Day after day
And a night before tonight
Knight after knight
Lost lives climbing your height
You are a mountain
You are the moon
Don't pretend you are not the light
You are a thousand year of dreams
You are a life time of hopes
And without you...
I'm just a lost kite

I have a time zone of my own
I can stay from dusk to dawn
I feel like a dead meadow
I can't sense life,
I can't even moan

In a silky forest
In a shape of a golden rose
Wandered back and forth
Waved her forgiveness
Blessed me with her mercy
With the gift of her soul
Madam, I have no soul left
My body is just a dust
I'm a graveyard...
I'm an immortal guest
I'm no one if not in her chest
Her treasured smile
Her lovely sight
Her heavenly touch
Her misty lips
Her eternal nest
I'm just a graveyard...
I'm just an immortal guest

Maybe it's just because I'm bleeding inside
Or it's because I'm no body and cannot be found
Or it's the bad luck that is always by my side
Or it's the wound that hurts and won't subside
Or it's the skies that never rain nor have a cloud
Or it's my green fields that I love but never find
Or maybe it's just who I am, a man with no pride

With your heart,
I’m blessed
With your soul,
I’m dressed

Make me a nest
Make me the best
Make me a world
Where I can rest

You deserve my life
You deserve even more
You deserve my soul
You can own my own

I want to tell the world everything
I want to uncover my biggest sin
I want to admit what I've done bad
But the ice on the lake is really thin
I'm the lion who scares the jungle
Even a crowed of armed men
I rule thousands of acres by myself
Nobody can get near or step in
But I can't hold back the burning fact
That makes me crying deeper within
How can I go on with my life
When the lioness has left the den

Black and white
In between, I fall
I’m a scale to black
And the shade of white
I’m the color of no color
I’m the dusk, I’m the night
I’m the soul of all colors
I’m the glimpse after light
I’m the “G” in Green
I’m the “R” in Red
I’m the “A” in Aqua
I’m the “Y” in You
And you are my delight

If my love can last like a river
If my heart when I see you, shivers
If my promises can make you better
Would you accept me in your life forever?

Abdullah Ayyash
April 24th, 2014

I can create your world
I can even destroy it all
I’m not a reckless man
Nor someone wants to fall

I just want to live a life
Where your light is the call
Where happiness is the pillar
And your love is the whole

Abdullah Ayyash
April 08th, 2014

I do as well agree
This world is a sad one indeed
Earth can never be a place of peace
When evil still spread its seeds
Earth can never be home again
When selfishness continue to breed
History told us its tales
With the voice of its victims
And written when they bleed
Cut those pages in million pieces
And make them fire's feed
No magic wand can solve everything
It's only justice, what we really need

No matter what your decision was
Or what it has done to me
No matter if you think of me now
Or what you’re doing with thee
No matter how hurt I am
Or if you think you set me free
No matter if I still miss you
Or I still want to climb your tree
No matter how many days I still have
Or how I lost my past waiting on my knee
Nothing really matters now
Or tomorrow, if it’s ever going to be

My little box, tell me the truth
I can't see brightness
I can't hear happiness
I'm torn in little pieces
I'm within fire storm
My little box, don't blame me
When I miss my torturer
When I miss my torture
When I miss my pain
My little box, it's not your fault
It's my fault to love
It's my fault to trust
It's my fault to be hurt
I'm the only one to blame
My little box, show me
The way to my agony
Feed me with your misery
Jail my hopes and dreams
And have me put to sleep
My little box, grant my wishes
To never have a life
To never be happy
To never wish for coming days
And never let her leave you again

I pity all broken hearts
Filled with spears and darts
How could people be cruel
To hurt what's behind all arts

Homeless, is all that it is now
Living beside a waste bin
With no walls for warmth in winter
Not even a door to let you in

My heart wants to reach out
Asking you for a place to live
This can't be the end of life
There's still something called love

Writing something when you're full
Makes you mix up lion with bull
When you stay off the kitchen
Your stomach feels some itching
Later maybe have some tea
Having too much makes you ***
Take some time to digest
This way you can say the best

Sometimes...
The emptiness of words is all I read
The silence of music is all I hear
A blank page of mystery
Sums up my life
With a muted cry
And a single tear

Sometimes...
I give up all my defences
I have nothing to lose
And nothing to gain
Nothing but aches
With a muted cry
And a single tear

As Jim said in the past
There used to be a time
When simple things
Used to be enough
There used to be a time
When you can win a heart
With a smile in your face
There used to be a time
When you can build a castle
From the words you trust
There used to be a time
When music can be played
While souls embrace
There used to be a time
When I can see my future
And let go of my past
Jim was nothing but a thought
When I used to believe in love
When I used to believe it could last

The sea is becoming rapidly salty
No matter how much skies rain
The waves are strongly agitating
And my ship can no longer sustain

So again and again and again
I want you to look at my vane
I want you to be so much closer
I want you to heal all of my pain

White cloud stepped down to earth with fears
Pure soul and free spirit were all mixed with tears
I can’t describe how beautiful that scene was
Or how much grace and rain that cloud has
Watching that cloud approaching me with anticipation
Should I move forward or I count my steps with hesitation
White cloud, how could you move without your wind?
How could you possibly travel and reach this end?
I was far away but all I could think of was you
I was dreaming of the day when I can finally see you
You were the love that brought me from my place
I moved faster than your voice to orbit your space
Here I am now and here we have finally met
I’m in your heart now where I can forever rest

Valentine is over
One door has closed
Others can't be open
Valentine is over
Can't seem to fit in
I'm just a burden
Valentine is over
This year is history
Next year is frozen
Valentine is over
Happiness is red
Sad clown is in bed
Valentine is over
Dreams are weaved
Hope is my holder

Like a spear
Running through my veins
Like a million galaxy
Skies passed with rains
I feel distant
Abandoned
Swimming in shame
Running away from laughter
From happiness you drained
From the sun that hides
When you rise dark memories
I wish my days would go back
Before my heart won its battle
Before realizing that by winning
The war was not really over
Come back with your army again
Bash me with misery
Rip my soul in pieces
**** my existence
Bury me deeper and deeper
Let there be no more of me
Then dive again
In your river of flame

When I lay in bed,
Trying to sleep.
When I close my eyes,
Thinking so deep.
When it becomes too late,
I fall asleep.
When I dream of a dream,
I can’t upkeep.
When all my senses,
Start to seep.
To the nonexistence,
Want to creep.
That’s the moment,
Forever,
I want to keep.

Abdullah Ayyash
October 2nd, 2010

A fine line, in between
The life I have and my dream
My sheets are freezing
My passion is breezing
My lonely bed is cold
I may not be the one
Who wipes your tears
I may not be the soul
You lit, to warm yours
I’m just one more fading soul,
Has more tears to tear
And more fears to fear
Just one more broken heart
Needs to find its destined island,
In your stormy ocean
Needs to survive its destined life,
When sipping your potion
Look at me with your hazy eyes
Hold me close with your love
And let your lips, be my salvation

It's a story of a man
Who dived too deep
It's a story of a life
And wonder and heap
It's a story of a mystery
And junk to sweep
It's a story of music
That puts you to sleep
It's a story of a journey
With tears that seep
It's a story of memories
Force you to weep
It's a story of a turtle
With dreams to leap
It's a story of everything
But nothing to keep

I need incentive to write
To think
To imagine
Living a happy life
I need a heart
A replacement
To the misery
You planted with your knife
I need my time
To be back
Without struggles
When we fight
I need air
To breath
To feel my lungs
Exhaling you out
I need light
To see
To spot you
Leaving my sight
I need ears
To hear
To despise
The lies you weaved so tight
I need my mind
To forget
The promises you say
Then **** over night
I need incentive to write
To warn others
To tell innocents
How all this was never right

Tell her what has been taken
Is being given a better life
Tell her what has gone
Is coming back in a different form
Tell her the tears she was shedding
Won’t go away
It’s saturating new souls
To blossom again in her life

Storming rain
The sound of life
Deeply drains
Into a strife

Only my age
Lives in my booth
Becomes my cage
My future, my truth

It’s just some tears
No one should care
Fighting my fears
Do not despair

To finally cope
Severely drifts,
My promising hope
Is what has left

An invitation from a guest in the past
The bed I'm in now won't be the last
Life isn't fair and you know that's true
You were not honest when you got me through
I don't know if I shed my tears or hide
From you or the pain that won't subside
The castle is closed now and not like before
When my heart was the room and my arms were the door

I want to scream my deepest fear
Uncover my deepest sin
Admit my wrongdoings
But the ice under me
Is very thin

The lion inside of me
Who scars the jungle
And fight an army of angry men
Can't fight the loneliness anymore
Or the sadness, deeper within
His lioness has gone
His lioness has left the den

My world is not like other worlds that sear
My world is more like heavenly wide sphere
My world has no bitter sadness nor tears of tear
My world has no lies to lie nor fears to fear

When I raise my eyes above all the mustiness,
My world has blue skies splattered with whiteness
My world has misty horizon fighting brightness
My world has huge trees carrying greatness

I’m all by my self ruling my world that never fades
Sitting with pride on top of my hill, from gold is made
Like a brave lion holding his shiny sharpened blades
Watching his river filled with precious valued preys

Take me,
     wherever you go,
          take my soul
Have me,
     whenever you want,
          have me all
I’m here for you and I’m there with you
Send me your cloud and let it rain over me
Let your grace embraces my wounded heart
The cut is so deep
Your mercy is in need
Take me,
     have me,
          or forever...
               put me to sleep

Abdullah Ayyash
June 19th, 2013

A wish was made above the stars
Bring me the light from deep within

I'm gonna take a wild guess
I'm gonna play you a blind chess
I'm gonna tell you how to deem
I'm gonna build you in my dream
You're an angel in a white gown
You're the diamond in my crown
You're the light glowing wide
You're the prayer I always hide
Now I'm awake and cannot see
Now I'm crying inside your sea
Now I'm handing you my last plea
Now I'm giving you all of me

No cold and no heat
Can make my heart beats
Not the fire in my soul
Not the days I lived
Not the nights I waited
Would make me retreat
From claiming your love
And hoping for a glorious treat

Happiness won't come from a chest
Nor fear if you have nothing to hide
Keep the box or throw it away
It's only wood that catches fire

You can't expect much from a box
You only get what you put inside
Dreams are true once we live them
When sadness sneaks in with lies

My mind is not like yours
My life goes on different road
My soul is shattered in million pieces
My heart is freezing with this cold

I need some rhythm to put my soul
The way it was, the way it ruled
I need some music to let my heart
Be warm again and be restored

Are you the rhythm I’m looking for?
Are you the soul, I want to hold?
Are you the music I need it to,
Warm my heart and make it gold?

I read some words here and there
I read some words on this board
If they have meaning, let it shows
If they do, they should be told

Abdullah Ayyash
October 22nd, 2010

Wandering and taking a hike
Nothing but pain all over the place
A breeze of suffer coming from the west
It was life putting smile on my face
Now it's just tears mixed with dust
When I opened the door of memories
Have mercy on the beating clock
I can't overcome flooded misery
Or keep my heart in a decent pace

I'm the victim of my own
          actions
                    when you say you love me

I'm the enemy of my own
          heart
                    when you try to hold me

I'm the phantom of my own
          reality
                    when you dream about me

I'm the closed door of my own
          life
                    when you try to free me

I'm the past of my own
          future
                    when you decide to leave me

It's a mountain
Huge rock
Life obstacle
When you see me

It's a challenge
Promising future
Beautiful glory
From my side

I am a soul
Lovely smile
Determent hope
Not a tear drop

I am feelings
Pure spirit
Nested dreams
Not a sympathy

Send me your heart
Don't walk me through
Don't hold me back
Love knows its way

You can’t recognize me
You don’t know how I look,
How I live,
Or how I breath

You can’t feel me
You don’t know how I cry,
How I laugh,
Or how I fear

You can’t realize me
You don’t know how I walk,
How I sit,
Or how I sleep

You can’t sense me
You don’t know how I touch,
How I listen,
Or how I speak

You can’t see me
You can’t shape me
You can’t save me
You can’t **** me

You can only see me
When you always,
And forever,
Love me....

Beauty,
          is what she looks like
Sadness,
          within her light
Darkness,
          comes with her presence
Wings,
          carry me in the night
Mountains,
          hold us way behind
Winds,
          when skies are tight
Luck,
          is all what we need
Happiness,
          is far from my sight
Future,
          is not coming through
God,
          please make things right

A year ago…
The story I know
Tears are deep
They won’t seep
Love in need
Hope to keep
Two hearts died
One soul disappeared
Life won’t be the same
Forever…

I can feel it all coming
It won’t heel everything
But it's going to make my day

I will give you my magical treat
To never leave my sight
And never beg you to stay

I can’t hide my affection
I won’t tell you to predict
But I hope you cross my way

I can't reach the moon or see,
The glowing stars of thee
I can't fly like birds
Or get closer to your beds
I can't dive into your ocean
Or enjoy your pearl of devotion
I can't word the word of peace
If this love means to chase
I can't win this long war
When you just wave from far
Don't judge my poor broken heart
Or the lonely soul struck by darts
It's only the evil heart of yours
When you shut all of your doors
I've lost the lost lion in me
With the kind of man I want to be
Now the warrior in me is dead
By the glimpse of hope, you've killed

Curtains are up and here I am
Facing the crowds on my knee
I smile when I'm dying inside
Then cry when no body see
I sang all my songs until I dropped
When my voice has silenced me
Everyone thought it was the end
I even believed and agreed
My theory in life is just doors
One door shuts and one is free
All my doors are closed now
So please God, accept my plea

Hopeless, is what I've become
I don’t fool myself
I don’t shed a single tear
I don’t submit with fear
I accept willingly
Tears become fuel
Fear becomes power
That’s what you’ll ever see
When I cry silently

Abdullah Ayyash
(12/09/2014)

Surprise surprise what can I say?
My life is rolling all over again
I cannot pretend it's not déjà vu
It must be the soul I cannot sustain
It's like a curse was put in my way
Inside a gift was dipped in some pain
For mercy, I beg you to help me my Lord
Don't let me inhale my memories again

Nights are becoming so boring
I hate to write you a sad song
I want to tell you that I hate you
And everything we did was wrong
But the truth is quite the opposite
I’m really lost and for you, I long
My heart has never stopped bleeding
It’s never gonna be that strong
Life is short and becoming shorter
When I once believed that we belong?