I fell off and got up.
I ran away and found more junk.
Nothing's ever fixed and corrected because there's always more problems than what you expected.
But will you understand?
Will you cope?
Or will the chains of past have the last laugh when you made a promise to say no more?

Can these patterns continue or will there be a change?
It seems to me you have an understanding,  yet you act so deranged and estranged.
It's worse than our lockdown,
Yet that gave me more answers then than now.
It's like finding the rhyme to orange and then more and more words begin to pour and overflow, overload, self implode
Then no more...

There's an understanding to our problems and it's like a conspiracy,
We fear it in theory but really is it worth believing?
It's not complex as you think,
But it's not as easy as turning off the sink.
We find ourselves fighting more with our thoughts than the ******* government on what we can and what we cannot.

Understandings cannot be prevented, so fly with it and seek more truth. Otherwise you'll be nothing more than a buffoon. And that's on you...

They say self care is a main
To prevent you from becoming insane.
So let me lie back and figure it out.

Might take a smoke to or two,
Just to help the view.
Let's dive in deep and think of the sneak leek we seek like in a Disney channel movie.
There's a party and we're down barely floor one.
Let's check it out.

These Sirens are blaring yet we all dance along.
It's something they're all used to dancing around.
Call it my song or call it my calling,
It's a ******* Siren Party.

Where or where have you gone?
It's been 3 months long enough.
It's time to be more than alone.
I'm not alone I got and him and I.
We party like nothing's gonna change.
Grab a cup, kick back, have a drink of the extinct.

There's so much banging at the door yet I dont bother to answer.
It's a party in here where nothing ever changes.
Not even the moves we make or the things we faced.
We're just more laced.

These Sirens are blaring yet we all dance along.
It's somethings they're all used to dancing around.
Call it my song or call it my calling,
It's a ******* Siren Party.

I wish I can just walk on air
With flare, truly unaware, as they stare
Just one moment to declare, confirm your welfare
To stand in power pose as an extraordinaire

you'll call me princess
thinking I am lost.

I will try so hard
not to flatter you but oh
how I'll flatter you
gushing at your many dimensions


i'll try to stand back
when im in awe of you.
when im most in love with you,
thats when you'll see me least

i'll be avoiding you
and ill wonder
why i never see you


i'll tell myself that
i never see you
and its because you know
you're hiding, you hate me.

I won't think too deeply
about it, won't think
but when I have questions,
that'll give me what I find

what I find
in my mind
I try and I find

peace and respite
in my mind


you grow a few years in a week
Have I grown none? When
you're beautiful patronizing me
calling me "***".

is life just a cycle of looking down at your feet and realizing that you really need to clip your toenails, but deciding that you’ll do it later because you can’t be bothered in that moment, and then 6 days pass, and you still haven’t clipped your toenails. and then after 2 weeks, you finally pick up the nail clipper and do what you said you would 14 days ago. a moment of relief. and then you go upstairs and look at your laundry pile and decide you’ll tackle that later.

sometimes self care is
polysporin and bandages
tending to the wounds
of your own self destruction