Sadness, tears of water
Can't I just make them go faster

Tension, no words
Holding back emotions
Hidden in a secret place
Unfortunately, they always escape

But they're not real
And they don't exist
Yet I can't help, I always miss
Your voice, making me feel
Like the happiest girl that's ever been

Yet I cry and cry
Waiting for you to see the pain through my eye
But then I remember
That I'll never get better

And that I'm always the one to cry
I'm always the one to ask why
Just because I'm always the one to say goodbye

When I'm no longer in control
I always tend to hold
Onto the empty space where you used to be
With a strong, painful pain piercing right through me

Silence
Is what you did
Silence
Is what you said
Silence
Is all I get

Begging
For words
Begging
For something
Begging
You to say anything

Time passed
You haven't called
Time passed
I haven't stopped
Crying

"I need you" was all I said
Silence is what I get
"Say something" I begged
Silence is all I get

Did I say something way too honest?
Did I make you run and hide?
Did I really say something that bad?
Or I should've kept my mouth shut?

I wish I understood the silence
I wish I knew what to do
To ******* get to talk to you

And I'm sorry
For always crying
And I'm sorry
I talked about it
But please, I don't deserve silence

Why
Do I have to feel like this
Why
Do you always do this
Why, please tell me why

My ship is sinking
And I can't help thinking
I'm gonna drown again
In the ocean of my tears

Why oh tell me why

You said what you said
Theres no going back

Don't tell me you're sorry
When I'll have enough strength to attack

Yet you talked behind my back
You talked and you talked
Why, please tell me why

And I'm dying
Again, I'm crying
Yet you keep on saying
"Poor him, sad being"
Why, oh tell me why

And you think I don't know
And you think it's all right
But it's not, it's really not
And I'll tell you why

Nobody cared when I was crying
Nobody cared when I was dying
Nobody cared when I had something to say
"Seen" was all you did
"Seen" is what you do
To ignore the **** I'm going through

And I'll forgive, even forget
Why? I don't know

Why. Just tell me why

Think outside of the box for a second
Just one, please
Forget all about what you know, want, feel
Look at me, us with no power, knowledge about any of this

He cares, he asks, he's looking for you, he wants you
But "just as friends"
He fights, he wishes, he's doing all he can to stay with you
But "just as friends"

I sit, I cry, I lock myself in a cage up in the sky
I wait, I cry again, I hope for everything to end
Therapy, tears, anxiety, is all I think
When you just sit and talk to him

You know it hurts me
You wish for everyone to be ok
Yet you always say "it's not that way"
I swear to you he's *

But it hurts, and I cry
And I never fall back from the sky
Because I always feel
That "what if" running through my veins
It's evil, it's dark, it makes me do things
I never wish I've done

So please, one second
You don't know me, him, us
You look, you analyze everything
From the outside of the box

I don't know how to start this
But I swear it's ******* with my mind
Cause the way you never miss
And the way it makes me cry

Why's she always first?
And the way you always seem to make it worse
Why can't I just ignore it?
For her I'd just die for it

It makes me sick
It makes me cry
It makes me wish I could denie
Denie the fact that she's important
To repair your broken comportment

I hate your jokes
I hate my life
It's tiring me
It makes me die

And yet I always seem to come back trying
Trying to keep myself from falling
Into that deep cage again
Where I never seem to be the same

And I love her
I really do
But your indecisive way of being "you"
Makes my mind go back again
To the place I've always fell

And I tired to ignore it
Annoyed I avoided
Avoided my feelings
Desperate to cover the grave
Where I hid my toxic trait.

Dreaming about you almost every night
Forgot about my ex love, and last time I cried
I think I'd be ok in my own fantasy world
Cause they won't be able to even say a word

Sparkles, everywhere we look
Feels like the world is spinning around us
Stars falling down the sky in loops
Like your sparkly whispers surrounding us
Telling me it's time I open my eyes
Realizing I was dreaming all this time

I've been watching you
Holding hands with her
The way I felt
I could never describe in words

Yet, I still hid from you
I looked devastated
And I still do
Wonder
What did she do
To get to hold hands with you.

It's killing me
I swear you're ******* with my mind
Cause just the way you make me feel
Just by looking in my eyes

And then they'll fall off your face
And start admiring your body
But I'm too shy to look your way
I'm just hoping you'd be mine

Swore you were the best and that you really cared
But looking back made me regret some things I said
I know we should've been foreve, and ****.. you know it too
It shouldn't hurt me that bad, but when I look at you-

Said you weren't perfect, I know, I wasn't too
But my heart kept racing just for you
I cared when you said it was my fault
I kept quiet
Being your little secret
Kept in a vault
I admired your kindness and love
That soon enough turned into
Invisible hatred you hid inside you.

I could try to forgive
I could try to forget
I could try to ignore it, but I swear I'm sick of it
All the **** you put me through
Made me realize how much I mean to you
I'm done with the games of
Saying "I like you" waiting for
A response to come from you.

If you only knew that I'm writing this about you
If you only knew that, I still think of it, too
Yet, I wanna say
Thanks for making me feel that way
Otherwise, I would've stayed
Without knowing why
Should I throw my feelings for you away

And I could try to forgive
And I could try to forget
I could try to ignore it and push me inside the trap
All the **** you put me through
Made me grateful for knowing
It's time to get rid of you.

I have a secret obsession,
Which I could never admit.
It's like an unheard question,
That'll be forgotten to infinite

I have a secret obsession,
Like kids obsess over growing up
And adults over perfection;
Chasing dreams that never stop.

I have a secret obsession,
You'll never guess what it is;
But I'm guessing I could only give you this:
You're the truth I can not mention, due to my secret obsession.

The one and only, my life's shadow;
Braided through the strings of rights.
You keep on seeing me like your doll,
So you could copy all my highlights.

Your hauntings lurk me every night,
Reflecting every thing I do,
But when the sun sheds its light;
Nothing you did stays true.

And when the moonlight's choosing me,
In the darkness when I barely can see;
You grow darker and stronger,
Consuming me and my every color.

Regardless how far I go;
You cling to me slow,
Claiming each part of who I am,
Without a hint of shame.

The way you kiss
The way you smile
The way you make me feel alive
Along with what you made me do
Makes me enchanted to know you

You feel, you care, you understand
****, I love it when you hold my hand
You know, you see, you want
For me to hold your heart
In the palm of my hand
Protecting her from the bad

And I'll forever miss
Your hot, sweet kiss
Burning on my skin
Taking me to places I've never been
And I'll forever miss
The smile on your lips
Cause I can at least say
I'm grateful we turned out this way

With all the tears, with all the joy
With all the memories we'll never destroy
With my ups and my downs
With my head up in the clouds
I can finally say
That this is my only way
To love you.

Will you be the queen to my castle?
Just like the moon completes the sky,
Will you be the light that guides me
Through the shadows of the night?
Will you look me in the eye and promise me delightfully
That I'm the best you'll ever see?

Will you be the bead to my bracelet?
Threaded through the string of life,
An anchor of pure investment
Will you be the playful wind that tangles through my hair
That would never let me live in despair
For I've been already there,
Running away from the things I mostly cared

So will you be The queen to my castle?
Will you let me embrace you with my fortress walls?
Will you let me hold you close and never say goodbye?
Will you stay, or will you leave?
Will i be abandoned, like the hundred times before ?
Or will I finally have-
A queen to my castle?

I sat there, drained of hope,
Searching for a way to elope,
Wishing for the heavens to speak,
To let my punishment begin.

Take me to the Eternal Judgment,
To slave like a dog as penance for my sins.
I'll unveil the vices I hid through my skin.
Offer me that tragic death-
Good God, I'll give you my life;
Please demand a sacrifice.

Bring the whole realm;
Find something to feast upon,
The Darkest Shade of Sin;
As I point "I am right here"

There are no lords and kings,
When the ritual begins.
There is no sinful innocence than my unmarked misdeeds.
In the madness and tears:
Of my vivid death scene,
Only in the depths of my mortal coil;
My soul will find its clarity.

Remember when everything was fine
Never thought about you being mine
When I had the courage to look in your eye
When it wasn't scary for us to spend time

Remember when I couldn't take the hint
I found out how you felt 'bout me
And the promises didnt turn out to be-
And then you came up looking at me

Looking at me, looking at me...

A promise ,
One that shattered my trust.
A promise,
That surely won't last.

A promise, one, at last
For I'm sorry I keep living in the past,
But I saw a light, far far away
Now I hope it's worth the wait,
Until I dig myself from the grave,
I fell into, drowned in pain.

I broke my trust,
I knew for sure.
Thought I tried to give my best,
My life was only headed west.

It won't last,
I'll never reach the end.
For the treasure is nowhere I can see,
I'll give away my life for free.

It won't last,
A promise.
It shattered my trust,
A promise.

I'm so in love,
That I feel that I could fly.
I'm so in love,
That I feel that I could die.
Right here and right now,
I'm about to pass out.

I never knew,
I never thought,
That I could ever feel like that.
I'm so in love;
It's not that bad,
To finally not be so sad.

I'm flying,
And I'm finally not falling.
I'm so in love,
And glad that I'm not crying.

It's new,
It's weird,
I'm so in love;
I never felt like this,
Electrocuted at every kiss.

Happy tears,
Happy days,
I'm so in love;
How did you do this ?

Is this normal?
Is this real?
Am I really allowed to feel...
So in love?

I know my friends don't like you
But they will never know
That I'm actually dating you
In my own love show

I hate to stick to hiding
Hiding in the shadows of
My one and only, my fake love

Cause it's all in my head
When my mind is asleep
You're like a useless secret
That I'm willing to keep

I can accept the feeling
Even tho it breaks my heart
I can accept the feeling
But ill never get the answer to why
I am like this when he's with you

I can accept the feeling
Or at least that's what I tell myself
Cause I can't escape tears and the pain they put me through

I can accept the feeling
I'll let it eat me alive
I can accept the feeling
Maybe that's why I feel numb..?

I can accept the feeling
But I would never accept the pain
Cause it turned my sadness into fifty different shades of grey

And I will accept the feeling
Of failing the things I wish the most to come true
And I'll let it devour me
Like I never let anything through
To get to my feelings and to help me keep you

So I will accept the feeling
In order to keep on having you
I learned to accept the feeling
When I most needed to

I learned to accept the feeling
Just to understand what I'm going through
It wasn't nice, it wasn't easy

But I learned to accept the feeling
Even tho it brought me pain
I learned to accept the feeling
Just so I don't lose you

Family
Is what they all say
Importance, dignity, faith

Family
Is what they provide for us
But what if that's not what I wanna discuss

I wanna feel all that love and emotion
I wanna belong not to be cautious

Don't you say something wrong
Or else they'll treat you like a dog
Don't you dare to make a wrong move
Cause they'll always find you accused

Of selfishness and pure indignity
And so they'll never let you be
The girl you wish so much to leave

You'll forever be stuck behind
In a dark room inside your mind
Locked in a cage
With walls, not even imagination can change

And you sit, and you wait
For you to find an escape
You wait and you wait
Until you realize you were the bait
Of hatred and pure anger
Not even you can handle

A storm
Is what best describes me
A storm
Is all I could ever be

Dark, depressing, angry
Tears are falling like raindrops
Directing the wind towards me
Wishing it would only stop

A storm
Mixing all the thoughts in my head
A storm
In which I end up dead

Waiting for the sun to rise
And for its rays to mesmerize my eyes
Into believing I'm fine
And that it's finally my time to shine

In the middle of a storm
I'll be my own guide
In the middle of a storm
I'll find a purpose in life

I wish I were a bird.
Smart and independent,
Free and liberal.
No rules to respect,
No one to neglect.

I would fly as far as my eyes can see;
I would live for as long as I wish to be,
Known to place foot on this earth
For the freedom I wish to unlock.

But I'm stuck in a cage,
With wings I can't yet claim;
Watching my friends fly through the storm,
Not realizing things will take a turn.

Close my eyes
I go to sleep,
Dream of night
Awake will keep
Hopes I can't forget about
Cuz,God, I think I'm blacking out.

Streetlights stare,
I walk around,
Looking like a mirrorball.
I wait to see a sign from you
Yet, I know I can't go through
Every city in the world
Just to keep on seeing you.

Tears are falling,
The depths are crying,
Leaving sounds almost like dying.

I turn around
Surprised to see
Your colored eyes
That made me freeze.

Questions popped out
In my head:
Do I like him?
Do I care?
Do I want to live in despair?
Is this true?
Are you still here?
Just think of all the things we could hear.
Me and you,
Locked together.
Me and you,
Stuck forever.

Hours passed,
It felt like days.
Rivers of words went many ways.
I got to know you,
You got to know me,
Yet my only question
Was left unnoticed.

You get up as you try to leave,
But I place my hand above your knee.
I try to stop you,
Yet you scream,
"Get the hell up from your dream!"

So close, yet so far
I could see your leaves,
Swinging from afar

So close, yet so far
I can't take you out of my mind.
For I am just a simple tree,
Knowing you'll never look at me.

I could see your leaves,
But I could never touch them,
For the million hands I have
Our branches would forever remain apart.

Swinging from afar
Your sprightly crown moving in slow-motion;
You make me full of emotions,
For you are my one and only star

Swinging from afar,
I could see your leaves,
So close, yet so far.

I wish I knew what to say to you,
I wish I knew what to do.
I know it's foolish, I really do,
But I can't help, I keep crawling back to you.

The way you tried,
The way I ignored it.
The way you cared,
Annoyed, I avoided
Talking to you,
But now I regret that too.

I can't help but think about you.
Now my wishes would never come true,
For I gave the wrong impression to you.

And I tried to stop,
But my heart wouldn't let me through
The glass walls that keep me away from you.

My emotions
Always look at me,
Gossiping the toxic traits I try so hard to leave.

They come and go,
But I'm always hostage in the same cage,
Where jealousy keeps killing me and my days.

So please forgive me and my ways
Of telling you to talk to me while I'm lost in my own haze.
It means nothing if I don't listen, too,
But I can't find my words to come and talk to you.

I've done you wrong, and I know it's true
I just wish I could come back to you.
But instead, I keep on drowning,
Sinking in a bleeding wound,
Whispering to myself how much I love you...