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Filomena Apr 28
My teacher says there are no Christian witches
My good friend says no lesbians go by he
My father says degenerates belong in ditches
I guess just be the way you want to be
Even the most devout Christians
accept that Jesus was a guy
guys get ***** as do gals.

Yes, all of us have a creator in us
starlight
life-creating energy
poetry
and prose.

Maybe Jesus didn’t have the kind of darkness in him
that we have
the kind of drag
of pride and self-centeredness
that I have,
but by God!
he was faced with the same choices
between fidelity and desire
between horniness and selfless love.

Yep I fail in ways he did not
but he failed to get rid of lust just like I do
he failed to avoid selfish desires.
Of course, I act on them
and ***** up in ways he did not.
But do you think he didn’t feel ******* up at times?
Of course he did.

All of this humanity
is what makes me like him.
Jesus was a guy.
That he was more
is what makes me love him.
My mama had pictures of Jesus with rouge and a pretty face in our home. I never did like those pictures of him. Then I saw a picture of Salvadore Dali's Christ of St. John of the Cross. That's the kind of Jesus I could relate to as a teenager and young man. When I got my own apartment I got a print of that picture of this man on the cross. It captivated me and set me on a path to pursue this guy who was human and hairy like me. At that time in my life and for the rest of it, I did not like an overly divinized Jesus, a Jesus that made him less than human.
Carlo C Gomez Feb 16
...
Dear Mr. P - [stop] -
...
I was your knife in the water, a credit card kept exclusively for killing - [stop] -
I was a gingersnap on your sugar train, a flower-filled glory box to swallow your whole wide world - [stop] -
I was night, night of the electric insects, praying mantis and ladybug — nervous animals, lotus eaters, enjoying a ceremonial after meal
- [stop] -
I was slivers of pseudoscience poisoned by man-made seasons — a new and beautiful and interesting disease - [stop] -
You and me, we are now the same — snapshots in sheared time, before the closedown of our impossibly ****** impulses - [stop] -
...
Best wishes, V
···
I S A A C Jan 29
I refuse to diffuse myself
I refuse to refuse myself of these bubbling feelings
you brought me to a boil
you tried to be my character foil
scrub and rub myself clean of your imprinted kisses
but my mind is still tattooed by all your smooth moves
I was too naive and you were too cool
made me question my reality, made me lessen my sexuality
walking the line for someone again like the fool
Jade Dec 2021
I’ll be your pin up girl
just so you can
pin me down,
Baby.
s Nov 2021
it has been years since she learned how to make peace with her high school crush on you until it no longer stung
but you still talk every now & then, and every now & then she still finds herself quietly slipping in a flirtatious joke or two
playfully, discreetly, framed like a tease but the undertones are simply left unsaid, tucked away like your little secret
today she dates a man, long-term and loving, yet she knows she still does it to you every now & then just to feel something again
even if it meant feeling 15 years old again, in her pinafore and bata sneakers with her painfully simplistic understanding of love

to her, women are beautiful but impossibly out of reach - she is at peace having her daydreams about them from afar
she panics at the thought of actual reciprocation; internalizing past heartbreaks had taught her that she was unwanted
attractive only through the shattered lens of the male gaze, she comes to believe tenderness is something one must be deserving of
her younger uninhibited self escapes once more every now & then - it's harmless, she tells herself, she only flirts with you for fun
she knows all the old poems she wrote you have been shelved away in her archives to gather dust
but years pass and she learns to truly stifle the yearning, to bury the lines between platonic/romantic love in a pit to lay flowers atop

yet it was in a new flame she found that same tenderness in, this time navigating unfamiliar spaces between admiration/attraction
quietly and unassumingly it burned in one-sided flickers until it eventually fizzled out in smoke when they moved 2 hours away
but from the smoke arose a lingering longing for the same thrill of the playful back-and-forth, sneaking glances like a secret
alone, she slowly understands what she had not known before, piecing her feelings together as a sexually confused dr.frankenstein
little weeds started to bloom once more in the backyard, until she heard from a friend of a friend that they were back in town again

after a long year spent coming to terms with herself, her mind wanders to what if they had never gone / if they stayed all along
birds whispered that there was more to the story than she knew, but she knows she wanted there to be something more
or was it just the copious amounts of self-deluded coping mechanisms she surrounded herself with to forget?
perhaps she hoped the pining might lead her someplace exciting, where she could give in and let them lead the way across for once
but temptation risks stepping into the unfamiliar and she seems content not wanting to let go of the comforts of speculation, fantasy
even more so, how could she know what a woman's reciprocity looked like if she had never been subject to it before?
thoughts about sapphic panic, and (un)/requited crushes. feeling (and being?) unfaithful *****, and trying to explain it but coming off as rationalizing unfaithfulness even moreso. is it misplaced bisexuality or compulsory heterosexuality? poly curiosity or being bad at monogamy? you decide. this feels unfinished because it is. we don't know what happens next because it's an ongoing saga. listened to angel olsen while writing this.
Moon Wright Nov 2021
I really thought
I had it all figured out

Asexuality was the perfect
description of me

I didn't look at someone
and was sexually attracted
to them

Everything was perfect

Then, I started to notice
how women are hot
and men are attractive

Now, I know I'm not straight
I never was
but this was new for me

The possibility
of me not being straight
but not being asexual
was real now

But I think I have it
figured out

I am still asexual
but I am demipanromantic

I have to know the person
extremely well and have
a connection with them
but gender doesn't matter
for me when it comes
to a love relationship

Sexuality is a fragile thing
always subjected to change
but when it does
DON'T FREAK OUT

Things will work themselves out
and if there isn't a label for you
you can always make one
My struggle with self-identity once more
pick a side
pick a side
pick a side

like sports teams
like equations
like war

pick a label
pick a gender
pick an orientation

what the hell
do we need sides for?

i'm on the side of acceptance
i'm on the side of love
i'm on the side of no sides

maybe one day that will be enough
she told me to pick a side
M Vogel Aug 2021

You are in there,  I am certain of it--
Behind the gear's finely-honed,
precision fit..  gear
in to gear
in to gear

into gear..
And I wonder..  do you want out?
The machine  on the outside, self-repairs
Any attempt towards dismantle  from
the external,  is futile..
But the internal,  beautiful girl..

"I don't know what you mean, about 'machine'"
She is apprehensive, those beautiful
brown eyes,  looking up at me..
"Look down, sweet girl"
Her thighs, fully parted,  as I slide
in to her.. those amazing hips,
moving so perfectly with mine,  extracting..

Milking from me, my warm  pulsing *****--
a deeply-penetrating lubricant,  pulsed
deeply into the machine
As if to lubricate its gears..
As if..

But penetrating so deeply, as to now
permeate the insides  of the
mechanization's innerworkings--
turning from lubricant, to that
of a corrosive nature..
Fully coating now, the inner you..

as it turns back now, into that
of a healing balm
Bringing to you  a moment of Light  
  and internal clarity--  
long enough for you to see

That the machine  is made vulnerable
by the ever-changing qualities  of
Love that found its way through
As the awakened parts within you, for the
first time.. understand
the machine's love-blocking, nature

And you begin to choose, mid-******
the machine's dismantle,  from the inside--

'Little by little..

Line, upon line..

Block, upon block..

Precept, upon precept..'


Until we have the chance,  once again..
to do it all again
the power of christ compels
.
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