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In-between the notes
I find myself

In the midst of hope
I find myself

In the depths of the dark
I find myself

In the deepest spaces of my heart
I find myself

I find myself
In this beautiful art

When life comes apart
I find myself
First attempt at some new stuff
what the cat understands
whether he knows that he understands it
or not is that in everything
there can be newness

I do not know when he does most
of his sleeping,
but I watch each morning
as he greets the house,
lifting his nose up to everything
familiar in order to remember
where he is

he traces each surface
with his paws
wanders around and around
until he lays and falls
asleep, then again
waking with the same
dedication to discovery

he sits in the same windowsill
every day, looking out
at the same things,
concerning himself only
with the present
M Solav May 9
You want to be manipulated,
you like it this way,
to be robbed from your agency,
to be imprisoned deliberately.

And in the sandbox play as you will,
With known constraints
And known space to fill.

You want it altered just so enough
As to tell things apart,
But to be told where they belong,
Hinted at what’s right or wrong.

And in the new stuff find exhilaration ,
But newness is old news;
Just give them the passion.
Written in May 2020.

— Copyright © M. Solav —
This work may not be used in entirety or in part without the prior approval of its author. Please contact for usage requests. Thank you.
Wedged somewhere between the aughts
In the early morning hours
What is it you hear?
Scatting of a bird
Or the ticking of the clock
Down the hall

The sun filters in, golden
Through wooden slats
Bitter coffee waits to be made
Sweet with cream and
Drops of maple

Home is slow and silent now
In this residual world
Where you rise and work
Busy yourself with tasks
Waiting to pick up where
Life left off

Spring is still here,
Blooming and cool
Soothing to the nervous spirit
You can still step outdoors,
Breathe in jasmine and fresh air
Humming, meditating, on newness

For now you follow a different routine
Connect, find comfort in what is
Around with new appreciation
Embrace a slow morning
And an easy evening
Sunshine and small escapes
To our essential workers and healthcare heroes during this very strange time, I thank you.
I have the feeling
Of not knowing how to express
Any of what’s going on

But do I even know what I feel?

I have the feeling
Of letting go some big chunks
all of them belonging to the past

But can I even be sure they are gone for good?

I have the feeling
Of complete numbness at times
Completely overwhelmed by all and nothing

But isn’t numbness a feeling too?

I have the feeling
Of new things approaching me
In the sense of change in character

But does that mean this is who I want to be?
Jade C Oct 2019
I like you a bucket full
Or maybe a hot tub full
Actually, scratch that––
        a modest pond size full
You know what, **** it––
I like you to the capacity of a whole swelling ocean;
One that is overflowing onto the land.
Panashe Sep 2019
I watched you from a distance, too scared to approach, you promised to catch me if l fell and so l did. But instead of being met by the warmth of your grip l found the cold hard floor. The fall was graceful yet painful, every piece of me scattered across the dusky aged gravel floor. The pieces were so small that l become one with the ground, buried and forgot… so l thought. Did you think of me the way I thought of you, you consumed my thoughts like a fungus l failed to eliminate. I had betrothed my pain but only one spouse was satisfied. And so waited… I waited for the rain to slowly wash away my pieces to the drain and hopefully only then was l able to piece myself together again, I may have been broken glass but l rose from the ashes as my scattered pieces became as ravishing as the crystals that gracefully shined as the sun rays met the fragile yet still alluring sharp-eyed shattered dreams. It may not have been restored to its exact condition but those broken pieces began to shine as beautiful as the infinite stars. For l have become as boundless as the stars, misty-eyed but hard-edged.
Anastasia Aug 2019
I want
To breathe
To understand
What's wrong with me
I feel like this is temporary
But I know it's permanent
The loneliness
I keep going
but I don't want to
dunno why im so depressed
Through growth and the quest for happiness,
I fall back hard when my mind gets too comfortable --
that the place I'm finally in, is the right place.
I got to learn that versions of right and happiness
change every single day.
The universe tends to bring me everything and anything that would help me grow through the situation.
New people,
a different vibration,
and color.
The sun would even 'shine' differently for me.
The light gets too much...
that is the time I have to outgrow the old and welcome the new.
The journey is painful at times.
But the bigger picture is the newness of self that comes with it.
I swear to God,
I'm loving the person I am becoming.

To you,
may you find You in your own beautiful way.
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