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Anya 9h
A moment of peace I call it
Ha!
Rather, in a rapidly moving tornado
A single coherent thought
may  be called a moment of peace
Yet here,
Sitting on this hard wooden chair, strong against my back
It is not quite,
a moment of peace
For in this case it is not the tornado,
that gives me reprieve
But I myself,
Choosing to ignore it and let it
Sit,
at the back of my mind and
Come back to bite me
Later
Check - work nine-to-five, eat, sleep, draw again.
Surviving the day, nothing more, c'est bien.

Or call - easy choice for the hand you were dealt.
Just settle for average; win, lose; both unfelt.

If you need to, just quit; to accept it, just fold.
Be resigned to your fate; easy just isn't bold.

If not, you might lose, see pain, heartbreak, and death.
Bracing for blows that will knock out your breath.

So you didn't call a bluff, didn't sees players who cheat?
Or they raised you too much, now you're feeling the heat.

And life may be a *****, she deals hands unfair.
She's the muscle who beats you; detached, doesn't care.

But here's the kicker, dear life's only tell -
There's so much more out there; fight right to the bell!

'Cuz quitting the game after one bad beat?
You'd risk every win, for fear of defeat?

Not even one pair? Means no partner for life?
No falling in love, no taking the dive.

I guess if you're scared, that's a dangerous risk
Probably not worth the bet.

No three of a kind? No partners in crime?
No best friends for life, no slowing down time?

I guess that you're busy, with your job, for your cheque.
Probably not worth the bet.

And no full house? Means no family to kiss...
No building your future, no dogs, and no kids?

I guess it's hard work to lay down those bricks;
Probably not worth the bet.

No royal flush? No laughter, no tears?
No joy and no sorrow, no fun and no fears?

I guess if the bad scares you more than the good,
Probably not worth the bet.

For you, at least, that all may be fact.
You'll hold back your gambles, buy-in if you're backed.

You save up your chips for just the right hand,
And don't see that they are all equally grand.

For life may be cruel, but she gives loans for chips,
So keep playing the game until your luck flips.

So, me? Hit me, life. I'll stick out my chin.  
In this game we're playing?
****, I'm all in.
making analogies
to express how i feel
but it feels a bit patah

like when i tell my therapist
i feel like a cactus that needs orange juice
and they excitedly pen it down
but i dont even understand what i mean

but analogies dont work
when you need to explain to your lecturer
why you're always late
they don't work when you ffk your friends
" again?? this is the fifth time this month!"
but what can i say but,
" i just feel like an ocean with a door,
Paralysed as people keep opening and shutting up"
...
...

They wont understand.
Because my analogies are broken.
Like my a/c that refuses to stay cold
what use is an analogy is no one can understand?

18/04/08
I smell a queen bee drenched in alcohol,
Dried up and soaked into a cotton ball.
When she speaks we eat of the words from
her mouth.
I live only to serve her,
I am here bread and butter

Raised inside a cell upon a brood frame,
Where they coated me in wax,
Encasing me in a pupa,
So they could being the process.

The pieces were placed carefully,
Deeply entrenched into my psyche.
All these thoughts they put inside me,
Coalesced into the form of a bee.

Locked into a pattern of thought,
Narrowing down the spectrum.
The only thought that never escapes me,
Is spending my life making a spoonful of honey!

But I am not alone,
It is not just me,
there are billions,
just like me!
She will be here forever,
As long as there is alcohol to sustain her.
Who is she to tell us what to do?!
We are the many and she is the few!
Big fat body,
Tiny little wings.
Anya Nov 23
I have a friend
She has a prickly
Exterior
Lashing out at
Others
First

Last year
She *** a pet
Hedgehog
...
It died two weeks later


Sometimes the shield we put up
Hurts us
The
Most
Anya Nov 22
“Ought”
Ought to do
What a strange word indeed
Very different
From “will”
Will do
Rather like it’s
Parent
Following behind      the child
Stubbornly refusing the jacket
They
     “Ought”
To wear
Like now I “ought” to sleep.
Anya Nov 8
Rather to be...
A big          fish
In a           small pond
Or small        fish
In a         big pond
I've come across this question
a        lot

Whether to be a lead        in the middle school play
Or an extra    in the high school play

To be top of          JV
or to be bottom of  Varsity

To get A's in           regular math
Or B's in accelerated

To be the best         of the worst
To be the worst         of the best

Is a question,
I'm
Still
Grappling             with
Anya Oct 10
I find...
I,
enjoy making fun
of myself
...
pulling out my flaws
and
like colorful balloon animals,
twisting them
into wacky creations
shapes
to laugh at

-Not me
the flaw
to see how silly I can
be

But what scares me
is,
does this
hint
at another flaw
I
seem
to
have?
Hmm...stanza three seems to be contradictory.
Anya Oct 9
A constantly
chugging train
plugging numbers
spitting answers
as exhaust
out
the chimney
Understandings
Clicking
fitting
snug
like the wheels
on the tracks
...
And all I can do
is my best
to
hold
on
mars Oct 3
Sleep with a
knife
under your pillow
for you don’t know
who they are.
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