not a flicker, nor a flame.
always invisible, unknown by name.
so now it is up to me
to leave a mark,
to go out with a bang
and leave my art.
There was this tweet that told us to write based on the picture that had attached .. it was my first time ever doing something like that and I only did it to see if I could.
Honestly I wish you guys could see the picture. Nonetheless, I’m really proud of this especially since I haven’t written any poetry all month.
You haven’t spoken a single letter,
Yet your muted words have told me
A thousand interesting stories full of beauty and mystery.
I’m feeling like giving up.
As I sit and gaze into nothin’
I hear my heart thumpin
through the music that’s crumpin
in my ears.
and I’m wishin
for it to all slow down
I’m wishing I could
replace my blood with molasses
and then slit my wrist and watch.
Watch as the life drains from my eyes.
Would you believe me if I told you, that wasn’t a lie?
Not an exaggeration
or a tale?
Of course you wouldn’t
because you aren’t me
you don’t have my mind
or the thoughts that creep in.
and with a mouth
that is permanently disconnected
from my mind,
how will I ever get you
why I am the way I am?
Please tell me why I even bother.
Why do I bother to scramble to find the words to express how I am feeling when all you are going to do is press Ignore?
I feel IGNORED.
Why do I bother to talk about the thoughts that run screaming through my mind when all you’re going to do is Interrupt?
You hate it but I hate it more.
Never being able to finish my sentence is the curse I’m destined to die with.
Never being understood is all I’m meant to be.
Invalid is all I am. Invalid is all I’m meant to be.
I’m just so tired. Tired of going through everything I have to go through.
I wish I could just make myself into the person you want me to be.
Even though for some reason you keep telling me to be myself.
What if you don’t like her?
What if I don’t like her?
Because the person I’ve known to be me,
I don’t like.
I don’t like how she looks.
I don’t like how she talks.
But, no one hears that.
It’s all in my mind.
If I want change, why don’t I change?
These days it really feels as though I am truly going insane.
Late night poem.. Probably will end up changing the title since I’m not a 100% on it. Any ideas? Comment.
I wish I could cut my brain into pieces
and not as a last resort.
Cut out the sadness,
the bad memories,
the part that never listens,
all of it.
The person looking back in the mirror
is more than willing
to give up anything as a sacrifice.
First poem of 2020.
‘I don’t know’.
That isn’t an excuse. That’s not the easy way out.
I genuinely do not know the answer to the question you’re asking.
Oh you’re frustrated?
Imagine how I feel!!
You just asked that question.
I have been asking that question my entire life.
“Why can’t you just..?”
I want to scream,
to be heard in some way !!
and not because I need the attention but because I genuinely have something to say..
Something worth hearing..
I’m scared of what’s in my mind.
I’m scared that I’m running out of time.
I’m scared to be alone because I don’t trust myself.
Not around scissors.
Not around pills.
Not around myself.
Do you know how that feels?
Do you know how it feels
to not trust yourself
I am at war.
with my heart as a witness,
my soul as the prize
and my body, the battlefield.
Will I be a causality?
It felt nice to write this.. even if it was at 4 in the morning. I haven’t really been writing much, lost in my own head I suppose. Trapped, to be honest. Trapped in my own mind with only thoughts to think to help pass time.
Your eyes told me the words your lips never uttered.
Your fingertips drew a trail on me with a touch so magical fairies got jealous.
Your kiss printed on my cheek left a mark on me so eternal even death couldn't erase it.
I'm guessing its time for me..
To be on free.
Looking like its time..
I have no friends of crystal beauties.
Nothings Controlling this beauty.
Soulful MAHOGANY bouncing freely.
My dynasty holding back vocal assurances.
Some kind of circumstances.
The Blocking of chances.
No One speaks...
As I deny anything that'll excite me.
People are Muted.
Emotions are flowing so diluted..
I don't want to Mingle, If I'm muted.
I'll go hide my fences ..I'll go build more fences.
I'll get lost in starry far away skies..
Catch tears should they fail from eyes.
No messages, no replies, no mascara smearing my eyes.
water colored surprise..
Open wide these eyes...
Look for me.. she's this confused brown beauty.
whispered Prayers for me.
No cavalry seeks.
Wells rushing at my feet, dry land separates me.
I'll turn to my praying wall.
I don't want to cause a downfall.
People I've set free, Heaven sooth me...
I'll turn to my praying wall.
I'll return to my praying wall.
Nothing here for me..
Nothing Here for me..
Mute Me from Misery...
Unmute me for my chosen destiny.
Hurry and come find.
Behind all I've been hiding.
Is this all naturally me..Growing rationality.
If Not release me, UnMute Me..Bless my destiny.
I have tried to protect me for so long.. and finally I feel so secluded..I've tried to reach out, but now I feel just muted..
There was something that I wanted to say,
but it was muted before I could utter the words.
Creeping, like vines, strangling a tree limb
it comes slowly,
The bark cracks and falls to the ground,
flying acrobatics this way and that as the wind carries it,
gently it so lands.
Those are NOT the words I thought I'd say;
but they crept towards my mouth
and, like insects escaping that suffocating tree,
they were free.
Hello (: ENJOY !!
© Shane Leigh