I often imagine that the moon, the owls and the darkness of the night might be my closest friends, they are my trusted companions through the few highs and the many lows. They comfort me when it's 3am and the rest of the world seems like they are sleeping soundly.
They’ve been witness to my tears and plees for this to all stop and comforted me when the four walls of this bedroom felt like a cage. The moon seems so distant yet its warmth kisses my cheek. Someday I might be able to force my body to ignore the protection of the darkness and live in the light of the sun. But I am manufactured to die slowly to the darkness and this body is like an incomplete metaphor for the disease that lives in my head without paying rent eating up all the light.
We got another sell. Another day we set sail. My purpose interconnected to a multitude of cosmic energies. Searching in the midst for higher realms to dwell. Breaking free from self composed hell. The world is my playground and all is well. If I was meant to fall. I would fail. My black *** is living lively and peacefully. An infinite soul ties to many lifelines. Free from harm and not meant to be caged in jail.
The openness that the curtains were giving me is terrifyingly peaceful — the bundle of joy I felt when a little boy creeps in and peeked through while his eyes roam around and I gazed upon his hopeless dilated pupil.
Around the bushes outside, there are roses blooming in the night — while his shirt has been struck like lightning laid his hands on him and there were bloods sticking out his nose; Ceased brows were heavily in my forehead then I saw him enter my room with a knife glued into his hands.
The eerie tic of my shivering body must have given him the freedom to do the stabbing and I let him do that — closing my eyes while I wait for him to shout and beg, I kneeled down in front of him and let my tears get a hold of me.
"I must have left you on the cold, I apologize." I said and he stabbed me right in the heart. The little boy smirked while I lost consciousness and everything seems slow in motion — the colors began to fade and my mom suddenly swayed through the door.
The curtains are swaying back and forth and I woke up with a bliss. There's a little boy outside.
Before you read this, you can listen to 'Bundle of Joy' by Jartisto.
This was inspired by the little boy I saw on tiktok. Anyways, it's been 21 days since I last posted. But, I was always checking this site. It's just the will I don't have. Happy reading.
I will never have the privilege to call you mine. I will never hold you in my arms. I will never kiss you. I will never have those long talks in the middle of the night with you. I will never wake up laying next to you. I will see you being happy without me. With someone that isn’t me. And I just have to accept that we were never meant to be.