It's harder for my lungs to open up to new air when you're here than when you're not
After all your presence takes all the space I used to shape to fit my own self my own taste
Instead you force me into a mold you've created Force my body to fit my mind to submit my patience to coexist with things I never wanted A life not made for me
I'm just one of your mannequins to pass the time when people disappoint you life doesn't go your way your choices don't matter so that you can shape me into your own frustrations and smother my essence
I'm just one of your mannequins and now that you've left I don't fit in myself.
I was in love with a girl once who didn't love me back. She made me feel inadequate but also the best, most unrealistic version of myself
Applauds on resilience Persistence and stubbornness Born to make, to create Sees all in which nothing should exist Imagine being that Potential is stored inside me Waiting but yet begging to be let out I starve myself my laziness What’s of all the effort if all I get is strife? Laugh at me all you want Is what you love worth the pain of caring? Knowing others will always be above you I’m so tired I shot myself short before I could even begin
One year. It felt like a cloudy night sky. Nothing. Darkness, suffocating, painful darkness. And then, occasionally, there were fireworks. Moments of joy that last for seconds, until they fade away.
I’ve been trudging through this darkness With no progress, no developments Beyond who I am inside. But the world doesn’t stop turning.
I still feel inadequate and talentless. I still feel like an empty void That has it together well enough that no one would look inside. But I’m about to tear apart.
I need to do something! I can’t be a parasite. But there’s nothing I can do. I feel so wrong.
Help me so I don’t need help.
I've still been writing, just not as much as before. University has been a huge waste of time so far and completely killed my creativity. I also feel alone and useless, so it's been fun lately. Sorry for vanishing for 6 months, I haven't forgotten about you all.
I love the night for the stars in the sky, Yet I hate it for the thoughts that come to mind... Thoughts of doubt while sleep won't find me, Thoughts of inadequacy nagging on me. That's why I lie awake, wishing to see stars instead And I ask myself a question: Just when will these thoughts end?