There's a ringing, ringing in my ears,
You can't hear it, the people don't hear it.
I draw rings, the ringing in my ears.
Dark circles appear under my eyes;
I am so tired from doing nothing.
The lights flash and we don't blink,
Forces clash and we don't blink.
I can't hear what you're not saying,
What you're not praying, proclaiming,
For there's a ringing within my ears.
It drowns out the stars,
It drowns out all fright for
I am so tired from doing nothing.
Peace and retreat drive me mad;
Retreat is not peace, it is pieces.
There's a ringing, ringing in my ears,
You can't hear it, the people don't hear it...

If I'm a drought,
You're a desert storm.

I hide behind
My glasses lens.
How foolish is that,
When everyone
Can see through them?
Through me?

Words
     that constantly run through my mind and fill my vision
     I can't get enough
Canisters and bottles
     that bring me peace when I'm done dealing
His hands
     that make me shake with desire and terror
Hello Poetry
      -- now I have somewhere to put everything
Connor Jessup and Finnick Odair
     because I'm a fangirl
Pain
     and it follows me everywhere
Sunsets and starry nights
     that I can't stop drawing
Photography
     -- always
My religion and beliefs
     -- I'll never sell out

She saw him
And fell apart.
The only boy
She ever gave
Completely her heart.

He looked well,
Like a dream.
A dream that
Brought her tears,
Made her cry,
Laugh, and scream.

She misses him,
Doesn't want to.
He no longer
Holds her heart,
But he left
A burning tattoo.

There goes my heart
Ripped out by the breeze
And carried off
For miles by the wind

WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM MULTIPLE POETS

You don't cut, your wrists are fine.
          If I was dumb enough to cut my wrists I'd have been caught by now.
You're not anorexic, I've seen you eat.
          How much, really?
You're not depressed, you smile all the time.
          Yeah, because acting and lying aren't things.
     ~WickedHope

You can't have anxiety, you talk to so many people.
          Its funny how you see me talking, but don't see the panic attacks.
     ~aesha nisar

You have a good life. There's no reason to be sad.
          You're part of the reason why I'm depressed.
     ~Phoenix

You're not angry, you haven't raised your voice or yelled.
          Maybe the voices yelling in my head are so loud I can't do anything
          but focus on keeping them quiet.
You're not scarred from your past, you act normal.
          If normal is crying for hours at night till tears can't come anymore
          and apathy sets in, then yes I'm quite normal.
     ~Stardust

You are so lucky, it's so easy for you to be good at what you do.
          You don't see the intensity of doubt and countless hours of anxiety to
          get things to the point they're not too embarrassing to show someone.
     ~PrttyBrd

You're fine. You aren't depressed, just really sad.
          If I'm not depressed, just sad, then why am I here everyday?
          Why am I here crying to you when I should be out, living?
     ~Tiffany Smith

God I swear every guy you meet online just wants to bone you.
          You say that like its a good thing. All I want is someone I can trust,
          someone I can rely on, not someone who wants to bone me.
You have boyfriends from everywhere, india, japan, china...
          I have none. These are only friends, the only one I want is you.
Your so strong.
          Yea, 'cause going home to cry in a corner, then stuffing my face with ice
          cream while watching sad anime is totally legit.
Are you okay?
          No I'm not ok. I just want to punch both your eyes out, then cuddle with
          you and make out with your face. Then maybe I'll just take a long break
          to bawl my eyes out and get rid of all evidence, all but the telltale clue of
          how swollen my eyes are
     ~Creep that Loved You

Come on. You can go to school. You're not sick.
          Physically, no. Now mentally...
Why are you so good at everything?
          That's because you don't bother to look deeper.
You look fine.
          Oh yeah, the red eyes and dark circles just add to my beauty.
I love you.
          Yeah, it looked like it when you were 'out' with your 'friends.'
     ~maha salman

You're so resilient. You've been through so much pain, yet here you are living strong.
          That's because every time someone says, are you OK? I just smile and
          say I'm fine. But none of them can hear the screaming in my brain saying
          I should just die.
You're so beautiful.
          No.... The smile is fake, powder covers the circles under my eyes,
          mascara makes my eyes look bright and lip stick covers the bite marks
          on my lips from where I chew through them when I'm anxious, or
          panicking, or being asked questions. You would be repulsed by the
          beast underneath.
You're such a talented poet.
          If writing down my deepest darkest dreams, nightmares, fantasies and
          memories, make me a good poet, then yes. But all I write is the thoughts
          that scream to come out or my head will explode.
     ~The Girl Who Loved You

You have never felt real pain, you are a man not a wuss.
          The worst pain hits you in the heart not in the head... Whats a man
          without pride, whats a man without a name?
Get over her bro, shes just one girl.
          One girl that I chose to love out of the 7 billion other people in the
          world.
Open up your heart to new people new things.
          What's the point in meeting people, when in the end they all just leave?
You aren't alone.
          I'm not alone? You lie through your teeth, where where you when I sold
          my soul to the devil and condemned myself to the abyss?
We are proud of you always, son.
          Words I've never heard, just the echoes of my parents inside my head.
You live a great life.
          That's not the message the untouched prescribed sleeping pills and           ecstasy portray.
     ~grld

You're so patient.
          On the outside yes, in the recesses of my mind I'm screaming my
          head off... waiting for something that will never happen.
     ~Julian Pacheco

Who cares about the others? You're not like them you're different.
          What if I don't want to be different? What If I want to curl up into a
          ball and pretend I don't think I'm failing you every moment of the day.
Life's not fair.
          Well maybe it's time it should be. Maybe it's time for us to stop
          thinking that we deserve more because that's all we've ever known.
          Maybe it's our job to MAKE life fair.
Forget it, move on.
          I don't want to. Shouldn't everyone be able to hold onto the things they
          hold close? If they were holding it close it meant something and if it
          meant something good then it's worth fighting for.
Shut up.
          No. This time I won't be quiet because I sit here and I listen to what you
          say every day; you treat whoever you want however you want and that
          is not your right. Everyone has an opinion. I want to share mine.
     ~Forgotten Dreams

You're so confident.
          Only because you do not see the pain and turmoil it causes me
          inside, and the sores inside my cheeks to keep from crying.
Why are you shaking? It's not even cold.
          Because I'm scared, scared of scenarios untrue.
~Makayla

You're not sad, you look so happy.
          Tell that to the guys who keep pointing all my flaws, and laughing
          about it, leaving me speechless because I have nothing to say in return.
You're such a good writer.
          And look how handy that is, won't ever shut them up for good.
You still have so much to live for.
          To keep living like this, might be considered anything but living. You're
          all too perfect for this world, but you know what? My body can't keep
          living in a different place my soul is.
     ~A Sad Sam

Chill out man, it's just a couple people.
          To me, three people is like three thousand people. Their voices circulate
          in my head and drive me crazy until I can't help but break down. You're
          right, I should definitely just chill out because I don't know anything
          about the disorder that brings a constant burden to my days.
Why are you so antisocial? Get off the computer and do something productive for once
          Try the fact that everybody that surrounds me makes me feel like the life
          I live isn't worth living and the comfort of understand people on the
          internet keeps me sane.
You're so lazy.
          Don't you dare start on that, because every ******* day I wake up and
          breathe despite my lungs collapsing in on themselves from all the
          pressure people give me, and every single day I do the work I'm told to
          do and I'm trying my hardest but I'm fighting a war with myself and it
          takes up every ounce of energy I have left. Don't you dare tell me that
          I'm lazy when every day I take all the strength I have to keep on living.
     ~Emma Tauzell

They had never met, didn’t know each other’s name --
          Yet their eyes were already making love.
     ~Deborah

You can't really love someone you've never met.
          He's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes, the last
          thing I think about before I go to sleep, he's in my thoughts all
          the moments in between, his face takes away the nightmares and
          fills all my dreams. How is this not love?
     ~Just Melz

Just forget about her and move on.
          How am I supposed to do that, when all I see is her and her
          precious qualities I so dearly love in every girl I talk to?
          Forgetting is a lot harder to do than finding.
     ~Neb Dnarts

something in you
catches my eye
can’t really say
it’s only the first day
i can't explain why i feel
this way  
i’m all alone
and chaos is happening

Thank you for sharing your opinion
On something I didn't ask about

Thank you for generalizing groups
That aren't as like minded as you claim

Thank you for discriminating against views
That don't agree with your own

I can't escape the thought of you lately it seems
I hear Thrice, Icon for Hire, Avenged Sevenfold, 7eventh Time Down,
       Sent By Ravens, hear them everywhere
See your brother in the store
See your mom at church
See a guitar
See the color red, the color green
Think of Christmas and what you meant to me
       Someone who waited for me to reach comfort
       Someone who left me too soon
       You accepted every piece of me
       You played the game, where we let the world laugh
The thought of skipping
When I dance, the salsa, anything
Watching the Sox game
Walking past you're old spot
       Remembering everyday that seemed to last forever and end
      too quickly
Every time I write the letter 'X,' your favorite
Think of green eyes, and how we said yours secretly were
Think Taylor Swift and the joke that you two were destined
My birthday comes and how you were the only one who
         remembered that year
Each time I still wear the perfume you bought me
Whenever I think of movies and how you drove out to be with me
See a bicycle or think long walks
Hear music in a language I don't understand
Get frustrated at Ecclesiastical Latin, because you do understand
Hide from the violence, because you grew up with it too

Think of leaving
Think of silence
Think of lies
Think of empty promises
Think of "I'll come back for you"

Think of calculus
And how you are such a nerd
And I stare at my paper
At these nonsensical equations
Of calculus
Of us

I know I laugh too loud
   I like to stay up too late
   My jokes aren't always funny
   And I'm not super into frisbee

I'm afraid of water
   Math is my sworn enemy
   I paint with too much paint
   And I flirt as well as a rock

But you wake up early
   Run the extra mile
   Just to bring me my tea
And I wish I knew how to thank you

I'm addicted to having my heart broken

Sometime while he's groping my chest
He rips my heart out of it

I live for being lied to

Keeping my eyes covered staying blind
As to only rely on his words

I'm crazy about being a game piece

To be handled and moved wherever he pleases
For toys are meant to be played with

Mostly though
I'm addicted to having my heart broken

being so near to you
i can sense how close you are
with every fiber of my being
     but i am frozen
i try to move against my pain
and reach out to you
to just step across the stream
     but i am frozen
beneath the surface
a river courses through my veins
begging for you, pleading
     but i am frozen
now i have so many dams
made of sharp ice
though naturally i flow freely
     but i am frozen
i want to be with you
i want to be in your arms
*i want to be thawed
     but i am frozen~

i am seaglass
collect me along the shore
i am once jagged edges
now dulled by time and salt
wounds full of salt
i have forgotten what sweet is
foggy clouded
clarity lost for the sake of beauty
i am discarded
collect me along the shore
i am scattered in pieces
that no longer fit together
curves and waves
i am tough i am smooth
i have lived my life in rough waters
water and rock
have rearranged my shape
i am under your feet
collect me along the shore

You're thirteen, sorry fourteen this week
You think you know the world, have it figured out
You think you know yourself, without a doubt
Let me tell you some things I learned when I was about your age
I learned how to go from popular ***** to no good freak show
Nothing but an ipod every day at lunch, no friends, no food
I learned that I had addictions that I didn't know even existed
I learned how badly I wanted attention from his hands, his mouth
I learned what it like to be violated in the worse most degrading way
I learned how to get high
I learned that the intentional pain I'd always caused could be
A harnessed tool to cope by
I learned that if I stopped eating altogether no one cared
I learned what it was like to think you loved someone
I learned that I liked girls
I learned what girls could taste like, feel like -- what I could feel like
I learned that I didn't like girls
I learned what it's like to have people spread rumors about you
I learned what it's like to try to drown yourself then feel guilt
Guilt about your little brother who would have no idea why
You little *******, it wasn't long after that the violence between us started
You're big enough, strong enough to do damage on the family pet
I'm the family pet, you think you know but you don't
You've been calling me names for years
But you don't know how true they are
You think you love her -- you don't know love until you're nothing
When you're nothing and this skinny little kid everyone hates saves you
This annoying as hell kid who shows you that
The world isn't as dark as you thought it was
This kid who loves you not for ***, not for bragging rights, but because
He sees this skinny little bird who lost her feathers and her wings
And is waiting to die and he thinks she could be beautiful
She thought she knew who she was before but he helped her find it
Soon you'll be fifteen
When I was fifteen I couldn't find my skinny little kid, he'd changed
Not for the worse but away from me
I fell into old habits
And new ones
Deadly ones
I changed back into the addict, not eating, not sleeping, sniffing, watching, cutting, stabbing, nothing
I covered myself in laughter, hysterical and crazy
I became quiet
I fell apart more because of guys, complete ******* guys
Like you're turning out to be
Don't think you know everything, that you're an angel
Because I was ****** up at six because of what they did
You were ****** up at four because of him
Both were accidents, but as you can see in me from six to seven
To nine to eleven
To when I was your age, all that happened was
I got ruined because of the secrets
The ones no one can know
The ones that when crossing paths with the world **** you inside
You can't see that yet
You aren't aware that you're broken
Now you're **** well old enough to
Wake Up

Hearts don't beat
No
A beat is something steady and understandable
Hearts don't beat
They pound and knock and shake us all
They cause us to trip, lose grip, and fall

I'm sorry* your inbox is all me
I'm sorry I'm so **** needy
I'm sorry I'm afraid of everyone leaving
I'm sorry I say yes and then I say no
I'm sorry I beg you to stay then I go
I'm sorry I'm the sun then the moon
I'm sorry I'm so confused
I'm sorry I'm addicted to abuse
I'm sorry I hate being used
I'm sorry  I'm toxic
I'm sorry  I'm me

Never grow up, take me away
To a distant Neverland
Where it's carefree, day to day
No need for an education
Or all these institutions
I want to run free amongst
The trees and the shadows
Takeaway structure and maturity
Embrace imagination, absurdity

I'll take my escape
Take it for release
Oh, Peter, Peter Pan
Fly me away to Never Never Land

Don't tell me to stop apologizing when everything is my fault.

                                        *everything is my fault

                                        everything is my fault

                                        everything is my fault

                                        everything is my fault

                                        everything is my fault

I promise to be your
                                          rain storm;
            thunder
            and
                          lig
                 ­           ht
                           ni
                             n
                            g,
     if
you will remain
                  as the
                                             mud  
that
          keeps me
                         stuck.

what am i supposed to do

                 when the people
                 who picked me up

        taped me back together
        shattered and ripped me

walked away
   and never
     turned back

      ~           ~           ~

*cut open
i bleed water
rusty and brown
in myself*
i've started to drown

Lock and key
I have such rotten luck
I try the wrong key
And the lock gets jammed

Lock and key
Was the first ever
Sarah Dessen
Book that I read

Lock and key
One acts as a protector
The other one
Plays the part of saviour

Lock and key
I'm not quite sure
Which is you
And which is me

What are we supposed to do
              with the string of hearts you've united in beautiful knots

Fading out of our lives without a chance to say goodbye

Your smile felt like home
                   and your voice was the calm in our storms
But your storm raged on
                   and you fought for so so long

         I'd like to believe you won anyway

I feel like you're mad at me
But you know
You know how I am
You know that I'm in a fractured state of mind
You know that I don't remember what I say late at night
you know that I have to delete our conversations because my phone is stupid
You know that I can't accept myself
You know that I need someone patient to calm me down
You know that I'm hard to fight
You know that I've been ****** up for the past 11 years
You know that I'm constantly terrified of everything
You know that I am most afraid of being left alone
You know how I am
And I feel like you're mad at me

I left footprints in the snow
Trailing North, against where the wind blows
You drove East and ended up West
But our time flying South was arguably the best

Walking North, you followed me
It was cold, you provided heat
Snowflake-covered, you laughed at me
Time stood still -- it was just us, we

My books you carried, all thirteen
Me you carried North, to safety
You were helpful, and smiling with me
Until public eyes, us, could see

Then my heart stayed North
For in you I'd found my worth
But you left me for the West
(And stopped calling me your best)

Put me to your lips and inhale
Taste me on your tongue
Before you force me out
In a puff of smoke
Watch me disappear into the air
As I swirl around you
Bring me back in
For round two

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to lust
Tied to abuse

I hate the word love
I hate how it's used
Tied to pain
Tied to you

He laughs at me

When I arch my back

Trying to get the last drop

Hey.
             Hey.
Stay?
             Nay.
Okay...

A good day, today was a good day
Laughter and joy came out to play
But happiness can never stay

Sitting at home with a cold
You at yours, me at mine
Texting back and forth, watching
Same movie at the same time

Getting one that said
We should watch together
Rushing to get ready for your
Arrival, pretending it's 'whatever'

Two hours go by and nothing
Tell me later, sorry I fell asleep
It's okay, I love you so much
I only fell apart and weeped