I don't know how to feel
It seems this isn't real
Our love so deep for years
Ended with bruises and tears
Now you're gone and dead
Relieving my feelings of dread
No more reasons to be afraid
No more asking me to get laid
No calls in the middle of night
No more arguing and fights
It's hard to be so sad
When what's gone is the bad
Yet, my love was deep
Your future I wanted to peep
Improvements I noticed were made
Can't make progress from the grave
So now I sit here bemused
Devastated. Relieved. Confused.
I was on the edge of jumping
to my fate
but there You were sitting
in the sunrise, so late…
between the rays of grace
sitting and staring upon Your face
You saved me
You saved once again
the false and broken strings of this melody
I can no longer ignore
my heart it felt so dizzy
broken between the waves
of what would seem
like a fast approaching door
a fast approaching floor…
but then I felt
a feather dusting at my heart
lighter than my body weight
would feel in mid air…
it was Your Love, your neverendin’ love,
Bridging my way back
jumping my way back to life.
everything was in its place in my nightly ritual
my room enveloped me with a feeling of security
i had episodes of my favorite show, ready to be played
and my favorite midnight treats all in a bucket
a well-deserved break from negativity, in the safety of my house
but i still felt empty.
see, the only way for me to really feel at home is to
open my closet, reach in its darkest corner
and grab for my only memory of you- a sweater
that's obviously seen better days
but it had your smell, your warmth
and finally, as i wrapped it around me,
i felt relieved.
and that's a problem.
I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep.
And that's really sad.
It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved.
I woke up into a nightmare.
I got sad today
I spent the day reading a book and I based the characters off me and you
I swore it got better as it went on
But the ending
Wasn't as pleasant as the start
And I began to realize
Not only was the ending true to us
But it was coming much sooner than I anticipated.
Once upon a strange sunrise
I got lost and time died before my eyes
I feel like i'm too far from my home
My body now races and my mind roams
I can see my feelings
I can feel my thoughts
Caved into weird dealings
My perspective tied in a knot
Hard to gain control
of which I don't understand
Seemingly an eternity,
only a tick of the minute hand
Unsure if I can withstand the heat
My soul is a bright star, but unmanned
casting a radiance like a helping hand
An uncanny force attracts my waves
into a cave slaved to the dark abyss
I'm moving closer to the grave concave
a hiss of fear followed by a shivering kiss
As I enter, I see my troubles carved in the wall
Regrets, fears, sorrows that I've yet to overcome
I'm appalled by the amount, too many to count,
my overwhelming hate frees my mind from the drought.
And in just the blink of a smile,
I'm lavishly released from my personal dooms
Eager to set foot in the aisle of a new lifestyle
and I sit up never happier to be in my own room.