Writing something when you're full
Makes you mix up lion with bull
When you stay off the kitchen
Your stomach feels some itching
Later maybe have some tea
Having too much makes you ***
Take some time to digest
This way you can say the best

The sea is becoming rapidly salty
No matter how much skies rain
The waves are strongly agitating
And my ship can no longer sustain

So again and again and again
I want you to look at my vane
I want you to be so much closer
I want you to heal all of my pain

Life can't be half way through
Nor happiness if it's not within
You can't get to heavens with a dream
If you don't go all the way in

Maybe it's just because I'm bleeding inside
Or it's because I'm no body and cannot be found
Or it's the bad luck that is always by my side
Or it's the wound that hurts and won't subside
Or it's the skies that never rain nor have a cloud
Or it's my green fields that I love but never find
Or maybe it's just who I am, a man with no pride

As Jim said in the past
There used to be a time
When simple things
Used to be enough
There used to be a time
When you can win a heart
With a smile in your face
There used to be a time
When you can build a castle
From the words you trust
There used to be a time
When music can be played
While souls embrace
There used to be a time
When I can see my future
And let go of my past
Jim was nothing but a thought
When I used to believe in love
When I used to believe it could last

A year ago…
The story I know
Tears are deep
They won’t seep
Love in need
Hope to keep
Two hearts died
One soul disappeared
Life won’t be the same
Forever…

A fine line, in between
The life I have and my dream
My sheets are freezing
My passion is breezing
My lonely bed is cold
I may not be the one
Who wipes your tears
I may not be the soul
You lit, to warm yours
I’m just one more fading soul,
Has more tears to tear
And more fears to fear
Just one more broken heart
Needs to find its destined island,
In your stormy ocean
Needs to survive its destined life,
When sipping your potion
Look at me with your hazy eyes
Hold me close with your love
And let your lips, be my salvation

I'm not known for weaving dreams
I'm only a scream from a nightmare
I would settle for a peaceful moment
To dream of watching your beauty glare
If crossing seas will bring us closer
If climbing mountains will make us pair
Then mark my word that I'm coming
To win all battles and claim you there

Hopeless, is what I've become
I don’t fool myself
I don’t shed a single tear
I don’t submit with fear
I accept willingly
Tears become fuel
Fear becomes power
That’s what you’ll ever see
When I cry silently

Abdullah Ayyash
(12/09/2014)

It takes only one glimpse
To see the ocean in her eyes
You dive in without warning
To keep diving to the deepest point
With no return
You know that's the one you need
You realize that's the destiny you seek
The endless happiness to reach for
The dream you've been following all of your life
The moment of love from the first sight
The weakest point of your life
When you're ready to submit your soul
To someone you've yet to say hi!

Surprise surprise what can I say?
My life is rolling all over again
I cannot pretend it's not déjà vu
It must be the soul I cannot sustain
It's like a curse was put in my way
Inside a gift was dipped in some pain
For mercy, I beg you to help me my Lord
Don't let me inhale my memories again

Spears from eyes
Devour your face
Repeal reality of you

No matter what your decision was
Or what it has done to me
No matter if you think of me now
Or what you’re doing with thee
No matter how hurt I am
Or if you think you set me free
No matter if I still miss you
Or I still want to climb your tree
No matter how many days I still have
Or how I lost my past waiting on my knee
Nothing really matters now
Or tomorrow, if it’s ever going to be

Curtains are up and here I am
Facing the crowds on my knee
I smile when I'm dying inside
Then cry when no body see
I sang all my songs until I dropped
When my voice has silenced me
Everyone thought it was the end
I even believed and agreed
My theory in life is just doors
One door shuts and one is free
All my doors are closed now
So please God, accept my plea

Wandering and taking a hike
Nothing but pain all over the place
A breeze of suffer coming from the west
It was life putting smile on my face
Now it's just tears mixed with dust
When I opened the door of memories
Have mercy on the beating clock
I can't overcome flooded misery
Or keep my heart in a decent pace

You can't uncover the future
If you never tease your fate
Knock the door you want now
Before it becomes really late
Love can happen with a glance
When your courage is the bait

There's something in life I can't debate
It's an ugly argument no one can win
I know that love won't fit in my life
When the world we must revive
          is just nothing but an utter sin

Rain drops and cold wind
Cold wind that never stopped
Cold body to warmth in need
Dark fell, when light is red

Love is lost, to hope has begged
To head my heart to home I loved
Home ahead? What is home?
It’s a word, to brain has fed

Home to live? I just know!
It's a life, I could’ve lived
Now it’s not how I remember
Now it’s dark, now it’s wrecked

It has doors can’t be open
It had charm now it’s missed
It had soul but it’s broken
This can’t be the home I loved

October 20th, 2010

My gift to you,
The shadow of my memory
My gift is you...
When you cast on my misery

Sorrow eyes, like sunset
Sallow voice, like a broken flute
Get back to the world...

Sunny skies, when you smile
Happy birds, when you speak
Keep happiness alive...

It's love, you must retain
In my memories, you should remain
Get back to my world...

Abdullah Ayyash
April 25th, 2014

To optimists, cheerful and hopeful men
The rain will wipe down all sand castles
The mellow fields,
         where I grow my dreams
Die slowly under my autumn trees
Blue skies get darker with every sin
The ocean gets utterly mad,
          when carrying nothing but desperate men
And the faces I once loved are getting dull
I don't need a hand as I can't reach
I don't need a lighthouse as I lost my sight
I don't need a day as I can't surpass the night

I can't reach the moon or see,
The glowing stars of thee
I can't fly like birds
Or get closer to your beds
I can't dive into your ocean
Or enjoy your pearl of devotion
I can't word the word of peace
If this love means to chase
I can't win this long war
When you just wave from far
Don't judge my poor broken heart
Or the lonely soul struck by darts
It's only the evil heart of yours
When you shut all of your doors
I've lost the lost lion in me
With the kind of man I want to be
Now the warrior in me is dead
By the glimpse of hope, you've killed

In a silky forest
In a shape of a golden rose
Wandered back and forth
Waved her forgiveness
Blessed me with her mercy
With the gift of her soul
Madam, I have no soul left
My body is just a dust
I'm a graveyard...
I'm an immortal guest
I'm no one if not in her chest
Her treasured smile
Her lovely sight
Her heavenly touch
Her misty lips
Her eternal nest
I'm just a graveyard...
I'm just an immortal guest

A brief insight
          of what heavens look like
A glimpse of beauty
          darting my heart
A smile from the future
          my soul couldn't resist
A face in my imagination
          uniting the universe
A kiss from those lips
           that heaves can't afford

You can’t recognize me
You don’t know how I look,
How I live,
Or how I breath

You can’t feel me
You don’t know how I cry,
How I laugh,
Or how I fear

You can’t realize me
You don’t know how I walk,
How I sit,
Or how I sleep

You can’t sense me
You don’t know how I touch,
How I listen,
Or how I speak

You can’t see me
You can’t shape me
You can’t save me
You can’t **** me

You can only see me
When you always,
And forever,
Love me....

I pity all broken hearts
Filled with spears and darts
How could people be cruel
To hurt what's behind all arts

Homeless, is all that it is now
Living beside a waste bin
With no walls for warmth in winter
Not even a door to let you in

My heart wants to reach out
Asking you for a place to live
This can't be the end of life
There's still something called love

Storming rain
The sound of life
Deeply drains
Into a strife

Only my age
Lives in my booth
Becomes my cage
My future, my truth

It’s just some tears
No one should care
Fighting my fears
Do not despair

To finally cope
Severely drifts,
My promising hope
Is what has left

With your heart,
I’m blessed
With your soul,
I’m dressed

Make me a nest
Make me the best
Make me a world
Where I can rest

You deserve my life
You deserve even more
You deserve my soul
You can own my own

Read me...
Keep your judgment away
Call me...
Not if you want to play
Follow me...
Like me...
Love me...
Stay with me...
I'll be yours every day

Abdullah Ayyash
October 3rd, 2014

I can feel it all coming
It won’t heel everything
But it's going to make my day

I will give you my magical treat
To never leave my sight
And never beg you to stay

I can’t hide my affection
I won’t tell you to predict
But I hope you cross my way

I'm the victim of my own
          actions
                    when you say you love me

I'm the enemy of my own
          heart
                    when you try to hold me

I'm the phantom of my own
          reality
                    when you dream about me

I'm the closed door of my own
          life
                    when you try to free me

I'm the past of my own
          future
                    when you decide to leave me

An angel, or so I was told
Diamond, can never be sold
Live with me to the end of time
Fly me beyond this world
History is full of stories
Yours is the one that hasn't been told
Feed me the essence of your soul
Feel me when you make me gold
Kiss me like never before
Kiss my neck and kiss my sword
In your lips I'll live thousands of years
With your love, I'll never get old

I do as well agree
This world is a sad one indeed
Earth can never be a place of peace
When evil still spread its seeds
Earth can never be home again
When selfishness continue to breed
History told us its tales
With the voice of its victims
And written when they bleed
Cut those pages in million pieces
And make them fire's feed
No magic wand can solve everything
It's only justice, what we really need

An invitation from a guest in the past
The bed I'm in now won't be the last
Life isn't fair and you know that's true
You were not honest when you got me through
I don't know if I shed my tears or hide
From you or the pain that won't subside
The castle is closed now and not like before
When my heart was the room and my arms were the door

Take me,
     wherever you go,
          take my soul
Have me,
     whenever you want,
          have me all
I’m here for you and I’m there with you
Send me your cloud and let it rain over me
Let your grace embraces my wounded heart
The cut is so deep
Your mercy is in need
Take me,
     have me,
          or forever...
               put me to sleep

Abdullah Ayyash
June 19th, 2013

Tell me about the time
When you were a divine flower
Tell me about the days
When you gave the sun its power
Tell me about the life you’ve used
Building your tower
Tell me what to use for my tears
When they **** happiness with your fire
Just tell me…
Just show me…
Just whisper…
I can no longer wait
I can no longer stay
I can no longer live
More than just an hour

Abdullah Ayyash
May 8th, 2014

If you are close, get closer
Or just keep going away
The ghost of your presence
Cannot show me the way
Just leave me to my sadness
If you have nothing to say

One year has gone for ever
After many exact others
The journey I had, wandering
The pain I got, waiting
How patient I was, anticipating
The picture of you, smiling
The thought of us, together
The perfect life, forever
One dream is shattered
When I got your letter
The future now is dead
The past was abed
One more year of hope
May happiness never elope

Day after day
And a night before tonight
Knight after knight
Lost lives climbing your height
You are a mountain
You are the moon
Don't pretend you are not the light
You are a thousand year of dreams
You are a life time of hopes
And without you...
I'm just a lost kite

It's a mountain
Huge rock
Life obstacle
When you see me

It's a challenge
Promising future
Beautiful glory
From my side

I am a soul
Lovely smile
Determent hope
Not a tear drop

I am feelings
Pure spirit
Nested dreams
Not a sympathy

Send me your heart
Don't walk me through
Don't hold me back
Love knows its way

A wish was made above the stars
Bring me the light from deep within

Beauty,
          is what she looks like
Sadness,
          within her light
Darkness,
          comes with her presence
Wings,
          carry me in the night
Mountains,
          hold us way behind
Winds,
          when skies are tight
Luck,
          is all what we need
Happiness,
          is far from my sight
Future,
          is not coming through
God,
          please make things right

Some people are lucky to find their own peaceful moments
Luck has nothing to do with how they live
It’s just how happy they find themselves in moments of obstruction,
How blessed they feel when they are closer to the source of light
They travel with happiness in their chests
They cross thousands of miles feeling nothing but joy,
         they create when everybody else lives in bubbles of misery
They live,
Convey light,
Inspire the universe,
How I envy them!

I have a time zone of my own
I can stay from dusk to dawn
I feel like a dead meadow
I can't sense life,
I can't even moan

My mind is not like yours
My life goes on different road
My soul is shattered in million pieces
My heart is freezing with this cold

I need some rhythm to put my soul
The way it was, the way it ruled
I need some music to let my heart
Be warm again and be restored

Are you the rhythm I’m looking for?
Are you the soul, I want to hold?
Are you the music I need it to,
Warm my heart and make it gold?

I read some words here and there
I read some words on this board
If they have meaning, let it shows
If they do, they should be told

Abdullah Ayyash
October 22nd, 2010

Sometimes...
The emptiness of words is all I read
The silence of music is all I hear
A blank page of mystery
Sums up my life
With a muted cry
And a single tear

Sometimes...
I give up all my defences
I have nothing to lose
And nothing to gain
Nothing but aches
With a muted cry
And a single tear

I need incentive to write
To think
To imagine
Living a happy life
I need a heart
A replacement
To the misery
You planted with your knife
I need my time
To be back
Without struggles
When we fight
I need air
To breath
To feel my lungs
Exhaling you out
I need light
To see
To spot you
Leaving my sight
I need ears
To hear
To despise
The lies you weaved so tight
I need my mind
To forget
The promises you say
Then **** over night
I need incentive to write
To warn others
To tell innocents
How all this was never right

I want to tell the world everything
I want to uncover my biggest sin
I want to admit what I've done bad
But the ice on the lake is really thin
I'm the lion who scares the jungle
Even a crowed of armed men
I rule thousands of acres by myself
Nobody can get near or step in
But I can't hold back the burning fact
That makes me crying deeper within
How can I go on with my life
When the lioness has left the den