It burned
at the back of my throat
like a lump of cancer
killing every living cell of hope
I had for
myself

Can this be the cycle I feared
the one that bites you in the ***
after years of planning
and assessing?

Why have I found myself
rotting in this chair, scarring my eye sight
drying my creative juices
guideline by guideline?

It is only
when a writer
is broken
that ink spills
from her cracks
to fall on paper

When was the last time
you called to show
your
emotions?

.

I have so much
I want to say
so much
                I want to write
a lot more

but I find myself
day
  d                          m
          r          a           ­       i                g
                e                  n

w­atching       it              all            like             a               movie

I am caught in between
wanting to be
"the one"
for you
and
"that one"
as well

I love myself a chase
a tease
a game.

You wanted
to have your
cake and eat it too
well honey
take a bite
I am spiked

Strawberry frosting
can be deceiving

What if
I wrote
about what
I can't talk about
would that make
you
disappear?

Would that
turn me into
a magician?

Don't change
the pe(r)son
I s(e)e
in good (m)(a)tters
and bad
s(i)tuatio(n)s

You can fight
yourself
for all the mistakes
that stitched themselves
in your past
but you can also ally
with the aftermath
that molded you
into that sculpture
you are today

Your "OK"
shattered my
"I love you"

Sleepless nights
prompt me
to spill the day's joys
and sorrows
to the stars that
sit there
staring back at me
shining with understanding

I severed
ties
and all I have
to give you
is a band aid
to stop the
bleeding
for I am robbed
of all my
FIRST AID KIT
of affection

There is
a certain kind of
rush
my body feels
when I pull
my heart out of my chest
and place it
in front of you

Your facade
does no(t)
r(e)flect
(n)or give justice
to what's
insi(d)e that
h(e)art of you(r)s
that you
keep hidden

It is only fair
that life
takes time
away from me
and barters it
with
moments
I visit
in my mind
from time to time

I looked into his eyes
and melted into a sea of emotions
fearless of the unknown
I floated over tears of confusion

I looked into his eyes
and
earthquaked his nerves
shaking his hands
as he ran them through my hair
Tangled
with years passed
and knots of "i don't knows"
I just lay there
quiet
the night
fused my nocturnal sense
with my day time,
this magic over came
all things shy

I am flowing,
floating.. wait
what

My fingers
drew futures on his back
and he was the star that won my heart
My fingers lingered, generating ripples
of goosebumps echoing all what he wanted to say
but couldn't
numb under my control, my magic
my human touch that's so rare today

My breaths created a language
that I and only know how to translate

My eyes, my hands
my body
him, me
night, day
stars
Dawn..

Good morning love,

"Come to think about it"

That saying that's an invitation

The heart has become
foreign to the knock
of love on its doors
It stored a doorbell

A writer's greatest fear
is being lonely
in his
own
mind

You're a fool
I will step out
of your zone
and claim
my own
for my galaxy
was too colourful
for such
black holes
Good
Bye

He ran his fingers
up and down her spine
like a cello
and with every glide
she released a sigh
that composed a melody
a symphony
that tuned
the night
their night

A writer's
worst curse
comes in the
form
of apathy
and that my darlings
is the worst kind
of death

I am in love
with so much mess
it will take so many years
to sit and contemplate
on why my
heart beats
so fast
at the presence
of chaos

It all began
with a gaze, then..
a thud knocked on my valve
disrupted the blood flow
constricted it
jolting my own chamber of life
with a new life
foreign to my heart
to my being
I opened all 4 rooms
and welcomed it with open arms
warming the cold chills
that have overtaken
it over the years

A constriction that
turned my face red
and made my lungs ache for air
as I took a deep breath
to fill the void
I inhaled your aura
and it nestled in
the center of my being
turning it into
a warm
home

They "One" My Pride

The difference
between
your
&
our
is
"Why"

What would it take
to personify that flame
that burns within?

What would it take
to supply enough oxygen
for eternal burning?

What would it take to avoid
confrontation when your merely
driven by desire?

What would it take to say "yes"
to a question whose "no"
is as apparent as a grey cloud in spring?

What would it take to release
all that frustration on paper
on walls on skin or even
on lips?

What would it take for me to taste
your sins, to fool with them
to sleep with them?

What would it take to enjoy
a dance under the rain at 3 am
all alone as your thoughts
lead the waltz?

What would it take to enjoy
a toxic binge as my neurons
burn one by one?

What would it take to write
endlessly, page after page
of unrelated thoughts?

What would it take for this heart
to beat, like a raging  
jealous lover?

What would it take to simply
find pride in awkwardness?

What would it take to *****
all the poison that your body has
gotten accustomed to?

What would it take
for words to create
the perfect creation?

What would it take for a writer
binge on drinks of inspirations
making love to his brain?

What
The
****
would
it
take?

The sound of your thoughts
crunch through my brain
every time
I chew
through
your
lies

My kisses go a long way
ready for the
journey?

It doesn't
have to
make sense
to make sense

"I think you
need to feel
this..." says intuition

"Can I censor it?
The movie seems
fine from my side"
says the heart

Satisfaction
never laid itself
on a silver platter

As long as I am human
in front of that platter
as long as I will
always ask for
more
more-ness

It's more than
just silence
when
my brain
forgets
how
to
t
     h      
           (ink)

Even the atoms
explode                
when
thoughts
of you
and I
collide
in the
space
Bet(in)ween

If you took a stroll
inside my heart
you'd feel
an earthquake
every time
it beats
echoing
his
name

My lips landed
on yours
I can't wait
to see
where this kiss
will take me

It's easier
written
than said!

"Who is
insane enough
to date you?" He asked

"Someone insane
enough to think" She said

I like
that you
see me
as your
favorite
color

Tame that fire
my darling
for they
say strike iron while
hot

Burn that flame
my darling
for they say
love is a burning
passion

Your flame
scares those
who are
afraid of matches
ask me
I've been
burned before
it usually
ends
with a passionate
red
scar