I had a feeling in my stomach
That day in your room
Lips on my neck
Brain starting to swoon
"It's just a kiss "
You told me
But you knew it was more
Especially because
It was behind closed doors

I want to drown
I want to breathe the water in
And never breathe out again
I want the salt water to burn the fresh cuts in my wrists
I want the dark to cradle me as I float into never ending sleep
I want to drift off
with no sign of life
I want to drown

Watch a night
With memories like stones in my stomach
Flashing lights
Of a police car as I leave
Stars dimmed
By ink-soaked clouds
You're different
Than before
Better
Confusion
Sinking into my brain
Is it you?
Or someone
Greater?
Infinite impossibilities
Stretch across my head
Blood
Drips across my lips
From biting too hard
Miles to go
Before I get home

I wish I could breathe
Your words are crushing
Stop lying
Saying you were loving me
Some sort of love story
you've thought up in your head.
Darling you just hurt me,
soon I'll be dead.
My lungs are crippling,
crumbling like paper
Little tiny rips
in my skin with sandpaper
breaking me apart
so very slowly
this isn't love
I can tell,
because I'm so lonely.

And there she was
A rough scab on a smooth perfect knee
With a chalky cigarette between bony fingers
Chipped red painted nails
Matching crimson accenting glossy white walls
She knew she was dreaming
Because of the ****** sun in the middle of the room
Chapped lips crack with scarlet, staining teeth
Surgical gloves reaching out from her beating heart
Held in by pale marked skin
Needles pricking gums, calling upon beads of ruby
Incisors and canines fall out one by one
Heavy tongue tastes gory wine
Indifference and apathy sistering one another
Stitches hold right-handed fingers in permanent crosses
Though an opal ring falls through
The shattering crystal lights the room ablaze
Intangible flames lick the ceiling as it rises and the floor sinks
An ever-expanding room flashing over and over in endless continuity
Like a repeating reel of film catching on fire
And then she was gone

You were born with fear of the unknown
Afraid of the dark
Of being alone
You were born with fear
It lit up your eyes
and set your brain on fire
And I wanted to protect you

~

One day that fire was quenched
Your love washed over me
And drowned it out
I stay in the dark
In between your arms
And you protected me
I was born with fear of the unknown
And I lived with the love of you

Little hands
Soft and velveteen
Shiny eyelids
Tired and drooping
Long lashes
Looking down at the ground
A small mask
To fit his round face
With a childish print
Of his favorite hero
Shy and quiet
With delicate limbs
Putting on his large backpack
Almost home
Invulnerable
To the screams of the others
As lightning strikes
Beyond the fields of corn
Body jostled
As the bus bumps along
Dull jade eyes
Peering through the window
Staring at the rain
Behind the glass

is it love
if you pull me aside
to a room
to be alone
and play your song
softly
on your phone
and ask me to help you
write a poem
and you show me
all the stupid
lovely
things
you can do
with your
watermelon
vapor.

When you laugh
I feel like I've done what I was meant to do
When you speak
It's like listening to my favorite song on a loop
When you move
It's like watching a wave dance
When you look at me
My heart rises like a hot air balloon
When you say goodbye
My heart aches for more

there isn't a star
brighter than you
a rose
softer
than your lips
a cloud
lighter
than my heart when
you look at me
there isn't a place
that we could go
that could take my eyes
off you

My room
Is dark
A web
Of night
But in the corners of my room
Glow handfuls of sunlight
Shining gently
Like yellow fire

Is the world against me?
Or is it just you?
Hearts were made to be broken.
I guess that's true.
Your love wasn't real.
Darling, you'll rue.
Try as I may
Try as I might
It hard to believe
I ever trusted you.

I’m still lost
I have been since the day
You said you could have loved me
Since I realized
I ****** it up for the both of us
I have forever forfeited
Your touch when the heat becomes too much
Your lips when the tears build up
Unwillingly
I have given up
The sweet things you gave me
I can no longer make you shiver
With my love
I can’t hold you anymore
And the pain gets unbearable
When you’re so god ****** close to me
Yet so far away

hello
i said
to man underneath my bed
hello
i said
to the voices in my head
hello
i said
to the body in the shower
hello
i said
at the witching hour
hello
i said
to the maggots in rotting flesh
hello
i said
to cuts still fresh
goodbye
i said
to a mind, almost dead

There were rainbow colors in the skies
=
She had clouds in her eyes
=
She saw things with colors no ones ever seen before
=
She had keys to every door.
=
All of them except for his heart
=
And it slowly tore her apart
=
It tore her to pieces
=
And now she is dreamless
=
And all of her colors are gone

he had a galaxy
in his mind
and it showed
through his eyes
it spilled
from his lips
stars
at his fingertips
planets in his pockets
moon drops in his pen
he drew what he knew
again and again

Raindrops, water plops, let’s go see the ocean.
Let’s go skip a stone 14 and 11. Let’s go find a way so we could go to heaven.
Raindrops, falling on my face.
Raindrops mixing with my tears.
Tears falling into the water well.
Rose gardens, little girls picking them carefully.
But the rain is falling, and the girls are crying and the roses are wilting.
The wind is crying and I am crying and the well is crying and the roses are crying.
Raindrops, water plops, let’s go see the ocean.
Let’s go skip a stone, 14 and 11

A girl, made of glass.
A boy, made of brass.
Hearts of paper.
Tears turn to vapor.
Not enough time.
They say it’s fine.
Hearts turn to ashes.
Skin burning, from the lashes.
Liars sell their secrets and lies.
While every rose slowly dies.

jagged
and ******
the glass
pierces

dripping
to the ground
red jewels
smeared

it doesn't hurt
anymore
when it rips
into my flesh

it doesn't hurt
anymore
but you do

let's sit on top of the building
kiss under the lights of the city
look me in the eyes and tell me i'm pretty

take my hand and we'll walk along the edge
forget the day that we met
stay together no matter what we get

crowns of steel and headlights
we know we'll be alright
stay with me tonight

wind and hands in my hair
shining stars everywhere
running up the stairs

dancing on the fire escape
get it all on tape
buildings fade into blurry shapes

Who am I
At the end of the day
Who am I, really?
No one,
But a desperate child
Waiting on their not-so-lover
No one,
But a lost girl
Who misses her brother
And her mother
And the father she never had
Some one
Who breaks their own heart
Each
And every
Day
Who are you?
But the one who once held me
Like I was the only thing left for you
Who are you, really?
But the glue
Holding my frail wings together
But the sweetness in my mouth
When my body starts to hunger
But the shine in my eyes
When I finally cry
You are everything
Except mine

Your inside of my brain
Inside of me
I feel the pain
Internally

I want you out
From my body
I need you out
I want you to leave

Inside my heart
Inside my veins
Maybe I can cut you out
I don’t mind the pain

What a waste
What a shame
You’re consuming me
Driving me insane

How long
Until you see
That you’re slowly
Killing me

Please go away
Let me be
Let me go back to the future
Of which we used to dream

a taste of honey
dew drops run down my bare flesh
lips touch in night wind

Oh moon,
So pale
In the black velvet sky
With sparkling gems
To make wishes on
To accompany you,
Oh lovely moon,
How bright you shine
Gently on
This summer's night
The crickets sing
Me a lullaby
As I fall asleep
In the moon's arms
Her light cradling me
As my heavy lids droop

Hello amour,
I thought I'd tell you
That your glimmering eyes
Are the souls of stars
Unfaltering
I thought you should know
That your lips are like wine
They give me a buzz
When I see them
And drink them in
I thought I would let you know
That your laugh is sweeter than the sound
Of raindrops pattering on roses

"I love you"

......................................................

"Ev­eryone makes mistakes "

Talking next to you for hours
Turning cigarettes into flowers
Listening to the cricket's song
Can't sleep, awake all night long
Thinking of your, your voice, your heart
Being away from you tore me apart
Dancing by the lake
Moon's reflections shattered
Darling, I will wait,
You are all that matters
Found a plastic bag,
filled it up with violets
Listen to the sound
Of forgetting the violence
Streetlights
And store lights
Wandering with you
Darling how
I wish I knew
What I mean to you

my hands
ache
hoping
for something truly real.
i hate waiting
with doubt
and hopefulness
mixing in my head
making a deadly poison
i want
to feel something
soft like a feather
or course like sand
something
running
through the cracks in my hands.
i want
to feel
something real.

i think it burns
like ice on my bare flesh
bare bodies
covered in floral mesh
skin to skin
i want to let you in
god this euphoria is filling me up
only you can melt this frost over my eyes
only you can keep me warm at night
a taste of you
i've never wanted anything more
obsession has never been so decadent
just soft feelings are filling my head
warm like your mouth
sweet like you too

cinderlock
and cinderlocking
eyes are locking
lips are locking
hands are holding
fingers twisting
hair is mussing
this is love

you're on my mind
and my hands
they're
s h a k i n g

and even though you hurt me
i still can't help but
o b s e s s
over you

i'm burning
it's like fire
s p r e a d i n g
over what's left
of my heart

acid
dripping
bodies
writhing
worms
crawling
in my lungs
bones
breaking
eyes
shaking
nails
scratching
my flesh

someplace
inside
covered in vines
and wildflowers
lays the best part of me
with thoughts of you
floating around like clouds
a heart-shaped hole
contains my memories
of when i was happy
of whispers
sang to the stars
and secrets
sang to the moon
of fireflies
in my hands
and sunlight
on my skin
of stretches
in the morning
with anticipation
of seeing you
that what's hidden
in the deepest part of me
if you look
hard enough
you'll see a smile
and a hand
that held
by an angel
by the name of
You
and if you try
you'll find
innocence
and
happiness

the trees were lovely
an ocean blue
like your eyes
when I look at you
the sky was pink
a soft sunset
soft blushes
a flushing palette
your arms were around me
we laid in the grass
your lips on my neck
we let the clouds pass
dandelions
scattering
floating their way
into our dreams

the trees were humming
your birthday song
the clouds were cuddling you
in their arms
the grass was soft
beneath your head
the flowers decorated
your nature's bed
the wind was soft
on your reaching hands
an empty space
where a mother stands
no worries, though, child
don't be afraid
i will be with you
and come to your aid
a sweet babe
in the woods of forever
keeping you safe
born with a tether
a tether to nature
to all things sweet
i'll love you always
and your darling heartbeat

Stay away from him
I’m not afraid of sin
Take him from me,
I’ll take your life
Watch out for me
I’m sharpening my knife
He doesn’t belong to you
So let him go
You should be afraid
Of being alone
The idea of your blood
Spattered on the wall
Excites me
No breath left at all
The water turned red
Another one dead
Watch your back
Not for him
You should have obeyed
Now you’ll feel my blade

Underneath the surface
At the edge of the deep
Lie beasts and monsters
Ready to reap
Feeding on fear,
Flesh and blood
Just one taste
Is never enough

I have awaken
In a flame
Of suffering
I do not understand
I keep burning
And burning
Every
Single
Day
Blood is crusting
Flesh is burning
Hell
Is this place
With flames
Like rubies
And topaz
My soul
Is burning
In this hell fire
I am lonely
So lonely
And haunted
And burning
In this fire

she was a vigilant child
ignoring the thoughts of fantasy
she lived without joy and dreams
she knew there was no such thing as eternity
her mother was ignorant
overcome by a dreaming abyss
it was a false ecstasy
blinded by bliss
she was careful to avoid
making stupid mistakes
hope was the enemy
false dreams were sure to devastate
to keep herself safe
she was careful not to trust
her heart had a shell
and she let the lock rust
she never let her guard down
she was immune to things like love
joy and dreams and happiness
those things she was above
her infatuation was a treasure
covered in dust
immune to sweetness
she did what she must
to block all emotion
avoid all fears
she grew up when she was young
she shed no tears

What have you done to me
The things you've done
Back and forth
You mess with my mind
I'm close to insanity
What kind of love
Take you brain
And switches it
With your heart

The sun was going down
And you had your hand in mine
We were laying down
And watching the sky
Pink
Lilac
Midnight blue
But none of those colors
Were as pretty as you
You turned over
And placed your lips on mine
They were soft
Like petals
Gently pressing
Your hands
Skimmed my body
Tracing
Causing friction
My heart fluttering
Face flushing like the sky
Running my hands through your hair
You leaned in
And you whispered
"You are mine."

A little boy of shadow
Sitting in carnations
Terrified
Of God’s creations.
A little boy,
Lost and to never be found
Never knew
The voices could be so loud.
The voices that say
“If you stood, the world could be ours.”
But he prefers wishing on stars.
Because his legs are beaten and bruised
And he cannot walk.
But he wishes for someone to help him stand.
And doesn’t make him talk
About the things he wants to say
The things he wants to keep away
For someone who will always stay.

i think you're really pretty
and you're so sweet
more than the cotton candy
i had at the pool
i think
that you're perfect
i think that you've got a lot of talent
you're my favorite thing to dream of
i think
that you're wonderful

Steam and humidity
Fogs up the mirror
The musky scent of my shampoo fills the room
Waterdrops beat against my head
Sound softened by my scented hair
Music plays from across the room
Water skids down my flesh
I sit and think
About you
And wash away
Bad memories
I scrub
My skin
Until the hot water burns

Volatile (Adjective)
Seeming to change without reason; unstable and unpredictable

Synonyms: Me, Love, Emotions, McDonald's ice cream machines

What, if I may ask, is happiness?

I think, perhaps, that it is not being alone

Being loved

Having someone beside you

Just maybe

i called him ash
as charcoal was a bit obvious
and i loved him
so of course
i had to keep it a secret

the world is getting too bright
i cant tell that something isn't right
something else is dripping
from the tears in my skin
you told me not to
let the darkness in in
but you left
so what's the point
let's set fire
to this joint
the matches are there
no need to stare
reach into my pocket
nothing you can to stop it
not anymore
i'll start this chaos
i've got people to brainwash
this is what happens when you abandon me
i told you but i guess you wanted to see
burn down the room
decorate your tomb
gave you my heart
but you decided to spend it
gave you life
now it's my turn to end it

My head
Is pounding
It hurts
Perhaps
I shouldn't have
Hit it
Over
  Ove r
  O v E r
   O   V  E r
O V e R
Again
Against a concrete wall