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1d · 47
Virginity
Haylin 1d
I think back to when it happened,
think back to that awful day.
The day when it all happened,
the day he took "it" away.

Fighting. Yelling. Crying.
It didn't matter how loud I screamed.
Nobody came to help me.
Nobody came to set me free.

I still dream of running,
of trying to break away.
Of feeling him catch me,
every **** day.

I see him in the shadows,
even while I'm at home.
I close my eyes and pray he's gone,
only then I can't help but feel him.

To this day I feel him,
his tight grip on my wrists,
The pressure of his body
as I tried to resist.

He continued to ****** away,
as I fought and yelled and cried.
It didn't matter how loud I screamed,
Nobody came to help me.
Nobody came to set me free.
Oct 4 · 202
I'll Never Forget Pt 3
Haylin Oct 4
2/5/09 - The day I lost my best friend (Grandpa)
7/?/12 - Moved in with dad
12/11/16 - Tried to KMS
9/16/17 - The day my dad and stepmom got married
4/3/18 - Started dating my boyfriend
6/19/18 - The day my dad gave me up and kicked me out

New:
6/23/19 - Day my uncle died. He never gave up on me
10/3/19 - My best friend died(Grandma)
)`:
Sep 24 · 181
America Anymore
Haylin Sep 24
We have many ideas,
but we do not seem to have idealists anymore.

We have droves of problem solvers,
but we do not seem to have solutions anymore.

We have endless media discourse,
but we do not seem to have dialogue anymore.

We have unrestrained capitalism,
but we do not seem to have money anymore.

We have innumerable drugs,
but we do not seem to have treatment anymore.

We have scores of Baby Boomers,
but we do not seem to have elders anymore.

We have unlimited vacation days,
but we do not seem to have days off anymore.

We have incalculable amounts of information,
but we do not seem to have facts anymore.

We have regular, established elections,
but we do not seem to have elected officials anymore.

We have America,
but we do not seem to have a nation anymore
Sep 20 · 137
Life Support
Haylin Sep 20
I want
to set her free
you need me, let go
so we can hold
each other.
Haylin Sep 19
My life was fine and I was happy
And then you showed up
And everything went abrupt

You made me laugh until my face went numb
My problems you held like a forceful gun
I soon discovered an emotion I'd never felt
And you ripped it away from my fragile heart

My eyes once glowed like the stars beaming bright
But now they're filled with the sea spilling out
It's true you listened and that is no doubt
But you showed no remorse and simply threw me about

For so long I clung to you, scared of the world around
And now I'm sitting in my room unable to move about
In fear of being alone

I thought I was broke
And you would make me whole
But I didn't realize you tore me one by one
Into pieces, I lost, long ago with my smile

I cried every day
And forced you to keep me together
But little did I know that you couldn't find me either
Gave up on my life and lusted for me rather

I thought that it was love
But it was too late when I found out
That you were the one to hide my pieces
And wrote love on each end
To make me think that it was okay to be used over and over again
Aug 29 · 109
This is High School
Haylin Aug 29
only the pretty girls can break the rules
they are the only ones who can protest against the dress code
"no spaghetti straps, no tank tops, no short dresses or skirts"
but they still do it
if you don't have a nice body, forget trying to do the same
only girls with **** bodies can do this
it gives people a show
if you are considered to not have a nice body,
you will be the one to get yelled at
while a girl ten feet away
has a dress so short, it's amazing you can't see anything private
now, supposedly, I have a nice body
because the things I'm wearing are against dress code
and no one has said anything yet
spaghetti strap, belly button showing, bra strap showing
do they just not care,
or am I considered one of the lucky ones?
am I the one with a nice body?
or does no one really give a **** anymore?
here, at this school, it's most likely the first one
it's just the way society is
I'm sorry
this is just the way it is
this is just the way high school is
good luck
Aug 21 · 72
Band
Haylin Aug 21
That feeling you get
When you finish the show
Before anyone starts clapping.

That feeling of breathlessness and accomplishment all at the same moment.

That my friend, is what we march for.
I just finished band camp 2 weeks ago and tonight we just had our first rehearsal and I've got to say, this has been the best time of my life. I love these people and I can't wait to spend the next 2 years with them
Jul 30 · 135
Where I Call Home
Haylin Jul 30
I step through the door
of the place which feels
more like home than my house

My ears fill
with sounds of drumsticks on drums
mallets on marimbas

My eyes fall upon flutes, clarinets
trumpets and tubas

I look up at my family
none of which are related to me
yet they
make
this
place
home.
I just joined band this year and it's only been 6 days and I already feel at home.
Jul 17 · 149
Doctor, Doctor
Haylin Jul 17
Doctor, Doctor
I've trouble with my eyes

Then take these blue pills,
That's what I advise

Oh Doctor, Doctor
My bones are all sore

White pills I prescribe
They'll hurt you no more

But Doctor, Doctor
My heartbeat is waning

Take red pills for that
You'll soon be regaining

Please Doctor, please
My mind fades away

For that, I have gray pills
You'll be sharper today

Its quite shocking Doctor,
My ***** is murky

Take these yellow pills
They'll clear it by Thursday

I mope around Doctor,
My mood's really flat

These rose-colored pills
Will take care of that

You must help me, Doctor,
In bed, I'm a flop

Then try these long capsules
They'll liven things up

Tell me please Doctor,
What's inside these pills?

Why medicine, of course,
To cure all your ills
Jul 6 · 120
Hurricane
Haylin Jul 6
The problem with love is that it’s as painful to lose
as it is beautiful to hold.
I was the eye of a needle in the eye of a storm;
Everything calm and clear where we stood under parity
Oblivious to my distant surroundings
And obsessed with the clarity.
Fresh air never smelt so good.
I knew they never truly felt I could survive but I could.
Now everything’s clear
And I am, this time, prepared;
My glass is half full but I’ll be careful not to spill my thoughts again.
My farcical haul through rugged-rough storms
And trivial pain
Has come to an unexpected but welcomed end.
Jul 1 · 218
Shelter
Haylin Jul 1
I can’t prevent the rain from falling,
Oh no, I can’t prevent the storm-
But I’ll be here for you when you’re frightened,
And craving shelter from it all.

Even though a drizzle,
Or a mighty hurricane-
I’ll brace the weather wholeheartedly,
If it means that you are safe.

For if the beast that’s brewing,
Is tearing down your forests limb by limb-
And the travesties he’s causing,
Are forcing you to walk with him-
I’ll take your hand so quickly,
And run with you so far away-
So this being can’t get hold of you,
And has to seek out other prey.

See darling your soul is mighty and pure,
Filled with comforts so serene-
And your mind is made up of fortresses,
Stronger than any part of me-
I’ll never give up if it means bringing you home,
To the comforts, you once knew-
The safety of your own body and mind,
Every beautiful part of you.
Jun 21 · 108
STORM ON THE HORIZON
Haylin Jun 21
Summer days, so hot and sticky
I can't wait for you to come
and us to steal away together
into the midday sun.
Sitting at a café just passing the time.
Watching the people pass by in the heat
I play with the silverware,
waiting for you.
And so I sit until I see your dark,
handsome face breaks free from the crowd.
As I wait with a glass of Riesling
and phone in my hands.
You've made me wait,
and your eyes like sea green glass
tell me that a storm is brewing
just beyond my reach.
I have been waiting for it seems like
an eternity in the same café for you, always for you.
Could I have been so wrong
to love a man beyond my reach?
And with just a kiss on the cheek, you are gone.
Jun 11 · 291
An Exam
Haylin Jun 11
Life is just a long exam

Some pass

But most fail
Jun 11 · 246
Exams
Haylin Jun 11
I am studying.
I am dying from exams.
I should get some sleep.



Don't you just love exams?
I don't.
I hate it
I'm reposting this cause I just finished my bio exam
Haylin Jun 7
We come before you Almighty God,
Policeman, Fireman, and EMT
to say a prayer before we go
Our ways to each his own Duty

Together now we've come to pray
In case we forget to
During our busy day

The Policeman steps forth,
“Dear God above
Keep us save
and also those we love.

We pray for your unending favor
that we never need use
the rounds we chamber

Our Vests that we wear
for our own protection
please keep 'em bulletproof
and our safety never question”

The Fireman steps up and then takes a knee
“Dear God above I need you now
I know you're always watching me

In the Fires of our Hell
or on the highway to there
Please keep us from hurt
and not singe a single hair

Give us the strength to lift a wall
or tenderness to pick up a tiny child
give us peace when others are losing it
and peace if the scene starts getting wild”

The EMT takes his stand
“God I guess it's my turn
Not really safety out there
or the protection from a burn

But rather Lord I need your help
let me make the right decision
on every patient that I care for
Their lives in my hands I've been given”

Then all Three stand together
with their heads, all bowed low
Dear God above, to all of us
please your mercy would you endow

Keep us safe and bring us home
to our wives and our children
And each time the truck roles out
let it come back safely to it's building
Jun 6 · 136
Lust and Greed
Haylin Jun 6
After Lust watched her client leave her hotel room she picked up her communicator off the dresser and called Greed her **** who was also her husband.

"Hello Greed where are you?" asked Lust as she sat on the bed.

"I just arrived at the Blue Flame Hotel.  I'll be at your room soon" answered Greed.

"Ok Greed I'll see you when you get here" said Lust.

Lust got dressed and waited on Greed.  Within ten minutes there was a knock on Lust's hotel room door.  Lust opened the door and let Greed in.

"Where's my money?" asked Greed as soon as he entered the room.

"Greed you act like you don't trust me.  You promised to lay riches at my feet and put power in my hands" said Lust.

"Trust you? I do trust you but not a hundred percent" said Greed.
Jun 5 · 267
I'm an Addict
Haylin Jun 5
The world around me is revolving slowly
While the people surrounding move faster & faster
As I am caught in between the fibers of time

Why am I here?
Do I even belong?

My only therapy is the songs I hear in my head
My only medication is the drugs that make me wish I were dead

I'm just a shell of my former self.
I'm not what I used to be.

It seems there's no resolution,
only an empty cell waiting for me in this institution.

Dear diary, please help me now.

There's only so much abuse I can inflict upon myself.

The cuts on my wrist, the empty bottle of pills
The lacerations on my fist, shaking from the anger still.

I've got my fix, each line getting me higher
The only answer getting clearer, as my lows keep climbing to the ladder.

My sanity escaping.
Depression creeping
As the ghost of death takes over me.

Oh diary, it seems it's goodbye to you and me.
It seems no matter what I do, the world isn't going to accept me.

I'll never belong.

I'll always be different.

Goodbye and goodnight.

I'll see you on the other side.

----------------------------

Dear diary, I'm an addict.

Yesterday was proof of concept.

Tomorrow is a death wish.

If I don't do something now,
I may never get to see the light of day.

Dear diary, please help me now.

Because I can't do this alone anymore.
But I'll never say what I'm an addict of.
Jun 5 · 227
Silently Screaming
Haylin Jun 5
At the end of the day, all things end.
When all is said and done, we are merely men.
Nearly men never find their true love.
We are left so close but never touched.
So far from being,
Always only ever seeing and dreaming,
While inside we remain…silently screaming.
May 31 · 237
Chemistry
Haylin May 31
We press our bodies together
Forcing separate atoms to form one
Of a new breed,
But it will never be achieved
We don’t bond
Just periodically breathe.
May 31 · 141
Through a Window
Haylin May 31
All along
I’ve been looking through
The stained, the pure
The meaning of clear

With a surreal light
Which bends the prism
And frees me from physical
Prison cell

And all along I’ve been looking through
The edge of iron and steel
The wood, the window
The highest ideal

My window
May 24 · 923
How Sharp Then?
Haylin May 24
When a white woman is victimized they'll scour the streets, fan out, stop,
harass, detain, arrest any black man. Anyone they can finger for the crime.

They say things such as they all look alike or something to that effect.

A black woman is abused they'll look around, see white males everywhere but they cannot find any suspects? None of them fit the description.

Why is that?

Yeah, that's right, it is because they all look alike! Too many of 'em. Can't arrest everyone now, can we? People have rights!

Yep,
          I suppose they do...



As long as you consider them,
                                                        "­p­eople,"  
                                                    ­  ­                         -they have rights.
May 10 · 144
Nothing but Calm
Haylin May 10
You know that feeling
When everything around you
Is just spinning,
Pounding,
Bringing total chaos?

But somehow you feel nothing at all.
Not scared about being shot at.
Not being scared that a car is about to hit you.
Not being scared that the freshman that you just shoved out of your way will come and hurt you.

You just stand there,
Watching the bullets fly at you.
Watching the headlights on the car come straight at you.
Walking away but turning around to make sure he isn't running after you.
Just waiting to see what will happen next.

That feeling you have when all that chaos is happening,
That my friend is called calm.
May 6 · 100
One Thing About Rain
Haylin May 6
One thing about rain:
it's not just water nor droplets
but bullets of different emotions.
A match stick that burns your soul
in a deep, vague coldness.

Some found happiness from it;
I once did.
And some did find something
they did not want nor expect.

But a thing about rain:
you will always find something.
It will always give you a thing,
even if you're not aware.
And when you're not aware,
let me tell you,
it is the rain.

A thing about rain,
it's a door.
A door that leads to places you once went.
A door that opens widely for a rent.
It is more than just water;
it's a memory
You can't assume it is the same place
you once longed to be.
We can't say that door is safe
nor the door is free.

Some were trapped,
some managed to escape,
some managed to smile,
and I managed to fear.
I fear that rain would prolong and
would bear a fruit.
But it didn't, it just plucked up
a great root.

How wonderful the rain could be.
How it crashed to ground a resilient tree.
How one could change with a single memory.
And how rain triggers my anxiety.
Apr 30 · 310
Lost Friend
Haylin Apr 30
The worst part of losing someone is feeling them slip away.

Knowing that they would rather be doing anything else, than be with you.

Knowing that you're nothing but a weight, holding them back.
Knowing that you aren't enough.

But maybe you shouldn't have fooled yourself like that.

When have you ever been?
Apr 26 · 280
Rain Music
Haylin Apr 26
Sometimes the rain falls
as if its penning poetry
to the rhythm of its own music;
a sonic tune of the liquid tapestry.

Cleft from a sky immersed
in the scene of a tragedy.
It's torn,
the pitter-patter;
a solemn dance
for all humanity.

An ancient jig this fluid frolic
never tiring of its endless cycle
vesting and revisiting this terra firma
like a lover emasculating the earth
of its desert state,
or adding to its oceans
in a bid to be free.

But you’re here again, I’ve noticed
for even through windows
your music plays a clamorous
and a rather brazen beat.

Take my hand, why don’t you?

Come.

Dance with me.
Apr 8 · 217
21st Century Teacher
Haylin Apr 8
Fighting on the front lines
With red pens
For creativity,
For independent thought,
For common sense
Not Common Core

This is a battle in a bureaucratic war we’re losing
Keep pushing and shoving against an impenetrable wall
But we’re only foot soldiers, not actually giving orders

Kids look down on us and they ask,
“Will this be on the test?”
And say,
“Get out of my face.”

Here’s what I wonder: Why is “mistake” a forbidden word?

Taught by parent(s) to resist.
These are Kids who fail to create
But recite, recall, and retaliate

School is no longer a safe haven
Testing, testing, 1-2-3 hundred murdered students, teachers
Safety off and then off
And
Still off

Hanging by a thread and losing the grip a little more every day

Following the curriculum map to X marks the standardized test.

We dig and
                  Dig and
                                 Dig
For the buried treasure trove of teaching magic. The legitimacy and respect our careers deserve. The money, the time, the love, the support.

But it’s buried under so much testing and red tape, and so    

We fail.
Mar 28 · 988
Greed
Haylin Mar 28
I brought you the moon
but
you wanted all the stars

Thanks for being greedy
when I gave you all I had
Mar 27 · 113
Clock, I miss you
Haylin Mar 27
Clock? Could you tell me,
if I could reverse time,
what day would I turn back to?

maybe the day I spotted a flower, blooming alone in a field
spacious silence for it to grow
ever so gentle movement in the breeze that spring day

or the day I met you
your smile shining brighter than the crowd
eyes like the rich soil from which you grew
if only you'd learn to
                                      outgrow
                                                      the spaces  
                                                        ­                between us

maybe then clock, I could recall why you left me for the fields of silence
Haylin Mar 27
The night
had stuffed the dark

into every crevice
of the house

and his life
awoke to a big blue sky

holding a crocus
in the palm of its morning.

The world was springing
into being

all around him
as if existence had

changed its mind and
decided to stay.

A solitary oak
reached a gnarled hand

and snatched a cloud
( that happened to be passing by )

out of the air
just like that.

The cloud struggled
to break free.

The oak gave a hearty laugh
and let it go.

The cloud scurried away
fretfully looking over its shoulder.

"So, what kept ya?"
he asked spring.

Spring...just smiled.
Mar 12 · 332
Names
Haylin Mar 12
in my small town
last names mean everything & being a good kid means nothing
Mar 12 · 334
Tennis
Haylin Mar 12
The yellow ball soars through the air
From whence it came I do not care
And with a great, tremendous whack
I send it soaring, soaring back
Mar 12 · 85
A GAME OF TENNIS
Haylin Mar 12
15 to love, still able to win,
gotta tough it out,
winning is everything. Losing's a sin.
I'll keep trying. I'm still in with a shout.

My backhand slices
the ball to my foe
(Joe's my friend but in a crisis,
I shift where the winds blow)

He parries, sends the ball to the line,
his touch is immaculate,
cleaner than mine.
I leap like a cat

return it with ease
he flicks it back over the net
intending to tease.
I grimace. We made a bet

and now I engage
into higher gear,
my brain fills with rage,
my heart fills with fear.

Advantage to me,
the crowd stands to cheer,
Joe falls to one knee,
buckled, losing a tear.

I volley. It whizzers
past his frozen form
he tries, but misses,
defeated, forelorn.

At last I have won,
the gold cup is mine,
another dream spun,
back to the factory line.
Feb 18 · 153
BELIEVE SOME LIES
Haylin Feb 18
I faced the demon of lies who lives within my soul
Now there’s no way in hell I’d let your people go
I mortify my love in the fires of your pain
Burning eternally hot, did you spread my fame?
Blood red those evil eyes, sing a wicked lullaby
Relax, don’t cry, there’ll be time to pay when you die
Do you believe in sins redeemed, do you believe in dreams?

Let the sun beat down and shine on us
While we sing and dance, in god we trust
And when it rains which it eventually will
Let’s blame the devil for the rage we feel
Let every man, woman, boy, and girl
Find their place in this crazy world
And crazier yet before we die
Let’s take a chance and believe some lies
Feb 15 · 113
Valentine's Day
Haylin Feb 15
Honestly

Cupid can go **** himself
Doesn't he know that arrows are for killing?
Does he even have a hunting license?

What was he thinking
When he shot
This hole
In my heart?

Was he trying to make me bleed out?
Haylin Feb 14
Wednesday, 14th of February 2018, 7.00pm,
" breaking news, a mass-shooting happened today in Florida, American authorities are calling this the worst school shooting in U.S.A's history "
6 minutes and 20 seconds,
That's all it took,
17 confirmed dead,
15 injured,
Countless more lives ruined,
All in under 10 minutes,
No parent should ever have to hug their child,
So tight,
Just because it might be the last time they'll ever say goodbye,
No kid should ever have to be afraid of their school hallway,
Or be afraid of who's standing in the classroom doorway,
No kid should ever wonder if this day will be their last,
And no parent should ever have to bury their kid,
Six feet out of their reach,
So this is for Scott,
And for Alyssa,
For Martin,
And for Nicholas,
Not forgetting Aaron,
This goes to Chris,
And Luke,
For Cara,
And for Gina,
Joaquin and Alaina,
Meadow, Helena, and Alex,
Carmen and Peter,
You are all in our hearts,
Let's face it,
The Floridian community of Douglas,
Will never go back to " normal "
So, Washington? Trump?
Riddle us this?
When is this going to be added to your list of " proud American traditions "?
There are too many heavy hearts,
Too many dark days,
Too much chaos and confusion,
For this to be swept under the carpet again,
Just like the last time,
We aren't even a quarter of the way into 2018,
Yet there has been over 30 mass-shootings since the beginning of January,
So here's to the people who aren't accepting the truth,
Who are too " confused " to realize what's going on,
For the people who haven't woken up to the fact,
That there were unidentified bodies,
Sitting cold in that school for over 24-hours,
And do not tell me I am too young to know what I'm talking to you about,
I stand alongside Emma Gonzalez, and the hundreds of young people across the globe,
This isn't just for our lives,
This is for everyone's lives,
Since when did " don't shoot nice people " become such a controversial statement?
Since when did school safety become a debatable, two-sided matter?
So I will join my fellow marchers,
And yell loudly and unapologetically,
Until they hear our voices,
In the words of Emma Gonzalez,
Adults like it when we have strong test scores,
But not when we have strong opinions,
We are Marching For Our Lives,
And this is our legacy.
Here we are 1 year later and he's still awaiting trial
Haylin Feb 4
what is a man-made education
getting a job,
not working in your field,
as that degree, hangs dusty on the wall, yet
we passed the class,
we made the grades,
we're smart, yet we keep ******* up...
you know it, I know it,
we all know it.
Haylin Feb 4
the number you wanted
you got it
so just smile and be thankful
you thought it would make you happy
but you find yourself striving even harder still
towards
more or less
Feb 1 · 285
Heaven
Haylin Feb 1
If a forever with you
is what heaven feels like

I'd be more than willing
to take my own life
Feb 1 · 290
Succubus
Haylin Feb 1
Her fingers trail my arm with cold calculation,

her laughter as sweet as the deadliest sin.

She looks into my eyes with nothing but determination,

bites my lip and gives a sigh.

She takes what she wants without hesitation,

weaving her magic into the air.

At last, I am told that my time is over,

she ***** my soul out without a care.
Feb 1 · 195
My Succubus
Haylin Feb 1
I don't feel the want, to talk too much
her touch and eyes say more
every stroke, tender kiss
reaches, to my core

A subtle caress of motion
an embrace of words, pure art
statuary built from scratch
moving in my mind, and heart

So don't stop, or pause
on the path, of silent need
hand in hand, we'll wander on
and on each other, feed
Feb 1 · 144
A Ticket to Hell
Haylin Feb 1
She was the devil if the devil's curse was lust
He was  a worshiper, her body his altar
They represented disdain through all who knew them
But she was a drug and He was addicted
Feb 1 · 146
Just Think About It
Haylin Feb 1
"...The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work."
~ 1 John 3:8

"...people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment..."
~ Hebrews 9:27

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
~ Romans 5:8

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness,
but will have the light of life.'"
~ John 8:12
You don't have to be a believer to understand.
Feb 1 · 188
Color of Sin
Haylin Feb 1
You can always tell the Devil's cheating halo,
It's the color never seen within a rainbow.
You can always tell the Devil's cheating halo,
It's the dark one. It's the color of sin.
Feb 1 · 251
Of Color
Haylin Feb 1
color
is deeper
than skin,
it is soul, dark
for people are
afraid to go there,
so we let the eyes
trick us, becoming blind
by sight
Feb 1 · 104
Color
Haylin Feb 1
Color, one word, thousands of references
It is an illusion, science perhaps may explain it
But people have utterly transformed its definition over the past decades
Is it pride? Is it wealth you carry within you once you are born precious yet so fragile?

Define it for me
Release the inner load of prejudiced assumptions
Passed down from generation to generation
Do not be afraid to speak your mind
For you are enlightening me
Go on, define it for me

Red, orange, blue and green
Purple, pink, white and colors we've already seen
Came in touch with, and accepted for what they seem
Whom we do not hesitate adoring, whilst waiting for what more of them there is to see

Colors, beautiful bundles of joy
Billions of them undiscovered
Yet willing to view
And yet unwilling to embrace one another solely because our skin tone is a shade darker, or a shade lighter?

I'm sorry, I thought we loved the thought of not having to unlock our gates to gardens full of plain, dark pigmented red roses
There's got to be the lighter pigmented ones and the yet to blossom ones
The ones that are yet to be labeled
By humanity's impaired vision
Feb 1 · 137
In Color
Haylin Feb 1
I speak
in black and
white —

I think
in color.
Jan 30 · 459
Exams
Haylin Jan 30
I am studying.
I am dying from exams.
I should get some sleep.



Don's you just love exams?
I don't.
I hate it.
Jan 30 · 186
Dear God of Study
Haylin Jan 30
Dear God of Study,
I put my brain in your hands
Help me pass all my exams!

I'll be good all year round,
help my GPA from crashing on the ground.

All I need is a curvy C,
because that's what'll get me my degree.

Help.
Jan 30 · 187
School
Haylin Jan 30
They said
Don’t wear leggings
Or a shirt that shows your cleavage
Because you need to be covered up
You’re a distraction

They said
Don’t use your period as an excuse
For male teachers to let you go to the bathroom
Because you’re not fooling anybody

They said
Don’t shave your head
Boys can
You can’t and don’t
And won’t because we’ll suspend you

They said
Watch the length of your skirt
The color of your hair
The shoes and makeup
The piercings
And they call that fair

They said
Come to us if something is wrong
if you’re feeling bullied
if you feel unsafe
I guess they don’t remember asking my friend and I
if we heard of anyone in our year with suicidal tendencies
They asked us because
We were the sensible ones
The bright ones
We couldn't have been depressed.
I guess they didn’t see my panic
and my hand squeezing my wrist.


Because school
Is not a place
Where you can express who you are
School is not the place where you feel safe
It's a battleground on the outside of your comfort zone.

School isn’t about education
Its a challenge, competition
Its a measurement of your capabilities  

But what if you don't excel?
You’re called out for not being good enough
You're humiliated. Mocked.

You get looked down on
Judged
Embarrassed
And you don’t get your
Degree

As if a degree explains who you are
What you’ve been through
How much you’re worth

As if a degree
Measures the capacity
Of your heart
And your knowledge

And a teacher can share your grade
Make a joke and smirk
Cause they think you’re not worth it

And they can laugh and yell and call your parents
Who don’t think you’re any better.

Because year after year they’ve been led to believe
that you’re easily distracted
that you don’t do what you’re told
that you’re rebellious

Because even if you showed respect to the hypocrisy
That you can't help but notice,
They still won’t understand that you're just fighting
for what you believe is right, for mutual respect.

Because that’s not what you were thought.
You were thought to raise your hand when you want to speak.
And even if you made a valid point
You would still get lectured on putting your hand up when you want to speak.
Discipline put first.

**And that is my definition of school
Jan 30 · 187
Side Effects of School
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