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543 · Dec 2018
I Ignore You
Haylin Dec 2018
I ignore you because I'm sick of your foul words.
Yes, I'm aware of your intentions to hurt.
And everytime you walk by,
I turn away and act as if I were blind.
But I only do this because you hurt me so badly inside.
542 · Jun 2018
I'll Never Forget
Haylin Jun 2018
4/3/18 - Started dating my boyfriend
2/5/09 - The day I lost my best friend (Grandpa)
9/16/17 - The day my dad and step mom got married
7/16/18 @ 3:35pm - The day I might lose my other best friend
535 · Nov 2018
3am
Haylin Nov 2018
3am
They say if you’re awake at 3am, you’re either inlove or broken.
I say it’s neither.
Perhaps it is the silent space between feeling too much and feeling nothing at all.
The indiscernible sentiments of someone who has been long lost and is yet to be found.
A soul that is neither gleeful nor wretched;
And instead waiting to feel, pondering on certain circumstances,
Or probably continually yearning for a type of serenity that time could still not dare to give.
533 · Oct 2018
Father
Haylin Oct 2018
My father's voice was like a bomb
when he was clothed in anger
His words were driven by stress and pain
and he loved that pain like no other

In the wake of his wrath
grew flowers of sorrow
I felt my innocence die
and my maturity grow

I am my father's daughter
and I carry this fear
That I'll be a bomb like him
in the upcoming years
530 · Aug 2018
#hashtag
Haylin Aug 2018
Hashtag my soul away, so many can see it
I’m waving my hands saying hey look at me
Posting pics, statuses and videos
Can’t do it quietly
I want them all to See
Envy me and make me their fantasy
A few likes on this post is not enough
I deserve to get liked like I’m roylaty
adore me while you stare at the pictures
I spent hours cropping, adding more filters to guard my insecurities
Before I hashtag it, I dress it with perfection
Cut out any ugliness, clean up the mess
Show the world purity
because if they see the negative
their words will expose my insecurities
Behind this screen I found a secured me
That is the side I only want them to see
So I hashtag popular tags so they can all see
The better side of me
523 · May 2018
"I'm Just a Kid"
Haylin May 2018
with that said,
let's **** **** up
You want us to lose our minds
because we're just kids
Us kids
have a story
a story beyond Slenderman and Batman.
We live
we breathe
we abide by society,
but no one expects us
to fight back
I'm a 15 year old kid,
but I hold much more than *silence
520 · Aug 2018
Popularity
Haylin Aug 2018
A teenagers dream. Something few deserve, something most don't get. The word that you think can change your image, looks, and life.

And then you graduate,
and then you realize,
popularity,
is just a title
and means nothing,
In the real world
.
515 · Dec 2018
Somewhere 6w
Haylin Dec 2018
Somewhere along the way,

We changed
509 · Mar 2018
I don't care anymore
Haylin Mar 2018
I don't really care anymore
I wanna get out of this place

This world failed
And if you haven't noticed
If you can't tell
I don't really give a **** anymore

I've given up on people
Given up on humanity

So I don't really care anymore
Do you wanna settle the score
Tax all the poor
Lie upon the floor
Knock on Heaven's door
Because I really don't give a **** anymore

So I woke up yesterday
With nothing to say
Maybe I'm to blame
The reason things are going this way
Maybe the world's spinning
A little too fast

The race is beginning
So run or be last
The sky is turning red
The grass blue
My world's gone crazy
How are you?

So I don't have a care anymore

I'm done with my chores
And giving money to the stores
And fighting those **** wars
Because frankly
I don't give a **** anymore

So you're reading all those fairy tales
About the dragons with the silver scales
And the horses with silk tails
And the angry white whales
Well it's time to wake up
To reality
I wanna break it to ya
But that's just me
Because you're too scared to see
And too ignorant to believe
That life isn't fantasy
But then again
I don't really care anymore

It burns me to the core
That you're such a filthy *****
Who hurts the weak
And steals from poor
But I guess it's just because
I don't really give a **** anymore

I don't know what to do
I can't think straight
What's false, what's true
Can't forget how to hate

So do you run from all your fears
Are too scared to fight
Can you see through your tears
Into hellish night
So listen to me honey
Life is rough
It won't just rain money
So you gotta get tough
Gotta fight for rights
And for your cause
Because when out goes the lights
Life doesn't have a pause
I don't really care anymore

I guess I was hoping for a little bit more
Because life is one hell of a bore
So tell me, love
What are you fighting for
Things are ending just like before
But this time
I don't care anymore
509 · Apr 2018
DISAPPOINTMENT
Haylin Apr 2018
During every stage of life
I am a failure
Stupid,stuttering child
Always messing up
Probably never going to succeed
Pointless to try anymore
Over life as it is
In a dark place
Never anybody's first choice
Totally incompetent
Miserable
Exiting stage left
Nobody cares
Time to quit.
Haylin May 2018
People that don't self harm
Don't seem to understand it.
But I don't expect them to.

First, it hurts, A LOT.
It hurts when you first do it
And it hurts the next day.
It hurts when your long sleeves rub against it
And it hurts when you look at what you did.

Next, cuts bleed, A LOT.
At first they don't bleed,
You start cutting deeper,
Then they bleed, a lot.
It doesn't stop bleeding.

Please don't tell me to just stop.
I can't just stop.
It's so addicting.
Even though I want to stop,
I can't.

It starts out as you control it,
But then it ends up controlling you.
You want to wear short sleeves?
Think again, you can't.
You want to go swimming with friends?
Oh yeah, they'll probably think you're crazy.

Every time you do it one more time,
It becomes more and more addicting.
Just one more you think, but no.
This is the last time, but it's not.
You can't just stop.

I don't mean to hurt the people around me.
In that moment, all I can think about is
Hurting myself.
I'm sorry for hurting everyone else
While I'm hurting myself.
501 · Feb 2019
Just Think About It
Haylin Feb 2019
"...The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work."
~ 1 John 3:8

"...people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment..."
~ Hebrews 9:27

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
~ Romans 5:8

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness,
but will have the light of life.'"
~ John 8:12
You don't have to be a believer to understand.
499 · Dec 2018
Sometimes I wish I...
Haylin Dec 2018
Sometimes I wish I were invisible
Sometimes I wish I I didn’t care
Sometimes I wish I was stronger
Sometimes I wish I you were still here
Sometimes I wish I was younger
Sometimes I wish I was older
Sometimes I wish I was skinnier
Sometimes I wish I was prettier
Sometimes I wish I was taller
Sometimes I wish I was shorter
Sometimes I wish I better
Sometimes I wish I had confidence
Sometimes I wish I knew myself
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time
Sometimes I wish I speak up
Sometimes I wish I met you sooner
Sometimes I wish I loved you more
Sometimes I wish I had more time...

Sometimes I wish I....
493 · May 2018
"Slut"
Haylin May 2018
If I'm a ****,
it's because I let society
**** me on the daily.
491 · Sep 2018
Save Me
Haylin Sep 2018
Who’s going to save me
When I’m saving everyone else?
Who’s going to save me
When I cry myself to sleep at night?
Who’s going to save me
When I have a blade to my wrist?
Who’s going to save me
When the voices are screaming in my head?
The answer is nobody
While I’m out saving others,
Nobody is helping me.
I’m drowning
In the dark thoughts
Full of despair and darkness.
And with no one to help me,
I might as well succumb
To Death's sweet song.
490 · Apr 2019
Lost Friend
Haylin Apr 2019
The worst part of losing someone is feeling them slip away.

Knowing that they would rather be doing anything else, than be with you.

Knowing that you're nothing but a weight, holding them back.
Knowing that you aren't enough.

But maybe you shouldn't have fooled yourself like that.

When have you ever been?
488 · Aug 2018
Millennial
Haylin Aug 2018
Millennial is what called in this generation,
Everywhere here and there,
There are always youths who really never care,
And never been worried about their future.

In Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Messenger,
Are contents of follower, liker, reader and including seener,
Loitering and using fake accounts just to gain a wholesome money,
Even though that it is notorious, they still embark their blunt journey.

Most millennial are undisputedly addicted to social media,
Their lives depends on likes they are going to gain,
They don't care if their faces might be inside of multi-media,
And they don't even care if it will give them a pain.

Some truly go beyond their limits just to have a lot of likes,
Perhaps they are fame *****, but they don't care if someone strikes,
Strikes every part of their body including their faces and such,
Yet they don't care if it will hurt them too much.

However, seeking attention in the cyber world isn't a good thing,
Instead they should focus on things that are essentially free like a king,
Because in this generation, too many people are unaware and careless,
And some they didn't even noticed that our environment is already full of fraud either hypocrite and genuine people are less.
485 · Apr 2018
Another Love Triangle
Haylin Apr 2018
He used to love you before,
but not anymore.
he replaced you with your best friend,
this proves that you're love has already end.

But don't worry we say,
because you'll find "true" love one day.
maybe in an unusual way,
and you will find a way to make him pay.

Though you still love him,
the future could be dim.
when you were together he starts to forget.
later in life you will make him regret.

you want him back because of your first kiss,
but you should always remember this,
that you must do your part,
so that till death do you both part.
485 · Mar 2018
Guy Bestfriend
Haylin Mar 2018
They say it's impossible to not fall in love with your guy bestfriend. Well I've been friends for 10 years and never fell in love with him.
So you can be friends with out falling in love.
But I don't know what I would do with out him. I never want to lose him. So I thank him.
482 · Nov 2018
40 Seconds
Haylin Nov 2018
Every 40 seconds
someone in the world dies of suicide

Every 41 seconds
someone is left to make sense of it
Haylin May 2018
Roses are red, violets are blue,
They say it's addicting now I know that it's true  
But the roses are wilting the flowers are dead  
My hands are shaking and my hips are lined red
481 · Sep 2018
Bathroom Poetry
Haylin Sep 2018
Here I sit broken-hearted
tried to ****, but only farted
Then one day I took a chance
tried to **** and **** my pants.
Saw it on pinterest
Haylin Apr 2018
Sit on the couch- wandering hands and wanton mouths
Every now and then one of u speaks
I love you
Between kisses
I'm wet
She'll tell U
Tell U like She's saying I love you
U never move past the make out
I'm wet She'll say
U don't know how to think
Only act
Mouths devouring mouths
Bumping teeth won't be a mood killer anymore
I'm wet She won't say it, but it's all U'll hear
U can't breathe as U push Her down onto Her back
Pull Her shirt up and kiss Her stomach
U're wet
I love you but U'll hear I'm wet
Look into Her eyes
Take off Ur shirt
She'll do as She's told
Pop the button on those jeans
Giggle when She has to stand up and hop around to get them off
Don't really know what U're doing
Feather fingers stroking the interior of Her perfect thighs
She'll sigh Ur name
Gently remove that piece of lacy-nothing
Touch Her
She's wet U'll think
Think like U're thinking *She loves me
481 · Jun 2018
I Wonder If She Knows
Haylin Jun 2018
Anna's pov while she is dead

For a long time
I nearly failed
Then inexplicably
I began the long steep climb upward
My last chance
But someone took my place

There were times I stayed
To listen to my mother cry
Then one morning
My mother realized that we had everything

Immediately
I felt like I had a shrine
Jesse, sitting on the couch said,"She would have thought it was funny"
The bitter sore memory that someone has left this world
You are still in it
Then one day you look down and see how much pain


Kate's pov as she's alive

I wonder if
Anna lingered in the spaces between the words
I wonder if she knows
That Daddy fell deep after she left
I wonder if she knows that every time I see two little girls
I think of us
This is a blackout poem from My Sisters Keeper
Both poems are written at the same time but Anna is writing it dead and Kate is alive
476 · Jan 2019
Eyes Changing
Haylin Jan 2019
Green.
Like a field or a forest,
That color I deeply desire.

Blue.
Like the heart of the ocean,
The color I could get lost in forever.

But when you change from green,
To blue,
And back to green,
Then mix them,
It's like heaven.
Like all the stars have combined,
Into two beautiful eyes

Those eyes are yours
And I will drown in them forever
475 · Jun 2019
Silently Screaming
Haylin Jun 2019
At the end of the day, all things end.
When all is said and done, we are merely men.
Nearly men never find their true love.
We are left so close but never touched.
So far from being,
Always only ever seeing and dreaming,
While inside we remain…silently screaming.
472 · Jun 2019
I'm an Addict
Haylin Jun 2019
The world around me is revolving slowly
While the people surrounding move faster & faster
As I am caught in between the fibers of time

Why am I here?
Do I even belong?

My only therapy is the songs I hear in my head
My only medication is the drugs that make me wish I were dead

I'm just a shell of my former self.
I'm not what I used to be.

It seems there's no resolution,
only an empty cell waiting for me in this institution.

Dear diary, please help me now.

There's only so much abuse I can inflict upon myself.

The cuts on my wrist, the empty bottle of pills
The lacerations on my fist, shaking from the anger still.

I've got my fix, each line getting me higher
The only answer getting clearer, as my lows keep climbing to the ladder.

My sanity escaping.
Depression creeping
As the ghost of death takes over me.

Oh diary, it seems it's goodbye to you and me.
It seems no matter what I do, the world isn't going to accept me.

I'll never belong.

I'll always be different.

Goodbye and goodnight.

I'll see you on the other side.

----------------------------

Dear diary, I'm an addict.

Yesterday was proof of concept.

Tomorrow is a death wish.

If I don't do something now,
I may never get to see the light of day.

Dear diary, please help me now.

Because I can't do this alone anymore.
But I'll never say what I'm an addict of.
470 · Jul 2019
Shelter
Haylin Jul 2019
I can’t prevent the rain from falling,
Oh no, I can’t prevent the storm-
But I’ll be here for you when you’re frightened,
And craving shelter from it all.

Even though a drizzle,
Or a mighty hurricane-
I’ll brace the weather wholeheartedly,
If it means that you are safe.

For if the beast that’s brewing,
Is tearing down your forests limb by limb-
And the travesties he’s causing,
Are forcing you to walk with him-
I’ll take your hand so quickly,
And run with you so far away-
So this being can’t get hold of you,
And has to seek out other prey.

See darling your soul is mighty and pure,
Filled with comforts so serene-
And your mind is made up of fortresses,
Stronger than any part of me-
I’ll never give up if it means bringing you home,
To the comforts, you once knew-
The safety of your own body and mind,
Every beautiful part of you.
470 · Aug 2018
11:11 part 2
Haylin Aug 2018
There's a comforting feeling,
seeing that number on my phone,
feeling that panic,
closing my eyes quickly
and making a wish,
that I know won't come true.
469 · Nov 2018
Goodbye
Haylin Nov 2018
I'm all on my own now
Have nothing to lose
The one thing I cared of
Decided to move (on)

I'm sitting here, waiting
For just one last call
But I'm scared of hearing
Please, don't say "Goodbye"
469 · May 2018
One cut, Two Cut...
Haylin May 2018
One cut, two cut, three cut, four
Watch my blood spill on the floor
Five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight
Isn't this life just ******* great
Nine cut, ten
Here we go again

One cut, two cut, three cut, four
Sinking every day a little more
Five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight
Future is up to chance and fate
Nine cut, ten
This ****** up game I'll never win
Haylin Feb 2019
what is a man-made education
getting a job,
not working in your field,
as that degree, hangs dusty on the wall, yet
we passed the class,
we made the grades,
we're smart, yet we keep ******* up...
you know it, I know it,
we all know it.
465 · Jan 2019
Sounds of Silence
Haylin Jan 2019
It's the time to listen to our own heartbeat
To talk to our inner self.
It's the introspective moment that we need,
To survive in this modern over-noisy World.

Silence has a sound which can't be heard from the ears,
But only by the heart
464 · Sep 2020
I'll Never Forget Pt 5
Haylin Sep 2020
2/5/09 - The day I lost my best friend (Grandpa)
7/?/12 - Moved in with dad
12/11/16 - Tried to KMS
9/16/17 - The day my dad and stepmom got married
4/3/18 - Started dating my boyfriend
6/19/18 - The day my dad gave me up and kicked me out
6/23/19 - Day my uncle died. He never gave up on me
10/3/19 - My best friend died(Grandma)
12/9/19 - The day I broke up with my boyfriend

New: 3/13/20 - Moved states
New: 7/21/20- Moved schools
464 · Mar 2018
Creepy Quotes
Haylin Mar 2018
There's a little bit of devil in her angel eyes

I'm a angel, but anger makes me a devil

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns, he come in everything you wished for

333 I'm only half evil

My attitude will always be based on how you treat me

I don't care if I fall in love with a devil, as long a devil loves me the way he loves hell

You must have the devil in you to succeed in any of the arts

Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as a angel, sweet as love

We are the kids our parents warned us about

What is light without dark? Right without left? What is goodness without the choice to be evil?

There's someone in my head but it's not me

Never regret something that once made you smile

Everyone needs someone that can handle your dark side

The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls

Here in the forest, dark and deep. I offer you eternal sleep

If you can't wake up from a nightmare, maybe you're not asleep

If you are reading this, then you blissfully unaware of what is creeping up behind you

She was like the moon; part of her was always hidden away

Death is not scary. It's where we'll go that is

I have already been through hell. So give it your best shot. Not only will I survive. I will win.
I went through a dark phase at one point
463 · Nov 2018
She won't be missed
Haylin Nov 2018
A broken mirror
A bleeding fist
A silver blade against a wrist
Tears falling down to lips unkissed
Ignore her and she won't exist
She's not that kind you'll come to miss
462 · Aug 2018
The Old Landline
Haylin Aug 2018
not so long ago
they made you feel
not so alone

before
the compulsive criteria
of social media

and the claustrophobia
that comes
when you can understand people
but not love them

Now
It sits in a blind corner
like a forgotten foreigner
mentioned in sentences
that start with
"remember back when..."

The lesson of technology is to go with the flow

The lesson of time is in old and fading photos
where you are holding
a landline phone and
pretending to
talk
459 · May 2019
Through a Window
Haylin May 2019
All along
I’ve been looking through
The stained, the pure
The meaning of clear

With a surreal light
Which bends the prism
And frees me from physical
Prison cell

And all along I’ve been looking through
The edge of iron and steel
The wood, the window
The highest ideal

My window
459 · Oct 2018
Beauty
Haylin Oct 2018
Beauty is only skin deep.

You could be the most attractive person in the world,
but still be a complete *****.

Some people at school they are so pretty,
but they are the ones who bully you.
458 · May 2018
Fluid
Haylin May 2018
I'm a girl
But somedays
I'm a boy
457 · Nov 2018
What is a firefighter
Haylin Nov 2018
He's the guy next door....
He's a guy like you and me with warts and worries and unfulfilled dreams.
Yet he stands taller than most of us.
He's a fireman....
A fireman is at once the most fortunate and the least fortunate of men.
He's a man who saves lives because he has seen too much death.
He's a gentle man because he has seen the awesome power of violence out of control.
He's responsive to a child's laughter because his arms have held too many small bodies that will never laugh again....
He doesn't preach the brotherhood of man.
He lives it.
454 · Feb 2020
Dear Ex-Boyfriend
Haylin Feb 2020
Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm sorry you had to go.
It wasn't fair, but I understand.
Your happiness was just as important to me
as my own.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I hope you're doing well.
Never will I wish ill upon you,
no matter how much I wish I hate you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm crying on the floor.
My sadness is a black hole trying to **** me into myself.
I miss you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm wearing the makeup that you hated.
*******.
I do what I want.
Dear ex-boyfriend,
You gave me hope that you would come back to me.
Don't.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I realized that I never needed you to love me.
I realized that I was right here to do it for you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I look back fondly on our time together.
I will always love you.
But you left, and please never look back.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
One day you'll find a girl better than me.
I hope she makes you happy.
450 · May 2018
Relapse
Haylin May 2018
i told you
because
i wanted you
to stop me.
433 · Jun 2019
Lust and Greed
Haylin Jun 2019
After Lust watched her client leave her hotel room she picked up her communicator off the dresser and called Greed her **** who was also her husband.

"Hello Greed where are you?" asked Lust as she sat on the bed.

"I just arrived at the Blue Flame Hotel.  I'll be at your room soon" answered Greed.

"Ok Greed I'll see you when you get here" said Lust.

Lust got dressed and waited on Greed.  Within ten minutes there was a knock on Lust's hotel room door.  Lust opened the door and let Greed in.

"Where's my money?" asked Greed as soon as he entered the room.

"Greed you act like you don't trust me.  You promised to lay riches at my feet and put power in my hands" said Lust.

"Trust you? I do trust you but not a hundred percent" said Greed.
428 · Feb 2019
Heaven
Haylin Feb 2019
If a forever with you
is what heaven feels like

I'd be more than willing
to take my own life
426 · May 2018
Cutting
Haylin May 2018
Cutting
Choose your spot
Cutting
Shine it nice
Cutting
Pretend your real
Cutting
Shed a tear
Cutting
Let the blade arrive
Cutting
Give direction
Cutting
Sigh your perfect sigh
Cutting
Show your shallow smile
Cutting
Bleed alone
Cutting
Die alone.....
419 · Apr 2019
Rain Music
Haylin Apr 2019
Sometimes the rain falls
as if its penning poetry
to the rhythm of its own music;
a sonic tune of the liquid tapestry.

Cleft from a sky immersed
in the scene of a tragedy.
It's torn,
the pitter-patter;
a solemn dance
for all humanity.

An ancient jig this fluid frolic
never tiring of its endless cycle
vesting and revisiting this terra firma
like a lover emasculating the earth
of its desert state,
or adding to its oceans
in a bid to be free.

But you’re here again, I’ve noticed
for even through windows
your music plays a clamorous
and a rather brazen beat.

Take my hand, why don’t you?

Come.

Dance with me.
419 · Apr 2018
Walking Through High School
Haylin Apr 2018
This is it everything that you have gone through us now memories.
All of your happy and sad times in high school have now faded.
A new life has begun on your own.
No more waking up dreading that this day will never get here.
Now the day is here and your missing everyone before they even
walk through these high school doors.
Every memory is left unsaid.
On graduation day everyone cried, I even cried.
Knowing that I may never get to hang with my friends ever again.
Hoping they'll be here for my graduation crying with me.
415 · Sep 2019
Life Support
Haylin Sep 2019
I want
to set her free
you need me, let go
so we can hold
each other.
413 · Mar 2018
Stop & Wonder
Haylin Mar 2018
Sometimes I stop and wonder what it would be like if I wasn't here
Sometimes I think if I'm pretty enough?
If I'm thin enough?
If I will ever be popular?
I say to myself "Would life be better without me?"
Some voices in my head say yes
Others say no
Which voice do you think I listened to?
Well if I'm telling you this, it's obvious that I stayed
I'm glad I stayed
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