he looked at me
like i painted the ocean blue
like i was the only promise he was meant to keep
like i was the one to throw stardust in the sky and create the milky way

—how do you live up to a reputation like that?

It all amounts to nothing
In the end
Ain't that something
All the fights and arguments
Every day and night
We exist only momentarily
Times playthings
Nothing else
Nothing more
From doorlight to doorlight more
Life cycles
Until we are erased...

April 10 2019

you are not purely
made up of
sunflowers and soft
vanilla candles.
nor are you purely
made up of
stardust and poetry.
you're made up of
thorns and bitter tastes.
you're made up of
thunderstorms and
fractured words
too.

you are not the thorns
that leave your lovers
bleeding.
you are not the
sunflowers growing
in your head.
you are everything in between.
you are everything all at once.

stardust fell down from her honey brown eyes
and kissed the neck of her wooden guitar
and inside her aquamarine gloom lies
truly the most ethereal gold by far
and for every single shaky breath
is worth one hundred dollars to a fool
and for every fragile thought of death
is cut exactly like a priceless jewel
her hurt worn like a 1950s fur
as she licks the rotten fruit of Eden
they rearrange her life all around her
into their own holy flower garden
she, seraph, looks up to the heavens gates
remembers how it felt, plummeting to hate

You illuminate inside my somber thoughts as you twinkle every nanosecond, my flaming star.  And as you'll ran out of nuclear fuel, and burst inside the galaxy, I'll make sure that I'll catch every stardusts just for you to shine again.  

I'll weep every minute just for the sun to evaporate my tears,  and condense it into bodiless and ethereal clouds, for me to conceal you every night,  my sanguine moon.  Even if you'll leave me afterwards,  I'll still wait for your return.  

Even if I will be breathless, I'll give you every remaining carbon dioxide inside my body just for you to blossom with your aesthetic petals, my ravishing flower. And even if you will use that to attract other butterflies, I'll always be your bee that will polinate every piece of you.  

I'll become the saline Iodine for you, my Yttrium,  my Oxygen,  and my Uranium. It's for us to form the most faultless chemisty, with elemental symbols "YOU" and "I". And even if you'll explode with the strongest atomic bomb,  I'll breathe in your dusts until I'll suffocate.  

Even if other people will not believe you like how I do,  and even if sometimes,  you are hard to understand,  you'll still be my science,  whom I used to love,  and forever will.

Spawn of dying stars
Scattered sentient stardust
Stripped of sensation

~j.l.