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There's a phone in the corner of my bag
Where I tell the people I love I need out
I called the other Them to help me
The people my mother was always running from

The people who would finally take me away
your brain, darling. what happened to it?
I remember when we once were fine.
but blood has left your body, boy.
you've got a broken heart and ****** up mind.
but why? what made your thoughts blank out?
and what caused each emotion to disappear?
was it mommy? you can tell me.
after all, she's not even here.
she left you, boy. she's not returning.
I know it hurts. but it's certainly true.
was it addiction? or was it her freedom?
what trapped her more? her problems, or you?
onto all of this, did you ever try?
you wake up to sadness, that's all that you give.
im so ******* sorry that everyone leaves you,
but it's no shock when you act like a kid.
moral of the story? don't ******* be you.
I hate how you act, I hate when you breathe.
just go ******* cry and tell yourself that you're nothing,
until that's all your ******* heart can perceive.
im so sorry for how depressing this is. recently my mom has... left lol. ive been moved from my home, to live with my dad, who's great although I haven't been around him much in my life. my mom has issues. she's not a good mom. im honestly scared of her, and she's made me feel like **** for years. she's recently told me in a text "boo ******* hoo" so that's why I chose that title. im not looking for pity or apologies, or attention. im just venting and giving an explanation for this poem.
all feedback is welcomed and appreciated
Matthew A Cain May 2016
As I recall I was five the first time I met the monster in disguise
He threw my brother's plate to the ground
He told him to eat off the floor like the dog that he was
Then kicked him while he was down
He laughed and he laughed at the spectacle taking place
And I cried and I cried for my brother’s sake

The very next morning I stared up at him from his lap
I was trying to see if it was the man or a mask

A few months later I had my answer as the man was hitting home runs
On my brother’s flesh and bones
He smiled like a jester as my brother was ******* his pants
We rode in silence to Sunday school
And I saw it happen clear as day when the monster slipped on the mask of my father
The one I knew and loved

A couple years later and a thousand more tears
My mother wept as she answered the call
The monster had drawn the last straw
As he took my brothers innocence during the night in that hotel room

Then they came like angels and whisked us away
The men dressed in suites with badges of authority
We were safe for the first time

As I look back I still miss the mask but not the man
I decided to write this poem after some deliberation and thoughts about my childhood and I hoped that if anyone is in this situation that they will understand that sometimes its okay to love someone that has hurt you as often the person is not evil all the way through but ultimately its better if they are not in your life. This was the case with my father and I still love him but I recognize that the mask that I loved was more of my own imagination instead of the actual man that he was.

— The End —