before i get sidetracked?
Should i spit a little quicker about rhymes and raps?
How about advertise them jumping jacks
And how exercise is good at keeping down bad fat?

Nah man, that ****t sounds lame
Yeah i know but the actions always stay the same
Eat Maccas life hackers who cant cook a meal
And wonderin' why their trusty rusty weight scales squeal

Yeah dude, i know that a problem, hold
No matter what you sell it all gets cold
Like frozen cokes, just a dollar fast sold
Syrup and sugar that tastes too good to close

**** these hoes,
Wash it all down like a fire hose,
Where this ****t goes even i don't knows,
But I'm the writer y'all
Pshh I'm in control

Its easy too
Whip out the cash and drive on thru
Without a second glance at whats in your food
And why do i try to write to you
I'm just in the mood

Now this ain't a diss track just spittin' facts
But if ya keep buying quick you'll get heart attack
Some cardiac, not police, still arrest
Freeze with both hands up like be my guest

You'll wake on up with an oxygen mask
And wondering why your mouth tastes like a$$
Why you layin' on your back and ya wanna pass gas
But you fear if you do then your life won't last

You look to the roof and see the truth
When the bulge of your belly blocks the blinding view
Casting a shadow across the next street too
And you wonder how the doctor gonna quick-fix you

Well here's some news, flash ****!ng headlines
Perhaps if you were careful you wouldn't hear the sirens
Alarms are sounding both within and without
Never heard either, your lips flap like a trout

Just a fat-**** fish ****!ng gasping for air
Out of his habitat, look in the mirror
Because if there's one thing left to haunt your nightmares
Its the 1-0-0 flashing back to scare

Its easy man, easy man
An everyday person who doesn't really care
Easy man eats like a ****** big bear
And then a little more coz the coin helps to share

Its easy man, easy man
An everyday person who doesn't really care
Easy man eats like a ****** big bear
And then a little more coz the coin helps to share

Like whats your pant size, is it such a surprise?
Your belt buckle bursts because you got large fries?
For every day, and you got sausage thighs
God help the plane freighting you through the skies!

Sorry sir, all luggage is 20 and under
"I cant hear you, my thighs are thunder"
Your baggage sir, its far too large
The amount of fat flesh exceeds the limit by far!

Just danglin' there, and its hard not to stare!
When its in my face like when i trip the stairs!
That s**t could knock me out, fair and square!
Miley Cyrus, i found a free wrecking ball dear!

There's so much to swing from, a chandelier
Of quivering pale skin that makes my eyes go weird
When you take a seat, do you have to use two?
Do you gotta pay extra for the crane that they use?

****, son just take it easy
You spittin so much its makin' me queasy

Sorry man, it doesn't make much sense
Why the easy man cant walk up more than one stair

Like not only is it an inconvenience
You're relying on strangers spaces to be lenient
And then you gotta wonder why you get funny looks
That weight is a crime and they spotted the crook

Just take it easy, but not so easy
I don't wanna see your face shine so god-**** greasy
Like i get it man you eat when you ain't hungry
I ain't your next meal stop lookin' funny

But please, learn to look after yourself
Book a time for the gym to improve yourself
Do some jumpin' jacks it'll improve your health
Take in a few notches off that black leather belt

See? Dude, that ain't so lame
At least there was a message left halfway sane
Yeah i got half a brain, it don't take two cells
To realise that some people just as sick as well

He was an easy man, easy man
A fat fast **** who didn't really care
Once upon a time ate like a ****!ng dumb bear
Now he's callin' out the Rock for an arm wrestle, YEAH!!

ahahahaha
Easily the easy man comes real quick,
Jumpin' jacks over the Hungry Jacks fix!

Time is the the most subtle
Illusion on the face of reality
Because sometimes, and we all get this,
Time speeds up for us or slows down

Confidence from self-assurance
Reassuring myself, ignoring disturbance
Pushing my feelings back, bottling them up
Ready to burst, to pop my top

An excuse to amuse
To use and abuse
All in the name of happiness
Suppressing my loneliness

Loner I am, I walk a lonely road
Yeah sure, only one I've ever known
Green day fan, not knowing where I'll go
But this is home to me so I walk alone

Destined to solitude
Friends come and friends go
Betrayal, distance or another path
Sure, I'm all alone, and I walk this road

It's filled with potholes, hills and unknown bumps
But no matter the state of disrepair, I only see crows
Some say I'm unique, different, one-of-a-kind
And where I'm going, nobody knows

I cause happiness on sight, and hatred sometimes
But I push on, negativity left behind
Sometimes it catches up, pulls me down
And whispers in my head, the only sound

The only thing constantly with me

As I walk down this dark alley
No sign of the end, no sights to see
Just voices, hatred, laughter and footsteps
Firmly fixed to a road unknown, firmly set

As I walk alone

As a fan of new beginnings,
I would like an end
To this existence made of dolls
All "perfect" and pretend

As fragile as the china that is the fabric
Woven into their souls
But not over the pit of hatred within
That emits through the holes

Pulsating wavelengths of bitter hatred
Black, odious and vile
An energy, the negative charge
That turns down many a smile

The friction within the air
That could tear it apart so easily
But is resisted by social norms...
"Perfection", all pretend..

So pick me up and let me fall
So I may shatter myself into pieces
That may reform into something better
Hiding away in niches...

*Afraid of confrontation and inspection, too strong....

A funny little word
Made up when I was hurt
Mesmerised
By the skies
I thought "what the **** is murderize?"

I say it to my friends
A humorous little joke
"I'll murderize your family
And on my **** they will choke."

They laugh and sputter
I guess I'm that amusing
Even when I joke about
Killing and abusing

They know I don't mean it
That I'm just *******
So if I say it to you
Know it don't mean ****

I look down at the blade
And see the scars that I engraved
A mark that'll forever stay and
Torture me every day...

Ignorance is bliss they say,
I never found it
When I was being put down
And they were shouting at me like
"You'll never rise up, you're nothing, ain't worth the time"
And it only gave me another excuse to rap and to rhyme
Expressing my feelings just to get it off my chest
While at the same time writing lines simply to be my best, it's a test
And so far I've been passing, they said I can't do it
But watch as I sonic speed right on through it
I'll defeat the Doctor Eggman and chill with my bud Tails
While you sitting in the corner pointing out all my fails
But I don't care, it's behind, another lesson learnt
So that I progress easier and don't be so badly hurt
I like to help others, a saint some would say
A blessing disguised as a kid you see everyday
But keyword is disguised, every man has his demons
They can be so bad that ol' skull-face takes to reapin'
But I haven't fallen yet, I still stand tall
On the hill, helpless just watching it all burn
I know I'm not liked, by many and still don't care
As long as I live happily then I ain't gonna be snared
By the concept that the best must have a good reputation
But solitude for some is the key to salvation
Why would you want to fit in with people that you don't like?
And when they try to conform you, tell em to take a hike

Star Gazer:  
How are you fellow poet?
I hope the burning sun is keeping you
Warm without knowing it
Through a thin veil of sky so blue.

Conor Blatchford:  
A pure veil of blue
It is beautiful, white fluffy clouds
Keening wind and lapping waves
The most pure of calming sounds

Star Gazer:
Waves rush the rocks
Though the sun pierces the clouds
Crashing, smashing and rumbling
Till the mountains come crumbling.

Conor Blatchford:  
Sun sets and darkness falls
The stars show themselves at night
Calm waves rippling
Reflecting that beautiful starlight

Star Gazer:
Though bright a light may be
The touch of a star is all but lost
When we ask of fun and glee
Amidst all the chaotic costs.

Walking down
This empty street
Crushing leaves
Like memories
Unwanted, unneeded,
Relentless and unheeded
As I decide
My worst memories must hide
Or stay and die,
Sneering, snarling, wishing to defy
The Law of the Master
Wishing to prevent disaster

So slowly does the guilty walk
When memories, like predators, stalk
Lurking in dark alleyways
Of the moonlit city of brainwaves

Crushing leaves
Like memories
Unwanted, unneeded,
Relentlessly unheeded

Everything I do just seems so wrong
Out of place, and I can't face, that I don't belong
I know we're all different, but I am different still
Every battle I've ever fought, I always fought uphill...

Another nobody in training to belong, to become
And maybe someday, I'll mean something to someone
Recognition for the things that I wish I hadn't done
And I'm done....
Nothing was ever perfect, and so nothing I've become

Nothing was ever perfect, and now I am No-One

I get told to let it go
But I try and just don't know
If it's possible to let things lie
As still as a man willing to die

I've tried before; it didn't work
Instead of peace I went bezerk
All my efforts, meant a total of nothing
And this pain is why I sing

I don't know if I'll be okay
I don't know if I'll be alright
Maybe, someday,
But tonight things are the same
It hasn't changed

It hasn't changed, I will not lie
When you ask for news I will not deny
The truth, the facts, the whole **** case
That at times I wish I was erased

When I get put down I get back up
This vicious cycle never stops
I've tried to break this bonding chain
But I wouldn't sing were it not for pain

I don't know if I'll be okay
I don't know if I'll be alright
Maybe, someday,
But tonight things are the same
And it hasn't changed!

Will it ever change?
It hasn't changed!
Will it ever change?
Because it's boring when this pain
Stays the same

Well here i am, done being victim
Of thicker than bricks people who just won't listen
This is me letting go, final words
This is me breaking this ******* curse

When you try to help like the Fox to the Snake
Trust misplaced realising too late
Turned around and bit me like wait
I knew it all along now i know the game

Play on your mind and run it over
Like they always drunk driving don't know sober
Hopeless when again he told me so
I never learn coz i hold out hope!

Curtain calls I'm releasing the rope
Turned it into a noose this crow could choke
Liked to hear my pain when i turn insane
Over the fact that neither of us can really let go

I know you know i dont make mistakes twice
Reinforced by the fact that he wished suicide
Except I'm smart don't be a ******
Eminems words become something that hits real hard!

Asking for advice and i try to play nice
You played ***** and i tried that thrice
Told him about how i tried the knife
Can't keep your mouth shut so you run it like strife

Is all you cause my pain cause and effect
The effect you had slowly turned negative
Now we're back to strangers, these words are saviours
And steer me clear of ****, these top notch sailors!

Well the streets are flowing with slick spilled blood
Tsunami on the road causing a flood
You can't see at all you'd probably run
Into it like you do with drama for fun!

Well this **** is over, twas a good game
Insane you brought out but huh well played
Made me doubt my reasons to stay
Made me doubt twice now I've run away

All i ever did never once said thanks
Smelt the poison a mile off that **** smells rank
Ranked among the stupid that had such faith
Can't stop you sinking i came too late

I did so much for what little it was worth
Like Linkin Park I'm breaking this curse
Smash old habits, rap like a rabbit
Reach for the door, turn this handle I'm grabbing!

Huh, but i guess you'll never learn
That my mind is energy that makes me burn
So these fireproof gloves handle flaming doves
I'm a Phoenix ******* and you get no love

Thought you could come up in my grill and ignite me, start beef
Well imma cook you through and through until it ruins your week
Because you're a waste of space and meat to me, honestly
I'd rather pull my teeth out with pliers and then slit all my arteries

The ****t that spills out from your mouth, no doubt
That people would rather meet the Father than live in your drought
Not sure which is worse, your words or Beck's bottled beer
When it comes to drying out my love of good things its unclear

Just for the record that ****t is liquid Vegemite
And it'll blow your a$$hol3 open like a six pack of dynamite
I'll stick by the bottles of ***** and my shots of tequila
Then whatever the f**k you call those bars, like
Terminator over being weird!

Respect and accept
The memories you regret
Because each is a lesson
That you'd better not forget

A lesson to learn
And some time to burn
It may be quite difficult
Some are hard to discern

But don't be concerned
Unless you haven't learnt
Only then will you know
How much revenge can hurt

You'll catch me by the sidewalk sitting down and rocking
Majority of people look down but keep on walking
They don't understand the pain like electric shocks to the brain
That make you forget your name, what you stand for seems insane

Where chaos reigns and the brave die, it's easy to get lost
Pulled into a vacuum so abyssal the will to live is forgot
Where the blood is Paracetamol, where it hurts like it's physical
Numb like a vegetable yet hungry like a cannibal

Starving where food is plentiful
Dehydrated when you're forgetful
You know you're mental
And it's as smooth as Butter Menthol

Attached to your bed like it's the only safe haven
Wondering if like a ruin, you're broken and breaking
When vultures circle up high and your eyes are gouged by ravens
The dark thick ooze makes you realise... you need saving

HIM: Chaos

Me: My definition is but a simple play on words. To give life meaning. Chaos is in everything, true. Even in perfection, because things such as ****** can be seen as a perfect disarray of mental instability and flawless art, so really, Chaos is an art. Are you saying that life is but a painting of art, a description of life through poetry, of a musical symphony that wears away with time?

HIM**: Whatever you're on, I want some

I got another problem, another chance to solve em
But I'd rather lay under the sky and let my mind dissolve and
Sink into the ground, feel the breath leave my chest
In puffy dragon smoke that trails off into the sunset...

Yeah its a little cold, so what
I can run away into my mind and happily be lost
The spiralling air, that greys out with the frost
Can keep me fixated, dilated pupils gloss

With the wind in my hair as I lay without a care
See the clouds in the skies, only go where eagles dare
But I see myself riding one, a cotton ball so light
I'm feeling so relaxed that if I imagine it  just might

Happen and I'm feeling good, feeling pretty fly
I could drift across the air without even having to try
My clothes become the parachute to stop my every fall
Pick myself up, dust off, answer the call

Life picks me up like a wave deep into space
Drifting with the asteroids, spinning like a dinner plate
Caught inside, warm and cosy like a microwave
Open up the door, and I'm as baked as a cake

Grab a slice, I know I'm nice, don't bite me hard be gentle
Tasty just erase me sliding down, I'm feeling mental
Dancing to the sound, the humming through the ground
That makes me see my ears hum, drumming feeling loud

Yet quiet as a butterfly, a fragile autumn leaf
Falling on a windy May, from the branch its been set free
Peaceful like "what's evil", is it live re-arranged?
Watching every play from the back row, but standing centre stage

Every film and every cut where the recording isn't right,
But they keep on anyway to a deadline without a time
Set, and so upset and so depressed i see the fall
Before they get the chance to bow, it's become a curtain call

It's a shame to see such pain when the peace is but a leaf
Independence like the ones that fall, floating down a creek
In the eye of the beholder is the beauty first viewed
Tell me; for good or worse, that's all up to you

Everything that you pursue, do it for the better
And when you are successful be sure to capture every letter
And never let go, always hold the memory close
As though it is the cure to pain you could never do before

The say silence is golden,
But I think it more like stone
Hits you cold and hard
When you realize you're alone

Seeing figures in the shadows,
Faces on the walls
So go on, face the silence:
Think you got the *****?

Well you'll be thinking twice
When your blood spatters the walls

And here I am just chillin alone, so cold to the bone more frozen than Frozone
Hypothermia, doctor doctor
Got places to be can't you fix me up faster

This avalanche is ever-lasting
Pass the parcel the pain aint past it
Waiting on a whim is it really worth it
Honour and duty but so close to deserting

Flee and be free of fear containment
Constricted and closed off, self-enslavement
Harden up and be tough, roadworks and pavement
Detour and derail to prevent persuasion

Tactical retreat the feet beats down
Live to fight another day or be six feet under ground
The silent treatment is a healing sound
But the heart beats cleanly too lost to be found

No map could make or break this problem
I got a little lost now I'm tryna solve it
Never used the stars to guide my path
But if i have no faith I'm ****** to die fast

It is all too easy to blame yourself
It is even easier to blame someone else
It is harder to accept the truth, even when the truth is,
You messed up

It's easy for me to write a song,
I hum the bars and sing along
Music stirring in my brain
That I can't release so I go insane

I just hope that by posting lyrics
Someone will know what I meant to do with it
That someone will have my music in their head
And that shared like telepathy will be the lullaby to bed

An Angel of Life,
Walks through the night
Bladed weapon and an offer
To leave it all behind

She came to me....
She came for me....

She looked into my eyes,
It was no surprise
That they were wide with fear
Coz' I didn't wanna die

She spoke to me....
She talked to me...

"Honestly who would care,
If you died?
You've got an inner demon
And he feasts on your insides"

She showed me....
She handed me....

Her bladed weapon,
A rather sharp knife
I was to draw it across my throat
And let my throat bleed out my life

She tempted me....
She tempted me....

I switched my grip,
And threw it away
"Maybe some day I'll die
But that day isn't today"

She looked at me....
And I realized...

She was testing me,
Tempting me,
To give up
My right to breathe

She was testing me,
Tempting me....

She was testing me,
Tempting me,
To give up
My right to breathe

Toying with me....
Playing with me....

She looked into my eyes,
And faded away
I know another day that
I will speak with her again

She freed me,
Released me.....
Sweet victory...
She tested me.....

An Angel of Life,
Walks through the night,
Bladed weapon and an offer
To leave it all behind

She tempted me....
Tested me....

It's all just cause and effect,
Protect and reject
Detect and defect,
Discard and collect

Trust in the trash,
Liars mix and match
Selling you the shady ****
That destroys every pact

Getting luck from a draw
The Irish in me is called
As my number is pulled
Adrenaline is pulled forth

But here is my call,
The Misfortunate fall
Around me stands doors
And all lead to closed corridors....

I may not be positive,
But I'm not exactly negative

There are the whispers that call the crows and these crows are numbered three. They are named Gullibility, Doubt and Misery

If ever a time you lose your strength or become lost amongst the pain, then these three crows will ensure you never find your way

Gullibility you see, with eyes as black as mud, has razor claws always red for he always draws first blood

Doubt is quite plain but with ruffled feathers greyed. Not so much the specialist, but is best amongst the plague

And finally swoops Misery, bloodied beak on black. The final move in a worn out soul, Death's merciful attack

Crows circle high above
Cawing to each other, calling
Then down, down, down they come
Lightly they are falling

“I wish I could fly away too,”
I whisper up into the air
“So I could go somewhere nicer
And avoid these hostile glares”.

“I wish I could fly away
To a place where I am not wrong
To a place where I fit in
Somewhere I belong”.

I look down from the sky again,
Back down to the floor.
Sink to my knees upon the concrete
With the weight for years I bore.

“I wish I could just fly away”,
I say again out loud.
I don’t realize I’m crying
Releasing the pain I found.

“Soar away on the winds,
As easily as they do”
I gesture to the crows above,
“So I can get away from you.”

I look down at my hands now,
For I realize I am bleeding
The pain is just trickling away
And my inner demons are feeding.

I now comprehend my mistake
For that way is so wrong
But this is something I cannot handle
For I am not that strong

I’m in a pool of blood now
As I fall down to the ground
My vision starts to go woozy
My head begins to pound

“I wish I could fly away,”
I whisper my last words
But as I die I’m all alone
So these words remain unheard.

I wanna raise my voice
Hear my words carried off on stale air
As I gaze all around
I feel the judging stares

SHUT! THE! ****! UP!
Why can't I just be me?
SHUT! THE! ****! UP!
Why is this so hard?

I wanna run, I wanna hide
Can't release what I feel inside
It tears me apart, so slowly
I wanna go, can't stay anymore
Curl into a ball and....

Death marches the streets,
A parade of defeat
Showing off these victims

They all look like me...
******

You drown me in my hatred
Sanity, taken from me, confiscated
Removed without consent
And it gets better yet

GET THE **** OUT OF MY MIND
I don't need you, I'd rather be alone
Leave me to my sorrow, my misery
END! ME!

I scream in complete silence
Subdued by my mind, red with violence
Fingers twitch and bones rattle
Fighting me, is my hardest battle

*And I've not won yet