color
blank
color
a white sheet of paper
to some,
intimidating
to others,
an inviting canvas
sharpies lined up
in a rainbow
hand picked
and thought out
by ink-stained hands
blank
then a line
what a miracle
the marker is
to create
with nothing
but the turn of a wrist
drag it along
with your rainbow of colors
and create
perhaps a red penciled rose
With few of blue
and thorns of green
or maybe
a cerulean sea
turquoise waves
white froth
emerald turtles
and golden sand
or possibly
a boy
with ashen hair
and icy eyes
rose petal cheeks
and baby-soft lips
create
something beautiful
colors
and dreams
create
blank
create

in the  rain
i walk with you
an orange stained sky
cloudy and dusty
with nothing but grey ahead of us
rain
soaks my clothes
my hair
my heart
yet
i'm warm
and covered
with the misty,
heavy
rain.
and you laugh
and stick out your tongue
and i do
and the sky does
and i walk home with you
in the rain.

i think
your neck
is a delicacy
soft
smooth
bitter
and sweet.

crystals slid down her pale cheeks
tears frozen from the wind
her eyes
they burned
the light
it dimmed
she was freezing out there
standing alone
lost her heart
lost her home
she was cold
it was old
and she wanted it to end

Dragging bodies
Against the concrete ground
Is not nearly as much fun
Without you
To lick the blood
From your fingers
And smile
Your crooked grin

i often wonder
if perfection
is attainable
in simple things
like a rose
although it has thorns.
like the neon frogs
despite its poison.
like the sun
despite it's blinding beauty.
in you,
although all you've ever done is hurt me

i bet you'd taste like chocolate
melting in my mouth
sweet and decadent
just give me one taste
of sweet love
a rich taste
of your cocoa kiss
and your silky lips

As you were bathed in gold
And the whole world shook around us
All I could think was:
You are so beautiful

While you smiled at the distance
And the serenely lit landscape turned into a blur
Running through my mind was:
I'm so lucky to have loved you

When I couldn't look away
And I stared at the most precious thing no one could ever possess
Hammering into my mind was:
You are the only thing I could ever need

my blood

my cheeks

roses
and their thorns
when i grasp them
with a closed fist.

my eyes
after i've cried

my heart
even when it's broken

my lips
when i bite them

my cherry
sucker.

your tongue
when you take it from me
and smile

You love me
or you love me not
Pick a side
Tell me what you thought
What you thought when I cried
Almost died
Love me
Love me not

Running out of flowers
Petals falling
Making perfumed showers
I stand there
In the middle of the wind
Love me
Love me not
Darling have I sinned?

Tell me what to do
So you'll love me too
Love me
Love me not

i miss you
when you were next to me
and you were warm.
i'm still cold
even with
a deep blue
kingsize
fluffy blanket
and cheddar-broccoli soup
i'm freezing.
i miss you,
with your grey hoodie
and your smile
that warmed up my insides.

Walls I've never seen
Floors I've never touched
Slight hostility and indifference
Dance like steam in the air
Blue eyes
Refuse to look at me
My only anchor
Abandoning me
Scared
And confused
I need you here
But you've forgotten
The truth we made

bare skin
separating lips
eyes closing
gentle fingertips
hands reaching
parting thighs
tongue searching
rosy skies
fluttering lashes
arching back
hands through hair
walls begin to crack
curving neck
swaying hips
hands on waist
biting lips

crimson beads
on a pale wrist
blade digging
white-knuckled fist
tears flood
from sparkling eyes
wishing for
a quick demise
a painful love
piercing heart-flesh
lips like velvet
on cuts still fresh
a dream of a lover
of someone so sweet
a lovely human
to make me complete

Wednesday, 9:12 p.m.

I hope
that I'm pretty
I really
feel ******
and I wish
that you were here
with me.

My fragile bones
feel likes stones
aching
and bending
and crying beneath my skin.

I'm lonely
and cold
and I just think
I could make you
so
happy.

i promise
that i'll take care of you
i won't let you go
i'll look from your point of view
i'll play with your hair
and breathe in your air
if you're okay with being vulnerable
i'll let you cry next to me
if you don't think you're beautiful
i'll help you see
i'll lay beside you
while you fall asleep
tracing circles on your skin
i'll never feel
any regret
for letting you in
i'll draw pictures of you
anytime you want
i'll be your girl
the one you love to taunt
i'll put my arms around you
put my lips on yours
won't tell
what happens behind closed doors
it could be just you and i
i promise that i'll try
to make you happy

Your eyes
Ice in
A pool of lava
Cool stones
Against feverish flesh
An ocean
Against the lips of a desert
Your beautiful
Blue
Eyes

the warm wind filled her dreams, while she dreamt of what she was missing
her eyes shined
and her cheeks blotched
the stars whisper a soft hello in her mind.
her hair gently floated,
the breeze playing with her locks
the beasts in her head nuzzle softly against her skull
tired
she watches the stars
guarding them in their slumber
collecting her crystal tears
to make a chandelier
her shadow twirls in the dandelions
catching fireflies underneath the violet sky
stitched together
as a blanket for the night.

may i tell you
how pretty you are
how your smile
is the melting sun
how your eyes
are like oceans
that i just want to drown in
may i tell you
how i can't help
but want to hold your hand
to run my fingers through your hair
to fall asleep with you under the moonlight
may i tell you
how perfect you are
how you make my heart swell
and give me butterflies
how my gaze always travels to you
may i tell you
how much i love you

the shadows of stars
sparkle on your face
mingling
with your tears
i want to kiss your cheeks
and tell you it's alright
and we whisper to each other
in the pale moonlight

You are...
      
             Stunning.

there's something about you
that drives me insane
something about you
thats takes all the pain
something about you
soothing like rain
something about you
that lingers like a stain
there you are
in the back of my mind
every single second
every minute
all the time
waves crashing
against jagged rocks
im falling for you
i don't think i can stop

Anticipation
To see you
Excitement
Overflows
My heart
It swells
At the thought of you

Roses are red
Red as the sky
Red as the blood on my fingertips
Red is the color of my soul
Red as the sun
Red as the man on the street
Red as his eyes
Red as her dress
Red is the color of my tears
Red as the splatters across my vision
Red is the color of roses

her soul was the flavor of anarchy
and he knew he wanted a taste
silver roses and bloodred flame
to win her heart was a lovely game
he kissed her in the rain
and she touched him without shame
he wanted her heart
but only got pain
she played around
with the strings of his heart
but she sometimes feared
she would tear them apart
a flicker
or flame
a bite
and a taste
of her
anarchy
soul.

twisting
creeping
vines 'round my heart
thorns
piercing
tearing it apart
pressure
squeezing
dripping shards
paper skin
ripping softly
declaring love
absolutely falsely
dripping heat
blood falls
breaking hearts
an impressive feat
roses bloom
from seeds of shards
pure love
for you to discard

See this crown, upon my head?
Made of knives, one slice and you're dead
My finger, tracing your neck
Then come my lips
The blade is next
Watch your mouth
And watch your back
Is it love or a heart attack?
Backstabbing isn't really my style
Darling straight in your face will make me smile
Looked you in the in the eyes
Shouldn't be a surprise

Crying so gently.
Alone, bittersweet tears fall.
Making small puddles.

i think
im kinda sad.
mdd
they called it
i think
its kinda complicated.
the simplicity.
it's just sadness.
but it's not.

I look up at the sky and see the moon,
Shining bright, like a lonely balloon.
The stars try to convince the moon to be happy.
But the moon’s salty tears slowly fill up the sea.

my hands are cold
and my eyes are sore
and i don't think
i can take it anymore
my lips are chapped
and my energy is sapped
i'm tired
and weak
and i can't find what i seek
all i want
is to be
snuggling with you
right next to me
but my lids are heavy
and my body aches
im so tired
of making mistakes

My flesh burns,
Irritated by the rough carpet
I kick and scream
But they won't let go
Holding me down
My legs are raw
No one can hear me
Down in this old
stale ***** drenched room
Hacking away
Cutting my hair
With a thin blade
The handle thick
Sending blows to my head
What have I done
To deserve this?
My arms
Are bleeding
Skin
Is peeling
They won't let go
They won't
They won't
Blood
In a scratchy carpet
***** scented
Face down
Feet
Kicking blows
Into my ribs
Tears
Mix with blood
What have I done
To deserve this?

The Crow's pitch wings
Glide through darkness
Cutting through fog
Like each feather is a blade
Slicing the air
As if slicing my skin
His eyes red
Infused with the dripping from my veins
He soars above a paint-chipped steeple
Perching on an ebony cross
He observes the soil below him
Gaze landing on a single figure
The Crow keeps in his sight
A bleeding body
Staggering towards the final resting place
Who could it be, on this heavy night
But the troubled soul of a human
Toppling down onto a crumbling grave
A life soon to be taken
To ascend to the moon above behind him
A being
Breathing
Breathing
Breathless

imagine:

a night colored ocean
vast
white clouds, floating above.
casting shadows along the jagged, watery surface.
or perhaps
they are the silhouettes
of beasts
leviathans beneath the surface
with water filtering through their jagged teeth,
scales as sharp as needles.
or maybe
there are just clouds.
soft tufts of water
above a jagged
midnight
sea.

Cherry on top
Cherry on bottom
My heart is sinking
Straight to the bottom
The crickets say
They are ashamed of me
And the mosquitos take their aim at me
Cherries are crushed
No longer sweet
Rotten and bitter
False retreat
Writing at night
Gives me strange thoughts
Cherry on bottom
Cherry on top
Outside
At night
Is messing
With my mind

I hate when I make you cry
But *******, do your words hurt
I want to hold your tears in my arms and turn them into smiles
Shove them back into your estranged face
Maybe it will make a difference this time
You're not who you used to be
Am I still allowed to love you?
Can I still hold you with my words
Because my arms are not enough?
Hearts carved into my corneas weep with the thought of you
My fingers curl into twisted willows
Affection turns to concern
When your palms turn to fists
Will you forgive yourself?
Will you forgive me?
I don't want to go
I don't want to turn into a memory
I want to be a future
Maybe someday when you finally learn to love
To love the chasm of beauty of sadness that you are
I can drop more love letters into your darkness
Petals and whispers and poetry
Drift into your emptiness until they light aflame at the very bottom
If I could see it from your perspective
If I could feel the pain that wracks your body late at night
The pain that tastes suspiciously like tears
Maybe then we could truly understand each other
I wish my pretty words could heal you
I wish on every star I see
It's juvenile, but a part of me always hopes
I wish I could take all my love and crush it up into a little ball and shove it down your throat and never feel it again

heartbeats
and starry eyes
what would love be
without you
lips
linger
touch
is tender
what would love be
without you

you took my wrist
in your hand
and traced my cuts
with your thumb
you caressed them
and kissed them
and spoke
few words
but you said
never
again

thinking about the way we used to be
and then looking at your face
its like
shoving cotton into an open wound
it's soft
but it hurts
you're so happy
without me
and i don't know why i act like it's my fault
i know it's not
but
i can't help but feel
that i wasn't good enough for you
i miss you
i really do

Whisper
That you love me
With your arms
Circled around my waist
Softness in your eyes
While I fall asleep
In your embrace

I wish I could create
Something meaningful

She was standing in front of me.
I could reach out and touch her.
She refused to look at me.
“Please… Just tell me.”
I asked her.
She still didn’t turn, but I heard her sigh.
“Because.”
She said.
“Because you, are beautiful. You hold the stars in your hands, lightning in your head, the moon in your eyes, and all I want to do is to touch you. To hold you. But I always have to stand behind a fence, a wall of glass. You hold the stars in your hands.”
Her voice started to falter.
“And me?”
She asked, as she slowly turned around.
“I am poison.”
She said as I saw her violet eyes,  brimming with tears.
And she jumped.

taste of you like sugar clouds
your voice in my head, so loud
tracing little circles on my legs
i know i'm not the only one who begs
i wanna draw all over your skin again
make you laugh, sounds like heaven
taste of you like warm cotton candy
see you at the beach, shirtless and sandy
laughter echoes within my bones
how lovely you are,
your heart is my home
love you so, that crooked grin
everyone think of you
i just want to let you in
taste of to like soft candy petals
traces of your heart
scorched on metal
I'd like to sit with you
on those sugar clouds
legs dangle off
our voices loud

in an old
old house
there are corpses in the cradles
and an old
delusional woman.
it's reeks of flesh
and baby powder
piled with blood-stained clothes
a "husband" lies
cold in bed
with parts
from "almost-perfect" men
the floor sags
and the stairs creek
the walls echo
with the cooing
cracking
voice
of an old
delusional
woman.

I want
To breathe
To understand
What's wrong with me
I feel like this is temporary
This
newness
But I know it's permanent
The loneliness
I keep going
but I don't want to

Everything
That comes out my pen
My brain
And my wrists
Unsatisfying
Just simply
Not enough
It hard
To feel proud
When its nothing
But trash

listen to the sounds
the sound of my breath
the sound of my heart
the sound of my whispers
watch the world
as it slowly spins
the fireflies in the dark
the moon with her eyes closed
the shadows dancing