Please listen to me now
Can’t you try to hear?
Instead you just block out my sound
Stick your fingers in your ears
Singing, “la la la”
While I crescendo to a shout
In your head I’m just a whisper
In my ears I’m screaming out
Begging please, please, spare a moment
And perhaps I waste my breath
All I wanted was attention
Not to fight you to the death
So listen to my voice
And maybe you might see
Beneath the smile and poise,
The person that is me.

The moat where we keep watery fowl
afloat feeding them cracked corn
scattered from our parapets.
Repaired the dry rot in the gate, got the
drawbridge working, again…it rusts.
There is dust, makes us sneeze.
Stumble over stones, look at masons
askance.  Threaten grain withholding
(hint:  barley) unless they
make ‘em flush.
How fun to keep
the keep
shiny.

Does anyone else ever feel like
No matter how loud you scream
It seems that no one speaks the same language.

You spend countless days
Pent up in a contained part of your mind
Careful not to let any light in

Hoping someone will listen to your cries
But not quite ready to share your pain

You hope that someone will just look at you and know
Because talking is so hard
Words become slurred
Your eyes will fill with tears
Just from the anxiety of thinking
"Where do I begin?'
"How much do I reveal?"

Don't you just feel like rolling over
And fading out of the stitch of the universe
It would be so much easier
"Don't think." You whisper.
"Just keep still your breath, and go to sleep."

I FREAKING LOVE POETRY. i don't care that the boys snicker about me behind my back because i was writing verses on the top of my math binder. i don't care that my friends call me overdramatic for it, don't care that everyone forgets to support my endeavors until it concerns them don't care don't care don't care

2. LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MAKE YOU SELFISH. my love, it's necessary. it's okay to look in the mirror and think you're pretty. it's okay to put on makeup because you like the way it looks, or wear nothing on your face at all. it's okay to wear a dress because you know it's your crush's favorite color, but it's also okay to dress up for yourself. wear what you want, do what you want. **** **** up.

3. SHOOT YOUR SHOT 2018. go for it. go for him, go for her. take a risk. the worst thing they can say is no! and if they say no, you get the next best thing... closure and the ability to move on! release your fears like a truckload of bricks and let yourself learn to love.

4. YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST. YOU, YES YOU. life is freaking hard. it will kick your ***. but the question you need to ask yourself is will you get back up? there are dark days. i won't deny it, there are days when the rain won't stop pouring and you'll be drowning in it. but then, one day, the rain will cease and the sun will shine again. it may seem like a stretch, but one day.... i promise.

5. EVERYONE, LET ME LIVE MY LIFE. if i want to be a writer, let me. an engineer? that, too. take the classes i want? yep. hang out with the people i want to be surrounded with? definitely. don't judge my choices and compare them to your own, there's a reason i made that decision and not you. mind your own business, if it concerns you, i will consult you.

what i would give
to see what you're listening to,
to know if you hide behind your music like i do,
let the lyrics shout the words
you are too afraid to whisper.