You love energy drinks like they're a drug
you gulp down the last drip
that you can't resist.
In favor of the rush
like nothing ever felt before
you want more
and I...just wanna go to sleep.
I love sleep like a it's a drug
that pain away with one intoxicating dream
the warm blanket and the duvet
where my meditation
do you throw away the gift of sleep
Instead you waste yourself away
drinking those drinks
with the caffeine that'll shock
You feel the energy
you think it means you’re awake.
What a fool,
as your eyes droop behind the garish grin
and your head aches
but you thought it was the boredom
I’ll take advantage of my sleep,
my head up high
because I’m the one really awake
your energy drinks far away
Sleep is the ultimate friend
yourself into a deep relaxation
can’t find anything better
my love letter
O sleep, never leave
me with your dreams
awaken me with true energy
of a good night with you
is better than any man.
I dress myself in scars,
Red marks cover my papered skin.
I dance around upon the glass path,
The red is dripping down; there goes a “splash!”
Hold your breath as you see my tattered red dress,
“Isn’t it pretty?” I’ll ask, knowing your starring in awe.
So beautiful I am with this cut in smile,
Barb wire sewn on in going criss cross, to hold it together or rather apart.
Laughter resides in me,
Echoing and singing me a beautiful twisted lullaby.
Goodbye the innocent child that once lived in this body,
“Smile so cheery, little dearie,” the man repeats.
Scattered red kisses all over,
Pretty little red dress covers and hides them,
Keeping them a secret,
Never utter out those words.
Pretty little red dress seals away the lies,
Keeping them in disguise, never to be seen.
Dancing around on fate,
Hoping I won't be late.
I have to keep my promise,
And be there by eight, for my date.
I can never walk straight,
So I dance freely, with my little red dress on display,
"Red is a brilliant color you see" I sing sweetly, as I side step.
My dear pale skeleton figure can't seem to keep up,
As another "Drip, drop" goes by,
The clock never stops for me.
Take another drink, and play a song.
Listen to the tatter dress fall down to the ground,
I can't keep up, sadly I'll be late.
Say goodnight my pretty little red dress,
"Sorry to make you upset, sorry to disappoint," I whisper out.
And the man screams out with a bottle in hand.
My chin is soused in the piles of plastic cups
After nibbling myself out, the tables are bused
Onward unlatching, mussed my steady cause-
she was seducing my balance, I had to adjust
She dented concrete when sussed
She saw my incision and continuously cut
She saw my face when her description didn't fit
To be weak, anemic, and homeless I admit it
Now that my leash is leaking out of the tub
I'll remain spiraling like when in cuffs
It's always when the magic hits that blissful fucked up buzz I'm alone in the bar putting up the stools up closing down as usal.
I always have one behind the bar light a cigar just soak in the silence .
It's then when it all comes back in a flood to me .
The faces of those passsed my brothers.
I pour a shot of borbon for them each.
Always making mine a double .
I imagine there laughs the bad jokes and great conversations we no longer share .
William always playing the jukebox that trademark laugh that could light a room.
Bob Warren cracking people up hitting on the women he was a one man sideshow and a old vet.
My closest brother the guy who pissed everyone off and always made me laugh .
We'd talk for hours kick back the drinks and torment everyone around us.
Cause if we didnt fuck with you.
We truly didnt give a fuck about you.
I had burried them all as alone now i stand .
The smoke hung in the air as i saw them all and for a moment i wasnt alone.
It always hit hardest on nights like these .
The women will all leave you .
Love is a fire that burns beyond are control.
But the memories are the tressure bury them deep only to dig them up when you are alone .
I drank each shot as one by one they vanished from sight.
I do not believe I can bury another .
I guess in all truth I hope the next is me..
I closed the door locked it behind me the air outside was frozen.
My breath shown on the walk home.
I was alone .
Sometimes the page is far more simple than reallity of this existence.
I'm glad to have shared one last round with friends .
We can write the ending.
But life always seems to see it a different way.
And then it happened.
I came face to face with my ex.
Not much has changed from the last time we spoke.
When I was younger there use to be a sense of grief.
That somewhat odd feeling that overshadowed everything good in my life.
Suddenly watching the clouds go from bright white to a dull gray.
I hated thunderstorms back then.
I'd like to think that I've learned a lot sense then though.
Watching her eyeball me with a sense of curiosity.
Slowly learning the fact that I seemed to be doing a lot better without her.
You know those looks that reveal a lot without so much as a word being said.
She had plenty of those, often catching herself in mid sentence.
Her naturally low cut eyes now lower.
I wouldn't actually describe her as being a addition or nowhere close to a binge.
But more so one of those random nights you get hammered and wake up the next morning trying to figure out what happened.
No not at all. Again I am being modest.
If anything she was one of those drinks with a acquired taste.
The kind of drink someone offers you in attempt to try something new and though it tastes bad you still drink it out of generosity as it was a kind gesture.
Not at all stating that she was a bad person. No she was very sweet.
In fact I am glad that I had opportunity to bump into her again.
But a lot of time has elapsed sense then.
And seeing how time works I am no longer the same person.
Though I must admit,
First seeing her I was a bit puzzled, as those dark clouds that normally follow were nowhere to be seen.
Nor the crackling of a long drawn out bolt of lightening.
Both probably caught in traffic, Arguing over which came first.
If anything, she knew I had a high tolerance as far as drinks are concerned.
But again I am being corrigible.
Yet, this time I didn't miss the exit sign on my way out the door as normally I'd walk pass it twelve times, mistaking it for something else.
In a strange twist we neither dismissed each other nor omitted each others presence.
I walked out the door, while she was busy finishing what was left of her fiancee
Yet again this is a surreptitious Eve
Chateau Ste. Michelle bottle in hand
Frigid winds cool my sore beaten self
Monstrous thoughts disappearing like sand
Atop sooty roof I'm slouched in dark blue
Chugging bottle's of venom with harsh lust
My soul is worn down so much farther today
Forgetting my woes is a must
She ended are chapter and i started the page pouring the soul in the cracks of a illusion .
Covering over are truths to erase are lies does the sunset hide all its beauthy?
Do rains flood lands to bury the wrongs once shown clearly as scars bleached by sun now decayed within darkness.
You can never own a moment claims of the vain are but attempts to hide the harsh reality.
I never let her see through my eyes as i will not allow you to know the man beyond the page.
Whatever you imagine is far more than what i will ever be .
Leave me hollow to fill in the expectations .
I wrote her out
she walked away
The story is a creation .
Life inspired me in some other way.
Nothing hides your pains better than a simple mystery.
She read my words when at that moment she abandoned remorse.
Art is best veiwed from a distance.
Edges best remain sharp .
And the reader a excepted intrusion.
Nobody wins today
We cast aside what gathers in are way.
People consuming souls speaking hollow truths to half empty minds .
The best is left for last and me I'm simply somewhere in between.
Madmen preach as the ignorant run the show .
I can tend the fire but no longer can I sit and hold your hand.
The truths a harsh existence I thrive best in solitude than sharing my comforts in a sea of people just as fucked up as myself.
We cannot stand together when we all think apart.
The lies have turned are minds inward left are eyes jaded to see the threat that exists .
No virtual environment will plague my existence .
As the road ahead forks and we were long since parted so lets not pretend we care for it was in the cards all along.
A walk through the cemetery as cold winds approach .
We were never here to begin with and your dreams a illusion of the
downside of a bad trip to begin with.
Fuck what they will think!
For shackles of any kind are for the weak .
And my wounds will bleed till they heal or simply keep
me company till I die .
I shut the door long before you said another word .
This was are goodbye .