Spreading love
Spreading legs
Splitting a bottle of wine
As our bodies are to dine
Simple life
Yet complicated minds
Breaking patterns
Breaking rules
Committing just
Enough
To continue as fools
And I love
Every detail
And corner
love explore
For me to adore

I have a guy
Who loves pretty words,
Which makes vibrant smiles.
He too loves cries,
but doesn’t like the words
That follow hot tears.
I want to spend years
Knowing this guy.
Fear for fighting
Cold wars
keep love alive.
My love is lively
Sprouting constantly
And the wish for it
To never stop
Is craved.
And I have a spot
In my heart saved
For you.

When you know
that you will never
have a kiss from them again
it hurts.
No more body touches
that are warm and make you sparkle.
Glittery eyes
that are all red
from purple heaven.
I need it
and can't get it.
I hate him.
This isn't for him
it's my emotions
drizzling down my brain.
But that warmth
it is something else.
It's a nice glass of pulp free
pineapple juice made with love.
So when it was all inclusive
there were shockingly many non-inclusive things.
The same for him,
he could be all inclusive
while being just like the hotel.
His body became a hotel for me,
and now i'm missing a vacation.

You really know your addicted
when you feel like
addictive you can think of
the sober one of you.
And one has become two personalities
so
"Baby don't smoke today<3"

A free bird in a cage too long
goes insane.
Especially if the care taker
is insane too.
Future plans
spoil today's plans.
An exchange of stones
is a symbol that means more
than feelings can carry.
Wether in the mountains
or on the road
the stone means the same.
Even if the stone's value diminish
the symbol remains.
A free bird can have no stone
but a caged bird has no use of the stone.
Now that is a dilemma.

I felt guilty kisses
one by one.
Continues thrill,
lust at dusk.
Hands found corners
that shouldn't be found.
But deep feelings
made it appealing.
The tipping point
came around.
My eyes drowned.
Sleep, a temporary fixer
that fixed nothing at all.
Because when dawn
came around,
I felt empty and alone.
Even though
my body was well known
by two souls.

Stand tall with a little support.
look down and watch how you transport.
They let you move fourth,
and make life look prettier than possible.
They cause you pain,
and cause you to be vein.
The shoe may fit your foot,
but it can still make you look like a fool.
If you believe that the look is worth more
than your comfort, emotions and yourself,
then I'm sorry to say
you may be a relationship *****.

I have no where to go
when I'm lonely and sad.
Even my mind has no escape.
Go to your "happy place".
I imagine;
big beautiful beaches,
boats at the bay,
star skies in the dessert,
waterfalls and rainbows
and the sun setting then rising.
No, no, no!
They are imaginations,
they don't work.
I get nothing out of this
so called "happy place".
They don't make me happy
and from now on
I want it all to be real.
No imagining, my happy place
should be as real as
slavery, homophobia,
climate change and racism.

We are told to be different.
While we despise different.
This is what I call hypocritical.

Different has big round curves
or slim bone waists.
Different has curly black beautiful hair
or nice strawberry red locks.
Different is expressing everything
or nothing at all.
We don't decide our different
but we can learn to love it.

We makeup by caring kisses.
They never lead anywhere
and they are not meant to be.
We used our time without care,
I cried like it was spilt milk.
Our kisses slowly lead to a break
followed by more careless kisses.
What was supposed to fix the broken
broke it more without thinking twice.
And we lived happily ever after.

I don't want to sound silly,
but these poems are therapy.
Silly words written down
seems better than a human
made of flesh and blood.
I don't want to talk it out
and I don't want to explain why.
But these poems are better
than any therapist you can buy.

Crazy chaos going on in my mind,
I promise one day I will leave it behind.

Slimy, sticky sea monster.
I would never use those
harmful words against you.
I love you too much to do so.
But you live underwater,
so you don't hear me say that.
You start listening to others
and you expelled me from your waters.
I beg for you to pop your head up
use you pearl eyes,
look into mine.
All you see is a dessert,
even though tears are dripping
down, down, down, my gown.
I dressed up just for you.
Now please let me back into the water,
for I am you daughter.

I hop on and off,
just like my mood does.
It's quite empty in sound,
only the hissing of the wheels
is present in my ears.
I observe the flash of lights
count them one by one.
Making me realise
that's not all I count.
Life has been traced
from number to number.
But it's the countdown
for a vacation, paradise,
freedom with no walls.
I wish the count would end
because, my dear friend,
my wish is to die
even if I don't know why.

I hate the empty feeling
I sometimes get
when I hear your voice.
I see you waiting for an answer
that I don't want to give.
I get angry at myself
and then at you.
How could you let me
leave without saying goodbye.
How could you let yourself
let me be in this mood.
Why won't you insist on me
staying and talking to you.
Will you please tell me to stop
and love you.
I need you to tell me what to do
for otherwise I'm just going to be cruel.
I don't want you to act
like it doesn't bother you.
For I see it does
and I know it's because
it's not normal to be like this.
So hopeless, angry and empty

Hate has the same eyes as yours,
brown and tender.
They carry the same look
as if I was everything wrong with the world.
Hate has the same movement as you,
slow and swinging from side to side.
Careless and judged
by everyone who lays eyes on you.
Hate feels the same as you,
burning feeling of anger
but with passion and care
deep beneath the skin.
Hate has the same hair as you,
short and greasy,
which sticks to my hands as I brush through
the brown locks.
Hate looks like you,
but I don't mind it.
Because I admit
I love looking at you.

Undone sentences
that die between lips.
Soft skinned cherry  
lips bitten by teeth.
Searching for sweet
and sour company.
Pleased by pain
and haunted by time.
Ticking clock in the night
recalling sunshine
landing on hips of gold.
Melting beauty
upon the sheets.
Mirror, mirror on the wall
where's the perfect lips of them all?

Smoke from your mouth
form captivating clouds
accompanied by light
sentenced love promises.
Gruesome coughs
of heart broken bones.
I wish it could be you and me
sitting in a tree.
Perhaps a peach branch
can hold us up.
And you can take a bite
of my fresh fruit
that I kept just for you.

I'm tired.
Not that tired
which makes you stay in bed.
But the one that
makes you wish you did.
I think about life
and the value it has.
It can be worth more
than diamonds and gold.
Or it can be worth less
than coal.
I chose the second option
because I'm tired.
But if I rest my life,
put it on hold
and let myself breath,
I could make life more valuable.
Yet, I wish I was in bed
and sometimes I'm guilty
of wishing I was dead.

You ask me how
I will do it.
I never told you
but I will slit my throat
in front of the person
that anger me the most.
I wanna see blood, red
and frighted eyes.
Scared for life.

I shake my head
and think.
Is it right?
Do I really not want to?
Or am I just overreacting.
I should want it
to be right now.
Otherwise when?
I bite my lips
making the wrong signal.
Did I ask for it?
I ask myself.
No I think
without believing.
The classic thought
of blaming myself.
But I should not.
Should I?
I wonder some more,
giving it more time.
I feel pulling
and I feel myself say no.
But nothing comes out
my wet lips.
And I just shake my head
hoping it will come across
as a no.
But it took to long
and he took it wrong.

My head
just above water.
All alone
in an open ocean.

My thoughts
just acceptable by logic.
All alone
in an empty world.

On four wheels
and on my knees.
Warm colorful tones
and cracking bones.
Up in the sky
and down to hell.
A trip I take everyday,
to feel well.
Foggy windows,
foggy minds
creating beautiful times.
Pulling the string
that makes me do things
which would make an angle
loose her wings.
She would forget to fly
and then peacefully die.

Im split between two,
good and evil.
Sitting one each shoulder
kissing my neck.
Caressing my brain
one more than the other.
But I will not let the devil win,
I'll hold on to the good.
Until happiness decides
I no longer deserve to be happy.

I paint over
the true colors
that they show me.
But they blend
and I no longer know
what color it is.
It's a mix
and that is how
mixed signals are created.
They are not made by them.
They are made by you.

I'm showing him new
ways to *****.
Try to forget the past
lovers, especially the last.
I let him bite and chew
on my recipe for the stew.
Let the precious events glide
while I sat and lied.
But I wouldn't call them
lovers, as they made me numb.
They would sit and stare
with another affair.
They wouldn't want to do
the things he asks me to.

Your fingertips planted trees on me.
You left a forrest
full of life.
But with no rain
there was no healthy leafs.
So the forrest crumbled.
And I cut the tress down
for I did not wish
to have a memory of you
on my body.
Yet, roots of the forrest
remained deep beneath my skin.
And I will now forever,
if I wish or not,
have memories of your fingerprints.

Slam the door upon my face.
Don't look,
think
or act.
Just stand behind the door
silent,
and anxious.
Wait for me to make a move.
Let me do
what you should have done.
Thats the easiest way
I can think of you
to live a life
where the sun doesn't rotate.
Because sometimes
doing nothing
is easier than doing everything.
And trust me
I will do everything for you.

Bleach my heart,
my eyes and my mouth.
Strangle love out of me
till I scream and shout.
Let my skin turn red,
purple and blue.
Feed me till I drop dead
with an apple from Peru.
Scream at me, scream!
Let there be steam
coming out of your ears
to awaken my fears.
Hold me tight and whisper
till your lips gets blisters.
Beat me ******
roar loud.
Show me that your proud
of the hot heavy tears
that stream down my face.
They are just for you
and don't bring me a tissue.

Get a job,
a husband or wife.
Make yourself comfortable
in your own life.
So they tell me
or would have told me
if they were still alive.
But they are dying slowly
by the magic pills.
They are no longer there
to protect and care.
I no longer have devils
that whisper and scream.
They can do both
but now they are doing non.
And I can see myself having fun,
not caring or staring
into nothingness.
Yet it leaves me in mourning
to know they are about to die.
Maybe if I hold on a little longer
I won't be lonely and then find myself
a job, husband or wife.

I question wether heaven has gates
and if the Devil is their master.
If his fingertips has the power
to leave me out of paradise.
If he will turn me down
for what my mind has made me do.
Is there a reason they tell me to **** you
Was there a reason for this madness,
this chaos in my head.
I think there is but
will the Devil let me in?

Im never going to tell you
sweet candy corn sentences
that make you believe I truly care.
It's not that I don't want to
or is it.
I have this feeling
or don't.

I can only provide you
with what I've given you so far
that doesn't come from my heart.
It's not about wether I want to
or not.
But about my capabilities of letting
myself go.

Love isn't in my world
and I am not going to see yours
full of endless emotions.
I chose what I wanted
to be.
And I am going to continue what
I started.

Hands leaving passionate marks
for a crying nun
that has sinned her life away.
Let her pray instead of running away.
Let her cry warm wasteful tears.
***** fingernails explore
the filthy nuns surface.
Tracing bruises
and spreading pain
from the spanking received
for being too needy.
Forming nuances of red
on the prime target.
Sweet syrup fingers
dripping down the arms
of a freshly dead man.
Defeat for the nun
who now is done.

Eyes wide as space
staring into another face.
Believe me when I say
I've never felt another way
of entertaining eternity.
For I have come to a conclusion
I no longer believe in free fun.
You buy it in small doses
chew it up and swallow.
Come on jump down
from you throne
and buy another gemstone.

I'll cry you a river,
so I can bath in salty,
bright and perfect pain.
Let me shiver from
the words you tell me.
Let me drown
in emotional aching.
Let me summon
tenderness in my bones.
Make me cry I said,
and so the monster did.
Breathing like a beast
so much that only a priest
would be able to save
a nun like me.
For I go to church
and cry for my God
every Sunday
to Monday.
What God didn't know
was that crying means more
than sadness to me.
It means pleasure in ways
that are rotten and spoiled.
It means the Devils hands touch me
without God's permission.
Oh God, secrets are fun
and thrills run
up and down
so much that I end with a crown.
And I don't need your approval
for I've done it already
and I dare do it again
and again and again.
Till I'll make you cry and you'll
be just like me.
Even if you don't agree.

Love bites
for the dark
intertwining with the pure.
Forgive me for I have sinned.
bruised touches
that rock back
and forth.

Save the innocent
or let them feed on unholy blood.
Let them taste metal
in the finest state.
Let them lick off
any left overs
that are both sweet and wet.

Turn them around,
show them new paths
that they can learn to love.
It's not life that deserves love
it's the after thought.
It's the mellow dark
that tinkles and pounds the heart.

Let yourself go,
and show others to do so.
Bite down,
caress and kiss
the mother of death.
For she has risen
and shown a way.

I let you in on my secret.
I told you half spoken truths
that twist with lies.
Because a broken doll
plays pretty until she falls
or drowns for that matter.
Only seven to go, what do you know?

Drinking blood
of sinful
bodies
that want
no more
than a hand
to bite down on.

******* every
last drop
of metallic
liquid out
to taste life
the way
it is.

Splash
a crash
dead gone
badly hurt
maybe one
may die
in a
hell hole
to starve
and be
buried alive
go away
and stay
where you are
leave me alone
and die in
a hell hole

I won't call it a disease,
I'll call it this This instead.
Tired of sitting in meetings
about meetings.
Tired of swallowing pills
stacking up bills.
This is what I live with
and "it must be so hard"
but I'm strong.
A strong woman searching
to be weak.
Using various techniques
to dodge a flaming hot tear.
Because I cannot bear
watching myself crumble
at the expensive of evil emotions.
So I unconsciously chose
This instead of emotion.

Stone-like, steel eyes
biting down the
sweet, polished apple.
Silky smooth skin slithering
on the thoughts of the tempted.
Desire of the improper,
cause conflicts to the conflicted.
Poison awaits,
with 2000 different faits.

"Moving is like dying"
Empty pasts haunt
the reborn body.
Minds collapse and form
new beautiful butterflies.
The more moving,
the more broken wings.
The butterflies stop flying
and start crying.
The hottest tears
for all the years.
The future becomes terrifying.

Diamond shaped hearts
cracking into two
forming elegant earings
for you to wear
once the reaper comes
and invites you down.
Just like beauty hurts,
so does love.

Glaring light
and white
bathtubs.
Steam and
high pitched
melodies.
Running water
spreading warmth
spreading legs.
Silky cloths
for the freshly
bathed human.
Confusion and
worried faces
all washed away
by lukewarm
bathtub water.

Three orange lights
waiting in a cue.
Warm, pudgy and sweating.
Squeezing the last drop
of pure sweetener
down your throat.

Delicious syrup
growing and spreading
on the finger tips.
Feeding the eager.
Melting bright nectar
dropping down the thighs.

Saliva sprinkels
on the piano lips.
Playing chants
of lust and thirst.
Lavish liberation
buzzing for more bees.

The vintage doll in the window
staring into thin air.
Fake tears in a pipet
drip down her face.
Born into original sin
and the urge for it to wash away.
Slow soapy circles
on the porcelain skin.

A made up story
to clear the sky
that otherwise
drip
drip
drip
down water
watering her eyes.

I saw us in that moment,
three circles interwine
in a venn diagram.

Making me dry of words,
just because in that moment
I had nothing to make me dark.

I never thought I could find
what I just had a sip of
and I have never been more thirsty.

It's tea with no need for sugar,
It's a perfect milkshake
and an olive in the martini.

Now you tell me,
for my world is lost.
What am I now suppose to write about?

What will your order be today?
If I may.
Will it be one of the plumb ones?
Or perhaps a skinny fish?
Do you want an English meal?
Or a French delicacy?
What about one wearing white?
Or are you more into blue?
Do you wish for one swimming free?
Or one drying up with me?
I can tell you this
they all wish to be picked,
taken home
so they won't be alone.

You left me in the dark
just for me to know
I was in the shadow too.

After all I'm not surprised
I recognize
you must carry on.

Now that the thunder starts
I might let you know
that you could have done better.

I said things I shouldn't
and didn't say other things
that I should have.

I don't know if I feel relieved
or sad in a way that makes me
go to the heartbreak hotel.

It's a classy thing,
throwing a party.
Meeting people,
social drinking
and for god sake
don't forget the chatter!

Glasses clinging,
as shadows in the garden
move like hungry cats.
Smoke being puffed
which joins the clouds
and dance in the noses.

People often forget
who they really are,
their values
and their balance.
Their mind
jumping off the edge.

Yet, sometimes
another mind
has a deep blue pool
where you can dive.
The water cools you,
and makes you forget.

The danger of parties;
you no longer think clearly.
But even more dangerous;
if it remains that way.
And you won't know
what is to be true.

Until it hits you.
You were swimming
in a pool full of chlorine.
Giving you cancer all along.
And what you thought
was wrong.

Guys like broken girls
because they are no pillow princesses.
They are raging animals in cages
waiting for any bite
of raw meat they can put their claws in.

Not too hot,
not too cold,
is this the strategy you wanted to behold?

In this case
I was luke warm
by all your harm.

I wouldn't say I was drowning  
or flying for that matter,
but you did make me sadder.

Now I've learnt
how you come and go
and I've learnt to say no.

From now on
I decorate myself with white
and wait for you to once again bite.