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lua Oct 2023
i stand at the pedestrian crossing
white parallel lines aged by rubber
i wait for another person
and i cross

my brain goes white with parallel lines
i stop
in the middle of the street
for a second

sometimes i wish a car would
take me then
sometimes i wish a truck would
knock me out
is it worth the trauma
of gradeschoolers?
is it worth the clean up of city hall?
and how would they portray me?
a suicidal maniac who gets people in prison?
or merely an idiot with nothing better to do
other than cause chaos?

scene of the crime
outlined in white chalk against
white parallel lines
brain matter splattered on an SUV's windshield

funny

they can't find my eyes.
Yenson Aug 2021
Saw the bean pole and its roots
arguing outdoor with two oppressors
bean pole treated unfavourably
its on foreign soil doused in free milk
but reminded
its just another border crosser
from a rubber dinghy from Calias

Saw the bean pole housed
in nursery and greenhouse to propagate
now rooted anew its given nutrients
but it must do as ordered
for no matter what
its just another border crosser
from a rubber dinghy from Calias

Saw bean pole growing tendrils
leaves unfold green to catch sunshine
but now a puppet amongst others
who bend and shape at will
bean pole see that plant next to you
its taking your nutrients away
go block its sun
do as we say or else
just remember you're just another crosser
from a rubber dinghy from Calias

Bean pole will grow and bear fruits
on foreign soil there's milk and honey
but for as long as the sun shines
the chains and barbs will hold
bean pole is just a stick
carrying tendrils to grow the beans
eaten by those of the land
who to them will always be  
just another border crosser
from a rubber dinghy from Calias
He crossed the line
Entering my life
He ignored my resistance signs
Avoiding all my female land mines
There were no explosions
There was no protection
He crossed the line
Desecrating my sacred shrine
crossing lines into desecration
Tatiana Mar 2020
"How are you doing?"
those words pierced through my coat
bypassing the buttons that I didn't notice were open
until he spoke them
How I froze words intended to warm
into a pointed intrusion meant to warn
me of my icy exterior
It jabbed at my heart like icicles
pressed into the wound that throbbed and pulsed
He maintained eye contact when he asked
and my eyes were wide
with weariness I couldn't truly hide
but I could disguise
"I'm doing well and you?"
I replied to the man holding a stop-sign
my voice pleasant like springtime
when the wind rustled green-leafed trees
during the early sunrise
and the morning doves sang a sweet melody
covering up my shivering heart
"I'm doing good," he said
and nodded his head
in response to my quiet 'thank you'
he waited until I crossed the small street
eyes at my back, tracking my slow, steady steps
and when I got to the other side
I paused for my crossing guard said one more thing
"I hope you have a good day!"
and I said with a smile too bright, "You too,"
and went on my way
marching through the bright, winter day
hoping that this road would just take me away
Just take me away
©Tatiana
Here is a quickly written poem about a terrible decision I made in January of this year. I went for a walk instead of going to work. I went for a walk because I felt if I stopped moving, if I got behind the wheel of a car, I would do something drastic. And during this walk, I had this interaction described in the poem with a crossing guard. A simple, normal conversation. And it hurt so much to have it.
I'm doing a lot better now than I was in January. I started therapy and even did some group therapy as well which was really helpful. For the first time in my life I truly felt understood by others. I could see that people cared.
I'm still struggling a bit. With the pandemic that is going on it has ruined the routine I created for myself so I need to develop a new one. I hope everyone is doing their best to stay healthy and practicing social distancing. We will get through this.
One more thing, I haven't really been posting on here due to the above mental health struggles/getting help for it, but I also haven't been posting because I've been writing poetry. Which sounds odd. What I mean is that I have enough poems to create a collection. So be on the lookout for that in the future and I will give updates as they come.
Stay healthy and safe out there!
-Tatiana
Kasti Mar 2019
I think about you a lot.
You’re always on my mind.
It’s honestly troubling sometimes,
how much you cross through my mind.

Never checking both ways, left, right, left.
Never considering how I would feel.
You don't tread lightly when exploring
my undiscovered corners and thoughts.

But that’s okay, I love you too much to blame you.
It’s unhealthy, maybe, maybe not, I know that I want you.
I need you.

but I don't love you.

Please just kiss me one time,
I’ve been dying to know you.

Just kiss me once more,
I've been dying to know
if this is real life.

A whirlwind of thoughts sweeps through, taking houses and trees right out the ground
Crashing, flashing, with a bang and a spark, it’s like magic
The flood of your eyes has fully taken over
And you’re the only thing on my mind.
I don't know why I write
Masuda Khan Juti Feb 2019
When crossing roads look.
Look left, look right.
When kissing your lover,
don't look. Stay blind.
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