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Jul 20 · 80
Don't Let Go
I live in outer space
I live far far away
take me back down to earth
to witness this new world's birth
Tell us the problems of today
take my hand and together we'll sweep it away
as long as you're with me and me with you
we'll be alright and that is the truth
Following the milky way
a constellation appearing just for today
This world is in shambles but that's alright
at least we'll see each other in our dreams tonight
'Forgive me if I have sinned'
but there's no other way for us to win
Just please don't let me fly too high
My head seems lost, lost in the sky
Tie a string
around my waist and bring me
Help me stay
Until the Sun rises, I'll be with you today
This world is in shambles but that's alright
at least I can protect you all through the night
I'll listen to those sweet little sounds
that soft little smile, helps me stay on the ground
So if you let go
I just want you to know
I've loved you before, today, and again
and I'll never stop loving you as my love never
I wrote this mainly as a song so it would make more sense if read that way
Jul 11 · 219
Left Here
Another happy
helpful joy
she left this place without a word
I wanted to tell her everything
a friend a light

and now she's gone without a trace
Jul 10 · 93
my hand please
I can't let it be taken
Black around white
a single speck
static in my ears
can't take it. not my hand
static in my ear and lots of it
I see spoken words in writing
people turn away when hurt
I'm stuck staring
not my hand.
no noise to block out my thoughts
repeat each step without hesitation
listen, follow, no thinking allowed
I break it as soon as it's said
Jul 8 · 107
Tainted Homesickness
I want to go back
And then I don't
Reminded of back then when it was all a lie

Each reminder
that flower
that song
I loved you all so dearly
How could you have seen
nothing but a rag doll
Someone annoying and unpredictable
Having nothing of any good inside
you turned your heads
and left me to leave
without a single goodbye
I have a lot of poems to write when it comes to this...I'm going to try something happier later
Jul 8 · 143
Down the Road
Traveling down this
long old road
in a place I haven't been to in years
Traveling far away from my recent past
And although it was loved
I shed not a tear
Just a small essay of 14 paragraphs long
Was enough to confirm what I had thought
I was worthless in their eyes
each and every one
and if I had stayed
I would have just been

a l o n e
Jul 3 · 168
I'm a stain.
My life and personality is just a stain
I'm ink across the paper
of society.

I'm red.
I'm always angry at something or someone
And yet I'm always smiling and laughing
along with their insults.

I'm not broken, people just want to erase me.
I'm not supposed to be here, they say.
My type of weird
Is unacceptable to society, they say.

But each one of us is a different color
spread across this paper, no canvas
that is society
each of us a stain, no a streak

A brush of personality no one else can have
Together we are beautiful
and no one is going to tell me
that I'm not beautiful without lying to themselves

and being the same only makes the painting boring
this is all about personality not looks
I can barely lift my head
I haven't eaten a thing today
I was waiting for you to message me
It never happened.
I have permanent consequences from being friends with those people. I had no where else to go...
So I did a few things wrong
So I acted kind of strange
Why tell these things to me
While hiding behind a screen?
Well you were gonna come to my door
You were gonna tell me it there
But oh? Guess what?
I had other places to be.
I wrapped my life around all of you
You mentioned how I acted like the world
revolved around me, but I did
But I wasn't
and now I have to pay
I quit piano lessons
and never joined a club
I ignored Bible Study
Just to talk to you
I waited and I waited
But no one ever came
To say goodbye to me
before I flew away
So instead of saying 'I'll miss you'
You're saying '*******'
And I did everything I could and tried to make you happy
But my past that spilled from my lips
Made you hate me all so much
and the way I was
just ****** you all off more
Sorry for being a **** up
But that doesn't mean
I'm going to **** it all up
I'm sorry to be ******  but recently a friend sent me a hate message for being a person. I feel terrible 'cause some of it's true but really, what a petty *****.
Jun 6 · 304
Blood Violet
My hair is longer
than before
But lately
I want a little more

so bring the dye
and bring the paste
I'm feeling purple
so hurry before it's too late

'that looks kinda red, Ash'
In the end I think
the pain was too much to bear
to see such behavior coming from someone so beautiful
to see such hatred towards myself
coming from my own eyes,
eyes as lush and green as a forest canopy
at least that is how you described them back then

but your own eyes,
deep blue pools of loathing
for me
for her
for everyone around you,
they tell me what you truly mean.

That my eyes are dull and ugly
and better off looking in a different direction
and that you don't care what I do anymore
nor did you ever care

As long as no one is by my side
and that I do not exist to anyone other than myself

you will be happy
Most poems I write comes from personal experience if anyone cares to wonder. I don't listen to him anymore.
May 28 · 623
There's a world of pain waiting for us outside of that door.

You ready?
May 14 · 103
Are You Happy Now?
Look at the people around us
Dying, sick, alone
Look at the wondrous things
Some have
money, smiles, ******, and
Surplus of food
thrown all away
So many others still starving
these days
Illness stretches through the earth
And yet for others happiness
They still wander and play
in mirth
Making more sickness
making more death
are you happy now?
That some people no longer have breath?
May 13 · 651
Twisted Lullaby
Sleep tight my love
for tomorrow is a new day
Sleep tight my love
wrapped in this willow's grave

Cry not my darling
we are finally safe
Cry not my darling
tomorrow today will be erased

Look and see
Look and see
Gold as tangible
as the breeze

Look and see
Look and see
sleeping, dreaming
by the sea

Danger lurks in every corner
safe and sound you are in bed
snoozing 'neath the Willow Tree
rest your tiny head
good night, good morning, good afternoon
May 13 · 121
Do not fear tomorrow
for tomorrow will never come
do not fear the past
for the past is already done

do not cry for approval
for approval gives no bread
do not weep for the dying
instead laugh with the dead

follow the path of gravestones
decorated with gold
follow the dark and the light
to see which one takes hold

listen to the bird call
follow the raven's trail
listen to the wolf howl
watch him shake his tail

coo coo
caw caw

run as fast as we can

moo moo
ba ba

back to where it began
May 13 · 142
The World I Live In
You know the world is crazy
Is painful
Is cruel
When you hear
that a five year old's prayer to God
was to die.
she deserved better
May 5 · 58
If I could choose a day in the year where everything went right
I would never choose
Apr 29 · 60
Pixie Cut
Snip Snip
She's staring at me in horror
Snip Snip
My hair is growing shorter
Snip Snip

'You look like a boy, Ash'
Got a haircut that took me forever to get.
Apr 29 · 105
Chickens and Goats
Cherry plums for the small goat
Pits for the large chicken
Milk and water
Bury; slaughter

Remember to call me when it's done.
Apr 17 · 138
Leave Me to Pieces
Love is written in words and blood
Pain is anger and tears
Yet my hope is written as shattered
and devoured over the years

Each step I take is meaningless
Each thing I say, empty
I have nothing inside me left
the memories of people who leave me

As time drags on, my bones dry out
My skin wrinkles and sags
What is the point if there's no one to walk with
to talk with
for everyone else has passed
Apr 17 · 81
Grey Area
I walk a line
between sanity
and crazy
A balancing act
As loneliness sets in
I tilt to the edge

Because of this
No one can tell me right from wrong
without hearing a question
that stops them from forming a solid opinion
on what to do with the world

"What about the ones who benefit from the bad and the ones who suffer from the good?"
Apr 17 · 185
Bed Time Story
Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in a house full of shadows and mirrors with no one to help her out but herself. Cobwebs covered the corners and her feet and her eyes. At some point she had given up from leaving and stayed still for years. One day, there was a knock on the door and the girl shivered off her webs and slowly walked over to the locked door to set her ear against the cold wood. She didn't hear anything else other than a shuffle and the sound of footsteps walking away. The girl went back to her place where she had stood and found a crack of light across the mirror. Desperate to see and to escape the shadows she tried moving the mirror to reflect the light tenfold. But she pushed too hard and the mirror feel and shattered. She sat there in the broken glass, blood dripping from her legs. She sat there and cried, angry for the hope she had gotten. And she stayed still for another year until a knock at the door was heard again. This time she ignored it. She ignored it so well, she thought, that even when it got louder she turned her head, piercing her feet on the glass that still lay around her. She muffled a scream and listened to the knocking. It had stopped, why had it stopped? She got up to check the door, wincing in pain at each step. But when she pressed her ear against the door once more, the sound was gone and replaced with the echoing footsteps of someone leaving. The girl, angered, stomped back to her place only to see the light again. She felt excited and tried to at least touch the light, hold it in her hands to feel warm. She took a step forward, crashing into the mirror that had been reflecting it, once more breaking the reflective glass. More blood and pain and tears. The next time she saw the light or heard the knocking she ignored it.
It took years, each one annually the knocking came and went and the light feel across the girl in her cobwebs, shadows, and mirrors in a locked up house that no one noticed, wanted, or saw. She felt more and more alone with each coming day, the knocking the only thing that made her happy because it meant that something living was there at the other side of the door. If only she could open it.
One the day she decided to give up all thoughts of meeting the one who knocked at her door, she stood up and walked across the glass, tearing her feet. She crashed into mirrors, ****** and bruised she reached the door and leaned against it, crying.
When she heard the knocking she cried harder. The knocking continued, three even knocks. A pause. And then three even knocks. It would do this one last time. The girl was fed up with the knocking by now, so she decided to do it to them, too. She knocked back three times after the second knock of theirs. She waited. The knock came from them. She knocked back. It continued until the light in the house moved to the mirror in front of her fully and she saw herself, blood and tear stained in the reflection. She smiled at herself. She heard something move, something metal slide from underneath her door. Something cold touched her fingertips as she wrapped her hand around it. A rusty old key. She used it to unlock the door to see who had been knocking for her all those years. She opened the door.
And there the girl was, smiling back at herself. "You made it."
The End
ignore the formatting
Mar 27 · 100
It doesn't matter how well you write
Or how much time you take to
It all depends on whether or not
You were born fortunate.
Mar 22 · 159
Her Voice To Me
Only one thing can calm my raging seas
can soothe the overwhelming sense of doom
only one thing can warm me and give me light
in my darkest hours

She smooths over the bruises
and kisses my scars

Only one person has ever truly accepted me
Has taken my hand without fear or greed
She is the purest thing in my life
The only thing I need.
platonic love is still love
Mar 20 · 166
Through my teeth
gritted and grinding
lying to you
lying to me

Lying to everyone else here.
Mar 20 · 112
They are gone
There wasn't a chance
And yet I must've hoped

Why else would it hurt this much?
Today is painful
Mar 13 · 271
ink black eyes

broken bones

twisted smiles

no one's home.
Mar 13 · 185
The Hostage Flower
Twisting and turning
the stems are snapping
My mind can't take this wait
Burning and simmering
the petals make a tea
I don't want to drink your poison anymore
Why won't someone save me?
I'm alone in this world
tied to a chair
no one is ever here.
Mar 9 · 186
By playing hatred for attention
       the ones who need it are ignored.
                         Shaking, fidgeting
                                          tape around cotton *****
                red seeping through my shirt sleeve
                    They're going to see what I did
What I've become
What I always was inside.
It's no one's fault but my own
.     .     .
But they don't give a ****.
Mar 9 · 74

Help me.

Mar 8 · 172
People are Plants
forget me nots
purple and sweet
taste of perfection
**** and neat

as sugary as frosting
Growing with weeds
evil, secret, and mystery

they are the ones
they are the people
petals of blood

If they are flowers
I am a Dandelion
I take everything from everyone
and I am always lying
What do you think you are in terms of a plant?
Mar 8 · 108
Leaving for Good
I think he's dead
Or has moved on
Perhaps is scared
Perhaps is gone

Why won't he move?
Why isn't he breathing?
Yet somehow his words-?
How is he still speaking?

When someone leaves
They leave something behind
They leave the memories
They leave their footprints in lines

Sometimes I'll follow
Others I'll stay
But what is it worth?
They're still gone by the end of the day
She can't believe her eyes
Or ears
What this girl is saying
"I hid behind your house you know
I listened to your goodbye."
How could you?
She thought
Why did no one tell me the truth?
That was what hurt her the most.
And for that...she can't forget or forgive anyone
My ex told me the title once. It's a quote from him, enjoy.
Mar 8 · 242
He's standing there in sorrow
Faked and acted up
Probably practiced in a mirror
He's hiding the girl who's leaned against the wall
who's listening intensely
As he tells me he has to leave
Tears are burning my throat.
He leaves when I tell him to
He never comes back.
I don't want that liar to anyway.
Green and orange shrubbery
Pink and black sakura trees
Spring and Winter has barely passed until
Fall comes to stay
There's no snow anywhere anytime.
But the wind is very chilly mostly
The smell of dead leaves is everywhere
The sound of a drizzle and thunder
is more common than sunlight
Misery and loneliness cling to my legs
But they stay there like cloth
They keep me warm while everyone else
Cries over broken hearts and lost friendships.
This is where I am right now.
Why would I leave?
Mar 6 · 105
I Want to Write
I want to write
I want to write something
that hits the hearts of others
that makes them see
that makes them realize
that changes their lives forever
I want to write inspiration
I want to draw a forest of words with my pen
I want to live a life of happy smiles and meaningful conversations
I want to comb a river with my words
To speak aloud the writings I have
And show the world what I can do
That I am worthy of being alive
Worthy of giving back to others
Worth the wait, the anger, the pain
That everyone who's met me has gone through.
I want to write.
Mar 6 · 149
I like
"the red rose liked reading writings
the red rose liked reading writings'

But what do I like?
Mar 5 · 67
Red Nose
My nose is dripping
something wet
it's falling to the ground
plip, plip
I look up at you.
With your
****** fist
and angry scowl
Sadistic eyes
widened with glee
I'm just a little kid
I can't fight back.
I rub the blood off
And stand up
bracing for more
Feb 29 · 112
My Name
It's strange the way I am
My name is always different to others
Ash, Ashlyn, Lyn.
I've been called other names, too.
******, Crazy, Insane, Wreck
Wrong, Right, Girl.
I mean..they're not wrong.
But I have a name you know.
Feb 26 · 104
I am alone
I think
No matter what I do.
I reach out to others
But when the fear isn't there
it all feels fake
I am alone.
When will someone reach for me?
Feb 25 · 182
The Prejudice of Us
Language isn't a barrier if you take the time to learn
Food isn't too bad unless you try it once
And people are all different no matter where you go
I've only been to Japan
And the United States
But just seeing these two
Just hearing about prejudice
makes my stomach curl

I wish we could see more.
Feb 25 · 134
Milk Froth the Calico
I met a cat.
A calico cat.
Sick and dying, barely breathing.
I wanted to help
but was held back.
"Let others take care of it"
That's what we all do right?
Why do we leave the job for someone else?
This world would have less Milk Froths
If we all pitched in to help.
This world would be less miserable if we all cared a little more.
Feb 23 · 88
Who Says?
Who says that I have to be serious
That because I'm depressed
I still can't laugh and joke?
No one.
So yes, I'll laugh
Yes, I'll mess around.

We all deserve a bit of relief, right?

Forget Me.
My best friend is a liar
She sits awake at night to pray
My best friend is insecure
So she taught herself to manipulate

My best friend can be scary
And oh how formally she talks
My best friend may be estranged
But without a doubt she loves me
Feb 23 · 358
Anxiety Attacks
Left Right Wrong
Left Right Wrong
Tap your collar bone
Index and ******* together
Left Right Wrong
Left Right Wrong
He left you because he's a coward
He left you and you don't need him back
Left Right Wrong
Left Right Wrong
No one talks to me anymore
Is it her or him they want?
Left Right-
"Ash, are you okay?"
My cheeks are wet.
Haha, 8th grade ******.
Feb 20 · 144
See the Stars
A girl cries out in the night
A mother rushes to hold her in her arms.
The older sister in the same room stays silent.
She watches her mother coo the little baby to sleep
She waits for her to leave before getting up once more.
She looks out the window, the sky covered in smog.
"I want to see the stars."
She opened the window and climbed to the ledge.
She was six years old.
Sitting there and breathing, the little girl watched the smog
for signs of the little white sparkles
stuck in the sky.
The baby started crying again.
Her mother came to comfort her.
She didn't notice the girl's empty bed
Only the window. She shut it, locked it tight.
The little girl wasn't scared.
She brought herself standing and looked down below.
"Bye Mom!"
The window flew open too late.
Feb 20 · 118
What I Want
I want to be an author
To tell everyone about my world
The one that saved me
So it can save others too.
I want to be a psychologist.
So I can help those in need
to show them that loneliness
is everywhere
and won't go away unless you let it.
And I want to be there
I want a family.
I just want one.
No one but me.
I am the only one
who will do
what I need to do
I want this.
I wrote my career goals because I'm still 'a child' as people have told me. They say 'don't carry the weight of the world, you're so young'. But I don't carry the weight, I just wanna help other people carry their own...
Feb 19 · 123
Our Fault
To what extent have we followed the dreams of mortal men? Conjuring the images of glass and metal, bending it to our will.
All the while destroying the world of plants and wood.
And yet-
These religions tell us that the End will be brought by deities and demons. It seems as if to say we are the demons, as when the world of green dies, so will we as punishment for mass consuming and wasteful manners.
So we will die

But it's too late to stop now, it's already the middle of the ending.
My Biology teacher brought up a good point a few months ago that has stayed with me for a while.
Feb 15 · 280
Stuck Here Now
Where is it?
My head
it seems to have fallen off
I feel dizzy
what am I to do
Standing in the dark
gasping for breath
She hates you
She hates you.
You should run away.
But I can't.
That stranger
with the cigarette
saw me.
I can't leave now.
I'm stuck here.
Okay so maybe I'm enjoying this story poem line thing but I swear to you it's not the first story poem series I've done!
Feb 13 · 414
The Static Mind
Red on marble
Spattered floor
Brains like static
Begging for more
You're insane
You're insane
The blood gushes darker
You can't turn back time
What's done is done
A scar to hide
For the rest of my life
I'm wailing
to cry.
What's this? A backstory of the scar from the girl in Staring Stranger? Is there going to be more? Yes. Yes there will be.
Feb 13 · 124
Give me a letter
Find me a word
tell me something
that  I've never heard

Make me a story
Write me a song
I will always be there
I have been all along

But if you should stop
If you should quiet
I will leave you forever
alone in the silence
This is called narcissism.
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