please know that I love you more than the stars, the sun, and the skies could hold.
but I don't know how to fix something without damaging it the process.
you are fragile, and my hands have unintentionally fractured you countless times. I know this, even though you've never explicitly told me.
I dance on eggshells around you: I am atlas, pirouetting across an empire of thin ice, just so I don't mar you with my words.
swallowing conversations and feelings is a talent we both possess. to spare the pain of the other, we dampen the truth. we drink the fires of resentment and leave them to ferment.
I cannot fix this without potentially damaging it further.
I'm a storm with skin. my collateral damage knows no bounds, spares no mercy. you know this. but hear me, and heed me closely.
I don't paint you as the villain. you aren't the martyr. we are equally responsible for this damage and decay. the rot of something once beautiful.
yet I cannot fix something without causing further damage.
we are a two way street. growth of beauty cannot flourish in stagnation.
please, do not test the limits of my volatility. I cannot mend the tatters of thirteen years with a single spool of thread.
I refuse to swallow fermented resentment. I walk on eggshells carrying mountains for you no more.
this tapestry will end in one of two ways: opulent splendor, or devoured by living flames.
I cannot fix something without destroying it in the process.
February 25th, 2018
I cannot bear to lose you, but I cannot journey this voyage across the empire of eggshells with the universe on my back for you any longer.
please don't push me to throw thirteen years of friendship to the fires of the abyss.
didn't anyone tell you that I am named after the Durga Kali for a reason. ?
© kalica calliope