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Danial John Mar 2018
1
When I drink, I wax poetic.
On to the next thought before I forget it.
Not me, it was you who said it.
Twist my words... make them hurt
Danial John Jul 2018
Wanted to forget
You wouldn't let me

Got it for this
No matter how you test me

Am I coming or going?
Are you pushing or pulling?

Hours spent not knowing
This or that, please, just commit fully
Danial John Jul 2018
My friend burns slow
I put her to my lips and draw
then exhale smoke
The tar stains my teeth and lungs.
I enjoy her presence because she makes me feel young.
Danial John Feb 2018
I am happy.
No, really, I am.
How can one not be when life is so full of beautiful distractions?
The plants and flowers.
The trees and bushes.
The people with their smiles.
Its all just so magical.
Joy creeps through my veins.
My face is flush with ecstasy.
I can truly take in the worlds many lovely little things
when my lungs are full of love.
Who doesn't enjoy the mind-numbing radiance that seems to exude from life?

Now...
if only it could last.

Unfortunately it can't.

So now what must be done
is scrounge enough cash for another sack.



D.A.R.E

Drugs Are Really Expensive

They'll cost you your happiness, sanity, security, family, friends,
and most importantly...
Your money.
Doesn't rhyme
Danial John Feb 2018
Oh man, I can't stop seeing bad omens.
Flowing, from the empty spaces... pouring.
The blood in my ears is roaring.
I must make clear these notions.

The world whispers and murmurs.
I must be put on earth for a purpose.
Blessing and curses.
Still, I feel worthless.

I listen with the ear of my heart.
See with the eyes of my soul.
Getting closer, yet falling apart.
Will not stop until I achieve my goal.

Yet still I listen, transition and complete my mission.
Fate leads me into the ultimate competition.
Wrists twisted, wits missing, the clock ticking.
You must understand that if I don't try I'll never know what I'm missing.

And for the 5th quatrain, I plead the 5th.
My thoughts cannot be shared directly.
Read the omens with me and see pain's lithe.
Please bear with, I hope you don't wish you'd never met me.
Is all around you, just look and listen.
Danial John Nov 2018
Sometimes the pain
Masquerading as passing faith
Does nothing but leave a stain
And a permanent frown on your face

And sometimes the hurt
Under the surface where it lurks
Should be given wide berth
Because addressing it will only make things worse

Sometimes the hate
Waiting to reach the boiling point of rage
Puts you beside yourself into another state
A place where every choice is a mistake

But sometimes the love
Oddly sanctimonious in everything it does
Slithers through the detritus and picks you up
Makes you realise the cycle's not over but only just begun
And then we do it again...
Danial John Aug 2018
I stand stunned, reminiscing all too recent events, at their very location, just to see how it felt...



After the wreck, I looked back... just for a moment. I couldn't help myself.
I saw what it was... And it was you, but  yet someone else.

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.
I guess it's true what they say, "you never truly step in the same stream twice."



I walk away with a smile and think, "oh, how nice!"
In hindsight, the grass actually was greener on the other side.
Danial John Aug 2018
Please just hate me.
At least then I could move on.
Being stuck in between worlds...
Feels so wrong.

What am I saying?
You don't even read this **** anymore.
Yet you got me into it, mi amor.
Hey, Baby, ante up and slay me.

I know, I put a lot of pressure on you.
But you should know the truth.
It's only because YOU made me insane for you.
And THAT'S the truth.

But... Whatever. Nobody gives a ****.
Least of all you.
That much
I'm sure of.

I'm just waiting for the day.
OD.
Slip away.
Set my soul free.

No more problems
No more worries
No more love
No more pain

Sometimes I wish I hadn't known you in the first place.
I'm so selfish I guess...
Danial John Feb 2018
I will be available
On the day of the event
If you are interested in this opportunity
Please contact me

You'll find her in a moment
I really want to be involved with her
I'm not going to be able and I don't want to
Do anything for her anymore

Seth is not a human
But if you ask me about this
I think I should have asked you
In my mind and the fact that I am not going back
I wrote this using only auto predict on my phone
Danial John Mar 2018
In a land of 10000 poems I roam
Wondering if I'll ever find my way home.
I'm all alone.
Does anybody hear me?

Empathy pierces the fog... Nearly.
My visions are unclear... Clearly.
I pull monsters from within, searing.
I attempt to cauterize old wounds.

Also new.
They oft set my world askew.
Don't know what to do.
Will you help?

Writing ciphers in digitized pen, not felt.
Every word a wound, I stopped for my health.
Twisted and turned around, is this hell?
I must find a way...


A way away from myself.
No excaping who you are. At least not for long.
Danial John Feb 2018
The Luna moth is “born” without a mouth.
Because of this, the moth lives only one week.
It’s sole purpose is to find a mate and reproduce.
Now, some see this as a beautiful love story.
A heroic, single minded search for “the one.”
Yet, couldn’t it more accurately be described as a frantic race against death fought by a starving creature unable to vocalize, to speak, or to eat only to fulfill some poorly understood animalistic urge?
Where is the beauty in that?
Is it still there?
... yes...
Truly this insignificant creature can then be a representation of the live of countless lost souls who cannot seem to speak or nourish themselves.
For aren’t all souls, in some way, malnourished mutes?
Simply wishing to connect,
To share,
To be whole.
And, just as with souls, do all Luna moths succeed in their mission?
No.
But the beauty is not in success, it’s in the often futile fight against insurmountable odds,
Fatally flawed design,
And the grim reaper itself... time.
So take flight and soar.
Continue the futile battle.
Make greatness out of the struggle.
And maybe, just possibly
With enough persistence,
Skill,
And luck
You could be one of the few that reach their goals.
However, chances are you are like me...
One of the countless souls that failed.
Continue we shall, for if we don’t, our lives are utterly meaningless.
For even if we never reach the summit, we still try.
We become inspiration for the others, some of which succeed.
So in a very real way, we can achieve some level of glory through them.
We are the foundation.
The ground on which the broad shouldered giants stand.
The ground that nourishes the the flora which feeds the grubs whom become Luna moths.
Who will take our place and ... occasionally...
succeed.
Happier than I seem
Danial John Mar 2018
Listen to my words
Feel my hurt
Create your own
Sooth your soul
Write
Danial John Feb 2018
I’m alright
I see the light
I know to darkness
Nothing new here, ive always been heartless

Don’t worry about me
I enjoy the dirt and filth that surrounds me
Don’t be so vain
It’s mine, not your pain

It’s not time to leave yet
I don’t think you see it
I have things to do
I’m quite used to feeling blue

You’re just the newest think to cross my mind
If not you then another I’d find
Sit and write
Spill my mind because I cannot cry

I mean no harm
Just expressing myself
I’ve been here before, and will be again before long
The only help is my help

Thanks for caring
That’s all I need
There’s nothing you did or can do
So just let me bleed
Really, this is catharsis. If anything it’s benific to me. It could have been anyone, just so happened it was you this time. My thoughts have always been this dark. If it hurts you, then don’t read my ****. Still, I apologize
Danial John Feb 2018
Hear here,
They're there,
Now now.
Let me help calm you down.
Danial John Jun 2018
You                                                          Me
You                                                        Me
  You                                                      Me
   You                                                    Me
    You                                                  Me
     You                                                Me
      You                                              Me
        You                                          Me
          You                                      Me
            You                                  Me
              You                              Me
                You                          Me
                  You                      Me
                     You                Me
                        You          Me
                           You    Me
                              You
                           Me You
                        Me       You
                     Me              You
                  Me        Us        You
                     Me               You
                        Me         You
                           Me   You
                              Me
                          You Me
                       You       Me
                    You             Me
                 You                   Me
              You                         Me
            You                             Me
          You                                 Me
        You                                     Me
      You                                         Me
     You                                           Me
    You                                             Me
   You                                               Me
  You                                                 Me
You                                                   Me
You                   Goodbye                  Me
Formats not perfect, but then again neither is life...
Danial John Jul 2018
**** or be killed
                  Killer be killed

         For they pray
                           For their prey
                                    For they're prey
Danial John Apr 2018
I am severely depressed.
Every day is a struggle just to get out of bed.
They tell me: don't worry, just take your meds.
And yet...

I don't mind the cold,
It seeps into me, down to my bones.
The chill in my soul forms icicles in my nose,
They drip down my throat.

A pancaked atlas.
The weight of the world condensed, flattened.
A singularity of sadness.
Unsure of how or why this happened.

My only misgiving is that
Something important to me has gone missing.
Man's purpose, what makes him divinely great
Unfortunately, I've lost my ability to create.
I can no longer visualize my will into being. ******* depression. Why must I be obsessed with the numb pain you bring.
Danial John Feb 2018
I write these poems
One go, no editing.
They express how I feel.
I know no better way.
If they come off as aggressive or abrasive,
Confused and evasive,
Inconsistent,
Too real yet nonexistent
That’s only because it’s who I am,
How I am.
I’m only throwing a fit.
It’s only how I feel.
Danial John Mar 2018
A slow rumbling
   Deep down

         F
           A
              L
                 L
                    I
                      N
                         G

Tumultuous tumbling
   Head first into the abyss.
From happy to sad and back again
Danial John Jul 2018
I shared my dream with you
It wasn't easy for me
Then you gave up
Told me you had to get real

It was a mistake trusting you
Thought I could share my dream
But for you it wasn't enough
How do you think that makes me feel

I don't give a **** what you do
I must have a disease
I thought if we shared our love
It might help me heal
I can't belive you...
Danial John Feb 2018
I'll be fine, as long as I have my wine.

Keep the taps flowing.

Otherwise I'll be forced to find something more potent.

I don't care, question whether to liver die
Danial John Jul 2018
I'm a puppet
A marionette
A toy tossed
Easy to forget

I'm a foolish kid
An imbecile
With half his wits
Easy to dismiss

I'm a love sick dog
A sitting duck
Stuck in mud
Easy target to hit

I'm a human being
With real ****** feelings
Who's had enough
Easy to love
Just who do you think I am?
Danial John Feb 2018
Bone marrow
Life’s path
Too narrow
Hidden wrath, because I’m a scarecrow
All I want is a heart
Danial John Feb 2018
It's time
I'm ready to die
I've figured it all out
I'm ready to end it now
I don't want your pity
Danial John Feb 2018
Coffee, cigarettes, beer, ****
Molly, Xanax, coke, speed
Mushrooms and LSD

These thing keep me happy
Danial John May 2018
Evil in a needle
Evil in a pipe
Evil in the veins of people
Evil that gets you right
Danial John Jul 2018
Just **** me already.
Love is pain.
Me and you could be plenty.
Please help me feel sane.

I want to be with you forever.
Need your shining embrace.
You make everything better.
Around you I feel safe.
Danial John Apr 2018
The power that possesses,
The young and restless,
Ahead,
To both death marches and weddings.
Did you question the message you were fed?
You should just seek warm bedding...
I guess.
So,
Is it the beginning of the ending?
Or just the end of the beginning?
Rotting,
From the inside,
Is youth's defining essence.
Can you smell the corpses rotting? A cubicle a coffin. There are few things that can keep a shell like me walking. Do you understand me when I'm talking?
Danial John Jul 2018
A friend
An end
Over extend
Do it over again

Chances
More than glances
Is it magic
Mental dances

Dirt
The hurt
More than you deserve
Such a flirt

My love
You're a drug
Enough
Squash me like a bug

Sight
No longer in flight
Future bright
I'd make it right

Ruin
Too soon
Not human
What am I doing

Please trust
Things rust
The deepest cut
Wouldn't stop my love
So many chances waisted
Danial John Jul 2018
Fire flies undulating in rhythm with staccato lightning flashes.
Campfires that have smoldered down into cinders and ashes.
Scintillating swaths of planets and stars that illuminate the night sky.
In my moment of time these sights and more have brought you to mind.
When ya got feels, ya got feels.
Danial John Mar 2018
Here I lay
Thoughts lost in chronic haze
Here I sit
Drowning in my drink

If you won’t **** me, I will
Apparently unstable
Here, take another pill
I keep walking until I’m unable
This is my life now
Danial John Mar 2018
So what if I love you?
Do you care?
I don’t.
If you don’t try, I won’t.

I’ve tried to the best of my abilities.
To me this is a mystery.
Why do you hurt so much?
I’m in constant misery.

It’s not your fault.
Please just tell me why.
Poking and prodding,
Until they die.
...
Danial John Mar 2018
Dear god,

Can you hear me?
And if you can, do you take me seriously?
Why do you allow the world to be
Full of hate, war, and disease?

Why do the good die young?
Is this a joke?
Are you having fun?
Hello?

Is anyone there?
Am I all alone?
You just watch and stare
From your lofty throne.
Danial John Aug 2018
You made me belive in things unseen, like God and fate.
You also filled me with nothing but disgusting, rotten hate.

I now know there IS a higher power.
And I hope some day it is destroyed, dismembered, and devoured
Danial John Feb 2018
Every weekend, I sow the seeds
And then reap my harvest.
Until death I’ll try my hardest.
The devil should be scared when we meet.
Danial John Mar 2018
A ghost
An apparition
How can you ****
What never existed?
Danial John Feb 2018
Said it before
Say it again

Don’t let me led you astray

Sad never more
Pain leaving

Won’t see you if that’s what you say

If that’s how you feel
If it’s what you truly want
I’ll leave you alone with zeal
I will stay long gone
Danial John Jul 2018
You say you love me
But I'm sure I love you more
You sleep in your bed
And I sleep on the floor

I share my dreams and heart
They're all I have to offer
It seems you enjoy tearing them apart
And making me feel awful

I know you don't mean to
I can see it in your eyes
But nothing you say or do
Could make me forget your lies

Do you remember the night
When you showed my your scars
I told you they made me sad
I wish I could take our sorrow and cast it to the stars

Then you and I could live in a heaven on earth.
I've given you everything I have. Please give me a chance.
Danial John Mar 2018
Bare unto me thy demons,
Thy trials and tribulations,
Thy pities and sarrow,
Thy fears,
Thy issues,
Thy problems,
Thy confusions,
Thy anxieties,
All shall be exercised.

Exalt with me thy dreams and aspirations,
Thy goals,
Thy joys,
Thy ecstasy,
Thy enthusiasm,
Thy truths and certainties,
Thy love and compassion,
Thy radiance,
All shall be glorified.

Thou art worthy of this and more.

I beseech thee,
Allow trust to be thy emperor,
Empathy thy empress.

Share with me... fully and unabashedly.
I am here. Always will be.
Danial John Feb 2018
Thought I could stop writing this poetry.
Guess I was wrong, it helps open me
Up to my feelings, and new ways of seeing.
Different ways of being.

It’s a great escape,
From reality’s terrible wake.
Allows me to contemplate
Just how I feel and what’s important and real.
Not done I guess
Danial John Aug 2018
I'm sorry...
I've been on one.
But just because I love you,
Doesn't make me awful.

One thing I've been,
Is hella thoughtful.
Pushing and pulling WAY too hard...
It's only cuz I want you.

No...
I need you.
At least if imma be complete.
I'm in desperate need of a redo I think.

I read you... And you me.
We run on a pair of graphic stories.
And the summation is:
Water circling down the kitchen sink.

Enough playing.
Are you willing or no?
Cuz I'm about ready to go.
Sooooo...

Do you wanna take a chance and let this whole thing unfold?
I could talk myself in circles... No... Spirals for hours if I let myself. I just wish I could talk with you, like we used to. I miss you.
Danial John Feb 2018
When I was young

I sold my soul to the devil.

I asked to become an Atlas.

Now I wait...         wondering
Did the clandestine transaction work?
Or has all my suffering been in vain?
Have I managed to reduce the pain?
Should I have repent first?
I was filled with hate... blundering

and filled with passion.

Now in sorrow I must revel

Left to question what I have done.
Hindsight is always 20/20
Danial John Jul 2018
Subject myself to the topic
Masochism and apathy
Misanthropic logic
I'm past living, beyond being happy

Houses smell like carrion
Clothes feel like rags
Waist no time caring
Only my soul needs a bath

Everyone gather around as I bend over
So you can
Kiss
My
***
It
Danial John Aug 2018
It feels like...
We haven't seen each other in a week,
Spoken in a month,
Shared a smile in a year.

It feels like...
I've been going with no sleep, running on E,
Lost without your love,
Only guided by the fear.

It feels like...
I miss what it used to be,
I could never have enough,
Just wanna see you smile from ear to ear.

It feels like...
A mystery,
Love,
Joy and cheer.
Danial John Nov 2018
...
...
...
And she didn't even say hi.

...
...
...
I couldn't seem to say goodbye.

...
...
...
I met another for the night.

...
...
...
Still can't seem to get you out of my mind.
Danial John May 2018
They say the heart grows fonder with distance
And I guess it's true
Because whenever you're gone I feel black and blue
But the distance can be so much more
I can see you across the room
Yet so far away
I want to be with you every single day.
I'm sorry for my fantasies
Maybe that's all they are
But I felt a connection,
Thought you did too
I don't remember writing this. That's weird right? Also, I have no clue what the f**k Judoschool means.
Danial John Mar 2018
Why do I feel so uninspired?
High flyer
Tight rope walker
Wired

Why do I feel so insipid?
Fix it
Otherwise listless
Just a sniff

Why do I feel so bored?
Fast forward
Here we go
Oh lord

Why do I feel so insane?
In my brain
What's that feeling
It's not pain

Why do I feel so numb?
Going dumb
Asking if
Love is a drug
Danial John Mar 2018
Just so you don't misconstrue
I still care deeply about you
It's just self preservation that makes me push away
Still, we can be cordial, I'll be there on that day

The day when you decide to put the demons at bay.
You can keep ******* around til then.
However, be warned, if you don't try then they'll always win.
I hope to see you again, the real you, someday.
Danial John Mar 2018
Frequently
Sequencing
Frequencies
Pleases me
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