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Randy Johnson Sep 25
A man's birthday only comes around once a year.
You wanted revenge because I drank your last beer.
You decided to get even by ruining my birthday.
You got even by giving me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.

You know that I hate the new Doctor Who, I think it's a piece of crap.
Now you've started crying like a two year old because I gave you a slap.
I loathe the new Doctor Who TV Show and I let everybody know about it.
You bought me a piece of crap for my birthday and it's making me throw a fit.

Even though I apologized for drinking your last beer, you decided to make me pay.
You had an evil grin on your face as you handed me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.
Everybody had to cover their ears because I said a lot of cuss words.
I burned your present because I would've rather been given a ****.
Randy Johnson Jul 29
A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than five seconds for him to choose what to do.
He chose to become an **** green ogre even though it will be for the remainder of his days.
He chose to be an ogre because the new Doctor Who TV show isn't something he'll ever praise.
He became an ogre two years ago and this morning I learned that he doesn't regret it.
He doesn't regret his choice even though he's so **** that he makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
When he was given the choices, he was expected to praise the new Doctor Who.
He has always loved the original Doctor Who TV show but he sure does hate the new.
Randy Johnson Jul 18
She was very young when she was shot and killed by Robert John Bardo.
She starred in 'One Life To Live' and 'My Sister Sam' over 30 years ago.
Bardo had stalked Rebecca for three years and tragically ended her life with his gun.
Fans were forced to say goodbye to this great actress who died at the age of twenty-one.
Randy Johnson Jul 12
The new Doctor Who TV show is a true masterpiece, a masterpiece of ****.
I have a son who was naughty and needed to be punished so I made him watch it.
He cried and cried, it has scarred him for life because it was too much for him to handle.
He said he'd never be naughty again if I would have enough pity to change the channel.
My son committed over 100 crimes but he always got off scot-free because of lack of evidence.
But he kept his side of the bargain, I changed the channel and he's been as good as gold ever since.
Unfortunately, I've received a lot of criticism from other parents who say I went too far.
One mother said that forcing him to watch the new Doctor Who was more cruel than cutting the brake lines on a person's car.
When I made him watch that *******, perhaps I was going too far, some say that I really blew it.
But if you have a problem child who needs to be taught the error of his ways, forcing him to watch the new Doctor Who will do it.
Aa Harvey Jul 5

What is that Dude?  That’s the TV Son.
What does it do?  Oh it lots of fun!
There are these bees, you see, they act and stuff.
It really is quite good!  Shall we have a look?

Ok, I guess.  Humble didn’t know what to expect
And as BeeTV came to life, there were little bees inside.
Humble was surprised and ran to the screen.
He tried to reach inside, but nothing was happening.
There was something in the way, but he could not see.
Dude said they are not in there Humble,
They are far away bees.
They are in the studio in another part of the Hive;
They send pictures through waves, the collective Hive Mind
And the pictures appear; come sit over here.
We can watch them together…
And they did for many years.

As Humble grew up to become the bee he became,
There was always a place for BeeTV in his heart
And every bee in the hive felt the same.
In every home throughout the hive, BeeTV was available day and night And as people went about living their lives,
BeeTV always remained a part of their life.

(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Shakespeare's ghost!
Writing from the grave!
Trading the host!
Useful zombie slave!

Channel his ghost through a record player.
The sound of his song gets stuck in my head.
I hum the melody and it catches ear,
The sickness spreads like a trend.

Stupid people copy smart people
To make themselves feel smarter.
Smart people use stupid people,
To make themselves seem smarter.

Minds like channels on the television,
Eyes like ceiling fans collison.
A house with no walls!
A burgler can just walk right in!
Penmann Jun 8
Smile your Marie Kondo smile on me-
Just smile and pretend it can be done
She is a tank against common sense. Invasion of clear mind.
I never tidy up, my life's a mess.
Marie Kondo though makes me feel even less.
Completely disarmed my will to feel.
Randy Johnson May 20
My fourteen year old daughter was the star of a children's TV show.
But because she grew large *******, they decided to let her go.
They said that because of her growth spurt, it would be inappropriate for her to be on a children's show.
They said they were sure that I would understand but I was furious and I said "Hell no".
I said that it was discrimination and it was an immoral reason for firing my teenage daughter.
She was more than willing to sue because of the morals that my wife and I have taught her.
It was wrong to fire her because of mother nature 's handiwork and the judge agreed.
My daughter was awarded ten million dollars, that was what the judge decreed.
We didn't sue because of the money, we sued to stand up to their discrimination.
When I say that they didn't get away with what they did, it's not an exaggeration.
******* money,
And ******* property.
I don’t need you to be happy.

All that I need is food and water,
A space to live,
And people to love.
I don’t need this property!
I don’t need your permission to be happy!

I don’t own you,
You own me.
I am your property.

I don’t drive my car,
My car drives me.
I don’t sit on my couch,
My couch sits on me.
I don’t watch the tv,
The tv watches me!

We are not the consumers,
We are the products.
They own us.

I have have had it with all this *******,
I am practically drowning in all of it!
All I hear,
All I smell,
All I taste,
All I touch,
All I see, on the tv, is a product,
Tempting me to buy my own slavery!

Buy your slavery!
Be my property!
This will make you happy!
Then die!
Terms and conditions may apply!
Mike Mar 19
where do we go when the lights cut
and the music stops?
i don't bother with the insects in the walls
i don't read the news or watch cable television
who's on the other side? i ask
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