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Jeremy Betts Sep 6
The worst traits to have in a relationship,
I'm chalked full of 'em
Might have all of 'em
Been awhile since I counted 'em
Kinda lost count of 'em
Then lost track of 'em
Surely didn't embrace 'em
But didn't try to erase 'em
Look
I was either born with 'em
Given 'em
Or backstabbed with 'em
Then blamed for having 'em
Now all I'll I'm left with is 'em

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 6
The truth's often miss worded
Proof's too easily distorted
While trust gets quickly depleted
Then misery must be begrudgingly greeted
Good is historically related
To every bit of evil it created
As inner battles get heated
Dangerous thoughts are left untreated
Inner voices can't be silenced,
Only ever quieted
Insecurities refuse to be defeated
After hope has permanently retreated
Alone,
And on your own
Until the cycle is repeated

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 6
She advertised everything I wanted
Upon purchase it was nothing I needed
If only there was more time allotted
The warning signs could've been heeded
With the foundation now rotted
I'm reseated all alone and resented
Not fully unexpected,
But fully defeated
Deflated and almost deleted
Then the process gets repeated

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 5
Never did I intend
To depend
So heavily on this pen
And the hand it was able to lend
But if I didn't spend
The time I did attend
Like if I only spent the weekend
Workin' on me,
I wouldn't have been able to defend my heart
Or fend off the dark
Because I wouldn't have been able to comprehend
The in-between
Of the beginning and the end

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 4
Let me hear,
Please tell me,
Try to make clear
That you know everything
Or anything for sure
And I'll make sure
To reassure
That you sir
Are a lier
'Cause even the son of the maker
Says his own father
Is the only one to know for sure
When the rapture
Will occur

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 4
To be able to talk to
And through
This paper with a pen
Has been
A god send
Not letting me break,
But letting me bend
Allowing me to mend,
Both my mangled heart and broken spirit,
Like a good friend

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 4
My biggest regret
Is when I forget
That in a troubled mindset
A good outlet
Is an irreplaceable asset

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 2
The wind screamed outside
And yet I wasn't afraid
I engaged and took the ride
Accepting the path that it made
It lead me out of my own mind
It was beautiful, I danced and I played
But I returned terrified
Because it looks like I could fall on my own blade

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 1
Sometimes when lost in thought
It's a struggle to get back
Bearings don't exist in this mangled plot
Keep jumping off track
Connections gone, surely I've lost a dot
Probably more than that
I was taught too take your shot
I find myself on the attack
Not sure if it was the good fight I fought
Regardless,
I still fell through the crack
The one thing that was not taught
Is what you'll loose if and when you fall flat

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 31
Kindness didn't always come easy
I spent far to many years angry
I thought there was no choice,
"That's how the world made me"
But that's not what comes naturally
It's simply not me

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 31
"Follow your dreams"
Well, okay
My dreams are nightmares
Rather not bring them into the light of day
I don't see the benefit
But anyway,
I'm on my way
When I crash and burn
Then what will you say?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 31
I cry
Recently quite a lot
Some tears fall with no why
Most are no longer fought
Like rain from the sky
Weather wanted or not
Emotions flood the eye
The mind an impossible knot
Man card revoked, no reapply
I push through all for naught
Every try
A long shot...
But it's all I got

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 31
Honestly
I don't know what's wrong with me
Can't pinpoint why no one wants me
I just don't seem to be worthy
Not worth it to friends
Not to lovers
Not even family
And what's worse
Is if there's a god
I'm not worth his time either
And he's the creator
So that hurts
Because supposedly
He made me
I cry alone
When no one wants you
You can't expect them to care
Anything about a single tear
Sitting forever
Across from an empty chair
With a double dose of fresh despair
Topped with doubt and fear
And unlike times prior
It can no longer be covered by a simple veneer
Or distracted by yet another maybe year
'Cause you're always askin',
"How come he don't want me man?"
And when I reach out for an embrace...
There's no one ever there

©2024
•°•°•THE UNCLE PHIL YOUTUBE CLIP•°•°•
It gets me every time
https://youtu.be/gMNsMdnSBIk?si=KVKvZp-aeSEuqTVd
Jeremy Betts Aug 30
Another failure?
Sure
Stack it here,
On the left shoulder
The right shoulder
Is occupied by a boulder
Otherwise what do I care
Just next in the long line,
A tether,
To the newest nightmare
That'll transition seamlessly,
I swear,
Seemingly out of thin air
Into a more current,
Living daymare
I know the routine
But you can see the ware
You can count every tare
I can't hide the despair,
It shows up everywhere
I wasn't taught how to prepare
But have noticed each and every year,
Yeah after year,
Less and less people care
About that detail in particular
So I run perpendicular
To my failure
Maybe forever
Especially if I have to be
My own savior

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 29
The result of life is death
The price of life is your sanity
The toxins leach more from each drawn breath
Eating away at both mind and body
One day more replaces you with one day less
A simple enough concept conceptually
Everything living is born with this terminal illness
No one has ever survived this tragedy

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 29
To be honest,
I don't miss you
To be honest,
I'm lying

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 29
How can I love anyone
When I hate myself so completely
"Can't love yourself means the lady's sung, love is done"
That's what they say face to face and back to me
I only feel real between the setting and rising sun
Daylight, she has no use for me
I run when I should stay, I stay when I should run
Any past lesson dissolves immediately
This current tale can stop being spun
I wish to fade to black discretely

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 28
When I look into your misleading eyes
I wish I didn't see past the disguise
I'd rather not be face to face with deceit and lies
That give my walls a reason to rise

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 28
When young
You think you'll never grow old
When old
You forget what it means to be young
And I?
I wonder aimlessly somewhere in the middle
Jeremy Betts Aug 26
Can't take another
New beginning
Of the end
Of the last
New beginnings
Dead end

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 26
It was never about
Taking the easy route
I was just desperate
And made a last ditch effort
To get the pain out

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 26
Look,
Maybe I'll pick my last breath
Maybe I won't
Maybe today I out maneuver death
Maybe I don't
Maybe true love will last past fresh
Maybe nope
Maybe I can have one problem less
Maybe with hope
There's far too much maybe
Life is difficult to promote

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 26
Everything I write is filled with the same,
It's all hurt and pain
And feeling insane
And how I can't stay in my own lane
Continually asking, "what's wrong with this brain?"
While evening else sounds like
Complain
Complain
Complain
It's just easier to remember the rough terrain
And every little stain
Leading me to ask, "why should I remain?"

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 26
I'm a nice guy
So I know I'll finish last
Push me too far though
And find the guy with the last laugh

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 24
I'd rather be alone
Than to be this lonely
With someone beside me
I'd much rather be
Just me only
Till it's just me and my headstone

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 24
In order to be with you
I had to sacrifice the last part of me
That I really liked
So I find myself here with you
With nothing left of me
Too actually be liked

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 24
Life is a game
You don't choose to play
The choice comes
In continuing to the next day
But is it a choice?
The questions asked knowing full well what they'll say
"No matter what happens,
You have no choice but to stay"

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 24
High on hope
It's more dangerous than any drug
The natural euphoria
Still gets pulled out from under like a rug
Beware the come down
Depressions clutch can be disguised as a hug
Careful when digging for more
You might realize it's your own grave that you've just dug

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 24
Wanting to feel
The sensation of something real
Needing to heal
Wounds I never wanted to reveal
What I conceal
Will only lead to a repeat ordeal
I keep taking the deal
While not understanding life's appeal

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 16
Love me or hate me
Both have shaped me
I'm nothing more
I'm nothing less
Than what you see directly
With all honesty,
It's more than a philosophy
When I say "no matter what is tossed at me,
The good, the bad, the ugly,
It all now rolls right off of me"

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 15
More times than not,
The hero in me
Trips over the zero in me
I get caught,
Tangled up in the calamity
Of this often-overlooked emergency
A played-out plot,
So there's no urgency
I already know the worst in me
I don't pick my spot,
Never holding back what I let people see
Keeping me under wraps was getting especially tricky
I don't know what I wanted, or what I thought
But this is what I got,
Me,
My own worst enemy

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 15
Deathly allergic to life itself oddly
Takes roughly 90 years to die from it if you're lucky
But you see, luck doesn't know me
So we'll see how far I get past 40

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 15
You can only add to your pain
Nothing takes it away
I know, I know
What a thing to say
But I'm 40 years into this train wreck
And, to my dismay,
It's looking that way
I pray to be wrong,
I swear I do
Every single moment,
Of every single day

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 15
You're heartless and cold
Leaving my heart a mess
You pieced out your soul
Mine fell prey to your emptiness
Was it your plan to let go?
I wonder as I struggle with the process
I believed in what I was sold
You bragged like this was a side quest
I didn't notice I was enrolled
In your narcissistic contest
You were waiting for me to fold
Ready for another conquest
You reveled in my fall
You mocked my best
I gave you my all
You left me the rest

©2024
Aug 14 · 383
×X× Toxic ×X×
Jeremy Betts Aug 14
Am I drunk on the thought of you,
Or drunk trying to erase it?
Let's face it
We can probably trace it
Back to a certain night or two
After a couple shot turned into that plus a few
And pinpoint hindsight warnings of why we shouldn't have chased it
"Why did we decide to continue?"
While standing in the midst of it
Neither of us knew
No wait, that's bull $hit
Mixed with cow poo
So much more than not a good fit
Too dysfunctional to keep it basic
Far too broken,
Or stubborn,
To replace it
The end was nearer than the beginning of this reckless trek
Like some kind of voodoo hex preformed in a parents basement,
A bad magic trick
Or joke gone cosmic
We knew it
Because we saw it
Even enjoyed living it for a hole second
Go collect your winnings if you bet we couldn't
Because we couldn't,
We blew it
Though the end was nothing new
It barley brought any blue
But still we pretended we had no clue
Of course that isn't true
It was coming right for us, and quick
Tried to sneak around it,
Then tried dodging it,
There was no jumping out of the way last minute
We never had a chance and had to admit it
We weren't equipped to brace for it
Now we get to pay for it
But these days, who can afford it?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 13
I've been right here
Waiting
Wanting
Longing
Long past forever
Wondering
Wishing
Lusting
Allow me one day past never
To win you over for the rest of forever
Before you close the book on this chapter
And once again I have to find another happily ever after

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 13
I close my eyes to try to hide
Cloaked by the darkness I've kept inside
It's the only comfort I've been able to find
The only problem is...it's the worst kind

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 13
Eyelids drop like guillotine blades
Cutting off a visual connection with reality
The world falls into the vastness of a bottomless basket
And the body becomes unimportant
As this energy that was once somebody moves on to what's next

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 11
The is basically what I'm saying
United we can do anything
Divided begins the ending
A foundation's crucial to a building
Especially to the occupants who'll later will be residing
This universal truth sits, underlying
A fundamental truth we're collectively ignoring
And it will continue eroding
'Till it's left us with nothing
And this "nothing" is deserving
No matter the wording
Listen to the message we're sending
We must ignore the extremest energy both sides are implementing
Take this with a grain of salt but know this isn't simple flavoring
I don't understand the debating
If you don't get it by now what's the use of explaining

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 11
I'm reminded I'm standing in the middle of my bull $hit
By a credible doomsday profit
Felt like a kidney punch followed by a di¢k kick
A devastating hit
Not a knockout blow but still significant
Physical and mental damage present
Pray it's not permanent
Contemplating what it'd mean if I quit
Then the bell saved me ultimately,
Sending me to my corner to sit
Maybe I just need to cool down a bit...

®2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 11
I don't know what can be done,
But I've never felt as lonely
As I do when I'm not alone
And though I know it's not me only
I feel like the only one

©2014
Jeremy Betts Aug 11
Will tonight be the night
I give up the fight?
Come to think of it
We don't have the right
To extinguish our own light
And for those who do
Compassion can be so finite
Gotta wait for hindsight

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 10
If you were to say I've done a lot wrong
You would be right
If you were to say I knew right from wrong all along
You would be right
If I were to say I know I will win this fight
I would be wrong
If I said at the end of this tunnel I see light
I would be wrong

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 9
Silence
I wish for more of it
Violence
They'll always be more in store I bet
Distance
Can't get enough of it
Reliance
Runs parallel with my regret

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 9
How wrong can one living entity be?
If I were to prove the possibility of constantly,
Alongside the concept of completely
If I were to say to you it's daily, weekly, monthly, yearly
And remind of the times it's happens a couple minutes early
If I were to let you see,
Let you watch it play out in me,
Would you keep questioning me?
Would you finally let me be?
Just leave me to wallow in this myriad of pity
Allowing me to then get back to tripping over my own two feet for at least the rest of my eternity
I'm okay with it, really

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 8
Quicksand foundation
Holding on by a strand of frustration
I sacrifice that hand, call it a mutation
Where will I land?
Your guess is as good as my last one,
And that wasn't one I could count on

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 8
What have I gained?
What have I tossed?
What has been the actual cost?
All of this pain
A heart of frost
None of it worth what has been lost

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 8
"Last thing I remember was being in
This death spiral tail spin
A nightmare I woke up still in
My question?
Why then
Should I bother to wake up again?
Does anyone have a good explanation
Nearing even a distant point of reason?"
He asked in desperation

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 7
Pit answerless questions
Against questionless answers
The stuff no one mentions
It just sits and it festers
The best of intentions
Played out by the worst actors
Heathens and hellions
Aren't the back stabbers

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 7
Not startin' $hit
Just talkin' it
And I can talk it
'Cause I walk it
I believe in talk $hit
Get hit
I can take a hit
So come with it
Or I'm gonna have to ask you to step back a bit and sit

©2024
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