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Is having self-pity
So much different than lying?
A poem every day.
Closed inside a bubble of self pity
Thoughts of events gone wrong inside me
Trapped with no air to breathe in
Stuck in this reality for what it is believed in

There’s nothing worse than a girl desperate for love:

A girl that pities herself enough to think she is so intrinsically broken
she couldn’t even connect with someone biologically destined to love her;
A girl stupid enough to learn that love is a reward that she must earn,
yet frantic enough to always work too hard for it;
A girl that overcompensates. Begs. Forces.
A girl that claims she ‘Doesn’t know what to do with love’
when it comes along, so that, naturally, she can smother it;
A girl who’s biggest fear is abandonment, yet is an expert on expecting too much;
A girl that’s waiting to be saved, but would tell you she doesn’t deserve it;
A girl that still obsesses over ways she has been bruised
when surrounded by people that have helped her heal;
A girl who’s self involved, with no sense of self;
A girl that cries. And cries. And cries.

There’s nothing worse than a girl desperate for love.
Infinity Jan 14
I’m starving
Starved for security
Starved for salvation
Starved for serenity
The loneliness is tearing me to bits and pieces
I choose to scatter towards
Those who feign interest in the bits of me I dare to share
Florence says we all have a hunger
I must agree, for tears spring to my eyes at the words of her song
I’m starving for validation
Validate me!

5 4 3 2 1
It’s late at night, it has begun
I search for the saddest songs in my library
As sadness and loneliness create a cocktail
That slowly creeps into my bloodstream
Pumps into my heart
Spreads back into my body, mind and soul
Then the tears at the corners of my eyes spill onto my cheeks
And I drift into a dreamless sleep
Sarah Isma Nov 2018
I shouldn’t complain my loneliness,
because it is all self-applied,
The feelings i want to nourish,
They were all made up of such lies,
For it was i who imagined to be yours,
And it was i who longed to be loved,
The joy of wanting a partner,
I pretend to smile at you through a mirror,
I was foolish enough to let these emotions get to my head,
Although in some aspects I don’t think we have ever properly met,
In the distance of your glory all that i see,
Was another fate that was just not meant to be.
I guess i enjoy spending my saturday nights occasionally watching romantic comedies and reading jane austen, just squeezing my lonely heart unconsciously in pain, why do i enjoy it? I have no idea, but I can’t complain about it too much, if I’m able to dig this unnecessary thoughs up, then i should be able to fill back.
Katinka Nov 2018
when something tragic happens
people are there for us
they go with us through the break up
through death and pain
but with depression it is diffrent

because it doesn´t end
but people get sick of hearing
you are not fine

they want to see you recover
but I can´t
Depression is not a sickness you can get over

It follows you around
like a cloud blocking the sun
and now and then rain will pour down
and it will all come crashing in

It´s the never ending feeling of pain
of panic
of nothing

and then I feel bad
and I´ll self-pity myself
and now I feel so stupid
because there are people
people who have it worse

and here I am
drowning in self-pitiness

but that is exactly what depression feels like

It feels like I am drowning
while everyone else is breathing just fine

It feels like the fear you have when you miss a step
but you never reach the ground
so the fear won´t go away

It feels like ropes tie you down
you can not move
can not stand

I can not do anything
do anything right

and all I want is this to end
but the only solution seems so hard to procide
not even that, I can do

I am not doing good
but no one wants to hear about it
because it has been to long
without improvment
so I´ll just fake it
maybe if I tell myself long enough
I am fine
I will be
Hannah Christina Aug 2018
I'm rummaging through my messy-closet mind for the choice bits of delectable emotional pain
The agony that come from being the complex and bitter soul I am

But I'm not finding any

I'm actually fairly happy.
Moderately cheerful.
Not floating on clouds, or manic, or bursting with energy.

Just... pretty good.  Quite alright.

This isn't good for poetry.

Or self pity.

What do I do now?
My life is just SO mildly, boring-ly difficult rn.  My mental stability is driving me crazy!

What did I just say?
Donovan G Loman Aug 2018
I sat on an island of failure,
too afraid to set out and become a sailor.
One day, I laid my eyes upon a mermaid,
the sight of which caused my fears to fade,
and my heart to be set aflame.
So I built up a mighty ship
constructed of grit and what felt to be valor,
and sailed off to battle the waves.
Hoping, praying,
that it was my heart she would crave.
I kissed her on the cheek,
and in that moment she would not speak.
She disappeared into the drink,
and with her, my heart began to sink.
The floorboards creaked and moaned,
for you see,
my confidence had been overthrown.
My ship crumbled into the sea,
taking with it my courage,
and me.
Donovan G Loman Jul 2018
I've fallen head over heels,
attracted like a moth to a lamp.
Too close to the flames I flew,
and in fire I have been consumed.
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