It is all too easy to blame yourself
It is even easier to blame someone else
It is harder to accept the truth, even when the truth is,
You messed up

Time is the the most subtle
Illusion on the face of reality
Because sometimes, and we all get this,
Time speeds up for us or slows down

It's easy for me to write a song,
I hum the bars and sing along
Music stirring in my brain
That I can't release so I go insane

I just hope that by posting lyrics
Someone will know what I meant to do with it
That someone will have my music in their head
And that shared like telepathy will be the lullaby to bed

There are the whispers that call the crows and these crows are numbered three. They are named Gullibility, Doubt and Misery

If ever a time you lose your strength or become lost amongst the pain, then these three crows will ensure you never find your way

Gullibility you see, with eyes as black as mud, has razor claws always red for he always draws first blood

Doubt is quite plain but with ruffled feathers greyed. Not so much the specialist, but is best amongst the plague

And finally swoops Misery, bloodied beak on black. The final move in a worn out soul, Death's merciful attack

Judgement is offered without being asked for,
Just remember that.
Vyscern

To be a good judge of character
You gotta see further than the books front cover
You have to look deeper, must find meaning
Between the pages and the paragraphs and what it is you're seeing

Know that every page number is another day on scene
Know that pages are stained from the blood we bleed
Know that pages crumple with the words unspoken
And know each new chapter is a lifetime token

Some may label "money", "corruption", "greed"
But know you can help swiftly as Godspeed
They opened up to you and it's up to you to see
That crazy times make people do crazy things

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

She opened up to me, for strangers advice
Is easier to get than from others in your life
There's no fear of judgement, disappointment, or people
Who like to spill secrets that are too dark and evil

I looked in the mirror and it became see-through
Not a reflection of myself just Myself Mark 2
It's funny how that works, the lies we pursue
The hope that something worse will surely make a better you

Know that the engravings on each book spine
Is a scar from the past, another mark in time
As you run your fingers you ask "where is the beauty?"
If you look past the cover you may finally see

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I can't tell you how to run your life
But I tell you it's dangerous to run with knives
Maybe you don't care because pains the prize
Trust me, it's a trap that'll **** you as you fly

Icarus himself fell from the clouds
And plummeted to the ocean, an arrow straight down
I will help you surely as Jesus Christ
Has been told from three days to come back to life

So I may die, but that's okay
With wax wings I flew too high anyway
The pain is a trap that'll **** you as you fly
And I'm not ready to ready another goodbye

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

I will hold out for you
Talk to me, make me see
Convince me that its true
That it's not worth helping you

I'm just holding out the hope,
Standing still as I reel against the ropes
Tell me how long til I fall down
Weightless as a feather, gone without a sound

You've had a rough day
I know what that's like
Believe me, you'll see
That life is a hike

But tonight
It's your time to relax
Don't reflect upon your day
Don't face the facts

Just be calm
Blow all your fears away
No more worries
For you today

Just rest your head
On the softest of pillows
Just lay in bed
Listen to the wind in the willows

Blow away
All the troubles of today
And listen to the wind
As the light begins to fade

Yeah I've seen some ****
And felt deeply about all of it,
Been places and seen faces, wish I could forget
And some things I wanna take back, that I shouldn't have said

But it's easier said than done,
The past catches me up whenever I try to run
So I reflect on how I'm such a reject
Not accepted simply because I'm different

But not everyone sees what I see
That everybody's different, in their own way unique
Some believe in love at first sight, I didn't
And if she sees this she'll probably be suspicious

But there's so many different meanings for the word love
And so many times I think I've had enough
Of trying my hand at trying to hold another's hand
I put in more effort than I seem to, understand?

It's just another facade, another masquerade
Of people hiding thoughts and ideals so that they stay safe
But how in the world is this world gonna change,
When nobody opens up and it all stays the same?

I turn and look inside myself
And I enter a world of angels and demons
The light, and the dark,
And so I watch these ethereal visions

Variant: Angel    

The wind whips at my hair
As I stand in a deserted parking lot
With birdsong playing all around
Angels as doves, reminding me all is not lost

They circle high, and swoop down
I look up and my face is bathed in light
And am given the strength to push on
To succeed at life, to keep pressing the fight

I silently thank these angels from above
For allowing me
To find serenity
From the visions of a dove.

Variant: Demon

Surrounded by darkness,
Crows peck at my flesh
They steal the air from my lungs
And laugh as I suffocate without breath

They caw at me, laughing,
As I fail to live my life
Showing me my own torture weapons:
Scissors, razor, knife.

My scars rip open
And my blood comes gushing out
Yet it's not this that kills me
It's my mind being smothered by doubt

Epilogue:

I open my eyes
And think: torture or serenity?
Do I wish to feed my demons
Or release the angels stored within me?

Ask yourself this question,
Every time you make a decision
Will this choice drop me dead
Or keep my heart, pulsing, beating?

With nowhere to run,
And nowhere to hide,
The bitter truth eats away
At my insides.

Trapped in a cage,
Lock hid away
Clock ticking down,
Day after day

I'm quite like a bomb,
Ready to blow
When time runs out,
Then time will seem to slow

Boom

Like a Phoenix,
Rise from the ashes
Eyes mirror thoughts
As fire flashes

Speak what you wish
I will not take offence
So let your mouth run wild
Give up this polite pretence

Speak with emotion,
So raw that nobody can doubt
That the opinion you voice is true
Whether in a whisper or a shout

Be loud and be quiet,
Be outrageous and subdued
If you wish you can be polite
But I don't care if you are rude

Tell me what goes on
In your pretty little mind
Behind your stunning eyes
To where your true thoughts hide

You can tell me anything
That is why I am a friend
Like a Phoenix from the ashes
True to self, do not pretend

(For I am here until the end).

They don't know me and they say they care,
How can you care when there's nothing there?
You may like me that's not enough,
You throw it to me but I don't trust

You say you support me, then why don't I feel it?
Face it man, the truth has you reeling
Say that you're there and then turn your back
When I bare the brunt while you cut your slack!

******* hell, there's one example
In this laboratory, here's the samples
Little bit of hate and a quarter of misery
Mix that **** and put it against greed

I'm not yours so you try and take me
Divide and conquer, not so you see
I'd face the world if all you wanted was death
You can pin that **** up on my chest

I'll die on my terms, **** your game
If you wanna die then just stay the same
You ***** and you moan how nothing will change
YOU DONT EVEN TRY TO REARRANGE

Call me depressed and call me ******
You're only checking two off of that list?
Try psychotic, try neurotic,
For ***** and gigs maybe tick ******

They're zooming around like planes in my head
Every time you speak everything drops dead
You set up a lie just to live it through
You start on drugs for something to do

I can't help, try helping yourself
Because you're not dead, just killing everything else
I had such hope and where'd it go?
Maybe up in smoke, maybe up your nose?

You're not stupid stop acting
You ain't no robot you've got feeling
I'm walking dead but I'm still bleeding
Walking dead and my heart's still beating

If I'm going down, I'll do it alone
Not when in surrounded by love that's grown
I'm falling down but she's still catching me
Just to pick me up and dust my knees

Maybe I'll get better I don't know
Everything in my head makes life seem low
Our difference is I know how I'll die
And it won't be because I let **** lie!

The things that I’ve been told,
And all the lies that spread
The rumours I watch unfold
Let torture claim my head

To open who I am
A lock that gleams so cold
To end where I began
To sell before I’m sold

A tragedy unfolds
Not all that gleams is gold
My actions deemed as bold
My habits have grown old

Tiring of this life
Aged before my time
I wish to say goodbye
Unlock a deep bloodline

The dark drowns the light
And the light no longer shines
The key, it gleams so bright
And now I bid goodbye

So now you're finally here
My voice is hoarse, I have no tears
I shed them all when I screamed your name
So long and so loud but you never came!

I only saw you in my dreams
Apart from that you remained unseen
You promised you'd be there for me
But you weren't when my world split its seams!

I tried to crawl away
Away from the fighting and the pain
But all I have, it seems
Is this world others have made!

So don't tell me to calm down!
Why don't you just go away?
Leave me be, as you did
And ignore me as I fade away!

My baby girl walked into the cold night, alone
Left a ****** trail for me to follow
I found her body, both wrists were slit
Her body was like ice, the pain was a hard hit

Her blood pooled all over the stone,
It did look tempting, to try and follow
But to do so is an eternal mistake
Suicide, the worst death on offer from fate.

The blood had now become a Blood Lake,
Coupled with my tears, yet it all felt fake
"How can any of this be real?"
Through my chest, a searing pain did rake

I open my eyes, and look at the roof
My chest heaves, my heart in pursuit
All of this because I'm afraid of
Losing you.
Without you, I don't know what
I would do.

People are literally dying every single day
But only the celebrities manage to make the front page
A higher level of honour because they gotta lotta dollar
What about the people hard pressed showing signs of survival?

You dont hear the stories of people rotting away
Inside a straight jacket of "normal" human flaws, they say
You dont feel the pain of banging heads going down corridors
You dont see the stress of death clutching your heart to his chest like pause...

Consider whats wrong
How suicide rates escalate since before I was born there's something
In the air, a blank stare or soulful eyes
Begging with each blink that you might hear their silent cries they deny!

Their own existence is not as important as yours
So stop and think a second time before they hit the floor
With gunshots at 50, and with depression about 90,
The percent of people dead per annum, they dont need this **** i highly

Doubt you gave a ****, doubt you wished them luck
Doubt you'd be the mechanic to fix this faulty truck
Just a little more, all the times you saw
Those eyes pierce the night from under those black nightly hoods

Therein is chaos in mechanics, robotics, electronics,
And that's what y'all have become, bystander demonics
Every day is the same to you, every try is lies to truth
Nobody seems to realise there's help needed for our ******* youth!

Turn to drugs to have some fun, cant feel the pain when you're feeling numb
Chemicals to help uphold the happiness you had when you were young
Alcohol to help absolve
The sins of past remain unsolved
But thats okay when every day you forget the reason you were born!

Blades to skin to drown the pain
The blood we washed won't truly stain
Every mark will always change
Every scar will stay the same

Every day is all in vain
All the anger we locked away
In the hopes that it would fly away and fade as fast as the light of day!

Blog our thoughts to keep us sane!
This stabs our mind, steel to brain!
A monster crying out for aid
BUT ALL YOU DID WAS NEVER CHANGE!

So you walk along the sidewalk
You dont see, them swinging
They felt they never had a choice
You never cared, when they lost their voice...

What keeps me up all night
Is my own vivid imagination
Creating swirling embers, smothering smoke
And the bright flashes and crackle of flame

What keeps her up all night
Is she simply cannot sleep
And maybe she can't sleep
Partly because of me

Either way, we are both maniacs
And I know I'm happy to be one

So will you burn the world with me?

A whisper of green,
A show of scale
Flickering tongue,
And whiplash tail

A facade fixed upon your face
Oh how you blend in with us, human race
The one thing that really gives you away
Is the toxins running through my veins

This is for the ones who suffer..
We all suffer..
I guess what I'm tryna say is..
This for all of us,
Here we go!

He gets up, another day,
Another laid to waste
Procrastination is the game
Doesn't know the word haste

He looks around, the sights he sees makes him so upset
He's just hoping that someday, he might forget
So that he can rest peacefully, for he never rests easily
When he gets shoved around, smacked down, so unequally treated

Hated for the way he walks, the way he looks, his voice
If it was all left to him, if he had a choice
He'd change it all, because he can't change the world
Something he's discovered, no matter how he yelled

People don't change, they can only adapt
Adaptation across the nation or else get bashed
Fragile and broken lay the pieces of him
So with renewed energy, unleashed the demon within

Now he's angry, upset because he knows the truth
Even though technically he's just a youth
A world that has ****** him since his birth
Now he's cracking down on others making them eat dirt

And taste the bitterness and the blood in their mouth
Words don't do anything, his only option this route
Regrettable as it seems, it's the only way
That he can go to sleep at the end of the day

We suffer at the hands of those who suffered
Suffering on repeat, no opportunity offered
We take offence, take the hits and dish them out ourselves
No us, we or team, just Me and Myself

She feels down, feels stressed but she figures it's just school
However, not the case, treated like a fool
Tossed around, used up, like a rusty tool
Breaking down inside, but the façade must rule

Never show emotion, because it will break you down
Pain makes others laugh so crazy, like a circus clown
Insane in the membrane, but pain's the game
If you don't try to change it, it'll stay the same

She wants to be successful, and get a job
But it's hard when you can't focus, she's feeling robbed
Opportunity passes by, cruising like a ship
But bullies anchor her down, she can't deal with it

So she turns to the mirror, and asks herself, "Why?"
"I wanna be myself but whenever I try...."
She can't finish the sentence, the blade didn't miss
How's she gonna tell her Mum her wrists are slit?

Angry red lines like the rage inside
Finally she let it out and it made her cry
Cruelty to misfits in a world like this
The pain overwhelms her, and a tear does slip

Splashes on the floor, a diamond speck
Thinking she is so ugly, another reject
Across the street, on his feet, he thinks he suffers alone
Head down, small frown, puzzled he doesn't know

Their situations are similar though not alike
He cuts himself too, sometimes, when he feels so like
The demon within, they both got demons to face
But either way, they still suffer, no matter how hard you pray

We suffer at the hands of those who suffered
Suffering on repeat, no opportunity offered
We take offence, take the hits and dish them out ourselves
No us, we or team, just Me and Myself

We suffer..
We suffer..
Procrastination across the faces and pains the game
If you don't try to change, it'll stay the same

We suffer...
We suffer....
They look in the mirror and question life
Later realise they can reach the sky

We suffer

Memories,
Like ashes
Scatter on the wind
As fire flashes

Embers rise,
On blackening smoke
Then die down
Once water has woke

Memories,
Like the light of day
Once bright,
Then fades away

Leaving streaks of light
During sunset
As the moon rises
On a wave of regret

Memories
Both bitter and sweet
Make time go past
In your mind's retreat.

Star Gazer:
Unlucky overlord from sydney australia. Named hidden agenda before.

We conversed in only poetry remember?

For once where the tyre swing hung on the tree
Now hangs a broken noose....

Remember?

Conor Blatchford:
I remember, for our poetic talk
Became our poetry
And I always did enjoy
The leisure of a pleasant memory

Star Gazer:
A pleasant memory twas,
But memories get forgotten,
But I do send applause,
For a memory unlike cotton.

Conor Blatchford:
Applause graciously accepted,
No roses are thrown but none needed
That memory was but a play, one of many
That in life will continually be seeded

Star Gazer:
Until uprooted without reason
Dangling onto what is left,
And heart plays traitor in treason,
And memory is but a theft.

Conor Blatchford:
True, memory is not quite the event
But tend and care for it like any plant
And it will grow into something fond
Something that becomes more real and less like a mask

Star Gazer:
Humans are attracted to masks,
Cruel facades are what we have known all our lives.

Conor Blatchford:
A façade makes life worthwhile
A display of grace and eloquent style
Hiding what we truly are
Is perfectly understandable, not in the least bizarre

Star Gazer:
But where is the line between imaginary and reality,
Feeding false hopes and liee to banality,
It is just one step closer to hell,
And one stop further from heaven as well

Conor Blatchford:
Heaven and Hell are concepts designed
To induce goodness and quell pride
For even though evil creates a social reject,
An old saying re-written: no-one is perfect

So how are we supposed to climb
The stairway to Heaven with imperfection in mind?
Wouldn't it be just easier to fall
Into the Hellhole that awaits us all?

Every glance in the mirror
Seeing the spitting image of my dad
And mad because
I could never be that

That man
Worth ten times what I could ever be
And all this I see
Every time my eyes wander

Over a reflective surface
The pain he keeps bottled up inside
No **** it hurts
He looks into a puddle, that
Shows him his own sorrow

And it endless
And like a newborn baby
Helpless, defenceless
And as always, friendless

They say appreciate what you got,
I got nothing
I sometimes wish I could turn it
Into something

But who is really there for me,
When I need them most
And I bet you all probably
Raise your hands in support

But I know next to none of you
And you can call this a pity party, if you will
But it's the only sorta party I get invited to
So pardon me while I pop this pill

The one that takes me to Wonderland
Right before I die
The one that makes me fade away
At the end of the night

Mirror mirror, on the wall
Tell me how the fallen, fall?

Well now, come now, let me show
All the pain I've ever known...

Mark my words, I marked my skin
Thin red lines of crimson sin

Seeping through their open wounds
The more I made, like blossom, blooms...

So I was hollow, devoid of all
I am how the fallen, fall

Mirror, mirror, just a mask
All they'll see is shattered glass...

It's all just cause and effect,
Protect and reject
Detect and defect,
Discard and collect

Trust in the trash,
Liars mix and match
Selling you the shady ****
That destroys every pact

Getting luck from a draw
The Irish in me is called
As my number is pulled
Adrenaline is pulled forth

But here is my call,
The Misfortunate fall
Around me stands doors
And all lead to closed corridors....

I don't know if you can see,
What I have become
For so long and so far,
Has been the distance that I run

Yet no matter how hard I try
To stand against the cold
It freezes me straight to the core
And so I stand alone

I found you, I fell for you
I guess it's meant to be
The strength of my true self
And the other turned its cheek

Surrounded by the bitterness
I fought for what I love
But now this Hell bares witness
To see it's not enough...


Oh how I love to love you so,
To touch your pretty face
The moment I laid eyes on you
My anguish was erased

But when you're far from my reach
My arms are filled with lead
A poison spreading through my mind
A fate to strike me dead


I saw you as my everything,
Isolation was my foe
So hard it seemed at times to me
To let that poison go

I knew it wasn't possible
I said it so myself
But you have always loved me like
Nobody else

The mirror shows the sticks and stones
That broke my very heart
It's held together by my faith
A faith that hates to last

So I push it further and further still
I want to stay by you
But the voices whisper in my ear
IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!


Oh how I love to love you so,
To touch your pretty face
The moment I laid eyes on you
My anguish was erased

But when you're far from my reach
My arms are filled with lead
A poison spreading through my mind
A fate to strike me dead


It's hard to live with myself
Knowing only I care
The second one never begun
He hates the way I stare

You're so god-**** beautiful
It really makes me think
Some stories are repeats
Here's Beauty, here's the Beast!

No matter what she says to me
I'll always love you, you know
That's why I'll never say goodbye
I'll hold out for hope


Oh how I love to love you so,
To touch your pretty face
The moment I laid eyes on you
My anguish was erased

But when you're far from my reach
My arms are filled with lead
A poison spreading through my mind
A fate to strike me dead

This poison taking over me,
I figured out its name...
The poison is Obsession
And it will take me to the grave...

The poison is Obsession
And won't miss my dying day...

I'm on a lifetime mission
And I possess the volition
To relentlessly pursue my objective
To not fall into submission

I aim to be a Man of Honour
To be successful,  et voila,
To rise and conquer any challenge
To get up and push further

I have myself a simple dream
To be the best that I can be
This is my own lifetime mission
And with this wish I will succeed

Mistress Misery,
You remind me of many things
Of things such as an aching, thudding heart
Of lost marriage rings

Of rainfall
During a bleak, cloudy day
Pattering a tune of blues
With a black cat lurking, a homeless stray

Of slow-played violins
Strumming across many a sad note
Of pointless lives, causing crushing depression
To which many a person does devote

Of abandoned houses, of creaking floorboards
Of dust, cobwebs and failing light
Of storm thundering whilst the moon is up
A desolate, cold, wet and empty street in the midst of night.

Mistress Misery,
You remind me of darker times in life
It's just in your nature
To show the dark, to show the afterlife

Me, me, me
Always me
Hiding away the monster
Hoping that nobody sees

I slip up sometimes
And a shudder through my spine
My head twitches to one side
And everything is red lines

Time for me to rise and make it end, once again
That voice in my head always putting me on edge
I talk to him sometimes, people think that I'm crazy
And perhaps I am, maybe, just maybe...

I growl in anger too,
A deep guttural sound
That makes people step away
That makes others turn around

I'm scared of my own monster
Perhaps you should be too
Because when I've had a **** day,
Target marked and he's hunting you

A monster with a mask
Represents what lies in us
How we come alive the moment
The sky goes dark

Partying and popping pills
Drinking and dancing for the thrills
Happiness worn by the saddened
So high on drugs, their depression pardoned

So excuse me if I'm cynical
And yes I'm hypocritical
But why do we claim perfection
When a monster is our reflection?

The cave that is my mind,
Quite unique, not hard to find
In the quiet, shifting gloom
Where leaves rustle and mushrooms bloom

Enter it, and the walls glow faintly,
Here time never runs out, it lasts indefinitely
See that light at the back of the cave?
It's actually a rather accommodating escape

Pass through the vines that grow thick and hang low,
From high above, a silvery glow
That sets the dew on the grass sparkling
A beautiful moth perched, it's perfection startling

Flowers of faint colours grow in the ground,
Of this hidden retreat, rarely found
Where all the best things I do keep
Within my mind's haven, it is easy to sleep

A funny little word
Made up when I was hurt
Mesmerised
By the skies
I thought "what the **** is murderize?"

I say it to my friends
A humorous little joke
"I'll murderize your family
And on my **** they will choke."

They laugh and sputter
I guess I'm that amusing
Even when I joke about
Killing and abusing

They know I don't mean it
That I'm just *******
So if I say it to you
Know it don't mean ****

Drowning in a sea
Of Uncertainty,
Impaled on the rocks
Of Revenge

Burning in a fire
Of Hatred,
Death points his finger,
"This is where you meet your end".

Hollow, empty
Devoid of emotion
Unsure as to who I am
No cure, no potion

Mimic the cries
Of our endless lies
Hoping to fit in,
To belong, feel security within

But it scares me,
As I'm sure you can see

I want to be myself
All I need is help
To bring out who I really am
And hope that, socially, this isn't my end

I feel so lost,
So totally unlike what
Everyone expects of me
And what I expect of myself, the whole lot

I look inside myself
And all I see is utter blackness
Not because I am a demon,
But my actions have caused darkness

I didn't believe in myself
I wanted to be someone else
Everything I ever did
Was based off of not being the "weird kid"

The one with the buck-teeth,
That "Aspy", abnormal boy
I wanted to be part of a group
Not a bullies favourite toy

But I also wanted to do what I like,
Talk of dinosaurs, aerodynamics and castles
Not to be just another
Fashion, gaming and acting apostle

Guess that didn't work out so well, now did it?
Because I don't know which parts of me
Are the real me, not the "fitting" in me
That is something I cannot see clearly

I just want to be myself
Not a creation moulded by society
But I don't exactly have a choice now, do I?
I must face the humility.

Confidence from self-assurance
Reassuring myself, ignoring disturbance
Pushing my feelings back, bottling them up
Ready to burst, to pop my top

An excuse to amuse
To use and abuse
All in the name of happiness
Suppressing my loneliness

Loner I am, I walk a lonely road
Yeah sure, only one I've ever known
Green day fan, not knowing where I'll go
But this is home to me so I walk alone

Destined to solitude
Friends come and friends go
Betrayal, distance or another path
Sure, I'm all alone, and I walk this road

It's filled with potholes, hills and unknown bumps
But no matter the state of disrepair, I only see crows
Some say I'm unique, different, one-of-a-kind
And where I'm going, nobody knows

I cause happiness on sight, and hatred sometimes
But I push on, negativity left behind
Sometimes it catches up, pulls me down
And whispers in my head, the only sound

The only thing constantly with me

As I walk down this dark alley
No sign of the end, no sights to see
Just voices, hatred, laughter and footsteps
Firmly fixed to a road unknown, firmly set

As I walk alone