That Frank Ocean song came on. You know which one. Thought I would turn the station All of a sudden I notice a smile appear across my face. A smile that incinuated forgiveness, comprehension, and a positive opposition. At that moment you were released. Ex you are now an example and blueprint of certain aspects.
Why was I relieved to betray and live up to the negative expectations I fear any partner may have for me? The fear that I could give them any reason to leave or any hurt if they stay. I remember it felt soft and generous to sit on the hardwood floor and finally forget myself. The thing I cherished most in my subconsciousness was that I know they understood the kind of thinks I hold onto in my heart. Plus, they didn't change size like shrinking or even growing, and I wasn't afraid. Until I remembered the person in the next room who was just waiting for this to happen.
I didn't want to let go... of all of our memories of the long lost nights talking of the dreams we'd share to one another of the interest that was once mutual.
I didn't want it to change... at least not into this i liked you so much i couldn't tell you what this feeling is.
But you let me go, and I fell on your shallow ground... i wasn't the prettiest, so you didn't want me i wasn't the funniest, not entertaining i'm not the most colorful, so you didn't see me but you used to...what happened?
Yet, after I told you that I couldn't watch you disappear... and although you didn't seem to care somehow, i felt relieved.
Because it wasn't you that I was going to lose... but just another part of me. i saved my self, and i got away. i truly cared for you after all the things telling me not to... and you let me get away. thank you