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You are not coming home
You're only visiting mine
The path I've carved to the bone
With my blood and sweat
When you left me behind

We're expecting connections
From two dead cells
Yet there's not a flickering light
No spark to find

I want the best of both worlds
Knowing I've driven you away
While coping with the anger and confusion That leads me astray

I don't want restitution.
I don't seek retribution.
Here I see no resolution.
Let there be no delusion.

Perhaps there's a part of me
That will always care
About what you think or how you feel
But honestly it's hard for me to be real
When the wounds never mutually heal

My heart is repealed
Until your story's revealed
Maybe when Hell freezes over
Or pigs grow wings and fly
Suffice to say

I've grown older
Fulfilled in my own ways
Chasing epiphanies and revolutions
I've become colder
Concealed in my own space
Now I've found the ideal solution

Simply (smile)
Give you an illusion
This poem is dedicated
"What did you do this summer"
Flashbacks of me waking up at 2am to eat
Flashbacks of me up all night watching the office
Flashbacks of me sleeping in the day
"So much" I answer with a smile
umm yea tht pretty much it
i practically hear the vsco girls "and i oop"
Jordan Hudson Jul 12
Hold back my cry grab a knife
Can I stab my heart and die
Take the blade and end my life
End it all say goodbye
Take the blade and stab myself
End it all and leave this hell
Take away the pain I felt
Only time can tell
Leave this hell
Can I leave
Can I breathe
I will plead guilty
Of my sins, you win
I will pray
I will say
Admit, I'm afraid
I will break
I hate my face
My life my past
I come last
Goes by too fast
Hold back my cry grab a knife
Can I stab my heart and die
Take the blade and end my life
End it all say goodbye
Take the blade and stab myself
End it all and leave this hell
Take away the pain I felt
Only time can tell
Trapped in a cell
I wanna **** myself
Every night
I fight and cope with dreams
Things I see happening
I can read my life will lead
Me to the streets
Keeping heat
By a fire in a barrel
My life is terrible
No future
No dreams
Will come true
What did I do
I wanna chance
I'm in a trance
As I glance
Ahead in time
I rhyme I'm alive
I say I'm fine
But truth is I wanna die
Wake me up
Rise above
And take me
My life is already crushed
Hold back my cry grab a knife
Can I stab my heart and die
Take the blade and end my life
End it all say goodbye
Take the blade and stab myself
End it all and leave this hell
Take away the pain I felt
Only time can tell
When can I leave this hell
I hate this place
I hate my face
I hate my ways
The words that I say
I cannot escape
I cannot sleep
Cannot leave
Can't be free
On my knees
Stuck trapped
I try to rap
Empty my chest
Not the best
Life is a test
And I've failed
Let me rest dead
I filled my head
I wanna lay
Dead burned up in a grave
I cannot be saved
I hate to say
Choices I made
I hoped for better days
I prayed
To God
That my life would upgrade
But I just stayed
And I'm afraid
Hold back my cry grab a knife
Can I stab my heart and die
Take the blade and end my life
End it all say goodbye
Take the blade and stab myself
End it all and leave this hell
Take away the pain I felt
Only time can tell
But I'm stuck in hell
The overwelming wave of sadness when the last person you were able to text goes offline at 3AM and you're alone in your bed just thinking about what comes next.

"Goodnight"
A "poem" every day.

I'm becomming sadder every day, and it starts to cost more and more. I'm tired of existing, of living like this.
Ritz Writes Jun 28
Light the fire, watch it burn.
Fire burns through my lungs, heart filled with tar.
See the spirit dancing in the smoke, echoing the silence of my thoughts,
While I inhale my pain quietly with each puff, let it ease my ache.
Between THOUGHTS and TONGUE,
Between  THRILLS and ECSTASY,
lies the stories unfold.
Smell of Cigar, fueled with sadness,
On the brink of fragile hope;
Until the next day dawns.
RitzWrites ♕
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." ~Albert Camus
Ritz Writes Jun 16
Behind all the angst and rant,
Behind all that frustration and days of solitude,
A child struggling to make amends.
Behind all that smoke and ashes,
Behind that sorrow hiding in mask,
A boy choking himself not to cry.
The Big Bad World will move on without your existence and soon you'll turned into dust and no legacy left to mourn over.
"Oh Mama! What do I do now?
The sleep alleviated the pain.
In dreams, I found my escape."

©RitzWrites ♕
Cotton Candy Jun 16
i can not be the only one
who has those nights
where you feel
a power deep within
as if you could pull the
oceans into the earth
make the sun set
and the moon rise
turn the masses
to turn to you
those nights
where you feel
as though
you could save the world
where you feel
as though as you could
save yourself
Ritz Writes Jun 13
I chose to FORGIVE and FORGET
so that I could MOVE ON and EVOLVE.
I chose to FORGIVE not because I was told to do so;
It was my sole purpose to overcome the NIGHTMARE from the past.
When the weight of the world was pulling me down
I found my way to fight back and wear my CROWN.

I chose the road that was filled with THORNS
Wear my scars with pride, not to make a face and frown.
To begin again from a state of TABULA RASA,
Unfiltered mind
Welcome the newborn.
"For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." ~ T.S. Eliot
Ritz Writes Jun 7
Pretentious smile,
I wish I could drown myself to sleep for a while.
Silver jubilee ringing,
yet afraid of the dark.
When the night haunts and loneliness arrives,
I'd still cowered in terror, hidden under the blanket
Like a broken mirror with shattered glass,
All the gamut of emotion laid scattered with each passing memories and bygone days.
"Don't you dare to speak.
Don't you dare to rebel.
Don't you dare to resist."
Else the shame and label of Traitor would be hung on your image for decades to come.
I Spoke, I Resist, I disobeyed
Not in the eyes of God
But in the eyes of men and women who couldn't find flaws in their own life.
And finally rejoiced to embrace the black dot in the perfect delusional world of normalcy.
“If you look for perfection, you'll never be content.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
Ritz Writes Jun 5
Humans.
Ohh! dealing with heartbreaks and pain
Still clinging to a false hope of chain.
Thundering shower and rain
Let the rain purge away
All the sadness and stains,
remnants of yesterday.
Humans.
Molded and fashioned from common clay.
Sweats and hunger
Toiling hard throughout the day.
Frustration and hunger,
Unpredictable days and danger.
Humans.
Embodies both strong and fragile
Success and failure
Come what may!
This is the world we dwelled in
A safe haven and torturous hell
The cycle of birth and death
The rhythm of our destiny.
"Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. " ~
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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