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Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
True friends do not care
About appearance or clothes
Accept you "as is"
They are not concerned with your condition they just want to be with you for you
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
I don't think I'm up for having
Another conversation tonight,
I wont bother giving you a chance,
To explain again how you were right.

I would rush over to your house
and collapse into a heap on the floor,
But youve made it perfectly clear how you feel,
So that isnt an option anymore.

What do you think will happen now?
Will every problem disappear?
I'm not sorry for being who i am,
Just for the mistakes I've made this year.

I can't go back and relive the past,
I can't change the things I want to undo,
I can only hope i meet someone,
Who means as much to me as you.
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2022
I will spend as much time necessary
Whole life if that is how long it takes
Missing out on things while you miss me
You are worth longing
Persistence
Heartaches

My formless fear grows in size each day
It lives inside
Keeping cursed
Moment is coming for you to be taken away
If it was me I have faith you'd stay through the worst
Written 3-22-20
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
I know we have problems
And I know we are scared to say
Everything we see before us
In a state of disarray

When people ask if we are together
Tell them that we're not
Wake up every morning sad
My stomach in a knot

Sky heavy on shoulders
Cloudy or sunny and bright
Hope that we could be happy
Living a dream that's not quite right

Do you love imperfections?
Do you pretend they are not there?
Say that is what makes me special
Question if you're really aware

I get chills of fear imagining
Future without your embrace
Are you going to be the same in five years?
Will souls still interlace?

Insecurity blows my brain up
Skull expands, it bursts
When you've done nothing wrong
Still endure my worst

You do not deserve it when I explode
Hit by shrapnel, hurtful remarks
Justify my careless words by bringing up
Past indiscretions and own defined marks

The infinite acts of betrayal
Your indifferent selfish attitude
The reasons I lash out in anger
Often say things that are rude

I do not mean to hurt your feelings
I attempt to communicate
Thoughts softly falling in my head
Failing as they accumulate

It seems issues are too big
Too powerful and great to solve
Yet we keep waiting with the foolish belief
One day they will all dissolve

But until that time arrives
I will continue this back and forth game
We make mistakes. Forgive. Repeat.
Both of us are equally to blame
I am trying to take responsibility for my half of the issues we are facing
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
Loud thunder booming
Sky crowded with large raindrops
One and a half storms
More than just a storm
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2021
If you remove darkness inside me how much matter would remain?
Would it be a clean break or would that shadow leave a stain?
The antiques passed through generations only weigh me down
Heirloom weakness and shame parents wore as crowns
Would bring all the way till I crossed the finish line
Their weight is making progress steadily decline
Yet when I try releasing find their grip is way too strong
Have no other choice but drag these heavy burdens along
I fear limbs decay the more time that passes by
Friction wearing holes in flesh
I can't sever ties
A broken soiled reputation all I've seemed to gain
Blessings one by one like drops of water swirled the drain
Under layers of appearance is a piece of myself I rightly hate
Seems to be too large to safely amputate
These cheap thrills have gotten more expensive than platinum and gold
Their toll taken by draining my peace and prematurely making me old
As I held dreams in hand I stumbled and I fell
Shattered as they hit the floor
Hopes more fragile than eggshells
Then clumsy feet only made the mess worse
Every step makes a crunching noise
Wish I could somehow reverse
I never knew growing up would cause me to feel so low
Only when flying too high that I see how far the pavement waits below
The little girl in me died now there's a stranger in her place
Look in mirror and am terrified because the stranger wears my face
Feeling some feels right now
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2021
It sure was a strange sensation
Loneliness struck like ice
There can't possibly be justification
Putting me through this twice

With one highway between us
Never seemed so long
Steel door is locked leading to trust
It is unbreakable and strong

Every time walk the line
Carefully between give and take
I would stand up for myself if I had a spine
Order to clean up messes you make

Fear keeping paralyzed
Cannot move or make a sound
About time I realized
No longer want me around
In blink of an eye your demeanor turns around
Within hurtful remarks self-esteem is drowned
You have the power to make house feel like home
With one blow ease is crushed like walls are made of styrofoam
I long to seal emotions behind bars made of steel
Wounds inflicted by tongue of man take too long to heal
I want to be the person you view potential for
In this room feel the opposite of all you adore
By side I feel privileged being the partner you chose
Pressure is weighing on the roof and steadily it grows
Patiently waiting for me to evolve into the image you desire
Continue striving for perfection but muscles are starting to tire
Pause just a little longer so I can prove my worth
Not only you but also myself
Show purpose on earth
For too many years I have convinced myself I'm not enough
Inner voice whispering I'm ugly because my edges are rough
I see you standing there
I'm so glad to call you mine
A distant star in space you warm skin with your shine
I carry heart everywhere heavy as a stone
Worrying I'll drop it and I'll be left alone
I like how you are a gentleman
Treat me so **** nice
Your touch excited my nerves
Thawing my armor of ice
On top of body
My problems fade away
Long as we're connected I know everything will be okay
Till I am on my deathbed about to meet the reapers touch
Even then I'll have no fear of your hand is there to clutch
I forever will do my very best to witness your handsome smile
May not believe in God but discover myself praying you'll stay awhile
To be cause of your happiness is what I yearn for the most
Whenever we're apart haunt my cranium like a ghost
From gods above to the devils below and all that lies between
Your presence what provides color and vibrance to every single scene
And the meaning I've unveiled since the second we first kissed  
Resulted in realization you're an angel radiating endless comfort and bliss
When I began writing poem I wrestled with a conflicted frustration
Skepticism making it hard to understand your expectations
To reach compromise each must learn how to slightly bend
I'd don a mask for anyone else but for you refuse to pretend
You're the only one able to disarm defenses
I can't help but wonder what it will take to come to your senses
I can only dismiss so much criticism before I snap and lose control
Hate for you to dive in after to rescue me from that hole
To put up with ups and downs I'm sure puts you through hell
Hope my love also feels like a taste of heaven as well
Are the good parts worth the bad?
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I want the same medicine force-fed to us to be jammed down your perfectly healthy throat for once
See how you like the taste
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2019
I wish I could fly away elsewhere
To a world removed from here
Heaven is not found in the clouds or air
That is what I truly fear
Because although this life is painfully unfair
I'm not ready to die and forever disappear
Just some thoughts
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Carrying a thousand mistakes in my arms
Thoughts weighed down by words and worry
In my mind rolling back and forth
Judgement making vision blurry

Surrounding area fades into the background
I watch anything but you
We each play with the other's feelings
A foolish game we both are used to

All my stress becomes complicated
Stretch my patience until barely there
Give myself another headache
Wasting peace on you, I stare

Friend? Foe? Not sure anymore
In your eyes darkness is rising
Love you no matter what shape you form
Any secret identity you may be disguising

I take your hidden baggage
All that I will never see
Welcome confidential cargo onboard
I will accept you for you if you accept me for me
I'll take you for who you are if you take me for everything
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
At least now i know how you really feel,
Maybe I can finally move on,
Although it hurts,  I have no choice,
but to accept that you are gone.

I forgive you for your silence,
and the way it made me feel like dirt,
It must be hard to talk about,
The things you know will make me hurt.

Ive let go of broken promises,
The little things you swore to me,
At the time, neither of us knew,
That this is how it was going to be.

I don't think you love me anymore,
Goodbyes are swirling away with the snow,
I heard youre with somebody new,
It kills me. But at least now i know.
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
We love eachother
At least that is what we say
If that's true why do we have to
Remind ourselves every day?
It just feels like family should be more than people you are required to love
ATM
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
ATM
At the moment you are beside me

As you read I hope you feel the depth of joy I feel every time I am blessed with your shape embroidered to my legs like the most intricate piece of cross-stitch I've ever seen

I am beginning to worry you will be embarrassed to be displayed next to such a ramshackle patchwork quilt

Threads so new and bright

Meticulously placed with attention and care

My stitches old and undoing in several spots

My patches come in many colors
Are randomly placed in a smorgasbord of different patterns

We clash worse than diamonds and driftwood

But I realized being shown next to me only exemplifies your perfection

And something clicks in brain

Maybe THAT is why we're so good together...
If people were blankets
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
My brain clouded with thoughts of you
Want to make them disappear
Beauty that used to color my world
No longer fills my drab atmosphere

Ears are haunted by words you said
Parts of conversations had
Curse my eardrums suddenly
Assaulting like pop-up ads

Pain we felt is written in
The heavy way limbs move
Lines in folds of my crossed arms
As I wait for you to change, improve

Sleeping in a steely freeze
Promise I won't stay here forever
Stars may light our fragile paths
This is the place we finally sever

Put my toughest armor on
Been crying out for help
Swirling thoughts shouting in an angry tone
Crush my existence, make this world Hell

The universe we loved is gone
Our make-believe yet beloved perfection
Walls collapsing, illusions wrecked
Destroyed over and over by deception

The pattern of desperation must cease
Pitiful unexplainable misery repeated
I offer silence as a truce of sorts
Heart beaten, weak, and mistreated

Wish I could forget your name
Memories flood my mind
All the time we spent together was in vain
Crying for what is left behind

What is wrong with my emotions?
The odd ones don't make sense
The beautiful intricacies of my soul
At times are too deep and intense

Drowning in gaping irreperable despair
I think of our unfortunate fate
Cried an ocean of wasted tears
For the person I should hate

I do not know why I'm still in love
Miss days my heart felt free
The vibrant hues giving meaning to life
Your colors have faded from all I see
If you feel discouraged cause there's a lack of color here, please don't worry lover, it's really burtung at the seams
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
The one thing I cannot comprehend
In life continually questioned
Why I lack the strength to succeed
When told I have the tools I need

I'm wandering present desires
Mind lost yet never tires
Wondering what is out there to find
Path overgrown, leaving feet blind

So the day I find the inner compass I seek
Explore areas before was too weak
Breathe and know why I'm alive
I will finally be at peace inside
Why am I so far behind everyone else my age in life?
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
One day will be at peace with myself
Wounds on my heart will completely heal
Fingers and hands will no longer miss yours
I will finally conquer the sadness I feel

I won't feel split open and apart anymore
As though emotions are exposed and on fire
I am unable to put the embers out
Warmth in this dungeon of desire

Soon enough I'll set all seductions free
Stop throwing chances carelessly away
I am letting go of baggage one final time
Finished, flaws far too heavy to weigh

Always felt I was born frailer than most
I didn't feel accomplished or strong
Not receiving earned recognition
Standing my constant state of wrong

Say good words about others
But give insults to my ears
I feel lonely, I must be unwanted
Doubt the root of my greatest fears

Help me understand my worth
Love ugly parts at my core
It hurts, it festers, shame an ever-present ****
Please stop it, my whole body becoming sore

**** concern before it burrows beneath
Destroy it or else it wjll dig too deep
Harness inner power and will
Halt insecurities, then they'll never seep

Say I'm doing okay when asked
In the mirror hate the person I see
Tell everyone I'm fine though I know I'm not
Because eventually a day will come where I will be
It's hard to accept myself because ive made so many mistakes
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
I have become an atrocity

Sure
It's possible I'm being ******* myself
But that's only because no one else ever is

There are people who criticize me
But only my actions
Not who I AM inside
They refuse to see the truth
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2020
They say at the end of your rope to tie a knot and hold on

There is light touching the horizon

But what do you do when your grip slowly slips loose?

When insides of your palms are lubricated with sweat

And the crevasse below darker than a black hole

So much that it threatens to rise up and with one tug take you spiralling downwards to swallow you whole

So instead of making a knot at the bottom of your fraying rope you may as well tie a noose instead
The whole poem was really just written as buildup to the last line
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
A thousand chances I gave to you
Each one you carelessly broke
I called you my soulmate
Now that word just makes me choke

Why do I always fool myself
And believe your honeyed lies?
Falling for the next facade
Before the last tear even dries

Our love is a labor of loyalty
But I carry it's heavy weight
Despite how much it wears me out
Or slows down my wobbly gait

Which requires an impressive grip
So I don't drop you from my hands
When most would have given up by now
My tired frame continues to stand

Throughout misadventures
As seasons pass us by
I hold our relationship up
Even when you hardly try

Your absence is tearing me to shreds
Strangling me with misery
And the cuts all over my insides
Bleed out though no one can see

Since you abandoned ship
Feel older than ever before
Loneliness is aging me
From my surface to my core

Seeking refuge from the storm
Safe haven I can't seem to find
Cannot escape the sight of your face
You're everywhere I turn in my mind

But you have no comfort to offer
Except in dreams and memories
So I fill my reality with questions
Stuck in consecutive reveries

The coldest summer I've experienced yet
Though the sunshine is bright overhead
I am frozen straight through the bone
Even with somebody new in my bed

The beat in my chest sounds quieter now
My pulse slow and miniscule
Death would be easier than this I am sure
But I am not a coward
Only a fool

Running circles with my eyes tightly shut
Wasting away as time passes me by
Living life on autopilot
In a stupor
More like a zombie since you said goodbye
Sometimes it feels like my life is a movie I am watching but cannot control
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
I am not ready for Autumn to fade
I need a little more time
To let go of all the silly things
Keeping you stuck in my mind

I am not ready for seasons to shift
Leaves tumble gracefully down
My heart laden with loneliness
Can't seem to shake this frown

Winter falling fast upon me
Cannot seem to shake its grasp
I could attempt to run forever
And not escape its clasp

I want a few more easy days
Relive another Autumn breeze
One kiss surrounded by color
Before hopes begin to freeze

Ghosts of fall are following
I'm crying out "Please don't change!"
Just like everything else in life
Autumn has to end and rearrange
Change is inevitable
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
Chill lingers in the Autumn air
Sorrow frosts the bare ground
What craziness did you expect?
Me to turn back around?

Time has passed on, or so it seems
There is always somebody new
The pleading in your voice destroys
I can't make it up to you.

Scribbled words won't make this right
As always, snow will bite and fall
Stormy weather still prevails
My back is pushed against the wall.

Every night I lie awake
An ocean crashing inside
Deep with scars I've hidden
And the endless tears I've cried.

You don't see how I'VE been hurt
I'm an outraged, broken mess
And our problems all cannot be fixed
By the smoothness of your caress.

You're better off without me here
Listen to my words, you know you should
In the end I'll cause more pain
Than any weapon ever could.
Very old one I wrote after my ex tried to get back with me when I was like 16. I like the metaphor used. Do you have any feedback on the topic?
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
I reflect on my mistake-riddled past
The heart behind the hurt dealt
Hold back my own frustrated tears
Falling in love made sadness melt

You are the reason why I am still here
I opened my heart to love once more
Slowly changing for better in your presence
Inside I feel a silent roar

I have ached so deeply over physical bonds
I have become so strong collecting scars
Spend my time poorly, throw it away
Wasting hours in bed instead of under pressure or stars

I sleep yet dream of yesterday's mistakes
In need of something that would us both alright
Awake or asleep, I am haunted by regrets
Unpleasant memories keep me up all night
Whst do you think about at night?
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
A glass of whiskey will not stop the pain
Sweet as it might taste
Broken
Too empty for *****
Would be a waste
Alcohol costs money so if I'm still going to feel the pain might as well save myself the dime and the effort to procure it
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
I am holding onto something
I'm scared it isn't real
Is this an illusion?
Is it what you really feel?

I know it is wishful thinking
Wishes don't come true
Every time you're on my mind
I hope I am on yours too

I am waiting for your attitude to change
Wondering when it will end
The moment heart finally breaks
Allowing it to start to mend

Labyrinths have me trapped
In each feeling you raise
Searching but I still can't find
My way out of this maze
You ah-maze me...
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
How can you live with a heart frail and weak?
Adore a small quiet voice that shakes?
I do not know why but you love me,
Even with fractures and mistakes.
Love is blind in all the best ways
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2024
If getting the chance to read this
Every day a brand new start
Don't dare give up on a wish
If what you long for in your heart
A dream is a wish your heart makes ♥️
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Bruises on our broken hearts
Never completely go away
I do not know when we will start to heal
Days seem neverending, the sky is always grey

I will never again view things the same
Cradle me in stories one last time
Let me curl up, build a home in your arms
Savor your presence as it's only mine

Your edges do not match mine anymore
Losing sleep to make shapes fit
Trying to force puzzle pieces in place
Never thought I would be here salvaging this

You may not be prepared to end this just yet
Accept more minutes in time will not repair
Realize at this point in our story
Love is a word we used to share
It just doesnt feel right now. I still love you but I'm not in love
Baa
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
Baa
I wrap my ribs in blankets and attempt to get some sleep
But I am kept up by “baas” from imaginary sheep
I have counted so many I lost track of the number
Yet not one nudged me an inch toward my slumber
And even in the quiet hours foreplaying dawn
No tiredness is found
My mind races on
I am comfortable like my bed is made of bricks
Turning and tossing as the second hand ticks
Knowing I am not going to get a wink of shut-eye
But optimistic enough to try
Close my eyes to the movie playing outside my window pane
Colors changing
Black to pink to blue
Do not entertain
It washes over me slowly
Like the tide rolling in
I surrender to insomnia
Not strong enough to win
I listen to the rustle of wind sifted through branches on trees
And let my brain be carried away to fond memories
It’s not the same as drifting off but it comes pretty close
If my head must remain active at least it's engrossed
I would like to catch some Zs but they keep slipping away
Hands as slow as the transition from night to day
I'm looking for an escape to ease my weary soul
Some sun to light my insides
Darker than coal
My weakness gets the best of me
Drowning me in fear
Convincing myself demons are worse than they appear
But as the blackness inhabiting my room begins to lift
Something stirs my senses and I feel a distinct shift
I forget all the obstacles in the way of my rest
A weight is no longer pressing on my chest
Just as everyone else starts their daily routine
I finally doze and enter a world more serene
The dreams I wished to visit but were too far for so long
Are now mine to live in
Only to me belong
It may have taken more time but was surely worth the wait
When it comes to sleep no such thing as too late
Insomnia can be a real ***** sometimes
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I have been trying to control the need
Escape ruthless desire
Hide fears within quiet looks
Start to falter and tire
For each time you leave my side
Another day crumple into a ball
Try to stand up by myself
Every attempt immediately fall
Way too wobbly to carry own weight
Legs always buckle and cave
Powerful devotion I feel for you
Holds me captive
A slave
When I try to regain balance I just get even unsteadier
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
I am really confused this time around
Why did your love take so long?
Was it because I was weak?
Did I think I was strong?

Maybe I was blind at that point
Now I sure do see
I cannot believe that with you
I ever disagree

I fell from my frail pedastal
Flailing hard, far down
You picked me up
From where I lay on the ground

The crash happened fast
I did not know I had been hit
Until your hand made me realize
Now I will never quit

Should I tell you
My feelings have grown?
More than I say
More than I have shown

You uttered the words first
But now i am unsure
Love is a beautiful disease
For which there is no cure

I think I will take a risk
I want one chance
I need to inform you
That I have changed my stance

If we start over I will
Care deeper than before
Give our love one last shot
Do not walk out the door
An oldie. I didnt even know what love was back then, and to think i wanted that more than anything, that was before i had experienced the pain of a broken heart.
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2019
My attempts to make
You hate me only seem to
Make me hate myself
****. This is an older one but I think it says a lot in few words.
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.
This is the first poem (that I have a copy of) i wrote that I actually thought was good. I was in seventh grade, twelve years old, and I wrote it for a newspaper competition. I knew it was really great but I didn't think I would beat all other applicants in the state in my age group. So you can imagine my surprise I'm sure when I DID win! That is the first time I was proud of my writing. So this one has a lot of special sentimental value. Thanks for reading.
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
I did not think this day would come
The love in your eyes fades away
Would do anything to fix us
To make you stay

I wonder what you are thinking about
How you actually feel about me
I want the most to know the truth
Parts you don't let me see

I am not sure what's real or not
You are so good at telling lies
Pointless yet I am determined
To break your disguise

I love you unconditionally
Always and forever will
If you no longer feel the same
Why continue to say you do still?

If it's because you are scared of being alone
Can tell you right now you'll be fine
Many girls are just waiting for their chance
The moment you are no longer mine

And you deserve the best
The happiness you desire
Should have known that eventually
Of my foolishness you'd tire

You do more than I could ever deserve
From the start I knew
You were far too good for me
Was lucky just to be with you

I know good things never last
So I do not know why I'm surprised
Guess I was naive to believe
Feelings would never be compromised

Our love for eachother so strong
Was all I could be sure about
Despite ****** up things we endured
Connection remained free from doubt

We went through worst together
Lived to experience the best
It wasn't always easy
Relationship passed each test

Now out of nowhere **** starts to change
No reason I can find
Are you growing apart from me?
Scared I'll be left behind

I am desperate for a solution
Be what you need once more
It seems like you're ready to end it
Halfway out the front door

I love more than I ever have
The harder I try the more we fight
Can tell you're getting sick of me
I can't stop holding you tight

I wish I could behave more like her
Carefree
Down to have fun
Used to have such good times together
Seems like those days are done

Stressed under heavy pressure
Both work to lift the weight
Do my best to lighten the load
My worry makes it inflate

She may not nag
***** at you
I bet if you put her in my place
Years of games and illusions
Would not be as eager to replace

History between us hard
It's filled with so much hurt
I understand why it's nice to escape
Hang out with her and flirt

But you do not know eachother well
Hasn't seen your darker side
I'm sure she has her fair share as well
Secrets and flaws kept inside

You know inside and out
My absolute worst
Can be a lot to handle at times
I will never quit putting you first

I support whatever you pick
You want a break to see how it goes
However long you need
Trying people like shoes or clothes

I do not want anyone else
For your sake I will pretend
Don't want concern to hold you back
You are scared my heart won't mend

I deserve to be permanently broken
All the mistakes I have made
Perhaps the suffering would be gone
If only then I would have stayed

I will forever call you my soulmate
If you leave and never return
No one else could ever replace
Your touch I'll always yearn

Hopefully find your way back to my arms
The happiness you couldn't find with me
Even if I give somebody else my heart
You will always have the key
If it's me
That you don't need
Then when your eyes light up the sky tonight I know you're gonna find your way back to me
Amanda Kay Burke May 2019
This clearly is not working
Why do we still try?
Only make things harder for you
Seeing that makes me cry

We are no longer right for eachother
Never can we agree
I cannot accept the fact
We are not meant to be

I do not know why I can't let go
Hands impossible to persuade
Maybe it is not you I'm attached to
But the memories made

The best moments of my life
You were by my side
It seems like whatever we had back then
Somewhere and somehow died

Now there is not a day that goes by
Without an explosive fight with you
Nothing I do is enough to make
You show your love like I want you to

I do not blame you for hating me
In fact I hate me twice as much
I am just mad that you lie to me
Saying you enjoy my touch

We drive eachother bonkers
Put ourselves through endless hell
Still we remain together
Why I cannot tell

Lose my judgement around you
Make the poorest decisions
My heart is chained to yours
Love has me imprisoned

I am so ******* crazy
Because I care more than I should
I have explained a billion times
Still am misunderstood

You always ask me why I'm sad
Answering that is tough
For some reason "everything"
Is not good enough

Persistently at eachothers throats
Take turns being upset
Trust issues wedged in between
Hurt by the **** we can't forget

I do not mean to degrade you
With poisoned words I say
I take anger out on
Anything in my way

I'm not sure how to let you know
How magnificent you really are
I would carve your name into my heart if you
Had not of already left that scar

Not one thing I am able to give
Is deemed worthy of your praise
You deserve a person who is happy
Not part of the time-but always

You seem so relaxed around others
No distress weighing you down
So many eggshells in my proximity
You do not walk on them-you drown

Has it ever occurred to you
That is what I hate the most?
The expression of fear worn when I lunge
Towards you like you've seen a ghost

It kills me knowing I'm responsible
For reluctance in your kiss
I bring bruises and blood to your world
When all I want to bestow is bliss

It isn't that you do me wrong
Failing to convey your devotion
I simply need support when I lose myself
To overwhelming emotion

You tolerate more than you should have to
I apologize if I've made things worse
By now should have learned my presence
Is not a blessing but a curse

I am not familiar with the strangers
That more and more these days I see
I miss back when we didn't try
When loving eachother was just..
..Easy
This one came directly from my heart
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2020
Had a real bad day

That is okay

Stand up

Walk away
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
There are days I wish I hated you
And others where I miss you bad
Your memory forever present
Always making me sad
I can’t remember the last time I spent a whole day pain free
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I guess the timing isn't right for us
As usual fate is in the way
I wish you the best out of life
I'll miss you every day
I wish I would have known how you felt sooner, but now you are leaving and I am stuck with the bitter taste of "what if?" left on my tongue..
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
He went to bed
Clouds in his eyes
Counting the sheep jumping in the skies
Balancing columns high up in the air
Above the world beneath his hair
How do you interpret the last line?
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2017
As long as I'm still breathing,
Alive and somewhat aware,
My heart will continue beating,
Although right now I'm gasping for air.
This is one i started and couldnt think of anything else to but i like how it sounds by itself actually.
Amanda Kay Burke May 2024
Is this how love is smothered?
I am misunderstood
We go at war with each other
Will we lose fight for good?
Again hear bombs exploding
And again smoke fills air
Emotions been eroding
Battle isn't fair
How many times have surrendered
Slipping away from the past
Pulling from the image rendered
Drifting from touch too fast
Everyone moving forward
Can't find strength to lift my feet
Where I am stay not speaking a word
We make-up
Incomplete
Never afraid to say how you feel
You don't like it reinvent
Feelings are not meant to be sealed
Here if you need to vent
Energy gathered great and wide
Horizon bright where we stand
The new storm starts brewing inside
Working it's way through the land
Deep colors found above in the vast sky
Shades compressed into one
Emanating a beam from up high
Outlines traced with sun
Life came warming bodies slow
Electricity poured through our veins
Muscles rested to properly grow
Took eons just for force to regain
And heart discovered independence
Still yearned for what we had before
Longing I felt restless and tense
You didn't need me anymore
Written 2-26-21
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2023
Be the most amazing person that you can be
Who you've always tried to be like
You can inch towards goals little by little
Moving forward like wheels on a bike
Encouraging all the ways I know how
Sure it's not what energy you need
Sorry you feel pressured or pushed
I just cannot help but want you to succeed
It ***** when you want what's best for someone but they don't want that themselves
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
I struggled in the past
To write a respectable rhyme
More I create the harder it gets
Have to put in increasing time
But this is the first time in months
By far the most in years
Inspired I have felt
It's all thanks to my tears
Bad news is I'm crying
That means more pain
Root of excellence isn't sunshine
For me it's pouring rain
Meaning hidden in the suffering
Can't feel good 100% of the time
Otherwise things wouldn't feel good at all
Without other to compare it to
Is no difference between short and tall
I express better in shades of sorrow
Than I do in colorful rainbows and bliss
Negative emotions waiting in my soul
I try to verse happiness
Doesn't come out sounding truly authentic
That's because it's forced
Words meant to gallop freely
Not corralled
Coerced
I suffer writers block in moments of peace
In a way I'm grateful we are apart
Won't lie and say I'm not bothered by it
At least the result is some beautiful art
Going through this breakup has really brought out my creative side
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