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305 · Jul 2018
You’re Own Bubble
Anya Jul 2018
Many people worry
about whether
They are too insignificant, unnoticed, not included
Or too noticed, too many obligations
Too many expectations
Yet when you think
A city
within a state
Within a country
Within a continent
WITHIN AN EARTH
WITHIN A GALAXY
On and on and on
...
Or the other way
A STATE
A CITY
A neighborhood
A school
a friend group
a best friend
Why can’t you make your own bubble?
As big as you want it
Or small and closed tight
You can’t complain for lack of people or space either way
considering our humongous galaxy
And if it fails
Move
Look for new
OUR WORLD IS HUGE AND YOU HAVE THE FREEDOM TO FORM YOUR OWN BUBBLE
305 · Sep 2018
Invisible
Anya Sep 2018
Unseen
Unheard
Their eyes skip over mine
Their voices directed to others
Their ears only hearing others
I'm invisible
In the classroom
In the hallways
Outside
Inside
In the cafeteria
I'm invisible
And I'm really tired of blaming myself for it
304 · Apr 2019
Clay
Anya Apr 2019
And I suppose I am,
forever one.
A wanderer, that is.
With the pineapple backpack absolutely screaming, "she tries too hard!"
The braids, "Throw back to elementary school"!
She searches in vain,
for a space amidst shadows
Threatening, to swallow her up
She misses the friend, she pushed away
She misses the group, laughing and joking on the other side of her wall of insecurities
She attempts to reassure herself,
Till,
it's torn out and something just
cRaCkS
....

A shattered glass
Can be made anew
But this time,
with clay
304 · Jul 2018
Wierd Thoughts
Anya Jul 2018
I have      wierd thoughts      in my head
They ain’t true      but they there
So what do I do?
304 · Oct 2018
Family
Anya Oct 2018
My dad tells me,
don't act like
everything's
set in stone
You're young!
Your character isn't
permanent
yet

My mom says,
put it in
a mental trash can
and get past
the thoughts,
keep
moving on
Try,
some mindfulness,
breathing,
It'll help calm
your mind
...
...
...
I tell my little brother
you're character's
not set in stone!
Throw it in a mental trash
can keep
moving on
...
Sometimes,
When reflecting on things,
they can be so sweet
303 · Dec 2018
Musings of a Tired Girl
Anya Dec 2018
Her words, a steady stream
I tried
To smile, stifling a yawn my glazed eyes wandering over to
Our bookshelf the recently bought ACT prep book aligned with a
More appealing Children’s poetry

“But then she was like”
My attention snaps back to the present
And I smile and nod
Like I understand, which I do, don’t get me wrong I just

May have forgotten to change the towel
And the clothes in the dryer
Oh also, i still haven’t gotten around to that essay
My current average really doesn’t sit well with me not to mention
The excercises for-

“And I was like ***!”
I unintentionally smile, the same story
The same pattern again
Never ending, seemingly
What is this, some sort of drama of a stereotypical teenage girl?
Is there secretly a film crew behind the scenes
A script inserted in our brains
Of this monotonous constant
Unending story?

But maybe if I’m truly unsatisfied,
The fact that I’m
Right here, right now
Feeling it, proves
That I have the capacity to desire change
And maybe,
Achieve it?
302 · Sep 2018
Poetry Question
Anya Sep 2018
Is it better
To have complex sounding poems
With analogies, literary devices, and enriching words galore
Conveying the same message in numerous ways
But sporting a simple ideas

Or
To have simply written
Clearly stated
Easily comprehensibly worded
Poems
Sporting complex ideas?
300 · Feb 2019
Disapears
Anya Feb 2019
I have a box
A nice cozy box
I try to make my way to the
But...I never make it
Out

That doesn’t matter
It’s still fun to try
To push my limits

But


Still in never out
I won’t go out
I. Can push
But I. Cannot
Go out

Because it’s warm and cozy in this box
I know what I can do,
I know,
The extent of my abilities

Why should,
I push through?

You’ll be regretting those words,
One day
She tells me

I don’t care


Fine,
But what if
Your protected world
Just
Disappears







Drip




Drop













Drip









...
Anya Jul 2018
So many people want to be
DIFFERENT
To stand out
Be unique, brilliant, and attractive
like a shining star
So many people want to be the
same
To conform
To fit in and belong like feet in a
snug pair of shoes
But, why?
When one always wants the other is one really better?
299 · Oct 2018
Real vs. Fictional
Anya Oct 2018
I discovered something today
As,
The proposal
Of the main character
Of my novel
Had me jumping
All over the house
In a fit
Of giggles
...
It’s easier for one to get closer
To a fictional character
Since,
You know everything about them

If my classmate
Told me something
In the way of romantic
Matters,
I may congratulate her
With a smile
...
But it’d be
Nowhere near
As energetic
As I am now
297 · Jul 2018
Vulnerability
Anya Jul 2018
Should I
Put
               every
                             little
              scrap
out there
Or
Should I
only allow the perfect to take up the spotlight
This can be interpreted in many ways but when I wrote it I was wondering if I should only show people the poetry I found worthwhile and keep to myself the rest or just reveal everything that came to me. This could also apply to how much of one’s true self to reveal to friends.
296 · Sep 2018
The Goalie
Anya Sep 2018
Others,
Push it in
I,
Keep it out

In other words...
Others, fill their heart
I,
Keep mine tightly locked

With

A

Click!
293 · Oct 2018
Unique
Anya Oct 2018
Unique
...
the meaning of my name

Without realizing
I had spun a cocoon
of desires
around that one fact

The name,
my parents gave me,
either on a whim
or because of its beauty
or meaning
or some other
casual reason
...
I seem to have taken to heart
...
Because I truly,
while knowing
I'm not the only one
...
I truly
want to be
Different
...
In my heart
...
Screaming out
in some of my poetry
My inner thoughts

I want to be different
I want to be special
I want to stand out
...
A little girl's dream
of being
a princess...
superhero-
sorceress-
power ranger-
...
...
...
...
Now,
as I'm growing older

I continue to harbor
the hope
in my heart

But rather,
than be
that young girl
chosen
to go to Narnia
or Hogwarts
or
Wherever else
...
I want to carve out
my little niche
in the world
...
Where I can be me
293 · Jul 2018
Endless
Anya Jul 2018
So **** Endless
The blue sky
about to swallow me whole
Are those really atoms?
A patchwork quilt
So intricate
Not even
Rather
So intermixed interwoven
Just a mess
Just a mass
Including me
Swallowing me
Whole
291 · Sep 2018
Internal Rant
Anya Sep 2018
To go
Or not to go
That is the question
whether tis noble in the mind
to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune
or to take arms against
a sea of troubles
and by opposing end-

Okay guys that's enough.
Anyone recognize that?

Seriously though, should I go to the dance?

A part of me wants to
I'd get to see my friends
share experiences with them...

Another though,
Would rather stay at home
having more fun there

My mom told me I should go
try something new

But it isn't new
I went last year

It was great
But right now I'm feeling mildly invisible in my friend group

Maybe more effort is required?
To relate more with them?

But it's not due to malicious intent
Or anything

I
just
feel
invisible

I have one best friend though
But we're kind of different
It's still easy and fun
between us

She doesn't go to the dances
She doesn't wear dresses
She'd rather play video games
Watch ****** Do
Or read Agatha Christy

I have other friends too
But I don't talk to the ones I don't see everyday much

But I talk to a variety of people as well
At least,
I have people I can easily talk to

Should I go?
I probably won't be lonely
But I'd probably have at least some times
of Boredom

No

Maybe that's why I'm not going
I'm a coward

But

That isn't it
...exactly
It's sort of
laziness
combined with a mild fear
But mostly I feel I'd have more fun at home

AAAARGGH!

Somehow I seem to believe I'll have better friends in the future
Maybe
Maybe not
I think I will though

Plus, at this age
at least in all the relationships I've had

Both sides
Are SUPER self-obsessed

PEOPLE ARE SO SELF-OBSESSED
(Me included)

Alright rant over
(Probably not)
288 · Jul 2018
Appreciating Feet
Anya Jul 2018
A certain little mermaid
wished to have feet
to walk
to run
to dance
perfectly to the beat

A certain gingerbread
knew his feet were key
to run
run
run
and escape tragedy

When a certain princess fled
She would have never seen her beloved again
As the clock finished stricking twelve
****
****
****
if not for her feet
whose slipper led the prince right to her street

A certain large monster
is known for its abnormally large feet
and when one sees its footprint
they can either give a
shriek
shriek
shriek
Or they can flee and not become mincemeat

So you see feet are important
very much so
Whether in fairytales or real life
They allow us to go to and fro
So next time you consider what you’re grateful for
Take a though for your feet
although real life’s isn’t a video game
they are your cheat
285 · Jul 2018
Myself
Anya Jul 2018
Why should I?
I ask my insistent self
And instead of
Giving me some convincing reason
She says
Why should I?
No matter what others say, the only one who can truly understand or at least speak for ourselves is ourselves. Also bringing the idea that the only way to be content isn’t to look for external answers but to be happy with ourselves.
285 · Oct 2018
Swim
Anya Oct 2018
In a sea of problems
...
Sometimes
It seeems
Like I’m the only one
Trying to swim
I know it’s not true, everyone’s trying. But sometimes other’s constant negativity to the point that it’s stifling gets to me.
284 · Sep 2018
Socializing
Anya Sep 2018
How do you speak
When you spend every minute
Scrutinizing
Every word
You are
Or will
Say
Even in front of your friends?
This is not as bad as it sounds, this poem seems to contain more darkness and melodrama than I intended.
284 · Sep 2018
Hello Poetry
Anya Sep 2018
One thing
I love about this
site
is that
it's free
...
You're free
to write as you please
...
You're free
to comment as you please
...
There's plenty of room
for self introspection
..
And everyone here is either
like minded
or has an interesting
new
perspective to
contribute
283 · Sep 2018
Sleep
Anya Sep 2018
Such a simple thing
All should do it
Yet
All do not
As much as they should

In elementary school
The thought of sleeping
Past 9
Seemed sacrilegious

Now,
Sleeping before
Seems
Impossible

11:00 bedtimes
Sometimes just because
I can’t afford to put my electronic down

Yet
It’s essential
A period for us to rest

So why keep changing it?
Why keep pushing it
away?

When
The only
One being harmed
Is
Ourselves?
282 · Jul 2018
Before the Pipe Bursts
Anya Jul 2018
When one wants to express themselves
Do they use words
Images
Sounds
Actions
What?
We all need one right?
An outlet, for when human emotions pile up
And come overflowing through a waterfall
They need an outlet
Either they’re let out
Or
The pipe bursts
And it’s too late then
Anya Mar 2019
aAAAAHHHHhhhh
Insecurity, thy old friend, so much
like Insect,
except you have a "uri" before the t and a "y" after
Possessively hogging my attention
Away, keeping me engaged
Until,
Everything else slips away from me one by one,
               by                     one
                      by          one
                       ­      by
And all I am left with is you,
only you,
And I bask in you, and sink in you, and merge-

...

Insecurity,
thy old friend
For old time's sake,
Just,
Leave me alone,
Or,
Do I have to ignore you?

...

Even though you're screaming,
In my head
Even though,
you have the ability,
to take over everything and anything
Till all that's left is a-

aAAAAAAHHHHHhhhhh
Insecurity,
The monster in my closet
The monster under my bed
The monster-

Or more like-
A shape shifter,
As pleasant as a cloud
Until,
you give her attention

Then, she greedily
       gobbles it                             up

...

And                    
                you
278 · Jul 2018
I like it
Anya Jul 2018
Golden light spills out in between the crevices and cracks
The world seems still save for the slight wave and rustle of each branch conversing with the wind visible to a discerning eye
Somewhere off in the distance a machine rumbles
The click of a light turning off
A voice calls out
Another mutters
Not still
Not completely peaceful either
But not loud either
Pleasant
A sense of comfort
A sense of security
just the way I like it
277 · Jul 2018
Taste
Anya Jul 2018
If you think about it
Taste
Is simply our mouth’s perception
Of food
A label
Way to identify
The real purpose
Is to be broken down
For fuel, to patch up, to help us grow
Basically construction material
Yet
We put so much emphasis on taste
We identify food with it
We have chefs
We have critics
We have pastry chefs
We have sous chefs
We have so many different varieties, cuisines, etc etc etc
Yet, it’s a whole field, a whole profession, a big deal out of nothing
As we humans are so skilled at doing
Yet,
Is it nothing?
Truly?
If you are a chef or love food and are reading this, nothing against you, I did not mean to offend. I was simply letting out the thoughts in my head, if you have an opinion or input please, comment. And if you have something that changes my perception I totally wouldn’t mind changing the poem.
275 · Dec 2019
I AM
Anya Dec 2019
Most of my poetry on here is from 2 years ago
Back when I was
                     - not depressed -
But covered in a blanket of social anxiety and under confidence
which could have easily been mistaken for such

Each of my poems from then
involves the romantic dreams of a naive young girl
searching for a purpose, searching for her purpose

Each of my poems from then
ends in a query  
                          - as if -
I didn't think I could possibly be right
and I was still trying to find my way

Each of my poems from then
involved an intrinsic indecisiveness
from a time when my every word every glance every action
was blanketed and wrapped into a burrito of -
"am I doing this right?"
"what should I do?"
"Should I even be...?"

But now,
It's two years later and about time for me to get my ***** together
It's come for me, whether I'm ready or not
Time to leave my bubble and take my first step
time for applications
I'm not nearly as experienced, wise, nor knowledgeable as I could, should, will be
But I better get my act together and look like
I AM
274 · Sep 2018
Game
Anya Sep 2018
The acrid, rather salty aroma surrounds
me, cloud of it invading my nostrils and tongue as the salty
liquid drips past my parched, cracked, lightly parted
lips as my throat is made hoarse by screaming
with all my might as we score the winning
Goal
272 · Nov 2018
Fish in Pond
Anya Nov 2018
Rather to be...
A big          fish
In a           small pond
Or small        fish
In a         big pond
I've come across this question
a        lot

Whether to be a lead        in the middle school play
Or an extra    in the high school play

To be top of          JV
or to be bottom of  Varsity

To get A's in           regular math
Or B's in accelerated

To be the best         of the worst
To be the worst         of the best

Is a question,
I'm
Still
Grappling             with
272 · Jul 2018
Everything
Anya Jul 2018
Everything is so new,
so much better,
so much more interesting.
I want
to do everything
I want
to try everything
I want
to experience everything
For the time is now;
And I am ready.
270 · Jul 2018
“Selfless”
Anya Jul 2018
When
Your helping her helping him
It’s for your own gain
Either it benefits you
It makes you feel good or better about yourself
It’s someone you love or like
All of these are for yourself
There is no “selfless”

But

Neither is it selfish
People connotate
selfish
With bad
It doesn’t have to be
Why should we
Do something if we have no motivation?

Motivation
Comes from
Us having some stake
Some benefit
Something to gain
Some reason to act
To speak
To behave

So it’s not selfish
I the cynic would say,
Nor is it selfless
There is no such thing
It’s simply the cogs and mechanics
That turn
And enable us to act
Speak
Behave
Work

Because why would we do anything without a reason
even if that reason happens to be boredom
or curiosity?
266 · Jul 2018
What we don’t Have
Anya Jul 2018
I am no celestial
I have no wings of gold
But
Rather than focusing on what we don’t have
What do we?
265 · Oct 2018
Makeup
Anya Oct 2018
Throwback to middle school
We were dorks
Who didn’t care

Now,
We do
And they try
I don’t
I’m
Just
Lazy

There’s all that
“The best smile is natural”   But people
Still wear it
Even when they         Preache


Now,
There’s nothing wrong
Makeup,
Highlights certain
Features
Gives a new look
Cleaner
Prettier

And aesthetics
Are valued
In our
Society

But
Is it I sign
Of insecurity if it’s
Worn every day?

Or is it just like
Clothes
Wear whatever
You want
And shape your
Identity?

I don’t
Want to judge
I don’t mean
To judge
There’s no need
To judge

They only reason
I don’t wear
It is
Because
I’m
Lazy

Is it really though?
Or is it,
That I don’t care?

Our society has
An obsession     With
“Natural”
And
“Beauty”


Which one matters more?
I guess...
It’s up to the
Individual
261 · Sep 2018
Write or to Read
Anya Sep 2018
Do you rely on this website more
To write
Or to read?
...
Equally?
259 · Jul 2018
Resentment
Anya Jul 2018
Lives inside
      A monster
Picking at
      everything new
Pointing out
       everything wrong
With your life
With them
With you
259 · Jul 2018
Point of Life
Anya Jul 2018
I think it’s silly
And maybe I’m cynical
To wonder
Because to me
Life isn’t a gift
Life isn’t a right
Life isn’t a chance
given to us
The universe was just so
For it to happen
And it did
Weather we are lucky
Or not
One can decide for themselves
But as for me
I don’t want to think of those useless things
It did happen
So I’ll make of it what I will
Do what I want
Short term
Long term
Whatever the case
Not for others
Not for some possible entity living above
But just
For
Me
257 · May 2019
My Mother
Anya May 2019
“Sweetie”
The nickname given to my mother from her mother in law
Truly a befitting one
My mother, the woman who tries so hard, intelligent, yet still, occasionally a child
A strong, strong woman
Trying to accommodate everyone

Thankfully our move has provided some much needed personal space
Otherwise, she’d already have her hair out by now

Her parents with their obsessive religious rituals, must make sweets tomorrow even when they get wasted
Must prepare...
Must...

Her mother in law, dripping waves of anxiety like a leaky faucet
Soon to become a waterfall

Her husband,
Weak as a newborn chick
From surgery and culminating stubbornness about to explode

Her 10 year old truant son,
Not only does he need to be shuttled places
Also insists upon watching YouTube at every available hour

And me,
Her daughter
At least I can drive and stay out of her way
At least I can provide hugs, be a listening ear, and do my best to be considerate
But my rebellious nature
Peeks through as well

...


Wow
She’s amazing,
my mother is.
Anya Sep 2018
I know him from Debate
I know her since we share a similar name
I know them from playback theater
I know him from the musical last year
I know her from squash
I know them from my old school
...
You may think I'm a social butterfly
But,
that's not the case

I know him being, 'I know he's very polite but easily argumentative from my one word interactions with him and he's dated one of my friends'

I know her being 'I've heard of her from others who confuse our names but I've never really spoken with her except for exclaiming over our names'

I know them being 'I came to the meeting and listened quietly eating bagels as they spouted all the ideas'

I know him being 'my friend talked to him and I was there, we had to **** each other during one of the acts'

I know her being 'I finished my squash match early and watched her play hers'

I know them being 'they knew me as the shy girl who likes to read, I know them as people I inevitably talked to during school activities in our small grade'

It's unfortunate
really,
when I think

I could be great friends with these guys
If
I
only
stopped
being
so
self
conscious
255 · Sep 2018
Natural Reaction.
Anya Sep 2018
When a person is
Caught off guard
Is their natural
Reaction
Fight
Or flight
...
Or freeze?

Sometimes,
One can play it innocent
Diffident
Flight
Backing off
Easily

Other times
One could play it cool
There’s nothing
Wrong with what I’m doing
And I ain’t moving gurl

Then, there’s the freeze
Just stop
Stutter
Or don’t even speak
Um’s and
Uhhh’s
Leading
The other
To come to their
Own conclusion
...
So, which one do you do
Flight
Or fight
...
Or freeze?
254 · Jun 2018
Self-Deprication
Anya Jun 2018
Third wheel
                             Extra
                                                    Discarded
                                                                          Trash
                                 Time to pull out the self pity
Wrap it around myself tight.                                    
                               A snug cocoon
A supposed shield                      
                                                   Suffocating me unnoticed
From the inside.                

...


Till it’s too late
254 · Jul 2018
In
Anya Jul 2018
In
I sit there,
with them,
No longer alone
IN
as they chatter
And when she asks me
I nod in agreement;
not really paying attention
A secret smile playing across the corner of my lips
Because I am IN
253 · Sep 2018
I’m so Lucky
Anya Sep 2018
I’m so lucky
I’ve heard that
And there are times
It doesn’t need to be said
But I guess what I really
Need to think about
Is
How can I help others be lucky too?
Anya Sep 2018
Some people like my poetry
And
when I realize that
it's like a little
shock
to my system
...
Because,
it's literally my thoughts

Slightly filtered?
Yes

Extra line breaks
to gain the
impression
I require?
Yes

But, it's still basically

my thoughts
And people seem to
actually find
it
i n t e r e s t i n g
...
Although,
this is surely
the case with
many poets
If
not all
..
I'm sure,
plenty
of the ones I read

...

It's really
amazing

How we are able
to appreciate
each other's
thoughts
despite

Similarities
...
and
differences
250 · Jul 2018
So Soft
Anya Jul 2018
I know I should
get up
and do the ten thousand things
on my bucket list
But it’s a summer day
and my couch is
so soft
246 · Sep 2018
Memories
Anya Sep 2018
Today I was looking through my old works
Searching
For a hidden treasure
A diamond in the mud
Or even
A pliable piece of wood
Maybe not a prize in itself
But
Potential
Or something quite ordinary
But hiding secrets within
Of emotions
Memories
Thoughts I never knew I had
Something
Anything to excite my senses
And to give me a sense
That it
was worth it
240 · Jul 2018
Time
Anya Jul 2018
Summers day
Soft white couch
Feathers make me sneeze
As the birds make their morning calls
The taste of time
So sweet
236 · Feb 2019
Can I do
Anya Feb 2019
Acedemics, I have some
Control
Art, they say I’m good
They say I’m smart
Acedemically

What if the world was controlled by
Athleticism?

Or,
Social skills?
Which it partially is


But,
I’m smart
I’m talented
I tell myself
Yet-

There’s so much-
I keep myself from
Let myself
Be intimidated by


The supposed
Best years of my life
More like

I’m

Holding

Myself





Back




Am I?
Am I really?


I look at those
Worse than me

And I feel secure


I look at those
Better
A seemingly larger majority


And that security unravels
Like a shriveled up plant

I’m
I
I
Iiiiiii
What

It’s scccccintimmmmidate-

I dunno
Why am I in such a mood?

Hopeless,
Am I?

If I can’t even,
Get the one think I’m good at right
What,
Can I do?
235 · Apr 2019
Paint
Anya Apr 2019
I dropped red paint
It got on my black pants
And my black shoes
And my black hair

I touched blue paint
It got on my brown arm
And brown nose
And brown cheek

I plopped yellow paint
On my pink lips
And pink nails
And pink phone

I lathered black paint
Made of yellow,
Blue,
And red paint
On my white soul

Now,
I have color
Weird ending isn’t it? I dunno, it spun off the axis for which it was originally intended.
231 · Sep 2018
CRAZY
Anya Sep 2018
CRAZY
...
...
...
Just another word
For people
We
Don’t
Understand
230 · Aug 2018
Forgot
Anya Aug 2018
On his cheek
I see a piece of her
He forgot to brush off
My attempt to imagine and convey an emotion I haven’t felt exactly myself in words.
226 · Sep 2018
Delusion
Anya Sep 2018
I’m Me
Simply leaving
These two words
Seems
As if either denying
Or insisting the fact
Why
Do I do what I do
Is it because
I have a fantasy complex and believe each thing I do
Has some mysterious other purpose
A careless
Flick off he brush
In actuality is a piece of a
Masterpiece
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