The Sun is growing distant
The Earth is turning in her bed
Waking up in an instant
With her nightgown
White in the cold
Opting to sleep it through
And dream herself up, green
And breathe proximity, serene

As my footsteps disappear into puddles
And the ripples go silent
I put to doubt
The things we make
Of mud today
As knowledge travels
Rails of science
Instead of the path
Of knowing time
We’re sending light
Where it wasn’t meant to be
Like the greatest of all angels did

We have turned learning into
An autopsy of everything
Lobotomizing every liberty
Analyzing mistakes to find
Better excuses
Bitterly abusing conscience
And sapience
Numbed by the applause
Of every new Eureka!

The puppet master's gone completely mad
Who knows when
Weaving webs of chaos
Knots collide
Casualties fall
And so I do not know
What he was before
But now I’m sure
He is a spider
Eating his own
Children

archangels banish the devil
in the depths of your heaven
like a non-violent exorcism
the likes of which I haven't witnessed
sentimental plague covers our
binary consciousnesses
until the veil burns off
and the ashes feed the land
till it softens
wiping clean the mourning
desiccating grief
from the haunting
worshipped debris
embedded rootless
to the thick of the longing
to the excised fat
of past-time reveries
yet the ivory towers
still stand bared
amidst newborn flowers
sparing no sand
from the hourglass
for an epitaph
for only tomorrows
carry redemption
promising blossoming

We are living memory
Our words are our saviors
For they will remember
Us

Too good and yet true
Too beautiful
To taste
Without falling in daze
Without following
Delirious
An aroma trail of craving
On the back of my tongue
I’m getting equal measures
Of heaven and hell
Perfectly balanced

My eyes are my traitors
Plotting to open the gates
Sending stowaway warriors
Whom I never gave orders
To slip behind walls
Of thickest black pupils
In the Trojan horse
That my eager look is

And gazes are bridges
Unwillingly
Supporting the siege
Of epiphanies
You and me
Caught in our ambush
Completely surrounded by Us

“save the trees”, it says
on the sheets of paper
made out of their death

I found out that I’ve known
The language of the autumn
All along
But she couldn’t handle
Her own
Transitive verbs
And the silent consonants,
The stressed vowels
That brought her sorrow
I was pure torture when
I spoke to her
With a passion that
Shed her chills
In cold tears
Stabbing shards
Crashing in my ribs
I was our undoing
Inevitable as winter

she said
"my clothes are beings of their own
they come and go
as they please
but in your eyes
they melt from me
like wax from а candle"

I was assembled 33 years ago
From a piece of genetic code
My firmware was updated incrementally
The errors didn’t happen accidentally

And the glitches carried
Hidden features, secretly;
Surprisingly,
You’d come across a stowaway
A smuggled possibility for change

Deviation from the norms
With incalculable vector
Even if you have direction
There’s no way to know the destination

My main mistakes were
Having lust for knowledge and
The infinite supply of patience
While my time was running out of sand

The wraith wrote right
Inside the sight of a sigh



Love dove like a dove
Then flew full of flu



Doubt is the apple
And love is the worm



If you are ready for happiness
You are already lost



I did my worst
So I would know my worst



From a martyr to a victim
A fall marks the distance



Everyone’s addicted to their illness
Because the medicine tastes worse

cold drops falling
soft leaves slowly
sliding crystals
the soil again
becoming rich
color taking fill
lungs come whole again
one with the rest
connecting the opposites
into the loop ever stirring
the wheel slowing down
never stops turning

[insert number of] days since the ember lungs of my longing
last drew breath
And you are theirs
( … the air…)
And they are yours
( … the lungs…)
And you are mine
And we belong nowhere and
to no one

the sky falls down on me
but
I'm starving my umbrella
to death

Falling, not fallen
She was no man’s
But a nomad
She was the comet
Finally caught
In His gravity

Her celestial body
Lured beneath
Her stellar sails
By a solar flare
Lowering anchor

My inner world
had to choose
to **** the dinosaurs
so the humans do their thing

Immediate regrets were brought
by that decision;
it's no consolation,
the excuse of
the necessary evil

fingers grasp around you
the ribs of my embrace
slicing solitude in ribbons
wrapping new flesh
with shy promises
filling up the body
of a possibility
its youthful iridescent eyes
now blossoming
giving out near-future sparks
to the world-pyre

My broken lightbulb,
I have conserved your light
Unto my pages
Stop raining shards
You are weeping now
Inconsolably
Your crumbling body
Wasting further away
Unnecessarily
Beyond return
But you will find no solace
In my eyes
In my skin
Where you cut and you burn
For you’ve been but a shining
On my ceiling
That I’ve let too long replace the sun

She said "to hell with your dreams" and "let's do like the others"
I told her, to me, there could be so much more to discover;
"Join me, I said, this insanity burns with countless tomorrows"
"Forgive me, forget it", she pled, "you're on a road I can't follow"

Friendly pokes
***** jokes
Someone has misheard:

-Are you some kinda perv?
-I struck some kinda nerve?

Awkward looks
into boots.

Who will be the first
to change the topic,
pitch of talking?
Can this be reversed?

It was just an impulse.
Yes, it is that simple
when it's not rehearsed.
Who's that good with words?

Smile and let's move on.
Let us not be dull.
Moods will come and go
so on the go we learn.

What did the glass say to the ice?
"Kiss my bottom"
And the cube replied:
"Fiery spirit, I admire that in a glass"

The negative image of a drop in the sea...
All of my burning, reduced
To a spark in hell;
And if I escaped
I know what awaits,
That the sky would fall;
Heaven bright ablaze,
Every breath exhaled
Now holds the promise of
The cheapest ending yet
But I’m holding on
To seeing out the next sunset

In my irises my pupils turn
Into blast waves
Are you aware
That this gaze
Was a lit fuze
Severed chains
My latest jewels
Flames crave
The intake
Volatile fuel
Oxygen
****** in
Catalyst lips

Our children are flames
We are embers weeping sparks
Our scriptures remain
On ash-imprinted hearts

My veins are rivers;
you're a fast swimmer,
but you love taking
your time

Why do your weaknesses elude me;
my black magnets
keep you at a distance
because
you're facing their
repelling poles

your hair strands are currents,
thoughts;
mind of their own,
tentacles
gesturing hypnosis...
who are they;
what are we,
but extensions,
body parts,
extremities,
intentions,
of a hive mind
unidentified

but I’ll walk these narrow bridges,
shifting as they are,
these catwalks,
hanging ledges,
and breach I will
the curtains of your
ink-spilled masquerade
to taste the sweet and salty
that you’ve saved for me

and you will know
in the contours that hold me,
the right substance
beneath telltale textures
of requited sensation

and we won't fathom the bonds
but touch what they bind us into
smearing the need for questions

I'd share the sky
with the clouds
but I had to grow my wings
but I had to lose my skin
I dared to reach
paradise
but my brothers took my skin
but my brothers used my skin

and I couldn't let them win
so I had to let this in
now it's tearing us within
and it's the fruit our sins
cause I had to grow my wings
but my brothers used my skin

I made them crawl
took my time nice and slow
feels so good to lose control
like a witness, watched them fall

now I'm free to flee this skin
but I will not shed this sin
and I cannot be complete

what, already
that aroma;
not a single spoon
of sugar:
the better
the awakening;
my coffee grinning,
shaking me

there's no way
to backtrack;
I'm sipping from b-cups,
kicking into gear...

flash forward;
(flesh in the background)
absentmindedly
chasing destination
instead of destiny,
always in a hurry

coffee drops
now drying up
disheveled,
the only ones
still keeping
memory of lips
retreating
like the waves
caressing shores
goodbye

long gone is
the reflection
undulating eyes

thoughts are perched
on mornings:
the old ones,
the upcoming...

She’s dancing:
Closed eyes,
Open palms ,
Vague smile

She is music;
And sound waves
Are dancing to her

And when she moves
Her clothes are naked;
And when she smiles,
My thoughts are
(words are flaking)

*

She tunes me
To her frequency
Riding waves
Pulling vibes and strings
Charting shores
Wanting replay
Asking for more

She keeps hijacking the most pure
Of my metaphors
I wonder if she
Sells them in slavery
To him;
Forced into prostitution
To the ****;

Who sells their own children
To their lover/business partner?
My only weapon is now
Saying the truth out loud

She offers him stolen
****** expressions
as sacrifice
but they were mine
I grew and nurtured them
I fostered and guarded them
And she took them away

They were merely thoughts
in my garden with osseous walls
I showed them to her,
gave them her tears
and her smiles,
gave them her names;
She picked them and ran,
claimed them not even
all for herself…
but for him…
the foreign body

This is merely one
in a line of treacheries
and I will no longer
allow her to fall
any further
into this monstrous
scar of transgression.

I don't wear smiles
like clothes,
like you wear makeup

I don't choose in aisles,
in stores,
just for the occasion

You can try
and you'd fit right in my shoes
but I'd never fit in yours

I don't wear jewels
but I'd love
to wear your denial
mmm,
your scent for awhile...

... Her eyes charted a triangle on his face. His gaze was the ship following the charts. Lost in the Bermudas? She froze her stare at his mouth. Very slowly, inexorably, and absentmindedly, he was sinking, leaning in… like falling into a maelstrom of trance. Time expanded from a puddle to an ocean. The Earth stopped turning. Her eyes were closing, a hundred times slower than the setting sun. Ever so slightly, almost undetectably, her face moved to meet him, for the smallest distance possible. Like half a step, inviting completion. He stopped right before touch… where proximity was impossibly close, blurring the line. The air between their lips felt like contact; a magnet… giving haptic feedback of tingling sensation. Her eyelids lifted again, as if pulled up by the anchors of eyelashes, tethered to his irises. She was stuck in a moment of anticipation. Her lips twitched open, holding her breath. Her eyes focused, wondering, asking thousands of questions per second… saying nothing… waiting to find out what happens after “to be continued…”. She hated cliffhangers. The cruelty of waiting for the sequel.
     He interrupted that confusion; spoke in low voice:
“Stop. Imagine... there’s an invisible wall, incredibly thin, but also unbreachable. Will you be window shopping Me? This is better than the actual thing. Because all you want is right on that threshold. And you can choose. Right now. You can choose to extend that moment. Hold it for awhile. Keep it longer. Before it manifests and senses consume it. Stay with me on the other side of the window. Be the want, the desire before satisfaction dulls hunger. Be the thirst before the glass is full. Feel the water pour. Hear it spill. Anticipate the cold moisture with the edges of your tongue and the inside of your cheeks. Swallow the sip of saliva that your senses milked from your thoughts. Now… bottoms up”

“I’m your key, Pandora;
I’m just as guilty
as you are”

Put some stress on those legs
Not a dress that begs
My permission for takeoff

And the breath she took
Didn’t cool her down
The heat was spilling out
Thirst began
To scale her tongue
Lips and legs ajar
The fire spread within the dark
Until it rained
And clouds embraced
Sighs escaping smiles

the dress is lying still
on her hips
but not at rest
a tight caress
that stalks in wait
proxy to the prey

You asked to have me too?

I’m a lilac, after all… or were I?
You don’t believe, that until recently
I smelled and bloomed

Greedy hands were reaching out to me
They picked and tore, and took my bloom away
My odor… stolen by the wind

My leaves…
A mist desired them, eyes watering
And so I gave
But to a cloud she ran away
And built a nest from them
My branches…
Caressed by frost-bitten beggar
She too asked to have them
I gave again
She put them to the fire

You asked to have me too?

I’m a lilac, after all… or were I?
Ever seen the aroma and the bloom of sin?

Your eyes perhaps caught too much light or tears?
Are you disappointed; maybe bored? Don’t go.
It seems there’s nothing left for you but you are wrong

Beneath your feet, buried deep within the soil
My root is dwelling waiting for the spring
The last and best of me
I hid and kept it just because
I’m a lilac, after all… or were I?
If you’d like I’ll show you how I used to bloom

Where are you going

Wait

Don’t you want me anymore

Your tongue speaks
The language of my lips
Fluently

Heels harder than steel
Sharper still
In his heart
Smooth arks
Curves looping
Strong desires
Cutting loose
Weak restraints
Through frail defenses
His achilles heel
A separate entity
Embodied in the shape
Of a fallen angel
Insatiably inviting
The arrows of Apollo
Choosing carefully
Her Paris-es

Thought you got me in your grasp
Fallen in your hands,
Money in the bank
But
I'm a human hand grenade
you’ve pulled the safety pin away
division now awaits
the careless

I do know lip-reading
But that smile
Demands for tactile

and with their hands of words
they reach towards
my thoughts to slice them
to widen the cut
and tear open
my intricacies
digging for spice and mud

as you unsheathe analysis
I devour all the violence
of voyeuristic
snaking
searing intentions

I will not allow
this foul transparency
to be my autopsy

The ghost of spread lips
will haunt the house
inside your skull
because
there's nothing wrong
with being who I was

In brittle dark
I’m shedding body on your canvas
leaving flesh in strokes of boldness;
arms are warm,
your thighs are hotter from us, burning,
as friction seals the picture
of sparks embracing ashes
painting lust
reforging Us

Don't keep this
hidden inside
behind the windows
beneath your eyelids

You shy away
from the flare
in my gaze,
the light bulb
in your room,
lit blindingly
between the
osseous walls

I am casting shadows
to stop the growing
smiles of petals
for they are feeding thorns
carving poems on my skin
but
I can't unlove your demons

My skin can hear your colors
From the other end
Of happiness

But the line is folding in a loop
Closing in a circle
And the end is the beginning

Time is tesselating
Unto itself
But we have not the senses

There is no loss
Just continuation
Into the unknown

Relativity delays
The arrival of awareness
Consciousness is slow to form

The cooling of the mold
Takes a great deal more
Hence, the procrastination

Inert and habitual;
Words taking root
In everything

My end and your beginning
Collided into a freshly manifesting
Iteration of existence

The bud becomes
The fruit
A new cycle

Words are the hands of thoughts;
Fingertips flow
Where she clenches her eyes
Sinking teeth
In lower lip
Prison bars to sighs
Anchored to liberty
Looming like a storm
in the distance

secret agent
nearing endgame
chessboard of patience
unraveling sapience
burning the haystack
the needle will come up
delivered in charred black
the countdown is on track

I'm a biochemical construct
mechanical of flesh and bone
software-infused hardware being,
another release,
an incrementally updated
version of humanity;
all off my data cells
come with prerequisites
I had no knowledge of;
the veins of my dreams
were blueprints and schemes
in my mother’s blood
in my father’s skin;
I scribble but cannot rewrite
the me, the I,
procedurally generated,
processed by algorithms;
and the purpose is clear
perpetuate and iterate,
move on with baby steps
not merely in time and distance,
but beyond existence

departure
                arrival
the climber
                 the diver
     the heat
                 the chills
     the beat
                 the thrill
         depth
                 moisture
        height
                 closure

me and her we barely talk
like spies for different governments
I've tried extracting information
but I'm cut off, passing out
and I wake up every time
17, heart-broken with silence

blank stares scan my every evening
somehow I am still invisible
turning this into a cold green light
to explore the dark corridors of my heart
my thoughts turn to microfilms
and battle plans and secret blueprints
my cover's hanging by a thread

I'm now a fugitive with everything to lose
a secret agent in love with their handler,
the disembodied string of signs on glowing screen
how much emptier than this is it possible to get

because there is no home
and you can't just go back to the agency
one wrong step and charges vary
from espionage to treason
and there've never been any right moves
at all

so now it's back to basics